Dating apps

[Ddannison]

I feel like there are two types of pictures of men with their spiders:

First, the "hey look, I keep spiders" picture. This is always a handling photo and typically a selfie with either a face that says, "I'm edgy" or a face that says "I'm wacky."

Avoid this type of photo.

The other type is a photo someone has taken of you. Maybe doing maintenance or something. This type of photo shows that you have a hobby or passion which can reflect very positively, especially if you're otherwise pretty attractive.

If you don't really have looks going for you, I'd exclude photos with spiders.

I never keep the spiders a secret though....but I try to be as transparent as possible so that could just be a personal thing. That being said, avoid spiders as an opening subject unless there is an obvious interest in inverts or exotics or ecology

 

[darkness975]

Why does everyone in this and other threads say girl/women specifically are afraid of spiders?

Like @Leila said - it's because 99% of the women I know ARE afraid and hate them.

 

[Leila]

"If you don't really have looks going for you, I'd exclude photos with spiders."

@Ddannison, frank advice. Lol.
Blunt but true..

 

[BobBarley]

Why does everyone in this and other threads say girl/women specifically are afraid of spiders? The girls/women I know are not, at least not more than any man. I run a spider blog at work ('spider of the day') on our internal email system and 75% of the subscribers are women - several secretaries and the lone girl from IT included (whereas the guys are not). I don't know how many female teenagers I had over that were fascinated by my tarantulas, but there were several. I do encounter the 'Eeeek, a spider!!!' reaction from time to time, but just as often in men as in women. (Side note: our CFO (male) at work is terrified of snakes and won't enter my office with my boas.) Is it really that different in America?

To get back to the original question: I would put my keeping of tarantulas in the 'about me' part. If they can't deal with that they can't deal with me anyway. So why waste my time with them?

In my (albeit limited) experience, the 0.1.0 are more likely to express their disdain to me. The 1.0.0 may ask a few questions then ignore it lol.

 

[Ddannison]

"If you don't really have looks going for you, I'd exclude photos with spiders."

@Ddannison, frank advice. Lol.
Blunt but true..

We uglies don't have a lot of room for error when making first impressions haha

But in all honesty, a willingness/ unwillingness to accept something you're passionate about says a lot about their level of trust and open mindedness. Maybe putting a photo of you with your spiders will increase the quality of your messages/dates in terms of compatability, but decrease the quantity of messages/dates.

 

[Anoplogaster]

The other type is a photo someone has taken of you. Maybe doing maintenance or something. This type of photo shows that you have a hobby or passion which can reflect very positively, especially if you're otherwise pretty attractive.

I always wonder how people have such random pictures of themselves to post on dating apps. Unless you have your own personal photographer following you around, I can't recall a situation where someone would take a picture of me doing spider maintenance

 

[Anoplogaster]

I can crunk my spine to make my crotch pop. It hasn't helped

@Leila You need clarification? Not sure I can provide that without violating forum rules

 

[Ddannison]

I always wonder how people have such random pictures of themselves to post on dating apps. Unless you have your own personal photographer following you around, I can't recall a situation where someone would take a picture of me doing spider maintenance

I wonder the same thing....like, I can't imagine being in the middle of something and then stopping to ask my friend to take a picture for social media haha

 

[Leila]

@Leila You need clarification? Not sure I can provide that without violating forum rules

Then clarify that statement in a PM like normal people do. I have no idea what those words you wrote mean...

Edit: Uh, nm. I think I get it now. Lol

 

[Ungoliant]

Why does everyone in this and other threads say girl/women specifically are afraid of spiders? The girls/women I know are not, at least not more than any man.

When it comes to fear of spiders, I haven't noticed much of a difference between men and women except that men sometimes try to appear more stoic. (There is more of a social stigma attached to men who show fear, particular of something that is small and harmless.)

I'm surprised when anyone (not on this forum) -- male or female -- doesn't react with fear, revulsion, or jokes about killing my tarantulas.

 

[beaker41]

If you think getting rejected is bad try getting rejected by the one woman in ten thousand who isn't terrified of your hobby. A million fish in the sea ? Really ?

 

[TyjTheMighty]

I have to agree with @boina most of the "nope!"s, and occasional screams, and looks of horror I get are 90% from guys. My fiance's best friend has actually cried when he saw my Ts for the first time. He's not as dramatic anymore though

 

[Anoplogaster]

Once upon a time, men needed to appear more courageous. Our new generation commends honesty, where admittance of fears is perceived as a form of courage. Same reason I don't hold tears back during sad movie scenes.

 

[Anoplogaster]

So, on the topic of dating apps, for anyone who's going through it:

Don't give up on it. My current girlfriend came into my life through an app. It CAN work. The app facilitates meeting someone you otherwise wouldn't have met. I can tell you all that I've been on and off several of these apps for literally YEARS! So if you're feeling discouraged about it, just remember that it only takes one! And that one that you meet will probably be just as frustrated and drained as you are! So just keep the apps in the background and don't expect too much. You can hope to win the lottery all your life, and you'll never win it if you never buy a ticket.

I know this is totally off topic on AB. But hey, it's all about community

 

[Adrsfinest]

My girlfriend of six months still has no idea about my tarantula room. So there's that. In my defense, she has a crippling phobia of both spiders and roaches. Pretty sure she'd stroke out if she saw my colonies or stacks of enclosures.

All I know is if you ever show her you need to record that reaction!!

 

[ediblepain]

It seems like the men I bring home are much more likely to be freaked out by my fuzzies than the women I bring home. I use a kink/fetish social media site, and I have plenty of pics of my Ts on there. I like putting all my personality flaws out on the table as soon as possible. I don't want to waste their time, or my time. Pics of spiders are not nearly as off putting as unsolicited pics of private parts.

 

[ShyDragoness]

I think there should definitly be a dating site for T/invert keepers

 

[KooBea]

I met my boyfriend on a dating app 4 years ago but before I met him I messaged a man that had a T on his shoulder in his profile pic. I was somewhat arachnophobic (still am) but it was the part he filled out about himself that caught my eye not what was in the pic with him. His message back to me was what put me off him altogether.

 

[Leila]

If you think getting rejected is bad try getting rejected by the one woman in ten thousand who isn't terrified of your hobby. A million fish in the sea ? Really ?

Yeah, that sucks.
But honestly, think of all the people here on this forum: hundreds of invert lovers. Would you date any girl on here that hit you up? I doubt it. (and that is not a bad thing, lol)

 

[Adrsfinest]

I feel like there are two types of pictures of men with their spiders:

First, the "hey look, I keep spiders" picture. This is always a handling photo and typically a selfie with either a face that says, "I'm edgy" or a face that says "I'm wacky."

Avoid this type of photo.

The other type is a photo someone has taken of you. Maybe doing maintenance or something. This type of photo shows that you have a hobby or passion which can reflect very positively, especially if you're otherwise pretty attractive.

If you don't really have looks going for you, I'd exclude photos with spiders.

I never keep the spiders a secret though....but I try to be as transparent as possible so that could just be a personal thing. That being said, avoid spiders as an opening subject unless there is an obvious interest in inverts or exotics or ecology

I better keep the spider pics out then