Women and our Tarantulas

[TheraMygale]

That almost reads as a challenge

Its a trap

 

[Charliemum]

Its a trap

Yerp a man-ipulation

 

[Tentacle Toast]

...you do you..

LoL, this is a relatively new figure of speech, & the first time I encountered it, I interpreted it as the gentleman with which I was having the disagreement devising a way to tell me to go .... myself without actually saying it. It turned into a real teachable moment, LoL.
But you're not wrong, & it's done me well thus far, in that I never end up needing to do me one way or the other, in the uendo....LoLoL

 

[Charliemum]

LoL, this is a relatively new figure of speech, & the first time I encountered it, I interpreted it as the gentleman with which I was having the disagreement devising a way to tell me to go .... myself without actually saying it. It turned into a real teachable moment, LoL.
But you're not wrong, & it's done me well thus far, in that I never end up needing to do me one way or the other, in the uendo....LoLoL

No not dismissing you at all, you know I enjoy our banter suppose this goes with people seeing things in different ways and not being able to convey tone.
Ah your one of those= so you like to play
You do you = crack on then
Not dismissing at all.

You make me laugh

 

[Matt Man]

I try, thankfully I still get to spend a lot of time with her (She's 21 and on her own) but yes, I let her know how impressed I am with her constantly. Tom Moran gave her kudos when she was a kid because she was in a video and she pronounced poecilotheria properly.
Much of her success I credit to Tarantulas. The early access gave her an interest in Science, introduced her to genus and species, and lead to reptiles and amphibians. So even though she isn't a biologist, she had that going for her at an early age.
Speaking of reptiles, her Limburg Anery Coastal Rosy Boa just dropped neo-nates, which is pretty exciting as well.
This Lydia, the new Mom.

Lydia Oh Lydia.jpg

• Matt Man
• Jan 9, 2024
• 6

Lydia, my daughter's Anery Limburg Coastal.

and FTR, she gave birth to 4 beautiful neonates they are absolutely spectacular

 

[TheraMygale]

To my American Sisters, its not to late. Today is the time where your vote will actualy make a change.

sitting at home and thinking it won’t matter, will definitely not change anything.

abortion rights, child care, everything that puts pressure on us is now up to vote. You can make a difference.

i am in Canada and don’t think your situation does not affect me. Your abortion rights have a direct affect in our services. We are here for you. But we so hope you wouldnt have to put your lives at risk for these services.

go vote.

 

[TheraMygale]

Well, I have told no girls on tinder that I keep almost 30 tarantulas because I guess that would mean they might unmatch me

i think you would get the right girls then. And out of ten matches, atleast one will be worth a coffee date.

it pays to be honest.

ps: for the record, any human willing to go on a date that has no alcohol involved, is a keeper.

a breakfast date will eliminate atleast 50% of toxic people.

 

[kingshockey]

@ mustafa67 you gotta tell em if they try to hen peck you the ts get released to gag and wrap em up in silk then besides if a woman isnt going to accept you as is your better off without them a part of your life anywaysunless ofcourse your just out for the one night of loving and ghosting the person after. then lie away

 

[TheraMygale]

@ mustafa67 you gotta tell em if they try to hen peck you the ts get released to gag and wrap em up in silk then besides if a woman isnt going to accept you as is your better off without them a part of your life anywaysunless ofcourse your just out for the one night of loving and ghosting the person after. then lie away

context is important, and individual intentions.

if people are looking for one nights, i doubt it matters if they have tarantulas.

 

[ladyratri]

if people are looking for one nights, i doubt it matters if they have tarantulas.

Unless you keep your T's somewhere highly visible -- like your living room or bedroom -- and being home someone arachnophobic.

 

[TheraMygale]

Unless you keep your T's somewhere highly visible -- like your living room or bedroom -- and being home someone arachnophobic.

It can be worked around: go to the other persons bedroom. Or get a hotel.

in 2024, people need privacy more then ever.

 

[Introvertebrate]

Unbeknownst to me at the time, a coworker of mine has a critter phobia. I once showed her a picture of my T, and she literally went running down the hallway. However, whenever there's a spider, stink bug, or anything else in the building, I'm now the go-to guy to get rid of it.

 

[The Snark]

@Tentacle Toast i agree that some writing styles can show feminity.

That buried me in re-reading and trying to make a comparison between Sartre, Dostoyevsky and Simone de Beauvior. Our top three existentialist authors. A long arduous journey into the darkest recesses of the human heart. de Beauvior wins hands down in my rating scale due to her meticulous surpassing analytical thinking. Fyodor more of the dilettante school. But be all that as it may, the mind of the existentialist, their thinking, certainly gives an aloof objective perspective when boiled down to the ultra mundane male vs female competition.
For a little light reading I highly recommend de Beauvior's The Second Sex. (Give yourself a few months to ruminate and digest that little monster. It being banned by the Vatican gives her efforts a triple gold star in my library.)

Beauvoir writes that motherhood left woman "riveted to her body", like an animal, and made it possible for men to dominate her and Nature.[13] She describes man's gradual domination of women, starting with the statue of a female Great Goddess found in Susa, and eventually the opinion of ancient Greeks like Pythagoras, who wrote, "There is a good principle that created order, light, and man and a bad principle that created chaos, darkness, and woman.

As for Sartre, give his Nausea a quick read through. “Like all dreamers I confuse disenchantment with truth.”

Women keeping Ts. Canvas the veterinarians offices. Who gains confidence and calms a freaked out animal faster? The top flight expert male vet or the female receptionist?

 

[mady long legs]

I personally do not know any other female keepers, but the male keepers I have met at conventions have been super encouraging. That being said, I drag my husband to shows all the time, and I do find that many of the vendors will address him or try "selling" to him before me. He of course always explains he is just here to support me and keep me from spending too much lol.

 

[TheraMygale]

I personally do not know any other female keepers, but the male keepers I have met at conventions have been super encouraging. That being said, I drag my husband to shows all the time, and I do find that many of the vendors will address him or try "selling" to him before me. He of course always explains he is just here to support me and keep me from spending too much lol.

i love this contribution. This is systematic sexism in plain view. A couple, or two people, one who visibly identifies as male, the other female. Both at a booth, the male is adressed first.

very interesting and very relevant to this thread. Thank you for brining this up.

i know sometimes things like this happen “randomly”. But it definitely happens too often, because of how the system is built. Things are changing, of course.

 

[WolfieKate]

i love this contribution. This is systematic sexism in plain view. A couple, or two people, one who visibly identifies as male, the other female. Both at a booth, the male is adressed first.

very interesting and very relevant to this thread. Thank you for brining this up.

i know sometimes things like this happen “randomly”. But it definitely happens too often, because of how the system is built. Things are changing, of course.

I said this before but the Invert show in the UK I went to was incredibly diverse. Children, women and men. It felt like a family day out. I intend to take one of my kids next time. I was also fortunate that sellers addressed me not my husband. My autistic daughter is studying animal management and may soon be doing a work placement in a reptile / invert store. At college she cares for the snakes, spiders, beetles, and the isopods. Everyone on her course is female. Just a reflection on the state of playing the UK. Social media production is still male dominated however which skews perceptions. On the whole though I think she’d rather have a lizard.

 

[TheraMygale]

It has been a while since no new postings. I feel it a responsibility to keep this fresh.

recently, at work, someone told me: you know “insert name”, you’re kind of like, a man.

i replied with equal power, which unfortunately, i can not post here because it goes against the rules.

that being said the saga continues.

 

[Gevo]

Some recent experiences:

I got to show some of the nieces, nephews, and niblings some photos and videos of my tarantulas over the holidays, and they were fascinated by them. I was the Cool Aunt at the table!

A colleague saw a kids’ tarantula book that came with a little B. hamorii pendant necklace at her kids’ Scholastic book fair and bought it for me. It was really sweet, and I was genuinely touched by the gesture!

I received some Christmas cards from neighbours that were made out to me and my husband, our cats, and our tarantulas, all by name. 🥹

Friends always ask about how my tarantulas are doing when we’re catching up and they’re asking about everyone else in the house, human and non-human.

I recently met an old friend of my husband’s who was visiting from the US, and when she found out I had tarantulas, she gave the look but then listened openly and with respect and even fascination when I told her the personal saga of what brought me to bring tarantulas into my life in the first place.

It’s been a while since I’ve met someone who has been uncomfortably weird about it, but when I did, I was at a friend’s birthday party, and it was stupid because the people who were creeped out by it were all heavily tattooed and/or witchy folks, and I found that interesting. Like, dude, you have a spider web tattooed over your whole scalp, and you’re giving me a disgusted look for having a couple of tarantulas? Pfft!

 

[mady long legs]

Some recent experiences:

I got to show some of the nieces, nephews, and niblings some photos and videos of my tarantulas over the holidays, and they were fascinated by them. I was the Cool Aunt at the table!

A colleague saw a kids’ tarantula book that came with a little B. hamorii pendant necklace at her kids’ Scholastic book fair and bought it for me. It was really sweet, and I was genuinely touched by the gesture!

I received some Christmas cards from neighbours that were made out to me and my husband, our cats, and our tarantulas, all by name. 🥹

Friends always ask about how my tarantulas are doing when we’re catching up and they’re asking about everyone else in the house, human and non-human.

I recently met an old friend of my husband’s who was visiting from the US, and when she found out I had tarantulas, she gave the look but then listened openly and with respect and even fascination when I told her the personal saga of what brought me to bringing tarantulas into my life in the first place.

It’s been a while since I’ve met someone who has been uncomfortably weird about it, but when I did, I was at a friend’s birthday party, and it was stupid because the people who were creeped out by it were all heavily tattooed and/or witchy folks, and I found that interesting. Like, dude, you have a spider web tattooed over your whole scalp, and you’re giving me a disgusted look for having a couple of tarantulas? Pfft!

I wish I had experiences like this! I feel like most people I tell respond with such vile things, usually telling me how they want to harm them, or they are never coming to my house (not like they were invited anyways lol). It usually becomes awkward after I ask how they would feel if I said I wanted to harm their dog. I think people don't realize that our spiders aren't just something cool we have, they are pets that we care deeply about and spend a lot of time caring for, researching and so on. I use to never say anything when people would be nasty after finding out I keep them but I just got so tired of the nasty comments! Luckily my family/close friends make up for the people who are weird about it.

 

[fcat]

In short, my experience being a female tarantula keeper has been much, much better than my experience being a female.

I started getting cat called about 10, at the first show of breast development. I never felt safe walking home from school, even when I only had to cross the street....even there I got cat called. It's even more disgusting when you realize it tapers off as the victims age... They are more desirable the closer they appear to puberty. It shaped my whole identity. I became very protective of my body, I went out of my way to dress in plain androgenous clothing (Tom boy forever) and no makeup of course. It was my burden but also MY temple. I grew to resent men for looking at me. I dressed the way I did because I didn't want them "enjoying" my body. I wanted to go unnoticed. And for this....Females....hated me. It's getting better the older I get, but even at almost 40, I get treated like garbage by older females. Listen. I didn't choose this body, I don't do anything to make it look a certain way, I don't wear makeup for a few reasons but one of them I I want to look ugly and I don't want those pigs' attention you seek...why can't we be on the same team? From the limited reading I've done...it sounds like this behavior towards women by women starts in KINDERGARTEN. Identified as competition.

And that's where my rope ends. I can't tolerate women belittling women. Some of us have had it rough. We are supposed to be each other's safe place. Build each other up while the rest of the world breaks us down.

In regards to this online community...this is the safest I have ever felt being a woman. Thank you for that.

In real life I graduated from crazy cat lady to crazy spider lady. People love to make fun of independent women. Can you think of any "Crazy______ men" statements? I can't. Do we have a male version of "Karen?"

The sexism I have witnessed or experienced around tarantulas is limited. I watched my boyfriend get a free Poecilotheria as his first tarantula. Like someone gave him a tarantula for free and he doesn't keep them. I do. The person knows this. A frigging pokie too.

At expos they talk to him first, so now I have him park the car while I go hightail it to buy spiders before he gets inside. Im always happy to see @Matt Man and his daughter, just wish you guys could make it out more often. Our few expos are very reptile centric.

Last expo I struck up a conversation with another female customer while we were both waiting to be served. We chatted for a good 10 minutes. I let her go first since she knew what she wanted and I had questions I like to ask in private (If I buy a few will you give me a discount ). This vendor I have met a few times, and he knows my face enough to know he should remember me, and every time I tell him my name he tells me that's his wife's name Anyway, he asked if I knew that lady...I told him no and he was surprised because for those 10 minutes we were acting like middle school best friends I told him that it's not often I get to meet female keepers in real life so when I do I want to be their friend.

One of my favorite days ever was going to the expo with Gabby, a younger keeper here, and her mom. When I was trying to discourage my other half from attending..."I want to have a girls day at the expo, when are you ever going to hear those words come out of my mouth again?" About 6 months when the next expo came

I have a sneaking suspicion that new female keepers get treated a little differently here. How do I know they are women or men? Only their pictures or their name, the same assumption everyone can make. Am I biased because I am more sensitive to it? You betcha!

Since anger is an emotion, please accept my apology if I offended the more sensitive demographic. In all seriousness, I would like to think I know just as many respectful ones as I do the others.

Outside this website, I feel very unsafe. It's only been a few days and reproductiverights.gov has already been erased. The constitution page is gone. So is the Spanish version. We aren't the only ones being erased and invalidated and treated like objects but we must remember we have something they want from us. And they will take it. We need to support each other now more than ever. No one is coming to save us.

Much love to everyone that has posted and for starting this thread. I understand that some may not understand this fear of being a woman, or how different it is for us, I'm sparing a lot of horrible details, I'm just asking that you believe us.