Women and our Tarantulas

[Liquifin]

This hobby is open and welcomes anyone regardless of who or what they are.

 

[Gevo]

Sorry to hear about the cat-calling and harassment. That's inappropriate regardless of the reasons for it, and I hope your workplace takes it seriously.

Aside from one of the women who works at my local specialty reptile/arachnid pet shop (and yes, she's been a good source of info--rare for pet shops, I know!), I'm the only tarantula keeper I know in real life. I consulted some of my biologist and entomologist colleagues before buying my tarantulas, and while not experienced with tarantulas, they were pretty stoked that I was into them and gave me some leads for info. Friends have been supportive. They think it's neat and like learning about them through me. I send them derpy photos and videos and they love it. My husband loves that I love my tarantulas, even if they're not really his thing. He just cares that they make me happy and that all the living things in our home are properly cared for.

I've had conversations about tarantulas with a few men at the reptile shop, and they were good ones. In one case, a fellow was considering getting a tarantula but wasn't sure, so I talked to him about what it's been like for me to have them, which ones would be better to start with (P. metallica, of course! ), and where he can go to learn more (of course I suggested the forum!). He was very appreciative of the info. Same with the reptile expos I've gone to--all engagements about tarantulas have been positive.

That said, I know Tarantula Kat did a video on her experiences as a woman in the hobby and as a content creator, and I believe the women who say this has been an issue for them. I wonder, though, if some of it isn't so much a problem with the tarantula hobby as it is a problem with social media culture, or with some of the subcultures that might intersect with tarantula keeping.

 

[Ultum4Spiderz]

Not everyone is not an idiot.

Common sense is free, unfortunately people think it cost money. gender isn’t part of idioocrazy .
Anyone of any gender can keep tarantula or pets in general.

 

[viper69]

Common sense is free, unfortunately people think it cost money. gender isn’t part of idioocrazy .
Anyone of any gender can keep tarantula or pets in general.

Common sense isn't common

 

[Ultum4Spiderz]

Common sense isn't common

Exactly but think Monty pythons holy Grail, that’s the common sense lot of people have.

 

[TheraMygale]

Its still a relevant question and i am still curious about others experiences.

i have my share ever since i posted this. I will try and keep it fresh to see if anyone else has anything to share.

its not about calling out anyone or canceling anyone.

just an experience.

My own experience keeps getting better as people get to know me personaly. At this point, i doubt it has anything to do wirh my gender, but my own intelligence.

 

[Arachnophobphile]

What the hell.....all this time I thought spideyspinneret78 was a dude .

I do not go out of my way trying to figure out which members are female though, could care less about that.

If it's not obvious from the username then I don't know and I don't think any different if it's a woman posting or a man, doesn't matter.

I've noticed since I've been keeping T's that more women keep T's and are more accepting of arachnoculture than men.

However I will say it's not a gender defining separation on invert keeping but age. Arachnoculture alone is more accepted by younger generations than older.

In my age range seems to be extremely rare keeping invertebrates outside of AB. It seems to be very accepted from teenage to early and late 30's generally. Starting with mid 40's and up seems to become very rare.

I'm about the same age as Tom Moran. Exactly same age or 1 year difference.

Outside of AB I've only ran into one person that's also a member here that's a man and a real cool dude. I also ran into one woman at a pet store that not only owns a G. rosea but also handles it frequently. That's another story in itself.

No one should be throwing around the words "Toxic Masculinity". Those words in itself are toxic and are used by feminist activist to create a narrative to throw all men in that box for being men, enough of that nonsense.

I can say without a doubt what I've personally witnessed in at least the last 10 years is "Toxic Feminality". People call them "Karens" but that is one example. I also apologize for using those words as I think it's ignorant. I only presented it as an example. Never point your finger at someone because you have three pointing back at you.

What I witness in grocery stores, retail stores, restaurants, traffic or drive-through at a fast food place are women having meltdowns. Even at work it's always the women. So if we want to do a comparison it is definitely women that have the majority of the issues.

Our country has shifted to a social meltdown mess. It's so bad I don't know if it will ever be repairable. Forget the gender qualms people in general have become completely ignorant towards each other. You see it in traffic at the stores just everywhere. Everytime I get in my car to go somewhere I know there is a high chance of some idiot running into me running a red light. Their time is more important than other people's life that they do stupid things like that.

 

[Gevo]

Idiocy is the great equalizer!

 

[Charliemum]

Late to this but
Female here n always felt included ever since I joined ab looking for info on a spider I got in my crix .
I have received questionable pm's from a few members (non still active) earlier on but not for ages most of the dudes on here are respectful but a little sassy sometimes
I have however noticed alot more women on ab lately but that could be more the making friends and finding out gender through that rather then there actually being more
I don't watch any female spider utubers they either scream n jump or have so much cleavage the t could burrow in it, not for me lol I will stick to Tom

 

[CentiPete]

I would say from my pov keeping inverts is one of the spaces where such little safe and scientifically proven knowledge exists, or let’s say is at least not being distributed in an easy to digest manner, that pet shop people selling their half-baked anecdotes as facts and acting like they know it all is super common and might get confused with some dude mansplaining away easily. Before you came into the store he for sure did the same spiel to the last guy who was asking for something else, regardless of gender it’s always a pissing contest.
I see the same in the herp sector. Bearded dragons are being kept in such a variety of enclosures, which seem completely contradictory to each other and aside from knowledge about how to breed them, very few information about their natural behaviour is scientifically documented.
For such a common and popular animal I would have expected more knowledge available and of all things more consensus. But nooo, go in three different shops and walk away with three different answers to the same question.

As a general rule, I always ignore „tips“ of people trying to sell me something, as in almost every single case the advice was setting me up for animal cruelty. I do my research beforehand and ask the guy „do you sell x“ if they don‘t I leave.

It has been true for animals, guitars and amplifiers, cars, skateboards, whatever I can think of never rely on info from the shop owner

Cheers to all the lady keepers, in this hobby we are all in the same boat, and that‘s a fact!

 

[Glorfindel]

Its nice to have forums where the discussion has nothing to do with our "pronouns", prefer not to know.

 

[The Snark]

I feel compelled to chime in here but from bitter experience I'm only going to be accused of being an alien again.
What in heck does a persons sex have anything to do with keeping Ts, or any other animal for that matter?

If a person is a competent leader, manager, head of whatever, you judge your minions, teams, squads, groups, what evers, by their proven capacities and capabilities. If a persons sex enters into your judgement you're stupid and shouldn't be in charge. Same applies to everything. Especially people you work with.

Maybe my viewpoint is skewed from my upbringing. My bio parents. Dad was a grunt. Manual laborer. Never graduated high school. Mom was the bread winner, the degreed smart one, head of the household. When she went to work she was a shoe in as vice consul at an embassy. NOT ambassadorial material because her job description was keeping the embassy organized with serious attention to details. Leave the politics stuff to the blowhard males.

Then in my adopting family house, same same. Mom the bread winner with the degrees. Aunty ran the house with an iron fist. That got a little comical several times a week. Five rather large (huge) brothers and two sisters deep in the black ghetto. But don't even think about using ghetto speak in the house. Or any cuss word for that matter. As one bro instructed me, "Watch your mouth. She can hear a bug fart in a tornado." Out of the kitchen or back room storms aunty wielding that cast iron skillet, flames coming out of her eyes and the half ton+ of macho brothers cringing in fear.

Aunty up in my face. "You get your butt into college and make sure you toe the line. I ain't putting up with loosers under this roof."
Me in welding class,. Pathetic. Pressure. Make the grade, GPA, or face aunty's wrath. My welding beads sucked. I've taken the wrong shop class. Another welder shoves into the booth with me. Strikes an arc and poetry in motion. Picture perfect welds. I asked "How long have you been welding?" A female voice replied, "I just started. May I give you some pointers?" And I think to myself, 'It figures. Of course. More meticulous, detail oriented. Better dexterity.'

That is one rule of thumb I've kept my entire career and life. A general rule. Want someone who focuses a little better, pays close attention to the details, is usually more meticulous, screen the females first. Running a pack train, law enforcement, ambulance, FF, machine shop, engineering, need a cooler head that tends to think things through, try to partner up with a female. And if she happens to be a macho arse kicker, great! Bonus! Might cover my butt and bail my arse if things go south fast.

So alien here. Women keeping Ts? Where's the problem? Why is this even being discussed?


On a fire line. We both took a tumble down a rocky cliff. Mutually decided to head back to base. I asked, "So who's carrying who?" She thought a moment. "Well, you're stronger but your leg's <snip> up. My back's out. So you support me and I'll razz you for walking funny."
Correction.

Spoiler

We were hose dragging. She was new to the sport and strained her back. Didn't know the rope trick. I used the rope which broke and went over the cliff. 4 incher is 350 lbs per 50 feet. Don't try to bend over and drag it. Tie a rope to it and use the whole body to pull it.

 

[Matt Man]

I think the hobby is pretty good about inclusion. I know some female T keepers on this board, some I have met personally, some I referred to the board when making a sale. I see LOTs of women, young and old buying inverts and I think the Jumping spider Social Media blitz has increased their numbers.
If that's the gateway, so be it, the more the merrier in my book. But what do I know, I'm just some old dude with a daughter who is also a T keeper

 

[IntermittentSygnal]

But what do I know, I'm just some old dude with a daughter who is also a T keeper

Whose daughter is also a T whisperer.

 

[Ultum4Spiderz]

Whose daughter is also a T whisperer.

nice .
controversial term for something that hears with vibrations. I like having a smaller collection less maintenance. 🧑‍ although I could handle 50+ again if I had enough space which I don’t.
I applaud any t keeper who does there research here and is successful regardless of gender.

 

[Charliemum]

nice .
controversial term for something that hears with vibrations. I like having a smaller collection less maintenance. 🧑‍ although I could handle 50+ again if I had enough space which I don’t. View attachment 484679
I applaud any t keeper who does there research here and is successful regardless of gender.

A while bk matts daughter did a show with him rehousing several t's np in a small amount of time , so it's a running joke she is a t whisperer she doesn't actually whisperer at t's, although they would still sense it as all sound makes vibrations

 

[Ultum4Spiderz]

A while bk matts daughter did a show with him rehousing several t's np in a small amount of time , so it's a running joke she is a t whisperer she doesn't actually whisperer at t's, although they would still sense it as all sound makes vibrations

Yeah that’s impressive!!!! t whisperer makes sense as being an expert. Like dog whisperer.

 

[goofyGoober99]

I have been thinking about this thread for a while.

on the board we might seem plenty, but we are a minority, nonetheless. Let me make a note here, even though there are a few women influencers, this has nothing to do with this post. This post is about what relates to the culture and reality of women keeping tarantulas.

the only aspect of women, in the eyes of the public, aka youtube, that might brush up with this subject, is the hardships to actualy get recognition.

This Thread, is where i wish us Women who keep spiders, to come together and share our experiences in this world that is still, mostly a man majority.

of course we have our place: it is seen everywhere and in expos. But more often then not, the women are used as click bait.

what i want is a place for us to discuss our experiences, challenge trains of thoughts and a place to share that really inapproriate moment where someone told you, you were sexy and badass, just because you kept tarantulas.

i mean, come on. That is not why we keep them. I would never tell a man he’s sexy or badass because he had a tarantula

of course, i wish for this thread to be inclusive, too those who might not identify as a women. My goal though, is really to have a place where we can discuss anything tarantula related that might have an extra feature just because, we are women.

its hard for me to explain, let me try an exemple. At work, when men learn i have tarantulas, their attitude changes towards me. Some even give me cat calls.

in stores, when i ask questions, they take me for an idiot. Or challenge my knowledge.

on the boards, ever felt like you posted the right information but it was a mans response that got attention? Of course, it might be unrelated, but is it?

this is what i want to discuss.

i want a place for us women with spiders in our hair to get to rant of these things.

of course, let me be welcoming. Men, you can come and show your support. Lend your voice to bring us up. But this isnt a place for your to say you are being discriminated. Make a thread about it. You are welcome to laugh and agree with us. We are not here to discriminate you.

i want this thread for us women who might have something to say and have no where to say it.

lets share and be able to be ourselves.

i did not put this in the Hide because i know not everyone can afford to be a supporter.

if this thread goes nowhere then i will still sleep at night. However, i believe this tiny space is needed.

My long stint in customer facing positions has given me spidey senses (get it ) for the kind of people I'd rather avoid.
Thus, I have avoided any unpleasant encounters for quite awhile. Not looking like a minor has also helped but that's a whole other can of worms...

Some of the men's responses to this thread have been interesting.
I feel there is lack of understanding as to why a woman might feel some trepidation when entering what is ostensibly a male dominated space. Although no official demographic information exists, at least here, men are in the majority. As some have mentioned, it does seem to be equalizing though with many younger women entering the hobby.

On the internet, man is default. I have a gotten a bit of a giggle out of the "you're a woman??" responses.

I'm curious to see how this conversation continues

 

[IntermittentSygnal]

A while bk matts daughter did a show with him rehousing several t's np in a small amount of time , so it's a running joke she is a t whisperer she doesn't actually whisperer at t's, although they would still sense it as all sound makes vibrations

Pokies!

 

[Charliemum]

Yeah that’s impressive!!!! t whisperer makes sense as being an expert. Like dog whisperer.

Yes exactly like that

Pokies!

Yes! That was it , I knew it was ow t's n arboreal but couldn't remember the genus thank you