Women and our Tarantulas

[TheraMygale]

I have been thinking about this thread for a while.

on the board we might seem plenty, but we are a minority, nonetheless. Let me make a note here, even though there are a few women influencers, this has nothing to do with this post. This post is about what relates to the culture and reality of women keeping tarantulas.

the only aspect of women, in the eyes of the public, aka youtube, that might brush up with this subject, is the hardships to actualy get recognition.

This Thread, is where i wish us Women who keep spiders, to come together and share our experiences in this world that is still, mostly a man majority.

of course we have our place: it is seen everywhere and in expos. But more often then not, the women are used as click bait.

what i want is a place for us to discuss our experiences, challenge trains of thoughts and a place to share that really inapproriate moment where someone told you, you were sexy and badass, just because you kept tarantulas.

i mean, come on. That is not why we keep them. I would never tell a man he’s sexy or badass because he had a tarantula

of course, i wish for this thread to be inclusive, too those who might not identify as a women. My goal though, is really to have a place where we can discuss anything tarantula related that might have an extra feature just because, we are women.

its hard for me to explain, let me try an exemple. At work, when men learn i have tarantulas, their attitude changes towards me. Some even give me cat calls.

in stores, when i ask questions, they take me for an idiot. Or challenge my knowledge.

on the boards, ever felt like you posted the right information but it was a mans response that got attention? Of course, it might be unrelated, but is it?

this is what i want to discuss.

i want a place for us women with spiders in our hair to get to rant of these things.

of course, let me be welcoming. Men, you can come and show your support. Lend your voice to bring us up. But this isnt a place for your to say you are being discriminated. Make a thread about it. You are welcome to laugh and agree with us. We are not here to discriminate you.

i want this thread for us women who might have something to say and have no where to say it.

lets share and be able to be ourselves.

i did not put this in the Hide because i know not everyone can afford to be a supporter.

if this thread goes nowhere then i will still sleep at night. However, i believe this tiny space is needed.

 

[spideyspinneret78]

I've had almost the opposite experience. I am a woman, and all of the tarantula keepers that I've met at expos, pet stores, online, etc. have all been very welcoming to me and haven't judged me based on the fact that I'm female. People, male or female in the hobby, have always gone out of their way to include me in tarantula-related activities. I believe that people who are drawn to the more unusual animals tend to be pretty open minded (in most cases, there will always be jerks). Even people who aren't tarantula keepers often react with interest and curiosity when they learn that I keep big hairy spiders as pets. It's unfortunate that your experiences have been different.

 

[TheraMygale]

I've had almost the opposite experience. I am a woman, and all of the tarantula keepers that I've met at expos, pet stores, online, etc. have all been very welcoming to me and haven't judged me based on the fact that I'm female. People, male or female in the hobby, have always gone out of their way to include me in tarantula-related activities. I believe that people who are drawn to the more unusual animals tend to be pretty open minded (in most cases, there will always be jerks). Even people who aren't tarantula keepers often react with interest and curiosity when they learn that I keep big hairy spiders as pets. It's unfortunate that your experiences have been different.

not all my experiences have been unfortunate. I still believe it does come into play. Where i buy my tarantulas, it was never a negative experience. It was great.

i think some experiences do happen. I am happy your current experience has been a good one. We need those.

 

[cold blood]

I find that women arent the minority in the hobby that many think they are....I would say more than half the breeders I know are female, and some of them are my most trusted sources for sharing info...and MMs.

 

[FatBadBay]

I haven't had any bad experiences with being a female and owning tarantulas. In fact I know more female tarantula keepers than I do male keepers.

 

[Ultum4Spiderz]

I find that women arent the minority in the hobby that many think they are....I would say more than half the breeders I know are female, and some of them are my most trusted sources for sharing info...and MMs.

Good news for the hobby , I don’t think stereotypes of women all being afraid of spiders are accurate. Especially with tarantulas and inverts being good exotic pets. Plenty of women keep them!!!

 

[YellowBrickRoad]

Somehow I can't let this one go. I've been in more trouble for T's I've gotten rid of/sold/traded than anything else I've done. My lady doesn't let me skip a beat. She says she loves them all, and that I can have/get any tarantula i want, just as long as I take care of it/them.

She never knew about spiders until I came along. And I think she's attractive. I think someone/a lady interested in T's is more of a "wow, we are interested in the same thing" I dont want to do you, I'm more interested in what T's you keep... if anything.

I would highly like to note that 2 people interested in the same thing can and will generate a more genuine feeling most commonly referred to as love. Guys like stuff more when the one they love is interested.

Anyway, chicks dig T's, and I do too.

After all, it's just a unique hobby,
YellowBrickRoad

My lady and I enjoying another hobby, dogs.

 

[LilithArachne]

Yeah, I interacted more with women T-keepers than men T-keepers. One of them raised cockroaches too!

 

[ladyratri]

I think technically I only know one other T keeper in "real life"...and that person is also female.

Clearly, I will need to get myself to an expo at some point. In the name of social research, of course. So I can report back with more concrete data.

Absolutely.

 

[YellowBrickRoad]

I think technically I only know one other T keeper in "real life"...and that person is also female.

Clearly, I will need to get myself to an expo at some point. In the name of social research, of course. So I can report back with more concrete data.

Absolutely.

Oh, so you want to go all expo'n on my ass... girl you better bring cash!

[^^^all fun and games, no harm intended^^^]

I spent some time in the bloody bean, I know you hear this song on the radio every Friday, and I wonder if the Hood blimp still hovers overhead on Friday too?

But if it were a yellow dress.. maybe not so cruel.

 

[AphonopelmaTX]

its hard for me to explain, let me try an exemple. At work, when men learn i have tarantulas, their attitude changes towards me. Some even give me cat calls.

I think those guys that give you cat calls at work, regardless of the reason, need to be fired. That's unacceptable behavior anywhere.

in stores, when i ask questions, they take me for an idiot. Or challenge my knowledge.

This has happened to me so many times, as a guy, that it is the primary reason that I stopped going to exotic pet stores and reptile expos to buy tarantulas. To me it was more annoying than insulting because most people who keep, breed, and sell tarantulas only know enough to keep them alive in captivity, which isn't that difficult, but very few actually know anything about the natural history of tarantulas.

on the boards, ever felt like you posted the right information but it was a mans response that got attention? Of course, it might be unrelated, but is it?

I'm not even sure how you know which member of this site is a man or woman unless they include it in their profile, but it is probably unrelated anyway. I encounter this situation sometimes which is fine with me. People have their own reasons for positively reacting to one response over another, and it is a truly fascinating thing to watch.

 

[Mustafa67]

I have been thinking about this thread for a while.

on the board we might seem plenty, but we are a minority, nonetheless. Let me make a note here, even though there are a few women influencers, this has nothing to do with this post. This post is about what relates to the culture and reality of women keeping tarantulas.

the only aspect of women, in the eyes of the public, aka youtube, that might brush up with this subject, is the hardships to actualy get recognition.

This Thread, is where i wish us Women who keep spiders, to come together and share our experiences in this world that is still, mostly a man majority.

of course we have our place: it is seen everywhere and in expos. But more often then not, the women are used as click bait.

what i want is a place for us to discuss our experiences, challenge trains of thoughts and a place to share that really inapproriate moment where someone told you, you were sexy and badass, just because you kept tarantulas.

i mean, come on. That is not why we keep them. I would never tell a man he’s sexy or badass because he had a tarantula

of course, i wish for this thread to be inclusive, too those who might not identify as a women. My goal though, is really to have a place where we can discuss anything tarantula related that might have an extra feature just because, we are women.

its hard for me to explain, let me try an exemple. At work, when men learn i have tarantulas, their attitude changes towards me. Some even give me cat calls.

in stores, when i ask questions, they take me for an idiot. Or challenge my knowledge.

on the boards, ever felt like you posted the right information but it was a mans response that got attention? Of course, it might be unrelated, but is it?

this is what i want to discuss.

i want a place for us women with spiders in our hair to get to rant of these things.

of course, let me be welcoming. Men, you can come and show your support. Lend your voice to bring us up. But this isnt a place for your to say you are being discriminated. Make a thread about it. You are welcome to laugh and agree with us. We are not here to discriminate you.

i want this thread for us women who might have something to say and have no where to say it.

lets share and be able to be ourselves.

i did not put this in the Hide because i know not everyone can afford to be a supporter.

if this thread goes nowhere then i will still sleep at night. However, i believe this tiny space is needed.

Well, I have told no girls on tinder that I keep almost 30 tarantulas because I guess that would mean they might unmatch me

 

[TheraMygale]

Thanks to everyone who joined in the conversation so far. I find it very insightful and like the discussion. Its amazing how different our experiences can be, and at the same time, similar.

i have connected with more women on this board then in real life. And i love the welcome i have received from those i share ongoing conversations with.

i look forward to more exchanges on the topic. I am glad, so far, most people are having great experiences and it says a lot.

i also know bad experiences can happen to everyone, no matter their gender.

 

[viper69]

@TheraMygalo

I always thought you were a man. How would anyone know you are a woman on here?

Now that I know you’re a woman, I can ignore your posts

In fact I know more female tarantula keepers than I do male keepers.

I thought you were a male as well.

This is interesting, and requires a deeper drill down. Do you know more women than men in general?

Over decades women have slowly increased in numbers in the exotic hobby. I wouldn't call it 50/50 yet, but the last reptile show I was at this year near a major city (that's a factor) had a lot of women compared to many years ago. There's a lot of reasons why there are more women too.

I think technically I only know one other T keeper in "real life"...and that person is also female.

Clearly, I will need to get myself to an expo at some point. In the name of social research, of course. So I can report back with more concrete data.

Absolutely.

You need to go to an expo WOW

 

[TheraMygale]

How would anyone know you are a woman on here?

For some reason i thought it said so in profile.

I always thought you were a man

Now that I know you’re a woman, I can ignore your posts

Do you know more women than men in general?

thats an important factor too. Every one lives in different demographics and all have different circles.

its not a few good experiences stated by some members that can determine the entire state of things. That would require a thorough study.

which is not what i am trying to prove.

i do like finding out about everyones different realities.

I, myself, never got to go to a invert expo specificaly. Sold out so quickly/bad timing/etc. Been to other types of expos and i always pay attention to these things because i find it fascinating.

when i go to hunting expos, for exemple: yes, there are more and more women. However, a big jump in the increase is women accompanying their partner. Inclusivity and learning. Thats not saying women arent into hunting. There are tons of them. Its just how culture is changing and opportunity.

i am a professional gardener, as well as truck driver. Even if we are a few women at my job, we are not as many as the men. And all the women here, have tough attitudes and work twice as hard. Some might not admit it publicaly, but i have asked many women in my field, and “man dominated” fields, and the majority of voices agree. Must work harder.

as for the “gardening” aspect of my work. We are more women at this moment, or pretty equal in numbers. But in the private business, its something else.

 

[viper69]

For some reason i thought it said so in profile.









thats an important factor too. Every one lives in different demographics and all have different circles.

its not a few good experiences stated by some members that can determine the entire state of things. That would require a thorough study.

which is not what i am trying to prove.

i do like finding out about everyones different realities.

I, myself, never got to go to a invert expo specificaly. Sold out so quickly/bad timing/etc. Been to other types of expos and i always pay attention to these things because i find it fascinating.

when i go to hunting expos, for exemple: yes, there are more and more women. However, a big jump in the increase is women accompanying their partner. Inclusivity and learning. Thats not saying women arent into hunting. There are tons of them. Its just how culture is changing and opportunity.

i am a professional gardener, as well as truck driver. Even if we are a few women at my job, we are not as many as the men. And all the women here, have tough attitudes and work twice as hard. Some might not admit it publicaly, but i have asked many women in my field, and “man dominated” fields, and the majority of voices agree. Must work harder.

as for the “gardening” aspect of my work. We are more women at this moment, or pretty equal in numbers. But in the private business, its something else.

A few things.

1. I don't look at the sex of posters, it's not important to me
2. Yours isn't listed I checked today due to your post. I don't think mine is either.
3. yes, it used to be that way, still is quite a bit, woman attending show due to her dude's interest. I have encountered a FEW exceptions where it's the reverse, even decades ago- that was always interesting. Yet you are right, in part it's the change in society inclusiveness etc. but it is also the power of the internet, esp YouTube, where girls can see other girls yapping away about whatever exotic they own, instead of a guy yapping away. "If she can do it, so can I" etc

 

[aprilmayjunebugs]

As a female that doesn't require a safe space, this was a fun one.

https://arachnoboards.com/threads/toxic-masculinity-run-amok.339888/

 

[Mustafa67]

Thanks to everyone who joined in the conversation so far. I find it very insightful and like the discussion. Its amazing how different our experiences can be, and at the same time, similar.

i have connected with more women on this board then in real life. And i love the welcome i have received from those i share ongoing conversations with.

i look forward to more exchanges on the topic. I am glad, so far, most people are having great experiences and it says a lot.

i also know bad experiences can happen to everyone, no matter their gender.

I know one woman who keeps Ts but I don’t like her we don’t get on because she’s an idiot lol

 

[TheraMygale]

As a female that doesn't require a safe space, this was a fun one.

https://arachnoboards.com/threads/toxic-masculinity-run-amok.339888/

I tried to read that. It was, toxic and energy sucking. The maturity level of some of the posts
Really not the kind of conversation i enjoy having

 

[viper69]

I know one woman who keeps Ts but I don’t like her we don’t get on because she’s an idiot lol

Not everyone is not an idiot.