Starting a new life with my tarantulas

[Tentacle Toast]

That friend of yours is no friend! His wife is a jerk, and so is he. Friends are forever spouses not so much.



Remind her of that too. My long term gfs were all fine with my exotics until they moved in, and the recurring question of “do you have to get another?” kept popping up

Me to them- I can get another gf as well

So be on the lookout for that crap. It’s roses now until years go by for some peeps.

She's a big C, & he was.just so happy to get her, he just folded...on EVERYTHING, but some people can't stand being alone, I guess...

You played it right by not marrying. I'm capable of being in a long-term monogamous(ish) relationship without a legally binding contract . Seems that once the papers are signed, they INSTANTLY throw it in reverse, simultaneously letting go, & piling on, it's a sight to behold. I sincerely believe NOT marrying is what's kept mine such a good woman. Looking at some of her friends, & seeing some of my friend's wives, it's insane what wretched harpies they've become, & it only costs half your worth plus lifetime payments to drop them, LoL. The ONE thing good about NY is it's NOT a common law state; if she wants to maintain her lifestyle, she has to remain mate worthy (especially since my daughter with her just turned eighteen, LoL). A very wise man once told me that "marriage turns a man with a future into a man with a past." I was WAYYY too young to get it then, but those words resonated when I started seeing friends & family start to marry off...

 

[BennyBTamachi]

Both my wife and my mum (that comes to visit us from time to time) are extremely scared of spiders, cockroaches and other insects...

They are completely fine with my small collection of Ts, even getting interested sometimes, when they can observe a T digging, eating, etc.

The thing is, there is a big difference between a spider in a box, and a spider that you suddenly find on a wall or somewhere in the house.

Key point is, from my experience, make sure you don't have any escapee (T or feeder) and there won't be any problem at all

It's even a good opportunity for your girlfriend to develop her knowledge on tarantulas, and generally more knowledge means less fear.

 

[aprilmayjunebugs]

This is too funny!

By the time she realized there was a spider, she was over the fact that there was a spider. I don't know what your situation is, but I pay for everything here, so although I respect her positions wholeheartedly, if they're irrational, I'm not going to wholeheartedly abide...

I can't relate to having an SO that's apprehensive of my spiders. My husband was a creepy crawly lover long before I was. As it stands right now, I pick, he pays. He still disagrees with me on the topic that they can't be trained and don't like human interaction, he forked out the mulah so I can't stop him from scooping them out just for fun, but so far he respects my wishes to leave them alone.

Well, she's grown attached to this geniculata's antics to the point where I "CAN'T get rid of him NOW"..LoL

She's right about that one, lol.

Congratulations @Marcostaco on your big step forward life. May it be all puppy dogs and unicorns! And tarantulas of course.

 

[Tentacle Toast]

This is too funny!



I can't relate to having an SO that's apprehensive of my spiders. My husband was a creepy crawly lover long before I was. As it stands right now, I pick, he pays. He still disagrees with me on the topic that they can't be trained and don't like human interaction, he forked out the mulah so I can't stop him from scooping them out just for fun, but so far he respects my wishes to leave them alone.



She's right about that one, lol.

Congratulations @Marcostaco on your big step forward life. May it be all puppy dogs and unicorns! And tarantulas of course.

I don't hold paying for anything over her head, but when it comes to limiting my interests...c'mon. if she had a genuine phobia, I'd probably not have gone ahead with it (or at least would have kept them in my den, or somewhere she'd be very unlikely to encounter them), but she wasn't, so I did. What's hers is hers, regardless of who made the purchase. Anyone pulling the "well I bought it" card as justification for something of someone else's loses my respect to say the least.

 

[aprilmayjunebugs]

I don't hold paying for anything over her head, but when it comes to limiting my interests...c'mon. if she had a genuine phobia, I'd probably not have gone ahead with it (or at least would have kept them in my den, or somewhere she'd be very unlikely to encounter them), but she wasn't, so I did. What's hers is hers, regardless of who made the purchase. Anyone pulling the "well I bought it" card as justification for something of someone else's loses my respect to say the least.

Thankfully it's not like that in my house either. I'm lucky to not have to work right now and I don't ask for much but I get what I want most of the time. As far as the spiders go, they're referred to as my spiders even though I don't really think of them that way. They're ours and part of our family, live in our living room as decor that everyone can admire. The stupid geckos though, they are all his, lol.

 

[Tentacle Toast]

Thankfully it's not like that in my house either. I'm lucky to not have to work right now and I don't ask for much but I get what I want most of the time. As far as the spiders go, they're referred to as my spiders even though I don't really think of them that way. They're ours and part of our family, live in our living room as decor that everyone can admire. The stupid geckos though, they are all his, lol.

...I'll pretend you didn't say that about the geckos

 

[TheHound]

She is scared enough that she freaks out of she sees a GHS (Eratigena sp) in our house, and will often make me move it (though I've gotten her to relent on this unless it's close to our bedroom) but because she loves me she was supportive of me buying my first T, and indeed of me buying more, though she's not a fan of the idea of me having dozens piled up in plastic containers - I can buy as many as I can nicely display.

Her ickiness towards my Ts has definitely melted - she now goes into the spider room and coos at them, lets me know if she spots if something is happening. Her intellectual curiosity wars with her visceral reaction, but the visceral reaction has lessened greayly over the 3 or so years I have Ts, though time and exposure, and knowledge.

 

[aprilmayjunebugs]

...I'll pretend you didn't say that about the geckos

They're seriously stupid though. Moorish geckos, his cheap impulse buy from the last expo. They're skittish af, almost never see them, can't be tamed or held, are more of a flight risk than the tarantulas, have to eat more than the tarantulas, can't digest meal worms, need extra heat and light... I'm not a fan. Cresties would be so much better.

Sorry for the derailment, @Marcostaco

 

[l4nsky]

So I'm planning to propose to my girlfriend of 8 years next year, We've been together since high school. We have been in a long distance relationship for a couple of years now. She has always been supportive of my tarantula keeping hobby and although she's extremely scared of them - she always helps me with shopping for tarantula supplies, helps me decide which tarantulas to get, etc.

I know a lot of people here have other halves that are extremely supportive of their hobby and even have their own tarantulas. I want to know about those who have partners that are scared of their tarantulas. If there is, how did living in the same house affect the way you keep tarantulas?

If it comes down to it and you have to choose the female with two legs vs the females with eight, I'll help with the import/export paperwork to send the A. mooreae group my way .

In all seriousness though, my belief is a partner should meaningfully add to your life, not subtract from it. Sounds like she's doing a lot of the former, not so much of the latter .

 

[SpookySpooder]

If it comes down to it and you have to choose the female with two legs vs the females with eight, I'll help with the import/export paperwork to send the A. mooreae group my way .

In all seriousness though, my belief is a partner should meaningfully add to your life, not subtract from it. Sounds like she's doing a lot of the former, not so much of the latter .

Way to swoop in and profit off a tragedy!

Who's to say it won't be the 2 legged female being sent off?

 

[DustyD]

Ah Marcostacos, I think your extensive tarantula husbandry skills will come into play here.

Treat your girlfriend moving in as if you are “rehousing” her.

Make sure you have a healthy environment in place before moving her in. Access to water or her beverage of choice. Space where she will feel safe and can retreat when stressed out.

Make it as smooth transition as possible. Try to eliminate any bumps. No quick movements let her go at her own pace for the most part.

I know that when a T is reluctant to get into the new home, some people use a paint brush to gently nudge its bottom to get it moving in the right direction. I will leave this last suggestion up to you.

Best of luck my friend.

 

[A guy]

Way to swoop in and profit off a tragedy!

Who's to say it won't be the 2 legged female being sent off?

If it comes down to it and you have to choose the female with two legs vs the females with eight, I'll help with the import/export paperwork to send the A. mooreae group my way .

In all seriousness though, my belief is a partner should meaningfully add to your life, not subtract from it. Sounds like she's doing a lot of the former, not so much of the latter .

Lol to be completely honest, when I went back to our home country to visit her; I told her that I would give everything up so I can stay there permanently(yes that includes the A. mooreae group lol) but she said don't. She'll just come here and we can start our lives here instead.

 

[Charliemum]

Lol to be completely honest, when I went back to our home country to visit her; I told her that I would give everything up so I can stay there permanently(yes that includes the A. mooreae group lol) but she said don't. She'll just come here and we can start our lives here instead.

First congratulations braver then I am one of my main rules is no marriage it doesn't appeal to me at all lol .
Second if she is already willing to move across the world so you can keep your spiders I don't think you'll have a problem.
Third I suggest you get her her own t something beautiful maybe in her favorite colours she can appreciate and care for, before you know it you'll have a beautiful collection of t's n live happily ever after

 

[Matt Man]

So I'm planning to propose to my girlfriend of 8 years next year, We've been together since high school. We have been in a long distance relationship for a couple of years now. She has always been supportive of my tarantula keeping hobby and although she's extremely scared of them - she always helps me with shopping for tarantula supplies, helps me decide which tarantulas to get, etc.

I know a lot of people here have other halves that are extremely supportive of their hobby and even have their own tarantulas. I want to know about those who have partners that are scared of their tarantulas. If there is, how did living in the same house affect the way you keep tarantulas?

My wife was kind of freaked by them at first but she got used to them to the point of wanting one (she got one). Sometimes in the evening one of my Pokies will be out and about in their enclosure and I'll call her in and she always comes to take a peek. So I think it is just familiarity, which is just time

 

[A guy]

My wife was kind of freaked by them at first but she got used to them to the point of wanting one (she got one). Sometimes in the evening one of my Pokies will be out and about in their enclosure and I'll call her in and she always comes to take a peek. So I think it is just familiarity, which is just time

A wife and tarantulas in a single home does sound pretty awesome

 

[spideyspinneret78]

My husband is somewhat afraid of my tarantulas but he tolerates them because he has understands that they're very important to me. He has some "different" kinds of hobbies himself, but again I accept them and show interest in them because it makes him feel loved and accepted. We're planning on getting into aquaria and possibly reptiles together once our living situation is more permanent. Communication is important. Find out what expectations are around hobbies are work together on setting boundaries if necessary. Even if one person is uninterested or nervous around spiders, it can still work!

 

[Tentacle Toast]

...We're planning on getting into aquaria and possibly reptiles together...

Get cephalopods. Trust a (possibly creepy) stranger on the internet here... nothing will bring you closer together than cephalopods.... you're welcome.

 

[l4nsky]

Get cephalopods. Trust a (possibly creepy) stranger on the internet here... nothing will bring you closer together than cephalopods.... you're welcome.

The jumping spiders of the aquarium hobby. Cute, smart, visually engaged with the world.... and dead in a year.

 

[Tentacle Toast]

The jumping spiders of the aquarium hobby. Cute, smart, visually engaged with the world.... and dead in a year.

True, but they've got a LOT of life crammed in that year (if you're lucky). You can have a subsequent generations of some cuttlefish, though...

 

[l4nsky]

Way to swoop in and profit off a tragedy!

Nah, you need to change your frame of reference lol. I wouldn't be profiting from a tragedy, I'd be offering consolment by letting them join the growout group I already have to continue the project.

The profit comes later

Who's to say it won't be the 2 legged female being sent off?

Biology