Lame spider jokes

[SPIDERBYTE]

What do you call the driving force that compels a mature male T to load up his palps, wander across scorching desert, putting off food, butt dryin up like a raisin, risk becoming spider-jam crossing the interstate, reach the female's burrow entrance, give the drum solo of his life, even when he's not sure if he'll be her date or her dinner?

------"Tarantu-LUST"

 

[Jewels0818]

why couldn't the T find her hide...

she was a blondi!

(i said this to my BF while he was watching his blondi walk around the tank, right past the entrance to her hide.... and he gave me the funniest look ever...)

 

[vegtam2003]

two red-rumps walk into a restraunt and order salads. "would you like crickets with that?", asked the waiter. "No thanks," they replied, "we're vagans"

 

[dtknow]

two red-rumps walk into a restraunt and order salads. "would you like crickets with that?", asked the waiter. "No thanks," they replied, "we're vagans"

ROFLMAO


What Brachypelma would be the best arm wrestler.

B. albiceps.

 

[tony77tony77]

What is a Tarantula favorite TV show?


The newly web game!

 

[dtknow]

What is orange and dangerous?

An OBT with a hand grenade.

 

[xhexdx]

Oh man, I can't even begin to think of any jokes, and none would be as great as the ones here, anyway!

Too bad I can only share these with like 3 people because nobody else would get any of them.

Jewels and vegtam, great jokes. I can only imagine the look your boyfriend gave you, Jewels! Hilarious!

 

[cacoseraph]

someone posted a thread titled "How do T's multiply?"

i responed...

in base 8


ehehehhe

(it's a computer science/math thing. we count in base ten. computers operate in base 2 (0's and 1's are all that comprise base 2). base 8 is basically an annoying compromise between a crapload of 0's and 1's and full human number sysems

 

[xhexdx]

Yeah, I'm a programmer. I got it. Funny!

You forgot base 16 though.

 

[IdahoBiteyThing]

more lightbulb fun

How many spiders does it take, to change a lightbulb??

One if its a LAMPropelma

. . . and how many spiders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but no one knows how they get into the light bulb!

 

[SPIDERBYTE]

Hmm, I always thought they practiced their MOULTIPLICATION tables!

 

[Pulk]

Hmm, I always thought they practiced their MOULTIPLICATION tables!

.....nice.

 

[AubZ]

Hmm, I always thought they practiced their MOULTIPLICATION tables!

And by means of that they can moultiply

 

[Darwinsdad]

Why didn't the spider go to the dance?

Because it has 4 left feet.

 

[syndicate]

How many spiders does it take, to change a lightbulb??

One if its a LAMPropelma

two red-rumps walk into a restraunt and order salads. "would you like crickets with that?", asked the waiter. "No thanks," they replied, "we're vagans"

omg so wrong lmao
but so funny haha

 

[Shell_Baby]

What's the only tarantula mentioned in the Bible?

a Psalmopoeus

 

[tin man]

what does the tarantula say to the black widow? what time is it?
get it, because theres an hour glasson the abdomen.... I know its lame, but I made it up

 

[SPIDERBYTE]

Q: Why is my spider downloading stuff on my computer?

A: Because you apparently have a "TORRENT-ULA"

 

[MVDaniel]

There once was a T from Nantucket,
Who lived in a half burried bucket,
Just stayed inside,
Never left hide,
So I bought another one......F*** it.