# Welcome To My Nightmare...



## Zevian (Jan 23, 2013)

Hello all!

 My name Is James and I have recently joined this forum, mostly because I don't know very many people who share my love of arachnids. 

 Anyhow, I have come to you guys today, simply to vent. I have no real reason to post this thread, except for the fact that I need a little sympathy(Is that pathetic?). i suppose I just need someone to share with.

 Anyhow my story begins. I am sixteen years old (I graduate in the spring) and until five months ago I lived with my mother in michigan. My mother is an environmental scientist and as far as I can remember my mother has taught me the importance of wildlife and nature in general. When I was six years old my mother bought me my first tarantula, a Grammostola rosea. I soon became infatuated with tarantulas and archnids in general and six years later I acquired my second tarantula, a G. pulchripes. From that moment on it seemed I was moving at lightning speed. I held small scale arachnid conferences at my school, I started to get into breeding T's, and I even volunteered at the local nature center (They had a small collection of tarantulas and true spiders they were not the best at caring for). I eventually was able to keep a consistant collection of exactly 30 tarantulas, 1 true spider, 3 scorpions, and 1 whip scorpion. Sadly, I am still a minor and when things got tough with my mother's financial situation I went to live with my father. I assumed everything was going to be alright. My Father and stepmother were financially stable and had excellent jobs, I could still visit my mother once a year, and even though Maryland was seven hours away, I decided it could be a fresh start. The only problem was I did not know my dad or stepmother very well and they did not know me. Because of this even though I was(am) on my last year of high school they did not trust me and not acknowledge my valid opinion as a human being.

Upon arrival I unpacked my inverts, set them up accordingly, and went about unpacking my other items. Long story short my stepmom decided she did not like my arachnids and got my father to exterminate(kill) seven of my tarantulas. I woke up, went to spray, and check for any signs of stress(from the move) and seven T's were missing. I found them curled, legs under carapace, in the freezer. These were creatures that I raised from slings( all except for two). Creatures that I truly cared about. I'm not sure about you but I felt as if these creatures were part of me since I invested a little bit of myself in their care. My father then threatened to kill the rest of my tarantulas unless I got them out of the house. So, I passed them on to new homes. All except for the G. rosea my mother got me when I was six years old. I could not bare to rid myself of her. So now I'm stick, loathing my dad for killing my T's, while keeping my Chilean rose hair in secret, even though her well being is at stake. I know this is selfish I h=just cherish her so much. I respect my dad, but at the same time can't look at him because of what he did. I only have the rest of this semester before i'm out on my own(Four months). Is it worth it? What would you do?

Thank you so much,

James

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## Ziolizard (Jan 23, 2013)

OH MY GOODNESS get out of that house! That's animal cruelty! Get emancipated and sue your father and his new wife. I would never stay with anyone who treated my pets like that.

Edit: Also, see if you can find someone in the area who is tolerant of them and ask to stay with them until you graduate or you can go back with your mom.

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## Cydaea (Jan 23, 2013)

agreed, it was not necessary to kill (murder) those T's. Did they know you had them, and would bring hem with you? if so, they should have set the rules before you got there and you would have had the chance to get them new homes.
Which is something you still could have done after moving there.

Your pets are not safe there. Your rosea is not safe there. You can find someone who can keep her for you until you can get her back.

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## Moonfall (Jan 23, 2013)

Find a temporary spot for your rose.

I have a lot of awful things to say but if someone did that to my pets, I would be in jail. 

Poor babies...that's awful. I am so sorry.

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## brotony101 (Jan 23, 2013)

Zevian, I'm speechless. Their actions are shameful. I'm very sorry you have had to experience that. Perhaps a science teacher could at least help you out until you graduate? Reality bites when we find that our father is not really a "dad." I wish I could help you.

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## JZC (Jan 23, 2013)

That is terrible. Stuff like that is what really gets under my skin. People don't respect us (the invert people) because of what we like. It is always something OMG whats wrong with you, why do you have a spider?!?!? If your dad did that to dogs, he would go to jail. This is still animal cruelty, but nobody will care because they are "just spiders." In my opinion, your dad murdered some helpless T's. I already don't respect him, no offense intended. My tarantula is a part of me, and I understand your dilemma. And they killed them behind your back, ugh. Just my rant. Maybe you should do something about your rosie. And my advice:get your dad back!

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## catfishrod69 (Jan 23, 2013)

Thats absolutely horrible. SO sorry for your losses. I guess the only thing you can do (and what i would do in the same situation), is keep that rosea in absolute hiding until you are out of there. Make completely sure to not even mention critters at all, and give them no reason to believe that you still have any. If anything maybe play some reverse psychology. Tell them that you now see it thier way. You realize that it was "wierd" to keep arachnids, and you have decided you no longer like them. If you think this will work, and not throw extra interest in you, than try it. Basically make them think that you have completely forgotten about them. You only have 4 months left. Good luck.

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## LuiziBee (Jan 23, 2013)

You do need to get your rosea out of there. I am upset just reading that. I wouldn't have been alright. At all.

Only problem is, you have to trust who takes her. I "temporarily" had to get rid of my T's. The person watching them ended up having to move & gave them to her brother. It was only five or six T's at the time, but turns out her brother knew a thing or two about tarantulas, decided he really liked them, and stole them. Wouldn't even answer the phone for his sister. Never got them back. It's been three years, now. I miss them. 
Definitely try to ask a science teacher. But be careful at school, too, because kids like to mess with things. It could be stressful for the T, too. 

That is quite the predicament. Wish I lived by there, I'd watch them for you.

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## jecraque (Jan 23, 2013)

What a terrible thing to have happen--I'm so sorry. That's such a heartbreaking story, for you, your mom, and your collection. My crazy teenaged self would have had a really hard time not hitting somebody or chucking a lamp in their general direction. Luckily you sound more stable than all that, and the area you moved to also works in your favor; the DC Metro area has an excellent hobbyist scene. I grew up on the VA side. I think there's a Feb. 16th reptile expo around my old stomping grounds in Prince William County if you are looking for like-minded individuals in your new area.

Try your local biology teacher, as brotony said. It might seem weird to just walk into someone's classroom if you've never had their class before, but we're weirdoes by default and you may find a sympathetic ear... and a safe place to harbor your G. rosea until you graduate.


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## sptheghost (Jan 23, 2013)

DAMN. that's some incredibly uncool stuff right there. btw, i currently have two g.rosea mm and a mf, which also happens to be my first spider lol and i work down in b-more around the towson area, if you desperately need someone to babysit the little girl. that's just a terrible thing to do btw , humility is not a trait which seems to be abundant in the population of the world. le sigh.

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## Cydaea (Jan 23, 2013)

JZCtarantulafan said:


> People don't respect us (the invert people) because of what we like. It is always something OMG whats wrong with you, why do you have a spider?!?!?


 I had this conversation in a pet store while buying crickets. ' You don't get anything from them, you can't pet them, you can't interact with them, you can just look at them! Me: yeah, kind of like fish. (while glancing at the fish he was buying...)

I don't understand why people see it as an inferior being, and it's life has no value.

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## SuzukiSwift (Jan 23, 2013)

Oh dude that is terrible!! You have my sympathies, I can't even imagine how you must be feeling! =( Like catfishrod said, hold out for four months and then you can start again, easier said than done I know! 

We all feel for ya man!

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## paassatt (Jan 23, 2013)

Ziolizard said:


> Get emancipated and sue your father and his new wife.


I hope you're being facetious with this, and if not, you really have no clue at all as to how the world works. Get emancipated and sue his father and stepmother? Wow...

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## web eviction (Jan 23, 2013)

This is terrible  the situation should have been handled differently! But at this point it's to late and your father has shown you a little bit of what he really is... I know it's gotta be hard but you will just have to let it go at this point and bite your tongue, and as you said you don't have long and you can free yourself from them and live your life the way you see fit  so hang in there man! Life's ruff so don't let it get you down... Sorry you had to lose all your collection

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## spiderengineer (Jan 23, 2013)

I didn't even now what to say, ultimately you have us on this forum to share you grief and pain. we will be here if you need us.

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## Ziolizard (Jan 23, 2013)

paassatt said:


> I hope you're being facetious with this, and if not, you really have no clue at all as to how the world works. Get emancipated and sue his father and stepmother? Wow...


I do know how the world works, thank you.


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## paassatt (Jan 23, 2013)

Ziolizard said:


> I do know how the world works, thank you.


Really? Care to explain how a 16 year old would find an attorney willing to represent him in court in an emancipation hearing (let alone pay for their services) when the grounds for emancipation are the fact that the father of said 16 year old killed his spiders? And can you explain how this 16 year old would again find an attorney (and pay for their services) when filing a lawsuit against his father and stepmother for killing those spiders? And would a jury find the father and stepmother to owe this 16 year old any money? It sucks that the kid lost his tarantulas, but come on...let's be real here.

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## JZC (Jan 23, 2013)

paassatt said:
			
		

> Really? Care to explain how a 16 year old would find an attorney willing to represent him in court in an emancipation hearing (let alone pay for their services) when the grounds for emancipation are the fact that the father of said 16 year old killed his spiders? And can you explain how this 16 year old would again find an attorney (and pay for their services) when filing a lawsuit against his father and stepmother for killing those spiders? And would a jury find the father and stepmother to owe this 16 year old any money? It sucks that the kid lost his tarantulas, but come on...let's be real here.


Stop being pissy. It was obviously a hyperbole.

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## DVMT (Jan 23, 2013)

What a terrible situation.  My heart goes out to you man.  Are you in Maryland now or is that where you came from?  We live not too far from MD in DE and if we can we will gladly care for your rosie til you can again.  PM me if you wanna chat.  Good luck little brother!

D

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2

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## Zevian (Jan 23, 2013)

I just wanted to thank you guys for your kind words. To tell the truth everyone I've tried to talk to about the situation simply does not seem to understand that I value my arachnids the same way someone would value a cat or dog. I still want to be involved in the hobby, but I certainly do not want to acquire any new inverts while I'm staying in this house. Luckily I have two leopard geckos, so my "parents" don't suspect me bringing crickets and dubias(not that they know dubias are roaches, they'd hate that) into my room. Anyhow, I just want to say that I appreciate all the support. Maybe we can communicate some day on a lighter note. 

James

---------- Post added 01-23-2013 at 08:46 PM ----------

Yes, I do live in MD (North of DC) though I'm kind of keeping my rose hair for selfish reasons, I admit that. Since my mother gave it to me I feel Like I have a sentimental connection with it and I can't seem to let her go.

Thank you!
James

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## jdl (Jan 23, 2013)

There is no easy answer to this, so I am not going to try.  Just know that you have our (the people replying to your thread) sympathies and share your grief.  I am so sorry this happened to you.


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## Moonfall (Jan 23, 2013)

I've been seething all night...and even though I've posted here already I just want to say again how sorry I am.

It's so sad.. literally am crying about the poor things imagining them in a freezer, dying cold and alone.. I don't know how anyone could do that to a living thing, or to their child.

-hugs-

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## awesome17 (Jan 23, 2013)

I am so sorry, I really don't know what to say, I just wanted say I'm so terribly sorry, and I totally, hands down respect you for not doing something totally irrational in that situation, I would have done something not good if was in your shoes. again, I'm really sorry.

Cameron

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## Formerphobe (Jan 23, 2013)

First off, I am so sorry for your senseless and needless loss.
As both parent and step-parent, I am absolutely speechless in horror and disgust...  
I fear for the life of your G. rosea should she be discovered when you are out of the house.
I live about an hour south of Baltimore, and also gladly offer to pet sit your rosea until you are able to keep her with you safely again.  I definitely understand the sentimental attachment.

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## concrete (Jan 23, 2013)

As much as I'm disappointed by your loss, I'm even more disturbed by the fact that a father would do this to his flesh and blood. I know that in his eyes they are just spiders, but even the most dimwitted person could figure out that they obviously carry emotional significance to you. That your own father could not figure this out, and that he put priorities of a woman ahead of his child tells you a lot about what kind of a man he is and what to expect of him. Consider it a painful lesson.

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## Niffarious (Jan 24, 2013)

Concrete, that's what got me as well. Even more: that these individuals are supposed to be there to provide for and protect the OP, who has already had enough emotional trauma....

OP, he will always be your father. But respect is to be earned, and that man deserves your caution. But not your respect. What respectful man murders their child's pets (and trust) on the whim of someone who doesn't like said animals (regardless of what those animals are)?

I hope you can find a solution for your precious rose hair. Good luck in the next few months - I hope after you leave things will look up.

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## Myrtaceae (Jan 24, 2013)

That really, really sucks OP.

Look, I understand why you want to keep the _rosea_, but a parent with so little regard for your personal space is probably also the type of parent to do random "room inspections" while you are away looking for drugs or alcohol or porn or whatever. I would not bet on anything in your room being private, and I especially wouldn't bet on the life of a spider you care about so much. I bet if you post on this forum you can find someone willing to babysit for you, some have already offered-- _roseas_ are common enough that no one would have a reason to steal her. 

I'm really sorry though. Trust me, being an adult is significantly more awesome than being a teenager. You *will* get through this, and you *will* have an apartment/house someday with all the spiders you can fit.

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## AngryMothNoises (Jan 24, 2013)

I would report it to some one. (I am spacing on the word). I am very sorry for you and your Ts.

May be, try to sit down with them and tell them how you feel and teach them about Tarantulas and why they mean so much to you. And if they think Owning Spiders and Scorps is crazy and stupid, then you tell them about how many people have these animals, the things we have learned in terms of responsibly and such. 

(also, if it helps.. I am a 16 year old girl)

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## alpine (Jan 24, 2013)

I am so sorry for your losses  To have someone so callous about the lives of your pets is absolutely disgusting to me. To know that someone was willing to kill innocent animals for no good reason is absolutely deplorable. I am so sorry for your losses and I hope that you can find a solution at some point, even if that means moving out and getting away from that terrible situation. I am truly sorry.


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## Zevian (Jan 24, 2013)

Yeah, that aspect really gets to me. It's so demented how arachnids are taken for granted. They are so amazing yet people seem to believe they are just creepy crawlies. My dad didn't stop to admire the beauty of poecilotheria metallica. He didn't stop to acknowledge the beauty of Brachypelma klaasi. People just don't think. It truly hurts. Thank you for the support.

James.

---------- Post added 01-24-2013 at 04:53 AM ----------

I feel as if it's a little to late for that. Though I suppose it's worth a shot. I've been playing it over in my head, trying to see a way I could bring this up with both my dad and my stepmother. The thing is it's just extremely difficult for me to talk to my dad...About anything. He wasn't around very much, so we never formed the "parent/son" bond and He never trusted me and allowed me to develop that with him(I suppose I no longer trust him either). At this point I'm at a loss of how to properly communicate with him. Maybe I'm just refusing to. Ah, I'm not sure. Thank you for the advice though!

James

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## Cydaea (Jan 24, 2013)

"Son, your stepmother and I need you to get rid of your tarantulas, as she doesn't want them in the house because [reason]. You have [amount of time] to get them out of the house"

That is the correct way to go about this.



I am so, so lucky I'm supported by my family in this hobby, although not everyone loves them as I do. I've certainly taught them to admire and respect spiders, and not to deny them their place in the world. Most people I know haven't squished a spider on purpose since they've known me, and I'm proud of that.

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## sugarsandz (Jan 24, 2013)

I am so so so sorry for what happened to you and your tarantulas. There is NO excuse for killing someones animals big or small, my mom makes jokes about killing my spiders and I react in a not so funny way every time. It's sad that some people don't value life in all of its shapes and it's also sad that people don't treat each other with respect. I think both things happened in your case and I'm sorry it was family who did this. I don't know how you grew up but if you can't talk to your father and step mother like family then talk to them like anyone else (respectfully still of course, even though I know how hard that can be). I hope you keep your rosea safe by all means as parents can snoop around your stuff and if they find your rosea it might not end well for it sadly. I'm glad you love your inverts just like any other animal and again I'm so sorry for your losses and situation.

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## Silberrücken (Jan 24, 2013)

*Zevian: I too am so sorry for your lost pets. 

Here is an idea: Tell your father and his wife that you want them to see something.

Open this thread up to the very beginning, and tell them to read from beginning to end. Hopefully they will see that you have a heart that feels, hurts, and mourns for the loss of your pets. 

If they don't learn anything from reading this thread, and if they don't want to talk about it with you....

bide your time until you can move out/relocate. When that happens, I would not look back.

As for your precious Rosie that was given to you as a gift from your mom: I can vouch for Formerphobe and her offer to care for your rosie. 

Good luck, Zevian... my heart goes out to you. *

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## brotony101 (Jan 24, 2013)

RozenMaidenGirl said:


> I would report it to some one. (I am spacing on the word).


I think this warrants a talk with your Guidance Councilor at school. They may want to talk to your parents after this. I do believe you need an advocate; someone who is an adult who may (even if unheeded) voice the wrong that they did on your behalf.

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## Trial (Jan 24, 2013)

That is just so horrible, I can't imagine how you feel right now. I agree with a lot of people in this thread that you should let someone look after your rosea until you can move out just in case they find it. I wish I could say something comforting but there really isn't anything anyone could say that would make this right. And I would probably get banned for using the words I want too describe your father!

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## DVMT (Jan 24, 2013)

Silberrücken said:


> *Zevian: I too am so sorry for your lost pets.
> 
> Here is an idea: Tell your father and his wife that you want them to see something.
> 
> ...



+1 ON THIS.  I say let them read it.

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## netr (Jan 24, 2013)

You may add my deepest sympathies to those of the others here. The lack of respect afforded your interests is completely reprehensible and abhorrent. For a stranger to behave in such a way is grotesque, and for a father to do so is greatly more upsetting. As others have mentioned, it's irrelevant what your father or step-mother (or anybody in this kind of scenario) feels about invertebrates. There's no imperative to like the creatures; it's enough to have the honesty to acknowledge that hobby is actually innocuous, and as a bonus actually take delight in perceiving the pleasure and investment of somebody else's enthusiasm. I hate that some people are willing to reject this. By all means be ignorant, but unethical too? 
I'm sorry you've had to endure this, anyway, and wish you the very best in getting through these four months. And I hope your G. rosea stays safe. Fearing the worst, I'd seriously consider finding a temporary home for her.

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## Wadew (Jan 24, 2013)

Zevian,
I would like to say I am sure over time your dad will have some awakening as to what he has done.
. What you need to do is try to communicate to him your interest in nature and allow him to see your love of arachnids, having not had much time with him or your step-mom maybe they are unaware how much the spiders mean to you. When you get the chance you need to talk to either your dad or step-mom about how this has made you feel. Without open lines of communication it makes it all much harder in the long run. This is something you really need to address if you want to establish yourself in your new location. If it makes it any easier you could ask your guidance counsel at school to assist you in presenting this to the rest of the house. You might want to ask your MOM for advice on the matter as well. I hope it all works out. I hope you have some understanding knowing that they are truly unaware of what they have done. 

                                                                -Wade

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## Tarac (Jan 24, 2013)

Formerphobe said:


> First off, I am so sorry for your senseless and needless loss.
> As both parent and step-parent, I am absolutely speechless in horror and disgust...
> I fear for the life of your G. rosea should she be discovered when you are out of the house.
> I live about an hour south of Baltimore, and also gladly offer to pet sit your rosea until you are able to keep her with you safely again.  I definitely understand the sentimental attachment.


Firstly, HUGE condolences.  That is a big violation of your relationship in so many ways.  I can understand how that complicates the interactions between you two.

Second, I think that losing your rosie to the same fate would probably have even greater ramifications because it is apparent from the way you speak about it that it also is a symbol of your relationship with your mother.  Your dad may just view them as spiders and his new wife may be terribly phobic or think it is weird or whatever, but you don't want that to grow into some kind of feeling that they are trying to erase your connection to your mother too by destroying a treasured pet she acquired and nurtured with you.

Third- what Former suggested is a great compromise.  You may not live with your rosie for a few months, but it would preserve her and potentially the relationship with your father after things calm down.  I would absolutely trust my spiders to Former, a well reputed member here who is more than capable of caring for one more spider.  You might even make a great new contact to field your questions and such, someone closer to where you are.  It's the safest thing for your emotions and your spider IMO.  I would hope if something altered in my life and I had to find a temporary hide for my spiders that I could find someone as gracious to watch them for me.  

Best of luck and welcome to the boards even though the circumstances which have brought you here are not ideal.

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## McGuiverstein (Jan 24, 2013)

My sincerest apologies that this happened to you dude. And absolutely not, in any way, does it make you pathetic that you came on here to talk about this. In fact, you've come to probably one of the best places to get it off your chest. I want to give you some serious respect for not reacting how I would have if I was in your situation. I'm not sure what would have come first, strings of explitives, or fists, but I'm pretty certain neither would be in short supply. The fact that your father would do something like this is repulsive and unforgiveable. Especially to his own son on behalf of his prissy rhymes-with-witch of a wife. Makes me sick. But try and keep your head up man. Only four months left. But I do agree with others who have said you need to find a temporary home for your rosie. I know you'll hate not having her around for a little while, but it's not long enough that you should risk losing her for good. I wish you the best dude.

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## Greenjewls (Jan 24, 2013)

I would have raided their room, trashed all their sex toys, threw them out on the lawn and told them to stop sinning and that remarriage is an abomination unto God.  But I was an evil kid in HS.


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## captmarga (Jan 24, 2013)

OP - while I am a parent, I would never dream of killing an animal or destroying my child's property.  Let them know it was being removed, given away, sold off, etc YES, but destruction, no.  He's taken your properly (expensive stuff) and destroyed it... which can be a parental right. 

My question is, since you are NOT an emancipated minor, where does custody lie?  Did you just go on your own, when custody was with mom, or did they have joint?  Does the court know you have moved?  These are important questions you need to look into. 

Take someone up on the offer to get your remaining T out of there, and also see what housing alternative you have. 

Good luck, 

Marga

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## TheFrankus (Jan 24, 2013)

*My first post here too.*

Hi Everyone,
This is my first post in these forums too.
Im a 39 year old man and this post made me weep.
As a parent (as im sure a lot of you are) and a lover of T's i am shocked that someone could do this to their child. My children are 9 and nearly 7 and they love and care for our collection as they are part of the family. Im not going to give you advice as you said originally it was a rant and you seem like a very switched on young man. But i do agree with one thing i have read on here which was to show your dad and his wife this thread to make them see what they have done. I think as a father it would be like a bolt of lightning to hear that his child is distressed. Whether he heeds anything from it is another story (which i really would like a happy ending to). I wish you all the best.

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## grayzone (Jan 24, 2013)

James,

Im sorry for what you had to/have been going through, and i sympathize.
Unfortunately, you ARE a minor, and you ARE living in your dad/step moms house. Their rules have to fly. What he did was totally unappropriate and cruel, true, but it goes to show how closed minded he is.
I definitely think that it would be wrong for you to continue hiding your rosie behind his back, after he already expressed his feelings on the subject. The fate of your cherished rosie will surely be the same or worse, should your dad find out youve been going behind his back and coveting the banned t in your room somewhere... i would not risk it with a t youve loved for years.
You said your mom bought it for you @ age 6 (if i remember correctly) so that obviously means SOME knowledge has rubbed off on her in this past decade.

I see one simple solution in this equation... ship the rosie back to your mothers care (if at all possible) until you can make "permanent" living  arrangements in which you can keep ts freely. That t would be loved and cared for by your mom.

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## Zevian (Jan 24, 2013)

I am relieved to tell you all that I have talked to my mother and she will be driving down to visit me in two weeks. She'll be able to take my G. rosea back with her. That's the good news. After my mother and I talked, she suggested that I talk to my dad and tell him exactly what is going on in regards to my rose hair and her being able to care for it for the time being. The only thing is my father does not like feeling powerless, and I believe by telling him this he would seem "outsmarted" and do something irrational any ways. At the same time, if I can convince him that I care about this T, it'll be out of the house shortly, and that I just want to do well in school and get going everything will turn out alright. What do you guys think? Any better way to approach this? 

I believe everything will work out for the better. I don't think I'll be able to forgive my dad anytime soon, but if he learns that I'm a human with valid opinions and have a right to be treated as such we can move forward.

I just wanted to thank you all. Your advice, thoughts, sympathy etc was(and still is) all appreciated. Also to FormerPhobe, I almost took you up on your offer I just had to confirm that my mother could take my G. rosea. I Appreciate it.

Again thank you.

James

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## TheFrankus (Jan 24, 2013)

So glad for you, your situation and your Rosie. I also thank you for restoring my faith in teenagers. You have a very wise and very articulate head on your shoulders. If you are ever in the UK let me know, i would happily show you around. Go steady James.

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## Niffarious (Jan 24, 2013)

James, would any of the biology teachers at your school accept it as a 'class pet' for two weeks?


I'd also like to second that you may find seeing a counsellor to be quite helpful. I went through some horrible issues with my folks, and the counsellor at my University helped me to cope, deal with them and salvage the relationship.

While I agree that seeing this thread may be a wake up call, I think at the very least wait until the rosie is safe...and maybe until you've spoken with a counsellor if possible.

Reactions: Like 2


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## Moonfall (Jan 24, 2013)

Thank goodness your mom is taking your rosie for a while..

This thread just still breaks my heart, I just can't wrap my brain around it.


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## Anonymity82 (Jan 24, 2013)

I have to ask, not sure if this was already explained or not, did your dad and step mom know you were bringing these? Did anyone think to ask them if it was okay?


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## Tman86 (Jan 24, 2013)

I have no human kids but I do have 8 T's that are like my babies and for someone to kill them intentionally, especially my father, I would'nt be a happy camper to put it nicely. Im sorry for your losses and hopefully your dad will realize in time that the way he went about it was very wrong. And I too believe you should show him this thread to enlighten him on how T's can be loved.


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## Formerphobe (Jan 24, 2013)

Zevian said:


> I am relieved to tell you all that I have talked to my mother and she will be driving down to visit me in two weeks. She'll be able to take my G. rosea back with her. That's the good news. After my mother and I talked, she suggested that I talk to my dad and tell him exactly what is going on in regards to my rose hair and her being able to care for it for the time being. The only thing is my father does not like feeling powerless, and I believe by telling him this he would seem "outsmarted" and do something irrational any ways. At the same time, if I can convince him that I care about this T, it'll be out of the house shortly, and that I just want to do well in school and get going everything will turn out alright. What do you guys think? Any better way to approach this?
> 
> I believe everything will work out for the better. I don't think I'll be able to forgive my dad anytime soon, but if he learns that I'm a human with valid opinions and have a right to be treated as such we can move forward.
> 
> ...


You sound like you have a level head on your shoulders.  I'm so glad your mom will be able to keep your rosea for you, that way she will still be with family     Good luck working things out with your dad.  If it should turn out that you need emergency temporary housing for your T, give a holler.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Zevian (Jan 24, 2013)

njnolan1 said:


> I have to ask, not sure if this was already explained or not, did your dad and step mom know you were bringing these? Did anyone think to ask them if it was okay?


Before traveling to live with my father and stepmother, I notified my dad that I kept tarantulas. He nonchalantly stated that that it was alright with him. My stepmother was not informed about the situation(Partially my own fault). I believe that was the root of my troubles.

James


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## spiderengineer (Jan 24, 2013)

Zevian said:


> Before traveling to live with my father and stepmother, I notified my dad that I kept tarantulas. He nonchalantly stated that that it was alright with him. My stepmother was not informed about the situation(Partially my own fault). I believe that was the root of my troubles.
> 
> James


that doesn't absolve your father of his action. He ok it and any one would assume that he would have told his wife about. the main thing however was instead of telling you that they needed to go. he callously killed them acting like it was no big deal. even though he was fully aware that they were your pets and he ok them in the first place. thats like getting a dog for you kid and then deciding it was a mistake and then gets rid of it while the kids at school (I actually knows somebody who did this)

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## Alltheworld601 (Jan 24, 2013)

I like the idea of the science teacher.  Do you have a teacher at your school who might even like a tarantula as a class pet?  I mean I know you're a senior in high school but it still might be a good idea to ask, and explain the situation.  I bet any environmental science or biology teacher at your school would dig that idea.  Then your rose will be safe and you can see her every day!


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## Anonymity82 (Jan 24, 2013)

Zevian said:


> Before traveling to live with my father and stepmother, I notified my dad that I kept tarantulas. He nonchalantly stated that that it was alright with him. My stepmother was not informed about the situation(Partially my own fault). I believe that was the root of my troubles.
> 
> James


Sorry to hear about this. Sounds like your dad should have said something. But the fact he killed them when he found out is really screwed up. You sound intelligent and level headed so I'm sure you have a nice plan. Personally, I'd leave boogers on their toothbrushes, forks and knives, any specified food items etc... Then I would hold a lifetime grudge and eventually destroy something he cares about, not living, like a card collection, something from his childhood. But I'm immature and extremely vengeful so I do not advise doing this


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## Alltheworld601 (Jan 24, 2013)

oh sorry, my mistake that I didn't read you already found a safe place for her.  Well, I'm glad for you.  Sorry to hear about the rest of it.  Its horrible and I would lose it if anybody did that to any of my pets whether it be a dog or a spider.  There is no difference.  You take something into your home and care for it and clean up after it and feed it....its a pet.  You put love into it.  I just can't even imagine.  I'm gonna hug my kitty (cuz I can't hug my Ts) extra hard tonight.  Maybe give my A. waconum a little lovin, cuz she enjoys it.

Hang in there.  I wouldn't forgive the two of them..and that sucks, cuz that's your dad.  It sounds like he has some issues though...I'm impressed that you can still have any respect for him after this.  I really am.  It takes a strong, understanding person to respect somebody even after they rob you like that.  At least you can take solace in the fact that they were euthanized in a humane fashion, anyway.  Best of luck to you.


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## SuzukiSwift (Jan 24, 2013)

I know I've already posted here but I want to post again to tell you how much respect I have for you James! If something like this happened to me I wouldve gone OFF THE CHAIN, but you've kept a clear head and haven't done anything irrational, and you've been respectful.

You're an inspiration to us all!

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## AngryMothNoises (Jan 24, 2013)

Zevian said:


> Before traveling to live with my father and stepmother, I notified my dad that I kept tarantulas. He nonchalantly stated that that it was alright with him. My stepmother was not informed about the situation(Partially my own fault). I believe that was the root of my troubles.
> 
> James


Tell your dad that he had all ready approved of you having Tarantulas. And that him wanting you to get rid of them goes agianst what he said.


I would go off the wire if this happened to me. I would tell my dad that he not putting his own flesh and blood first is irresponsible. And I would put tarantula molts in their beds, and on their blankets when sleeping. (don't listen to me)

Or, get a lock for your door? Like, a key lock? (plus locking all the cages too)


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## Moonfall (Jan 24, 2013)

If it happened to me I would go to jail for what I would do. But I'm nuts.

Locking cages would be a good plan for anyone else in this situation. My mother is this way and I would lock any cage of any animal who was around her, I wouldn't even trust her with my little dog and she loves dogs. (so she says...she feeds my other dog, who she stole, crap food and the poor old girl is obese. The chi is healthy and needs to stay that way.)


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## Zevian (Jan 24, 2013)

RozenMaidenGirl said:


> Tell your dad that he had all ready approved of you having Tarantulas. And that him wanting you to get rid of them goes agianst what he said.
> 
> 
> I would go off the wire if this happened to me. I would tell my dad that he not putting his own flesh and blood first is irresponsible. And I would put tarantula molts in their beds, and on their blankets when sleeping. (don't listen to me)
> ...


Actually, I did keep my Slings in a micro-climate which had a lock installed on it(Because my mother tutored children part of the week and I had to be safe). When I moved to my father's I assumed the lock was unnecessary. I was wrong. The vials/deli cups were small compared to my larger T enclosures. My best guess is that my dad chose them because he could easily grab them. I don't know. I wouldn't dare lock my door. Then my parents would have reason to be suspicious. They'd probably assume the worst.

Thanks for the suggestion though!

James


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## nick22 (Jan 24, 2013)

Wow James this has to be the saddest thread ive ever read on here and sorry for your huge loss.  Hope everything works its self out in the end and you can start your collection back up.

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## Bast (Jan 25, 2013)

First, I just want to say I am so sorry for your losses    What a horrible thing for you and your spiders to have to go through!

As a mother, I cannot fathom doing something so emotionally destructive to my child (or cruel to a living creature)!  I could never just disregard my son's feelings and/or interests the way yours have been.  If a similar situation occurred with me, and there was no way I could deal with having a particular pet in the house, I would have allowed time to find the animals new homes...never would I kill them because I didn't like them or understand them.  However, the way I raise my son, there isn't much I wouldn't let my son keep or try to understand if my son was truly interested (and responsible) in keeping an animal.  I try to let my son expand/enjoy his interests, not hold him back.

My mind boggles at the way the whole situation went down.

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## alpine (Jan 25, 2013)

I had a similar incident with my mother. It was with cats rather than Ts but one day I came home from school and she had gotten rid of them without mentioning it to me or my brother, she just did it and to add on top of it all the only thing she said to me was, "I didn't want to tell you and ruin your day, but I got rid of the cats." It makes me cry to this day to think that she could do something like that, it was 7 years ago and I still don't have it in me to forgive her, not for the act of giving them away, she didn't want us to have them, fine, but the callous way in which she did it has poisoned our relationship since and these days she is questioning why I do not enjoy her presence and she doesn't seem to grasp the fact that she hurt both me and my little brother by doing this thing... I guess my point is that regardless of what you do your dad may never grasp the true enormity of the situation but at the very least you can make your feelings for him and her known.

I think you should hand the T off to formerphobe for the time being until your mother can come and pick her up from you. And after your little sweetheart is safely out of the house you should THEN express your disgust with your father and his wife. Not before, because if you do it before she is gone, it might make him question whether or not you still have her which would make him search for her and possibly even kill her and I am POSITIVE that you do not want that. After she is safely away then feel free to argue with him about this foolishness and this callous killing of your pets that never did anything to him or his girlfriend. Regardless of what his girlfriend did not want it is HIS house not hers and they had no right to do this in such a way... I also agree that you should go and speak with a councilor at your school about what happened as sometimes it is the issue with adults that they will not listen to a child but when someone speaks in your place they are more likely to pay attention regardless of whether or not he has "lost power" or whatever drivel he thinks will make him happy. Did you explain the full situation to your mother? Perhaps she will be able to help you there?

I truly liken this to the killing of innocent puppies or dogs... It disgusts me in every fiber of my being and he should be ashamed of himself for doing something like this to innocent animals. It makes me cry just considering it and I cannot even imagine the pain you must have felt.


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## Cydaea (Jan 25, 2013)

Bast said:


> As a mother, I cannot fathom doing something so emotionally destructive to my child (or cruel to a living creature)!


I am not a mother, but I can't fathom it either.

Even if the dad had allowed the spiders before, as the adult/parent in the house he gets to change the rules. Regardless of what kind of pet it is, a hamster, a tarantula, a parakeet or a dog,  if the dad changed his mind for whatever reason (stepmom) he can demand the animal is removed from the house. It still wouldn't be cool, but that's how it works. But as the adult in the situation, he should be mature about it, and realize there is a person involved who has real feelings and attachment to these animals. He should have had the sensitivity to say, get them to a new home, give them away, I don't care how you do it but I want them out of the house. What he did was, "I don't get how people would get attached to these animals, I sure wouldn't therefore nobody else would, therefore killing them won't be a problem".

I remember when I was a child, a classmate (who I didn't even get along with) came up to me and begged me to take her hamster. Her dad had threatened to kill it because he had decided he didn't like it anymore. She knew I had several hamsters already (all adopted from friends and classmates), so she figured I'd take good care of it. After school I walked with her to her house and got the hamster and brought it home with me. Didn't even ask my mom for permission, but I knew she would be okay with it (she's a sucker for animals in need). My classmate's dad at least gave her the time (however limited) to find someone else to take the hamster. The hamster turned out to be one of the sweetest hamsters I ever had, and I think I had it for another 2 years. I shudder to think what would have happened to the little guy had she not asked me to take it...


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## jigalojey (Jan 25, 2013)

Your dad is a loser and doesn't respect your opinion as a legitimate human being. As soon as the 4 months is up i would leave as quick as i came. There is a reason your parents are no longer together and i have no doubt in my mind it's because of him, when you leave i would most likely never speak to such an animal again and with good reason.


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## stewstew8282 (Jan 25, 2013)

After reading this thread, I can't tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your T's. I would have done some pretty messed up things to my dad & step mom had it been me. Unfortunately I have no relationship with my mom/step dad because of the way that my mom has treated me. I would love to still have a relationship with my step dad, but he drinks the koolaid and defends her to the end. So I can fathom why your dad did what he did, but it absolutely does NOT make it ok, not in the least bit. It was 100% his fault for what he did, and if your step mom had a problem with the T's, you should have had time to find new homes for them. And to think, they are not ok with T's, but ok with geckos? Jebus H what the hell is wrong with them? I wish you all the best and the fastest next four months in history.

Best
-Stew

Maybe after you are all settled and out of their house, we can all chip in and help you replace the little buggers. IF i read correctly, one was a p metallica? Not a cheap T for a 16 old to try to replace.

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## Zevian (Jan 25, 2013)

stewstew8282 said:


> After reading this thread, I can't tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your T's. I would have done some pretty messed up things to my dad & step mom had it been me. Unfortunately I have no relationship with my mom/step dad because of the way that my mom has treated me. I would love to still have a relationship with my step dad, but he drinks the koolaid and defends her to the end. So I can fathom why your dad did what he did, but it absolutely does NOT make it ok, not in the least bit. It was 100% his fault for what he did, and if your step mom had a problem with the T's, you should have had time to find new homes for them. And to think, they are not ok with T's, but ok with geckos? Jebus H what the hell is wrong with them? I wish you all the best and the fastest next four months in history.
> 
> Best
> -Stew
> ...


 Even when times are difficult, I attempt to make a strenuous effort to see the good in people. By doing this, it actually relaxes me and I'm able to prevent myself from acting on impulse or doing anything rash. Trust me, I sat and just contemplated how I could get back at my father. though I came to realize that fighting fire with fire just makes a bigger fire. Which is why I'm just falling back, treating my dad in a polite but brisk manner, and continuing my schooling. 

By the way thank you so much for the offer, but it is against my own personal views to take anything from anyone. It isn't your fault that my T's were killed, though I do appreciate the kind gestures. I just wouldn't feel right. 

Thank you,

James

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## Tarac (Jan 25, 2013)

That's great, kudos to your mom for sure.  I really hope everything works out between you and your family and that one day soon we will be calling you a fellow arachnoholic!  Keep us posted.

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## DVMT (Jan 25, 2013)

Zevian said:


> Even when times are difficult, I attempt to make a strenuous effort to see the good in people. By doing this, it actually relaxes me and I'm able to prevent myself from acting on impulse or doing anything rash. Trust me, I sat and just contemplated how I could get back at my father. though I came to realize that fighting fire with fire just makes a bigger fire. Which is why I'm just falling back, treating my dad in a polite but brisk manner, and continuing my schooling.
> 
> By the way thank you so much for the offer, but it is against my own personal views to take anything from anyone. It isn't your fault that my T's were killed, though I do appreciate the kind gestures. I just wouldn't feel right.
> 
> ...


I'm with Stew.  And I think it would make us all feel good to chip in and throw you some new T's. James, by allowing us to donate you would fortify the unity we all share on these boards.  We are a community bound together by the common love of invertibrates and I would be proud to give a T as well as I'm sure many on here would.  Don't see it as taking something from someone so much as to seeing it as a group of people doing some good in this world and attempting to right this so wrong situation.  So, do it for all of us James.  I think we all feel your pain and would all like to see the damage diminished with a handful of kind gestures.

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## poisoned (Jan 25, 2013)

Zevian said:


> By the way thank you so much for the offer, but it is against my own personal views to take anything from anyone. It isn't your fault that my T's were killed, though I do appreciate the kind gestures. I just wouldn't feel right.
> 
> Thank you,
> 
> James


I think many of us would happily chip in a sling or some bucks (I'm from Europe, it's not easy to send slings overseas) and it's nothing to be ashamed off.

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## Wadew (Jan 25, 2013)

It sounds like you are going in the right direction with this. I hope all goes well for you.


                                                     Sincerely Wade

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## Meezerkoko (Jan 25, 2013)

Let me start as many on this post have and say how sorry I am for your loss.

The thing that gets me the most is the fact that your father doesn't even know you, yet before he could even try to establish any kind of relationship with you he was willing to throw it down the drain on the whim of his wife.  I really abhore adults who completely ignore the opinions and thoughts of others based on nothing more than age.  I too have fallen victim to this (though not the animal loss) and it can be one of the most frustrating things to feel like your thoughts and feelings are so invalidated due to age.  You certainly sound like a much more mature and reasonable man (and I don't say that lightly because most 16 year olds are just boys) than your father and its a really a representation of  how great your mom is to have raised you to be such a mature young adult and wise beyond your years.  I really hope that you can move back to her area after your 4 months are up.  In the mean time try to make some new friends in your area and in the hobby.

Also I understand that your value system means that taking from others is wrong but in a similar way, not allowing some of the people here to send you T's to help with your plight is not exactly right either.  Everyone has gone through some trauma in their life and the act of giving you some new family members to love may be cathartic to both them and you.

Good luck with what seems like a very intolerant and cold father and I do truly hope your situation improves.

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## Shrike (Jan 25, 2013)

Zevian said:


> Even when times are difficult, I attempt to make a strenuous effort to see the good in people. By doing this, it actually relaxes me and I'm able to prevent myself from acting on impulse or doing anything rash. Trust me, I sat and just contemplated how I could get back at my father. though I came to realize that fighting fire with fire just makes a bigger fire. Which is why I'm just falling back, treating my dad in a polite but brisk manner, and continuing my schooling.
> 
> By the way thank you so much for the offer, but it is against my own personal views to take anything from anyone. It isn't your fault that my T's were killed, though I do appreciate the kind gestures. I just wouldn't feel right.
> 
> ...


No need to feel guilty about freebies!  Trust me, they're an established aspect of the hobby.  There are some very cool, generous folks on AB.  For my part, I'd be happy to send you a sling when things settle down.  

I'm sorry you got put in this predicament but I'm glad things are starting to work out.  Maybe I missed this, but what's your next step post graduation?

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## McGuiverstein (Jan 25, 2013)

njnolan1 said:


> Sorry to hear about this. Sounds like your dad should have said something. But the fact he killed them when he found out is really screwed up. You sound intelligent and level headed so I'm sure you have a nice plan. Personally, I'd leave boogers on their toothbrushes, forks and knives, any specified food items etc... Then I would hold a lifetime grudge and eventually destroy something he cares about, not living, like a card collection, something from his childhood. But I'm immature and extremely vengeful so I do not advise doing this


I like the way you think . Except that's a lot of boogers. I would advise taking up a collection at school haha X)

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## Zevian (Jan 25, 2013)

Shrike said:


> No need to feel guilty about freebies!  Trust me, they're an established aspect of the hobby.  There are some very cool, generous folks on AB.  For my part, I'd be happy to send you a sling when things settle down.
> 
> I'm sorry you got put in this predicament but I'm glad things are starting to work out.  Maybe I missed this, but what's your next step post graduation?


 Haha, well thank you! I must say that there are so many wonderful and supportive people on this forum who have been so kind by helping me through this ordeal the last couple of days. 
Thanks to all of you. I apologize if I thank you guys to much. I feel as if you all deserve it. I had literally no one to talk to about this  (Besides my mother of course) and it has been beneficial to me to be able to talk to someone.

After I graduate, I will most likely move back to Michigan and decide what I'll do from there. I am still undecided about what I will do. I kind of want to do the old cliché "Travel about the world" before I go to college. Perhaps do some volunteering. Who knows. I'm considering Venezuela or Columbia.

James

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## AngryMothNoises (Jan 25, 2013)

DamonVikki said:


> I'm with Stew.  And I think it would make us all feel good to chip in and throw you some new T's. James, by allowing us to donate you would fortify the unity we all share on these boards.  We are a community bound together by the common love of invertibrates and I would be proud to give a T as well as I'm sure many on here would.  Don't see it as taking something from someone so much as to seeing it as a group of people doing some good in this world and attempting to right this so wrong situation.  So, do it for all of us James.  I think we all feel your pain and would all like to see the damage diminished with a handful of kind gestures.


This, this this this! I would be totally willing to save up and buy you a new tarantula. Shipping and all, once your ready to have the spiders again.


(and if by then I start breeding pink toes, I would totally give you some slings!)


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## Moonfall (Jan 25, 2013)

I would chip some money in also. Not a lot, I don't have a lot.. but I want to help too.


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## JZC (Jan 26, 2013)

Hey, just wanna say, I would chip in a few bucks for a fellow arachnoholic in need


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## Zevian (Jan 26, 2013)

Well thanks guys! Though it might be a while till I settle in, and I don't want anyone anyone to feel obligated to do anything. I have a job as well (I'm a guitar technician) so I'm not in desperate need of help. It's all extremely kind of you but it's not necessary. I don't think I'd feel very comfortable about taking your T's in this situation. 

Thank you,
James


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## Palespider (Jan 26, 2013)

This is a difficult hobby at times. Having a passion for something the average person says "OMG, ewww... spiders!" when they see them, makes it very different from keeping other pets. The ignorance towards our beloved animals, just never seems to fade. This was just the worst possible outcome, and that really sucks... If only you had time to educate his wife, and show her how non-threatening they were, maybe this could have all been avoided... My ex was the typical girl, scared to death of spiders. But, after educating her about them, and seeing how delicate and harmless they are, she was insisting on taking care of them, she called them "the babies". She even bought her own G. rosea 

Education is what's needed. The average person will at least not be afraid of them anymore, if not find them a bit interesting.

Like others have said, you seem like a very mature young man for your age, and you handled this better than most of us on here would have. Not much advice I could give that others haven't said already. Wish you the best with your future bugs! =)


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## KJMinniti (Jan 26, 2013)

Zevian, I think you made a GREAT choice to come on here and vent.  It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.  You do need to move you G. rosea out of the house, though.  Make a friend or talk to the biology teacher and get someone to foster her for the next several months, with the understanding that you will come visit and/or care for her on a regular basis. Wait until you are not only out, but have a job and a place of your own to live. Then get your baby back into your house and move on with your life.    In the meantime, serious sympathy here, and tears or behalf of your poor babies.:cry:

Oops, I didn't realize I hadn't read the entire thread before responding.  I'm glad your mom is coming to visit and will take your baby home with her.  I seriously think that the nature of your father's action has roots in your step-mother's insecurity about his ex.  Your mom gave you/set up your love of spiders - so they have to go.  Your father already left your mom for her, so it's not a big step for him to destroy things that remind both of them of your mom.  He's probably not even thinking - at all, much less about how you feel....

Bide your time, get on with your life, and, after you're done touring the world, get more Ts!:biggrin:


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## Meezerkoko (Jan 27, 2013)

Well Zevian if you do decide to let people donate some T's to you I've already talked to Kelly Swift of Swifts Inverts and he said that if people put together an order he'd throw in some extra freebies to help the cause.  

Like I suggested before, giving to you will help others to feel good too.  Nothing you should feel bad about with that.  And it's not that people are necessarily wanting to donate because you don't have the money to replace your collection but more so to help to fill the hole that the loss of your precious babies has created.  I know that we're all strangers here but when something like that happens to someone who's in the hobby we take care of our own.  

Just consider it a gift and try to entertain the idea of letting people give you a few new babies to help with you loss.

Anyways that's the end of my little post.  Have a nice day and I hope that the months fly by for you.

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## Meezerkoko (Jan 28, 2013)

By the way, even if you decide not to accept any donated slings, if you purchased from Swifts and said who you were he'd likely still throw in the few extra.  Just sayin'

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## Zevian (Jan 28, 2013)

Meezerkoko said:


> Well Zevian if you do decide to let people donate some T's to you I've already talked to Kelly Swift of Swifts Inverts and he said that if people put together an order he'd throw in some extra freebies to help the cause.
> 
> Like I suggested before, giving to you will help others to feel good too.  Nothing you should feel bad about with that.  And it's not that people are necessarily wanting to donate because you don't have the money to replace your collection but more so to help to fill the hole that the loss of your precious babies has created.  I know that we're all strangers here but when something like that happens to someone who's in the hobby we take care of our own.
> 
> ...


Well thank you very much. After you put it that way, I may take you up on the offer one of these days (After I get out of this place and settled of course). Now that I think of it I'd want to do the same for anyone else. c:

Much thanks,

James

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## DVMT (Jan 28, 2013)

Zevian said:


> Well thank you very much. After you put it that way, I may take you up on the offer one of these days (After I get out of this place and settled of course). Now that I think of it I'd want to do the same for anyone else. c:
> 
> Much thanks,
> 
> James


See James, you'd do the same for one of us and that, my friend, is the point.

D

Reactions: Like 1


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## Meezerkoko (Jan 28, 2013)

Yay!!!!!!  Good I'm happy.  And I'm happy I thought to ask Kelly.  He was so wonderful with customer service when I recently bought a few T's from him and so I thought since he has the same enthusiasm for the hobby as us that he might want to help.  

Well now we just need to set up a donations page.


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## alpine (Jan 29, 2013)

I would absolutely contribute to you getting some new slings. I may not have much but darn it if I wouldn't help you any way I could! Hang in there through this and you will be a better person for it.


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## ZergFront (Jan 31, 2013)

I don't find it the least bit pathetic. Sometimes it is gradifying to find a sypathetic ear. Sure, it doesn't bring the pets back, but it feels kind of good to vent. Frankly I wouldn't respect your dad either to be blunt.

 I'd definately find the rosie a temporary home if you haven't already just to be cautious. I'm sure a teacher or maybe a non-squeamish friend can care for her until you get on your own. I would help if I was closer. My family has been pretty supportive of me even breeding spiders. 

 Best to you and your spider.


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## stewstew8282 (Nov 23, 2013)

wonder how james is doing.. hope all is well.


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## NGLepine (Nov 24, 2013)

I couldn't bear reading everything here. However, as a parent.. I understand their plight! Sadly enough, unless you're living on your own, or pay rent and have an agreement... You're kinda at their mercy.. Happy wife, happy life says the man.

I was never aowed ANYTHING, when I lived with my folks.

Now 33, 4 kids, 25 T's, 1 scorpion, 4 snakes...
And i don't live with my folks... Part of growing up!!


Certainly you do have my condolences!!!!!!!!!


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## Keith B (Nov 24, 2013)

I'm 31 years old, and my father is a bit of a butthead but has been in my life since I was little. Even so, if my father ever did something like that to my animals, back then or now or whenever, I would never trust him ever again, and I'd move ASAP and never look back.  I wouldn't even trust him to wait for your mom to take the T, but that's just me. Once an animal killing sociopath, always an animal killing sociopath.  His wife matters to him, not you (sorry if that sounds terrible but parents aren't always saints these days), and all he's worried about is what benefits him.  Happy wife, happy life I guess.  That's why I say sociopath.  The focus seems to be on himself, and consequences to actions are an afterthought.  Your plight is heartbreaking, your fathers actions absolutely disgust me, and I respect your self-control, cause I'd totally LOSE IT if my long-term pets were treated in such a way.  I certainly hope you get to move elsewhere soon, cause after this trauma you deserve lots of tarantulas, and it's awful that you have to come home and look that man in the face even ONE more day.

Reactions: Like 2


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## LordWaffle (Nov 25, 2013)

This is an awful story.  I realize it was written 10 months ago, how have things shaped up since then?  Are you out of that house or are you still there?


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## Driller64 (Nov 25, 2013)

Jesus. I'm glad my dad isn't like that. If someone did that to my Ts, they'd probably need to go to the ER shortly after I found out. 

Sent from my SGH-T589 using Tapatalk 2

Reactions: Like 1


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## Will240393 (Nov 25, 2013)

This was written months ago but i hope you are doing well and that you are out that situation.

Lord knows what i'd do if that happened to me but i know it wouldn't be pretty.


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## Keith B (Nov 25, 2013)

Driller64 said:


> Jesus. I'm glad my dad isn't like that. If someone did that to my Ts, they'd probably need to go to the ER shortly after I found out.
> 
> Sent from my SGH-T589 using Tapatalk 2


Ditto.  I'd have beaten the **** out of my dad.  Hopefully you're out of there.  I know with your age getting out in 4 months like you stated isn't always as easily done as it is said.


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## Whirligig (Nov 27, 2013)

Oh my god I'm so sorry  Those poor creatures. What a horrid thing for someone to do. I mean talking to you about it is one thing, killing your animals is an entirely different story. I can't imagine the terrible heartbreak you must have felt finding your pets in that condition. Four months isn't very long, hang in there! Best try to find somewhere for your rose hair. The last thing you want is for her to meet the same fate


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