# How do I convince my parents?



## Arashi Takamine (Nov 23, 2011)

Okay...People who started keeping T's in their teens how did you convince your parents/legal guardian to let you get a T?


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## morg59jeep (Nov 23, 2011)

Tell them you want to be a arachnoid biologist when you grow up. Show genuine interest.  Then ask them first if you can have a scorpion with significantly strong venom and one of those giant centipedes.  Make the T be the compromise. Most parents would take the compromise.  My mother hates snakes so I came home with a friends snake and asked her if I could keep it.  Green light on getting a T.. it was easy.


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## Arashi Takamine (Nov 23, 2011)

I did tell my parents I was on here and studying Tarantula's..I got the interest and even the funds to care for my sling and I'll try that method. Or...My mom hates rats so maybe ask for a rat, the T is the comprimise?


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## ArachnidJackson (Nov 23, 2011)

I just did it. I started with like 2 and acted like it was no big deal. They both warmed up to it and the mother seemed to grow more and more into it. She regularly visits the room and asks tons of Q's. I now have 40+


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## Arashi Takamine (Nov 23, 2011)

Unfortunatly my parents would murder me if I brought home a new pet without permission...So I'm gonna wait and try to see if I can get a T as my sixteenth birthday gift.


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## ArachnidJackson (Nov 23, 2011)

Arashi Takamine said:


> parents would murder me.


 I would definitely wait! Haha!


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## Arashi Takamine (Nov 23, 2011)

XD Well maybe not murder....Ground my sorry arse and make me return the T.

I'm planning on pulling the 'can I have a (insert pet parents absolutely hate.)' be it birds, rabbits, or rats they hate them with a passion manuever and saying the T is a comprimise and that I will take care of it.


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## Kungfujoe (Nov 23, 2011)

Spending money on ts is better then drugs haha tell them that...


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## ArachnidJackson (Nov 23, 2011)

If you live in US, I will send you free t. However, you must provide the shipping.
Do not inquire of my random kindness, it just happens sometimes.

---------- Post added 11-23-2011 at 12:37 AM ----------




Kungfujoe said:


> Spending money on ts is better then drugs haha tell them that...


For some people it is worse! hahaha! A t addiction can be very bad sometimes - LOL

Reactions: Like 1


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## Kungfujoe (Nov 23, 2011)

Wow this is a great gesture I'm glad there are such kind people in this hobby.. 





ArachnidJackson said:


> If you live in US, I will send you free t. However, you must provide the shipping.
> Do not inquire of my random kindness, it just happens sometimes.
> 
> ---------- Post added 11-23-2011 at 12:37 AM ----------
> ...


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## Arashi Takamine (Nov 23, 2011)

*Thank you...*

It is a really generous offer but I must refuse I really do appriciate the offer though. I really do want to bring a T-home soon but I'm just..Not ready. I wouldn't feel right without the consent of both my folks and my dad is really overprotective. 

I really do appriciate it though and thank you again.


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## ArachnidJackson (Nov 23, 2011)

I have had a few free t's come my way. I can only continue the gesture 
To name a few: 
Haplopelma lividum (Cobalt blue) 
Ephebopus cyanognathus (Blue fang)
Brachypelma vagans (Mexican redrump)

Nothing like a freebie without having to make any purchase at all.


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## Arashi Takamine (Nov 23, 2011)

Wow...That really is generous thank you...I'll talk to my folks. How old are they?  The B. vagans sounds really tempting. (I'd have to bide my time so after Thanksgiving would be the best time to ask....Especially after both my folks have full stomachs their much easier to convince.) 

I may use slightly different wording since my dad's more acceptable to buy rather then given. (I have no clue since he has no problem flashing our last name all over the net in his usernames. He's weird.)


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## ArachnidJackson (Nov 23, 2011)

Arashi Takamine said:


> I'm just..Not ready. I wouldn't feel right without the consent of both my folks and my dad is really overprotective.
> 
> I really do appriciate it though and thank you again.


I understand completely 

---------- Post added 11-23-2011 at 01:10 AM ----------




Arashi Takamine said:


> How old are they?  The B. vagans sounds really tempting.


 Few months. tiny little itsy bitsy slings


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## Arashi Takamine (Nov 23, 2011)

Aww they sound adorable...I really do want to accept your offer. I'll talk to my folks after Thanksgiving before it gets too cold.

Reactions: Like 1


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## smoothie4l (Nov 23, 2011)

How are you grades? Try to impress them, if you can prove your responsibility they can learn to trust you and reword you . Just stay persistent but try not to annoy them.


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## Grin (Nov 23, 2011)

Do some research and present it on paper, T's are as easy to keep as a fish. Well actually T's are easier (my opinion) they don't stink, food is cheap and it's not like you have to feed them everyday, don't need much attention and the enclosures rarely need to be cleaned.
When they get big you have a live part of nature displayed in your room. it's peaceful to look at.


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## Ultum4Spiderz (Nov 23, 2011)

looks like you got a lot of convincing to do...=/ scorpions can be deadly... cirtain species Ts.. harmless.. just big fangs ! old worlders have potent venom just hurts more
Economically the cheapest pet to care for lol..


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## Arashi Takamine (Nov 23, 2011)

I tried this morning...My dad told me: "Enough about the spiders." Just five minutes ago as I was shooting off what I knew and my mom said she was worried if I wanted one as a pet.

I said yes...They said no. I'm gonna try again when I turn sixteen so unfortunatly...I can't accept the sling. But apparently they're worried it'll get loose.

Ah well try, try again I suppose I gotta pick a better time.


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## xhexdx (Nov 23, 2011)

Being honest and showing genuine interest is the way to go.  Learn as much as you can and then tell them everything you learned.  Don't be deceitful, don't be manipulative.  It's their home and their rules, and you should respect that.  If they won't allow it, wait until you move out.


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## grayzone (Nov 23, 2011)

+1 x.   since were all talking about being honest and responsible i think we shouldn't sway a minor to MANIPULATE their parents. i believe your approach is the best so far, and the right way to go EVEN IF I WOULDNT HAVE LIKED HEARING IT when i was that age


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## Arashi Takamine (Nov 23, 2011)

Thanks...I'll continue to research and if push comes to shove I'll buy one when I turn eighteen and with my own money.


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## Mekster (Nov 24, 2011)

If they're worried that it'll get loose, try telling them where will you place your spiders and show them your plan in case it will happen. make sure the place will be isolated and contained so the will not be worried.


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## Thobby1982 (Nov 24, 2011)

Arashi Takamine said:


> It is a really generous offer but I must refuse I really do appriciate the offer though. I really do want to bring a T-home soon but I'm just..Not ready. I wouldn't feel right without the consent of both my folks and my dad is really overprotective.
> 
> I really do appriciate it though and thank you again.


You should take arachnidjackson up on his offer and when your parents say wtf just tell them it was free and you couldn't refuse


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## a3overlord (Nov 24, 2011)

xhexdx said:


> Being honest and showing genuine interest is the way to go.  Learn as much as you can and then tell them everything you learned.  Don't be deceitful, don't be manipulative.  It's their home and their rules, and you should respect that.  If they won't allow it, wait until you move out.


True....kinda

Remember it is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.  My wife would have said "hell no!" if I had asked her 1st, but I just brought home a Juvie Avic and 4 1/2" LPs one day, she got to see that they were easy to keep, didn't stink, and weren't likely to escape.  She still doesn't want anything to do with them but she is used to me having them


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## hassman789 (Nov 24, 2011)

With my parents it was really just my mom I had to convince. I brought it up just by saying. not to immediatly block it out but give me a chance. Then over the coarse of a month I gave her the facts and misconceptions. About how little work they require, so responsibility isn't an issue. And how their venom is like a bee sting. Most of all how it will just look like a tank sitting in the corner of the room. Eventually I got her to come around. And now she will watch them feed (not without screaming), but she has completely changed! I really hope your parents understand. And this may seem spoiled, but just don't give up (not in an annoying way). Good luck!

---------- Post added 11-24-2011 at 11:20 AM ----------




a3overlord said:


> True....kinda
> 
> Remember it is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.  My wife would have said "hell no!" if I had asked her 1st, but I just brought home a Juvie Avic and 4 1/2" LPs one day, she got to see that they were easy to keep, didn't stink, and weren't likely to escape.  She still doesn't want anything to do with them but she is used to me having them


Well if it's your wife I am assuming you are sharing a house. It's a little different when you bring something into your parents house without permission, when they have housed and fed you for no cost and it is THEIR house. Doesn't seem fair to them to bring something they don't approve of in...


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## pavel (Nov 24, 2011)

I'd have to agree with Joe ... parents' house, parents' rules.  So educate, educate, educate.  Have you had any pets before for which the care was _your _responsibility?  If so, and if it went well, remind your folks of that as that shows you can be responsible.  If you haven't then it behooves you to do your research demonstrating not only your serious interest but also to prepare yourself to address their questions and concerns.  If you foresee "danger" being at the top of their concerns, focus your attention (and theirs) on some of the more docile but attractive NW T's.  Make sure you can demonstrate that you have given adequate consideration to providing an escape proof enclosure as well as providing for the animal's needs.


  ​


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## Arashi Takamine (Nov 24, 2011)

Thank you...You guys all have great tips and advice but given they just told me no yesterday I'm gonna wait awhile since Holiday pressure is on with shopping, shopping and more shopping plus I got a sick betta fish who needs attention more then a pet I don't even have yet does. So..Yeah. I'm gonna wait until I'm sixteen and then prepose it again and ask them to give me a chance to prove how easy T care is. Which since I turn Sixteen in February but am having a joint sweet sixteen with my BFF in Janurary...Plenty of time.


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## deltakiloworks (Nov 24, 2011)

Hummm…being a parent myself, just try to convince them on what you are getting yourself into, show how responsible you are and how trustworthy you are with other things that you do. Parents are only human you know, I doubt if they would rob you of your happiness, majority if not all parents would like to see their children happy. Just a little convincing will work wonders, you don’t have to manipulate them, that would just hurt them if they learn the truth. They are there just to see your well being, but showing them what is in your heart and you good intentions. 

(if not Jedi mind tricks)… ‘These aren't the droids you're looking for.’  Lolz


DK


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## le-thomas (Nov 24, 2011)

When the time comes again to talk to them about it, make it just that. Not asking, just discussing. Let them know why you think it could be a good idea and address their problems with it and you're sure to at least get somewhere with the conversation. They might never want to talk about it, but that can be dealt with. Don't ever try to decieve them, as others have said, and, most of all, let them know that you're passionate about the subject. Show them pictures, tell them the benefits, but be honest about the downsides. Don't give up and I'm sure they'll cave. 
Best of luck.


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## junosama (Nov 24, 2011)

Show them you have done your research. They are not really dangerous, at least not most of them. Also tell them how you will secure the tank so they won't get out. Every parent just fears finding a tarantula on their face when they wake up that's all.


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## aquaArachnid (Nov 24, 2011)

I wanted to get a ball python, mom said no so my dad suggested getting an EMP. been doing it since 11


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## Arashi Takamine (Dec 9, 2011)

Well...Sorry to bring up a dead thread but my parents gave me their final answer why: It's not that they don't want a T in the house it's that we have this thing that repell's bugs and they think if I got a T it would be effected...Would it?


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## Vilurum (Dec 9, 2011)

Lol? ^ What type of "Repel" are they saying they are using?


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## Comatose (Dec 9, 2011)

When I was five or six I asked for a pet tarantula... after much back and forth my mother compromised with me - I could have one when I turned nine. Obviously that seemed like forever away, and my mother was counting on it, but it burned into my brain, and on my 9th birthday I demanded my tarantula. She leveled with me in a way most parents wouldn't - 'I thought you would forget, I'm sorry, but you aren't getting a tarantula'. A year or so later she compromised with some millipedes. 

Fast forward to 13. It's around this time that all the awkward stuff starts, teen angst kicks in, and the desire to disobey goes full throttle. One visit to Debby's Pet Land later and I had a B. albopsilum living in my dresser drawer (inside a rubbermaid, of course). Mom eventually found out, and though it was alsways an object of tension, she gave up and my collection ballooned to hundreds by I was 16 or 17. Moral of the story for parents (since I'm about to be one myself) - don't create big red buttons for your kids to push when they become awful little teenagers. 

The above is just a story, and not advice for OP - my advice is this - remind your mom that there are lots of awful things for teens to get into, sex, drugs, rock and roll, even politics... in the grand scheme of things this hobby will enrich your mind and won't get a girl pregnant, give you aids, damage your hearing or turn you into a soulless monster that steals my tax money and... uh, never mind that last part. 

Oh, and setting a goal never hurts either - _"If I get an A+ on the mid-term can I get a tarantula?_

Good luck!!


Edit: Eek - I foolishly neglected to read the 'repel' statement... my points above may be moot


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## Necromion (Dec 9, 2011)

Define repels bugs. does it atually act as a repellent or is it a poison? Also if you could get the name of the product that would help also.


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## Arashi Takamine (Dec 9, 2011)

I got no clue what this repel is called. It's a plug that goes into the wall has these little slits on it like on a speaker and has a blue screen. It's been in the house since we moved in. I have no clue what the heck it's called.

I figure they say it repels insects...Well T's are Arachnids.

I'm gonna try a few more times but if my parents keep saying no then..I'm gonna pull the comprimise card. They're getting used to my BJD collection well if they won't accept one T a pet instead of another doll to take up space I'll tell them that instead of a T they can buy me a 300 some doll instead.

Let's see if their tune changes then. The doll is either the catylst or the comprimise. I really do want a T but if I have to wait until I get my own place or until I'm older that's fine.


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## Vilurum (Dec 9, 2011)

Try this, get a tank and get it all set up and put a rubber tarantula in it (keep the tank in a hard to see place but still in view) if they complain mention how you have had it x days and you didnt even notice, and it didnt escape, smell make any noise, harmless etc

If they flip explain to them its a rubber toy and say how u wanted to practice getting the tank set up to show you are keen.

If they are like ok just swap it lool


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## Arashi Takamine (Dec 10, 2011)

Heh I like the cut of your jib Vilurum. Buuut...Parents just spilled the beans after an X-mas gift. This is my chance to get something I really want for X-mas.

(Unfortunatly I think it's a death sentence right now if I tried to get a T in this weather. It's so cold at night no one wants to leave their rooms...I'm not sure how tolerant T's are to the cold (STILL researching) But I know my betta's can't stand anything below 78. I know totally different species but with all the species..I'm not sure.)

But I recieved a lot of tips around the net about tarantula's and I know I want one just...Not sure. I kinda still shiver looking at pics of molts. Not sure if I can handle seeing it myself.


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## TMRKD (Dec 10, 2011)

Ask for an alligator or a caiman.


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## birchwhisker (Dec 10, 2011)

I'm having the same issue.. I just cannot convince my parents! I'm looking into getting a B. smithi or a G. pulchra.... Anyway, all they do is flat-out say no. I get good grades (90% average), I have done my research into owning a tarantula. I am trying to pick up on doing chores for my parents, that way they don't say "You're not responsible blah blah blah".

My mom is the worst for this, though. I'll just mention "tarantula" and she ignores me.. The only time when she didn't ignore me was when I mentioned that I saw a article in the paper about a man in Switzerland transporting 260 B. smithi tarantulas in plastic bags... All the other times, she just walks away.... She won't even hear me out. I try, but it doesn't seem to work. I really don't want to wait until I move out to own one... Chances are, I'll be moving out when I'm much older, so it makes schooling easier.

Any tips on how to convince an arachnophobe mother?

EDIT: And yes, I've used the "I could be buying drugs instead" method, but she just isn't buying..


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## Camden (Dec 10, 2011)

I'm not a T kinda person, but I recently got into the bug hobby, My first invert was a millipede, just prove to them that you know what you're doing, you've done your research etc.
Heres another thing a friend of mine told me, ask your parents, would they rather you have Ts, or an addiction to cocaine? Haha good luck buddy.


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## Emmymilan (Dec 10, 2011)

I order from an online dealer and then, told my mom I just couldn't send them back. Bought them with my own money too so, she really had no say. She adores them now.


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## Vilurum (Dec 10, 2011)

No dont do that ^

some parents banish the T to the outside no matter the conditions


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## birchwhisker (Dec 10, 2011)

I'm having a hard time convincing my parents. I've wanted a tarantula since I was young. I bring up the word "tarantula" with my mother, and she just ignores me and walks away. Any advice on how to convince (who I consider to be) an arachnophobe? She has told me wait until I move out, but I may be moving out later into my university studies, because of money or what not.... so in other words, I'd have to wait 10 or less years. :\ I've done my research, I have good grades (90% average), I'm trying to make myself seem more responsible around the house. I have told her how simple they are to care for, and how I can easily get enclosures with locks on them... I've even told her there's a million spiders living _loose_ in the house right now... She hasn't budged a single bit.

I was planning on getting a B. smiti or a G. pulchra, since I've read that they're both excellent starters. I would get a G. rosea, but to be honest, they don't look nearly as awesome... I'm willing to spend a little more money on my first tarantula, in case I don't really want to get into the hobby. Of course that might sound silly because if for what ever reason I do something wrong, I would have wasted all that money, but if it's the only one I'll ever own, I don't see why not.


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## Earth Tiger (Dec 10, 2011)

*I have a different view...*



Arashi Takamine said:


> I got no clue what this repel is called. It's a plug that goes into the wall has these little slits on it like on a speaker and has a blue screen. It's been in the house since we moved in. I have no clue what the heck it's called.
> 
> I figure they say it repels insects...Well T's are Arachnids.
> 
> ...


Sorry I guess you have to wait until you move out. Many electric insect repellers affect tarantulas too:
such as this one...

*NOT recommended if you own: hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, minks, chinchillas, tarantulas, and other similar pets.
*

I have seen many cases in this forum that the owners lost their tarantulas because their gardeners and servants spraying pesticides around their houses. Before you proceed to convince your parents further, I suggest you do more research on tarantula care and most importantly identify potential hazards to your arachnid friends. I kept spiders since I was 3 and I have never commited these careless mistakes - none of my spiders lost to pesticide that my parents sprayed regularly although it was a joint guest for my parents and techers to exterminated all my wild caught spiders. I was living in a society with a very different culture and no one in my region would keep spiders. The pesticides used when I was young had near permenant lasting effects and more piosionius than modern day pesticides too.

However deadly it may seem, a tarantula is still a delicate bug that dies easily like a cockroach in your house if you don't care for it properly. A ground dwelling T may die if it falls, and an arboreal T may die if its tank gets too damp. Remember most tarantulas are not coming from your garden and they strive only if you can provide them suitable environments close to their native ranges. 

Please spend some time to prepare yourself for a pet tarantula, and you will be greatly rewarded. You were not observant enough to identify that insect repeller and it was your parents who identified this potential threat for you. And although your parents did so you were not curious and responsible enough to find out if it would harm your T. If I were you I would call the manufacturer and read the specs to find out its effective range. So I guess your parents are right now, a T isn't suitable for you now. 

Sorry if my post make you unhappy, but tarantulas are not some Pokemons from Cerulean city. 

And how did I convince my parents? I could never convince my parents although I always came first in class. I still remembered my parents dumped my novels and books like Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park when I had the orientation camp for my university because dinosaur and spider lovers are considered weird in my society. But that's the last time my patents controlled my life. I took my wasp nests and spiders with me to the camp and thus my parents could not exterminate them at my absence. After I moved out I started to collect tarantulas and scorpions of different sorts, and these critters have already been 10 years in my possession. I never found them boring.


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## Tann (Dec 10, 2011)

Earth Tiger said:


> Please spend some time to prepare yourself for a pet tarantula, and you will be greatly rewarded. You were not observant enough to identify that insect repeller and it was your parents who identified this potential threat for you. And although your parents did so you were not curious and responsible enough to find out if it would harm your T. If I were you I would call the manufacturer and read the specs to find out its effective range. So I guess your parents are right now, a T isn't suitable for you now.
> 
> Sorry if my post make you unhappy, but tarantulas are not some Pokemons from Cerulean city.


I think this post was highly unnecessary. You ignored the last post by the OP, and, from what I can tell you didn't read most of this thread.

The OP has been researching from what I can tell, and you directly insulted them for no reason.

Instead of blatantly calling someone you don't know unobservant, uneducated, and irresponsible why don't you offer some support and point out particularly helpful threads or other sources of information that they can look into?


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## Earth Tiger (Dec 10, 2011)

Tann said:


> I think this post was highly unnecessary. You ignored the last post by the OP, and, from what I can tell you didn't read most of this thread.
> 
> The OP has been researching from what I can tell, and you directly insulted them for no reason.
> 
> Instead of blatantly calling someone you don't know unobservant, uneducated, and irresponsible why don't you offer some support and point out particularly helpful threads or other sources of information that they can look into?


I am not some Mr. Nice you would expect from this forum. I read all the posts in this thread and it would not hurt for me to give some opposite opinions. You guys have pitched enough ways to help her convince her parents but none take the repeller issue seriously. If one could not identify potential hazards in his home to his pet and just rush to get one, I will recommend him to research more before making the impulse purchase.


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## Tann (Dec 10, 2011)

Earth Tiger said:


> I am not some Mr. Nice you would expect from this forum. I read all the posts in this thread and it would not hurt for me to give some opposite opinions. You guys have pitched enough ways to help her convince her parents but none take the repeller issue seriously. If one could not identify potential hazards in his home to his pet and just rush to get one, I will recommend him to research more before making the impulse purchase.


There's a difference between being nice, and being helpful. As of right now you're doing neither in my opinion. Again, you haven't really taken the time to actually read about the OP, as they have been at least trying to do some research prior to getting this T. Coming to these very boards are a testament to that.

I don't have a problem with someone offering opposing views as to the general consensus, but do so with actual reasoning, not merely that you peaked into a thread and noticed that someone couldn't recognize a miscellaneous wall-plugin as a potential hazard, even though they actually asked if it would be a problem and presented it to more experienced keepers prior to you even replying.


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## Earth Tiger (Dec 10, 2011)

Tann said:


> There's a difference between being nice, and being helpful. As of right now you're doing neither in my opinion. Again, you haven't really taken the time to actually read about the OP, as they have been at least trying to do some research prior to getting this T. Coming to these very boards are a testament to that.
> 
> I don't have a problem with someone offering opposing views as to the general consensus, but do so with actual reasoning, not merely that you peaked into a thread and noticed that someone couldn't recognize a miscellaneous wall-plugin as a potential hazard, even though they actually asked if it would be a problem and presented it to more experienced keepers prior to you even replying.


Speaking of being helpful I think my contribution to the whole community of this hobby far exceeded most members you came across here. We not only brought some of the most fascinating new inverts to this hobby that many of you are keeping now and we also sold them to famed breeders and scientists for $1 or less or even for free to establish their popularity - omnivorous communal red headed centipedes, communal swimming scorps, to name a few. 

Anyway it is my temperament to be bad - I am certainly no Chilean rose. Treat me like an OBT if you like.


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## Sage (Dec 10, 2011)

My mom wouldn't let me keep anything with more or less than 4 legs, and rodents were an absolute no-go.  I understand your situation.  First, you should do some research and see whether or not the repel would hurt a t.  If all is good to go I would then recommend giving it a few days and continue to be respectful and do as much to help out around the house as possible.  (Which it seems you already are.)  Then calmly sit them down and tell them you want to have a mature conversation.

Point out you work hard in school, don't get into any trouble and you want a unique pet to call your own.  Tarantulas are not noisy, they do not smell, and once they are happy in their enclosures they typically do not try to escape (and even if the little guy feels adventurous they do not have the strength to lift the lid off of a delicup or critter keeper).  The starter species your looking into would much rather run away from you when frigtened than bite.  Also, with crickets, you're looking into a pet that costs under $3 to feed a month.  Explain that the uniqueness of the animal fascinates you and to raise it from a little thing to a fullgrown t would be a satisfying, educational experience.  Did I mention you wouldn't even to have to buy another container for it for a few months?

It would be by far the most inexpensive pet you could possibly own.  As for maintaining humidity and temp, there are plenty of cheap alternatives to keeping your new pet happy and comfortable.

If you have any questions, I'm no professional but I'd be willing to help in any way I can.  Good luck!


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## Arashi Takamine (Dec 10, 2011)

Concerning the above conversations I didnt know what that thing was! It's hidden under the kitchen table and yet we still get spiders huge wolf spiders coming into the house, gigantic moths and other insects. Hell we had to deal with giant crickets for weeks this summer and the screen recently went dark.

I'm not sure if that particular repeller is still working or not it's been in the house of my uncle whom gave it to my parents and it promptly turned dark after awhile.

It has no label we do not have a package for it I didn't even know we had it until I asked my parents to list one reason for me not to get a tarantula. I've been researching and researching and I had not interest in getting a spider of any kind I actually came here to get rid of my arachnophobia and since then well...T's became really interesting and I want one but...I'm not even sure if I'M ready myself. I don't appriciate not being taken seriously and being thought of as some child when I'm almost sixteen years old. I own betta fish and if you ever owned fish you'd know so much happens in their little lives that sometimes it's as stressful as let's say dealing with an annoying kid all day long. 

Everyone thank you for your advice, tips, opinions and in one case harsh critique. I'm still interested in owning a T but really...It's hard to look at certian species without cringing still. I'm not completely over my fear yet and molting pictures send shivers up my spine so...I still got a lot to go before I can even welcome a small spider willingly into the home.

Also: Please stop refering to me as a him I am a she.

Reactions: Like 1


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## NickC4 (Dec 11, 2011)

Ahhh finally, someone who firmly makes their point but is still nice about it.


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## Earth Tiger (Dec 11, 2011)

Arashi Takamine said:


> Concerning the above conversations I didnt know what that thing was! It's hidden under the kitchen table and yet we still get spiders huge wolf spiders coming into the house, gigantic moths and other insects. Hell we had to deal with giant crickets for weeks this summer and the screen recently went dark.
> 
> I'm not sure if that particular repeller is still working or not it's been in the house of my uncle whom gave it to my parents and it promptly turned dark after awhile.
> 
> ...


So now you're talking. Before your last post no one knew your situations and your true intention. If you had made clearer on your situations you wouldn't have wasted people efforts to give you suggestions that cannot be applied to your real situations. If you want to be taken seriously it is your responsibilities to tell us your situations in details. And so, *your true intention to keep a tarantula is to overcome arachnophobia. *

First please don't take some of my words personal, I referred "he" and "him" to any person in general who makes an impulse purchase on arachnids. Now everyday or so I see posts here like "I bathed my OBT to death", "My Emperor scorp stopped responding. I have been toying with it for the last few days and it was just fine, why?" Sure the OBT bathing thread seems to be started by a troll poster, but 8 or 9 years ago these death arachnid reports due to mishandling happened only once every few months. Now it happens almost everyday. More and more people are getting into this hobby and this seems good, but it also appears that more hobbyists were just making impulse purchases, which worry me very much. And I treated you as some chidue because you didn't give me an impression that you were ready to keep one. 

So, to overcome your arachnophobia, instead of keeping a T, are you living in the countryside? Familiarity promotes liking, psychology 101. Instead of jumping into keeping a T as a pet that you are probably not ready for, I suggest you organize some field trips to learn more about wild spiders in your region with your parents. This is not only a great chance to educate your parents and also a great starting point for you to overcome your arachnophobia. When time is ready and you no longer fear spiders that much, propose to your parents that you want to keep a T and unleash everything other members taught you. It is important to see the real thing 1st and any research online is only secondary. 

And regarding the repeller, since you said it's no longer working it's a good chance to propose replacing it with something else that won't hurt arachnids. It's so simple. In fact many of your questions and concerns are in fact non-issues, and as an adult you can certainly solve these so called "problems" yourself before learning to keep a T - you will probably face more real practical problems in keeping a T in the future but people here certainly will be of great help by then.


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## le-thomas (Dec 11, 2011)

Earth Tiger said:


> Speaking of being helpful I think my contribution to the whole community of this hobby far exceeded most members you came across here. We not only brought some of the most fascinating new inverts to this hobby that many of you are keeping now and we also sold them to famed breeders and scientists for $1 or less or even for free to establish their popularity - omnivorous communal red headed centipedes, communal swimming scorps, to name a few.
> 
> Anyway it is my temperament to be bad - I am certainly no Chilean rose. Treat me like an OBT if you like.


Kinda off topic, but you take yourself too seriously. I'm sure you've made a lot of contributions to the hobby, but control yourself. You're going to scare her out of the hobby at this rate, and just because someone doesn't treat tarantula-keeping as the most important and delicate process on the planet doesn't mean that you have to tear them down.


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## Earth Tiger (Dec 11, 2011)

le-thomas said:


> Kinda off topic, but you take yourself too seriously. I'm sure you've made a lot of contributions to the hobby, but control yourself. You're going to scare her out of the hobby at this rate, and just because someone doesn't treat tarantula-keeping as the most important and delicate process on the planet doesn't mean that you have to tear them down.


Okay fair enough, sorry about that. My last post has some useful suggestions to her though. Familarity promotes liking, some field trips to the nearby woodlands etc should help to fight her arachnophobia. If she is not living close to the countryside, frequent visits to arachnid pet stores also help.


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## le-thomas (Dec 11, 2011)

Earth Tiger said:


> Okay fair enough, sorry about that. My last post has some useful suggestions to her though. Familarity promotes liking, some field trips to the nearby woodlands etc should help to fight her arachnophobia. If she is not living close to the countryside, frequent visits to arachnid pet stores also help.


I would say that ALL of your posts in this thread have had helpful information, but it just wasn't presented very... kindly. Everyone in the hobby deserves some help and respect. That being said, fighting arachnophobia is probably best to do before the purchase of the tarantula unless, of course, it's a docile specimen, in which case that in and of itself can help with the fear. There's so much to learn every day from and about these wonderful creatures.

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## Arashi Takamine (Dec 11, 2011)

I just want to say that I actually had no intention of keeping a tarantula until I joined this forum in order to help rid myself of my fear. I figured talking to spider owners would help and it's lessened my fear but those reactions are still there. Shuddering, cringing not even wanting to look that's all there still. 

I had considered just getting a juvie B. Smithi or A.Versicolor or G. Rosea as a first T but again I want to be ready before I do anything. I had no intention of impulse buying and leaping head first into it. I was planning on purchesing books on arachnopboia to learn more about it and how to conqure it as well as get some books on tarantula's as well.

I still very much want to own one but right now my mind has been off the very idea due to one very important factor in my life: I just dropped a crap load of money on fish medications and currently there's no ROOM to put a T. I got the tools I need to prepare myself and my parents but until I get them to understand this isn't some phase I'll be trying until then. But I'm going to wait awhile before I even dare prepose an idea due to Christmas and my birthday coming up. The local musem has a T and they do let people handle it during certian events. I'm hoping to get experience with being able to handle that one and I'll be mindful of the hair and teeth.

The intention and desire to keep a tarantula is still there but my fear isn't completely gone. I want to get over it before I get a new pet so I won't be afraid of it. I mean what's the fun in owning a pet if your afraid of it?


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## TMRKD (Dec 12, 2011)

Get a _B. albopilosum_ I wasn't too sure about tarantulas to start but I got over it pretty fast after it ran up my arm.


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## Sage (Dec 12, 2011)

Conquer fear through knowledge, as most fear is the lack thereof.  The shark hype, snake hype, spider hype etc. are all just really overhyped.  If it's handling you're afraid of, you don't have to.  I only handle during cage maintanence but even then that's what extra delicups are for.  Just continue to learn and understand them as a unique animal and you'll be able to accept them I'm sure.  There are ways to respect the animal and understand it (and once you do they aren't scary little monsters anymore), even care for it from a distance.  But you're right.  You're not ready, but when you are you have all the support you'll ever need here.

I have to ask though, where did this love/hate relationship come from?  Do you just want to beat your phobia or do tarantulas to a degree actually interest you?  They fascinate me, and I obsess over them just as much as I do over kittens.


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## Earth Tiger (Dec 12, 2011)

If you are not living close to the countryside then getting some experience from your local museum would definitely help. I still don't recommend you jump to owning a T until you can fight against most of the fear - if you hasn't learned to walk yet you just cannot run or you will injure yourself. As regards the 3 species you mentioned, although they are all docile, they are not all suitable for someone with arachnophobia. I would recommend G. rosea for you at the beginning after you can overcome most of the fear. It's clam and slow moving when you handle it, and it rarely flick nasty urticating hairs. The B. smithi flicks urticating hairs quite often, while the A. versicolor is skittish, fast and unpredictable on his rapid movements - all these actions can provoke your fear when handling them, and in defense you may drop them, hurt them or even kill them, especially for the B. smithi that is more susceptible to falling than the A. versicolor. Also the G. rosea is more hardy than the other two and requires minimal care. 

I would also recommend a G. pulchra, the Brazilian Black. It's also identical to the G. rosea but is jet black in color and grows slightly larger.


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## Arashi Takamine (Dec 12, 2011)

Sage said:


> Conquer fear through knowledge, as most fear is the lack thereof.  The shark hype, snake hype, spider hype etc. are all just really overhyped.  If it's handling you're afraid of, you don't have to.  I only handle during cage maintanence but even then that's what extra delicups are for.  Just continue to learn and understand them as a unique animal and you'll be able to accept them I'm sure.  There are ways to respect the animal and understand it (and once you do they aren't scary little monsters anymore), even care for it from a distance.  But you're right.  You're not ready, but when you are you have all the support you'll ever need here.
> 
> I have to ask though, where did this love/hate relationship come from?  Do you just want to beat your phobia or do tarantulas to a degree actually interest you?  They fascinate me, and I obsess over them just as much as I do over kittens.


I have a more  so hate to the other half of the spider spectrum like wolf spiders and black widows. I do have an interest in tarantula's they look gorgeous and seeing video's of them interests me. I would love to own my own and if you look through my previous posts I've asked a lot of questions on proper housing/feeding/ect for a sling and they're like fish almost. Once you get a glimpse of what awesoem pets they can become then the urge begins and before you know it...Enabled.

@Earth Tiger: I don't live close to the countryside I live in a city actually but there's a lot of woods around it and the museum is in the heart of it all near our river. I'm not going to jump into this I already stated so several times. I figure my parent's don't want to see it so it'll be in my room.

I gotta get over my fear so I don't get worse insomnia from a pet that's supposed to be enjoying to own. I'm more welcomed to owning a T now rather then buying another betta fish. (God whoever said owning fish was easy was a dolt. Nothing about owning fish is easy or low maitence. Nothing!) I have kept that in mind and a G. Pulchra sounds interesting but I'm not sure if I want to go with black and bigger especially if their ideal substrate is dark. (I spent almost an hour looking for my sick betta and he was as dark as the substrate. Looking for a T well..I'd hate to have a sudden charge at the tank wall)

I also am interested in other species like the Green Bottle Blue or the B. Vagans. I know the B. Vagans in relation to the Smithi probably kicks up hair a lot and I should be cautious. 

Again most dread I have is actually feeding and removing dead molt skins. I really do want to get one of these and understand them better then the rep most people give them. (Who the heck comes up with Bird Eating T anyway?)


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## Ultum4Spiderz (Dec 12, 2011)

im 20 and Until I move out amy parents house i gotta listen to them complain about me having too many spiders LOL
trust me,.,.. dont be in a big hurry.. and hopefully your parents are nicer then mine... my parents only care about working   and I got no job at the moment
im old enough to make my own decisions they should worry abouy something else !!!
good luck getting Ts.. limit yourself to a small number if your allowed... dont go outa control like me :biggrin:


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## Earth Tiger (Dec 12, 2011)

*@Arashi Takamine*, which species to own depends largely on what you will expect from the tarantula. Will you handle it often? Do you want to see the spider often? Will you go on a long holiday often and leave it without food for a month? Do you want a fast growing spiderling that never rejects food and gets to 10" in 2 years? 

First you may also need to define to what extent you would like to get rid of your arachnophobia. One does not need to love and touch a tarantula to overcome arachnophobia - that you don't handle a rat, a cockroach or a grasshopper doesn't mean that you fear them and have phobia over them. In other words is it a must to have a tarantula that you can handle? Perhaps not. In that case a lot more species are suitable for you. The Green Bottle Blue you mentioned is one candidate, it is docile but a bit skittish and moves quickly, thus handling by someone with arachnophobia isn't recommended, but it is a beautiful and hardy species for a beginner. It webs a lot though and may not be the best display T for you - remember familiarity promotes liking, if you can't see it often, it won't help you to fight the phobia. It also eats a lot and is a fast grower.

Another good candidate for your case if handling isn't a must is the Lasiodora parahybana, the Brazilian Salmon Pink Birdeater. This is one of the most overlooked beginner T species. It has no concept of hiding and proudly moves around in the tank often, hanging itself on the wall of your tank showing its impressive size and knows no fear despite many eyes on it. It never rejects food from you and matures in 2-3 years. It rarely flicks hairs which are mild (different people have different reactions, I don't find their hairs itchy at all), and many individuals have rather docile and calm temperament too. This is one of the biggest spiders in the world with the best temperament among the giants, and if you want to overcome your fear quickly, you should seriously consider it - if you can combat the fear on one of the biggest spiders in the world, you will no longer have any problem with any other spider.

But if handling is a must, and if you don't like black spiders, you may consider G. aureostriata, the Chaco Golden Knee. Again it is essentially the same as G. rosea, but more beautiful and larger. It is even larger than the G. pulchra, but keep in mind that all the Grammostola species are very slow grower and it takes years for a G. aureostriata to reach 8" adult size, and with its occasional fasting habit characteristic of all Grammostola species it will probably take further years to mature. You certainly don't take years to overcome arachnophobia. Grammostola species are hardy and require very minimal care, and you can leave it without food for a month or longer. 

Concerning the urticating hairs, some species have more severe irritating hairs and some kick their hairs more readily. Brachypelma species including B. vagans kick hairs quite easily and their hairs are somewhat itchy, but they are not the worst. Theraphosa species and Nhandu species have the most severe hairs, and they kick urticating hairs with the slightest disturbance. 

Terrestrial tarantulas almost never eat birds. Molt skins are just like your old dresses and so don't call it "dead" molt skins. Your nails and hair are dead too but you don't call them dead nails and dead hair - doing so will just provoke unnecessary fear. In fact if you don't remove their molt skins promptly they will crush them into skin balls and bury them under the substrate - the balls mixed with substrate may be less dread for you to remove. 

I also have a suggestion, next time if you need to write a story for your homework etc, instead of casting lions, tigers, bears, etc, as the main characters, cast a Lasiodora parahybana. A lion is more dangerous to you but you don't have phobia over it, because lions are portrayed as some heroes in many stories, like The Lion King, or The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis, etc, but in fact a lion isn't any hero but a predator that poses you real life threatening danger, while a tarantula doesn't. _You may write a short story about a greedy Lasiodora parahybana tarantula that knocked your windows every night, waking you up and bugged you for food. You couldn't catch insect, so instead you saved the shrimps from your lunches and dinners for it but you could never satisfy its appetite. It was 9" in leg-span, just too large to settle on the shrimps you saved from every meal that had you shrimps. Yet, you don't have enough money to buy it more food because you just dropped a crap load of money on fish medications. You were very annoyed and eventually to the point of fearing the spider, fearing the dark, always had nightmares about it and you shivered whenever you heard noises from windows or saw some furry items. You stood up and told yourself it had to stop, it's just insane. "If I have extra pocket money I will get my favorite candies! That's enough for the eight legged freak!" One day you randomly grabbed a bag of candies from your candy store and used up all your money, showing your courage that you wouldn't save a dime for the T food anymore. You had no idea what the candies were because spending on any candy was better than spending on that eight legged freak. At night you went into the woods alone to collect some spiders to combat your fear on spiders, but a vicious blood thirsty giant fer-de-lance viper loomed before you, rearing up its head 4 feet high, opening his mouth, revealing long fangs dripping venom mixed saliva on your face. You dropped the candy pack, fell onto your hands and were stunned, partially by the foul saliva on your face and mostly by its pupils that contracted to narrow vertical slits as if its stare alone could cut you in half. Before you could figure out what to do, it already stroke down, aiming at your neck. But all of a sudden the Lasiodora parahybana ambushed the snake from behind, knocking it aside with its front legs into the shrub on your left. The spider jumped away from the snake to your right, grasping your right and pulled you getting away from the snake. The snake bit to shrub, released it, and getting hold of itself, flicking his red tongue as if a dragon was splitting fire, pointed to your direction and charged. The spider told you to run and stood ground, facing the snake, but you said "How about you? It will kill you?" "No, it won't. It can't quite see me in the dark, I have no body heat for it to pick up" You got up and as you ran away, you turned back and barely saw through the woods that the spider pounded, before the snake could react it already retreated to a safe distance. The snake was quickly paralyzed before its final strike back but to a rock. Within seconds, it was all over. And you were back home, safe. 

The other night you had a dream, you saw through the windows a rainbow in the night sky. It wasn't a rainbow, because there were 8 colors instead of 7, more like eight glistering colorful stars, slowly approaching. It wasn't a dream, and you heard the familiar glass knocking, but without the associated negative emotion this time, thanks partially to the beautiful glowing stars that was almost hypnotic with their rhythmic movements, which was why you thought you were dreaming. It was the L. parahybana, the spider that saved you from the snake. It had a glow candy ring on each leg, beautiful and also wicked funny. It said "you left something in the woods, I opened it and I thought you bought them to me and wanted me to wear them. Do I wear them right? I am one smart T you know!" Then it was waiving its legs rhythmically and started to dance. You were silence for a moment, and couldn't hold back a laugh for the funniest scene you had ever had. :biggrin: _

I am not a native english speaker and you can certainly write a better story, but at least my above story has lots of facts in it - such as that the L. parahybana is the natural enemy of fer-de-lance vipers. In J K Rowling's Harry Potter, giants spiders fled before the serpent, that is totally incorrect (in fact most of she portrayed most animals and mythical creatures incorrectly in the novels, although some had been corrected in the movies). Snakes fall prey to tarantulas in most regions, and only very few snake preys on inverts and probably even fewer preys on arachnids (at least I never heard of it). The insectivorous snakes are very small too.

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