# If Arachnids used social media.....



## Arthroverts (Aug 12, 2016)

...What would they say? Hello everyone! I got the idea to start this from a National Geographic Kids magazine. I'll pretend to be a few tarantulas chatting on Fangbook,
(Example: SpeedToe said: Oh Boy! The Keeper got Wax Worms, I'm gonna have a feast tonight! How's it over there MexicanRadKnee?) and eventually I'll add a few more creatures. The rest of you can also add Arachnids, Myriapods and insects, and speak what you think they might say. Here are a few rules: Please, let us not have 50 people all doing the same kind of invertebrates, but as all different individuals. Just two or three of the same kind for now. Please no profanity or adult talk, remember, your saying what you think the creature your representing would post on social media. Also, don't hijack someone else's critter, there are plenty to go around. Posting pictures is definitely recommended, such as a selfie (Of the critter your representing of course). Follow the temperament of your critters too, no super aggressive C. cyaneopubescens.
Thats all for now, hope you all like it.
Thanks

Reactions: Like 6 | Funny 2 | Love 1 | Award 1


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## ratluvr76 (Aug 12, 2016)

Some people may like it, some won't. but either way, I think this is more of a "watering hole" thread.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 5


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## magicmed (Aug 12, 2016)

Mr obt says I need a hug today

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1 | Award 1


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## Arthroverts (Aug 12, 2016)

Bristles said:
Hello? Anyone out there? It's kinda lonely in here, with just crickets, don't make for much conversation.
#lonelyG.rosea

Reactions: Like 1


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## Arthroverts (Aug 12, 2016)

SpeedToe said:
Yeah I’m here, Avicularia Avicularia, nothing to be proud of, or ashamed of. Have you been talking to crickets Bristles? There tasty, but they interrupt ye too much. Sorry Mr obt, no hugs today.
#interruptingcrickets

Reactions: Like 1


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## Kymura (Aug 12, 2016)

Mahtava the A genic stretches out a pretty striped leg. Wait...did someone say crickets. ? I swear it's been weeks since I ate last...
"Cricket party at my hide"
​

Reactions: Like 1


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## Leonardo the Mage (Aug 12, 2016)

Midnightblack: Uh, don't even talk about crickets, I had a huge meal only last year, I still can't even think about food right now!

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


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## Steelo Johnson (Aug 12, 2016)

Lolth:

Lolth is at La Cucaracha's with Curly and Poe.

OMG, best dubias ever!!!!!!!!

Reactions: Like 1


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## Toxoderidae (Aug 12, 2016)

what is this? I wake up to this? What?

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 4


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## Andrea82 (Aug 12, 2016)

PinkToe82 has now joined the FB group 'Human Keepers'

Message from PinkToe82:
I moved in with a human 3 days ago, how do I get it to leave me alone? Should I web my tube shut?

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 3 | Funny 9 | Love 1


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## Kymura (Aug 12, 2016)

Mahtava
1 hour ago

Send me an group invite, but listen, webbing doesn't help, dig all the way down, that sometimes works. DON'T trust those humans! They just aren't right. They..well they kill the food and then expect you to eat it that way!
#PinkToe82

Reactions: Like 3 | Agree 1 | Funny 1


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## JumpingSpiderLady (Aug 12, 2016)

Lady the Teleogryllus commodus:
Feeling: annoyed
Ladies, I do NOT recommend living with two male roomies.  They are constantly fighting over me.  Why don't they take the hint that I don't want either one of them!?  #cricketlifeishardsometimes

(Human note: My daughter gathered these field crickets for her insect zoo for school, and I gotta say, they are pretty entertaining.  It's easy to imagine them in a little cricket soap opera.)

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 1


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## Tim Benzedrine (Aug 12, 2016)

Say 'Amen!' and like this comment if you want me to moult out female. Scroll past if you want me to die a lonely male."

Reactions: Like 5 | Funny 10


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## Trenor (Aug 12, 2016)

Tim Benzedrine said:


> Say 'Amen!' and like this comment if you want me to moult out female. Scroll past if you want me to die a lonely male."


This looks suspiciously like a T owners Facebook post I saw the other day... not a Ts.

Reactions: Funny 2


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## gypsy cola (Aug 12, 2016)

MM seeking MF.

I got big Palps.

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 7 | Love 1 | Award 1


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## JumpingSpiderLady (Aug 12, 2016)

*Serenity
*
Feeling: Sleepy
Ugh.  My carapace is way too tight.  I know I need to molt, but all I wanna do is nap.  #sleepingbeautypulchripes

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Vanessa (Aug 12, 2016)

Portia ChacoCricketKiller
Feeling: Pampered 
You girls really need to check out the new salon because their mani/pedi is the best... EVAR! And they serve you fresh cricket juice and not that prekilled stuff like 'you-know-where'. It was so worth coming out of my webbed up hole after only six months. Check out these killer toes, biotches!
#readyforsummer #showmethebeach #flipflopsforever

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7 | Love 3


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## JumpingSpiderLady (Aug 12, 2016)

*Serenity
*
@Portia Looking good, girl!

Reactions: Love 1


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## Andrea82 (Aug 12, 2016)

Kymura said:


> Mahtava
> 1 hour ago
> 
> Send me an group invite, but listen, webbing doesn't help, dig all the way down, that sometimes woks. DON'T trust those humans! They just aren't right. They..well they kill the food and then expect you to eat it that way!
> #PinkToe82


Thnx for advice, but how do i dig?? I don't have the legs for that! 
I know about the food. One thing that helps is just stop eating for like, half a year. They'll go crazy and offer you ANYTHING!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Vanessa (Aug 12, 2016)

Aspen AvicGirl
Feeling: Frustrated  

My fam don’t get it. I know Marcus is a scorp, but I love him! Why can’t they just accept that? They say it’s because we can’t have children, but did they even ask me if I wanted a bunch of freeloading kids? They need to get with the program – it’s 2016AD and not 2016BC!
We’re going to have to elope.

#EvolveAlready #LoveIsLove #NoHate #NoBoundries #ChildlessByChoice #Romeo&Juliet

Reactions: Funny 8


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## Chris LXXIX (Aug 12, 2016)

They will use that poop called 'Social Media' only for grow in numbers and launch an attack on humanity, leaded by the *Goddess *0.1*
*

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 4


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## Andrea82 (Aug 12, 2016)

Rosie:
Dinner with new boyfriend was delicious, he was awfull quiet though..

Reactions: Funny 8


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## magicmed (Aug 12, 2016)

MM OBT: Did you eat him? I must say I find it oppressive that we MM must wander around our worlds tapping madly on the magic barrier. Hoping to get the attention of the female a few world's over, when one day after so long we are put into a spaceship, transported to the world with the beautiful female, as we curiously approach the first female we have ever seen....WE GET EATEN!

Vote for MM rights!

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1 | Funny 1 | Love 1 | Optimistic 1


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## JumpingSpiderLady (Aug 12, 2016)

*Serenity


*
Like and share if you agree!

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 5 | Love 3


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## Vanessa (Aug 12, 2016)

I have actually really enjoyed this thread because of how creative and clever everyone's contributions have been. It has brightened up my Friday morning and put me in a really good mood. Thanks for that.
And who knew that our tarantulas would have this whole social media thing down pat? I'm going to have to keep better eye on my bandwidth.

Reactions: Like 2 | Agree 2 | Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Aug 12, 2016)

MexicanRadKnee said:
Hello guys! I am a Brachypelma smithi, just got here from a pet store. Kinda stressed out, anyone here who been here a long time? Whats the keeper like? Food? Water? Whoa....am really scared, HELP!

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Aug 12, 2016)

SpeedToe said:
Welcome to the club, MexicanRadKnee. Keepers O.K, foods ok, everything's pretty O.K, just don’t ever give Mr obt a hug (He’ll eat you!). There’s always a bolt hole or cave in with ya, just stay there for a while. Hey PinkToe82, welcome, you and me can’t dig but we can web. Just web up yer hide and come out, maybe twice a week, and eat. If your keeper knows what he’s doing he’ll leave you alone, just so long as he knows you're fine. Believe me I know.
#yerallfine #fiveyearsofexperience

Reactions: Funny 1


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## JumpingSpiderLady (Aug 12, 2016)

*Cellar on the ceiling
*
Feeling: disgusted 
Humans are the creepiest things!  They come into _my _room, do a partial molt , then purposely cover themselves with water!  How can they handle getting thier booklungs all wet?  Ick!  Just get out of my room, you horrible creatures!  #cantreasonwithahuman

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 6


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## Garth Vader (Aug 12, 2016)

This thread is so weird and funny!  Thanks for making me laugh.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## Arthroverts (Aug 17, 2016)

SpeedToe said:
The keeper didn't mist me this morning.......or yesterday.......or the day before that. It's ok, it's ok.......I'll go drink some water.....AUUGGGHHHGH I NEED MY HUMIDITY!!!! HELP!!


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## tetracerus (Aug 17, 2016)

@Timothy Brinkley This is the most hilarious/creative thread idea ever haha

I need to go grab some food miniatures and take some tarantula brunch selfies.

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## Garth Vader (Aug 17, 2016)

tetracerus said:


> @Timothy Brinkley This is the most hilarious/creative thread idea ever haha
> 
> I need to go grab some food miniatures and take some tarantula brunch selfies.


Holy crap.  I just looked at your instagram.  That is amazing and delightfully strange!

Reactions: Like 1


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## Najakeeper (Aug 17, 2016)

Adult Female blondi says:

Bipedal creeper is checking out my egg sack everyday, getting a bit paranoid here. I would rather eat my kids than let him take them!

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3 | Love 1


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## Najakeeper (Aug 19, 2016)

Ok, one more to revive this unique topic...

Annoying ad pops up!

_Phoneutria nigriventer_ with a speech bubble: "Ladies, are you unhappy in the bedroom? One bite on your man will fix ALL your problems. Call 1-800-BANANA"

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 10


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## Arthroverts (Aug 20, 2016)

Bristles said:
Hey Blondi! When I was a bit younger, I had a few egg sacks, and the best way to get rid of keepers checkin on you is by sending hairs at e'm! After two times, my old keeper stopped opening my cage lid, for fear of getting blasted!
#blastthem

Reactions: Agree 1


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## JumpingSpiderLady (Aug 20, 2016)

*DubiaDan:*
Feeling: worried

Has anybody seen Bill?

Reactions: Funny 3


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## magicmed (Aug 20, 2016)

#tarantulalivesmatter

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Tim Benzedrine (Aug 20, 2016)

"Eight-legged Wonder has sent you an invitation to play Spider Solitaire"

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1 | Love 1


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## Arthroverts (Aug 26, 2016)

JumpingSpiderLady said:


> *DubiaDan:*
> Feeling: worried
> 
> Has anybody seen Bill?


MexicanRadKnee said:
Was that cockroaches name Bill? He was delicious! I've got his food bolus right here, sorry about not having pictures, my camera's at the shop.
#dubiabill=yum!

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Arthroverts (Aug 27, 2016)

Bristles said:
Hey everybody, the keeper brought in a box! Just like the one I was brought in. See, he's pulling something out......a...a...a Chaco Golden knee! There was one next to me at the store I was brought from.....and a scorpion, ohhh. Do not like scorpions. When I was young, and still in the wild, me and a couple of my siblings were walking through the forest. A HUGE scorpion burst out of the brush and grabbed a hold of my brothers and sisters. I BARELY escaped! Lucky I'm still alive and here.
#newones #dontlikescorpions


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## Arthroverts (Aug 27, 2016)

MexicanRadKnee said:
It’s an Emperor scorpion! I took scorpion biology in college. Welcome everybody!
#welcome!


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## mistertim (Aug 27, 2016)

lol. Just filled my water dish up with substrate again right after my human filled it up. 10th time in a row now!!!   #DumbHumans #YOLO #SubstrateGangstas

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 3


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## EulersK (Aug 27, 2016)

I wanted to put what an OBT would say, but the mods wouldn't appreciate the colorful language. 

#blindrage

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Arthroverts (Mar 19, 2018)

Hello everyone, I am going to revive this thread, as it was decently popular while I kept it up. I am going to try to keep it up from now on.

SpeedToe said:
This is ridiculous, the keeper keeps turning the Sun on and off, on and off, IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY! And the humidity! HELP!
#FightBack!

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## Arthroverts (Mar 19, 2018)

MexicanRadKnee said:
My keeper keeps hacking into my account, and uploading weird pictures of me to this weird site they call Face something! Anybody out there have any experience with WebWall security systems? Will pay 10 Crickets, 10 Dubias and 10 Mealworms for work done on my security.
#WebSecurity

Reactions: Like 3 | Award 1


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## Leila (Mar 20, 2018)

Love me or hate me. #savageAF #QueenB #yaaassssss #rosiecoloredglasses

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2 | Love 1


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## NukaMedia Exotics (Mar 20, 2018)

The thread title made me think of a scorpion using its tail as a selfie stick lmao.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 5


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## Dennis Nedry (Mar 20, 2018)

'Looking for a nice guy who loves to hang around the burrow, preferably fat and juicy. Would love to have you for dinner sometime'

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Wolfspidurguy (Mar 20, 2018)

Arthroverts said:


> ...What would they say? Hello everyone! I got the idea to start this from a National Geographic Kids magazine. I'll pretend to be a few tarantulas chatting on Fangbook,
> (Example: SpeedToe said: Oh Boy! The Keeper got Wax Worms, I'm gonna have a feast tonight! How's it over there MexicanRadKnee?) and eventually I'll add a few more creatures. The rest of you can also add Arachnids, Myriapods and insects, and speak what you think they might say. Here are a few rules: Please, let us not have 50 people all doing the same kind of invertebrates, but as all different individuals. Just two or three of the same kind for now. Please no profanity or adult talk, remember, your saying what you think the creature your representing would post on social media. Also, don't hijack someone else's critter, there are plenty to go around. Posting pictures is definitely recommended, such as a selfie (Of the critter your representing of course). Follow the temperament of your critters too, no super aggressive C. cyaneopubescens.
> Thats all for now, hope you all like it.
> Thanks


idk why but i want my hogna carolinensis to be a flat earth enthusiast who pushes there beliefs on others on social media "ishumaura: if the earth wasnt flat then why cont i slide down the side of the earth"

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## Andrea82 (Mar 20, 2018)

C.versicolor:
FINALLY got some inspiration again to paint, yay!

4 minutes later:
Nevermind. Heartless human destroyed my work again, barbaric pig. FML

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## PidderPeets (Mar 20, 2018)

NewDudeChromatus:

My pet human is out of her mind if she thinks I'm gonna molt any time soon. Gonna make her worry a bit longer. 




#tarantulatrolls #premolt #butnotanytimesoon #blackbooty #boyscanhavebigbuttstoo #sorrynotsorry #dumbhuman #mybuttsactuallydragginghelpme

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Arthroverts (Mar 20, 2018)

The Imperative Emperor said:
AHOY MAties! Is thar any other scorpin’s in this heare house?

Bristles said:
Hey C.versicolor, I have the same problem, I lay this wonderful web art down and around (especially on the ceiling), and then BAM! It's all ruined! I still remember my Mona Lactrodectus rendition, 'sigh'.....

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Tim Benzedrine (Mar 20, 2018)

"Vote for Donald Redrump". Make Arachnids Great Again!"

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 8 | Award 1


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## Tim Benzedrine (Mar 21, 2018)

Dennis Nedry said:


> 'Looking for a nice guy who loves to hang around the burrow, preferably fat and juicy. Would love to have you for dinner sometime'


PM me with directions to your place. Getting ready now!

Reactions: Funny 10 | Award 1


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## MissOrangeHat (Mar 21, 2018)

Sling1:

I might be tiny...But I will fight YOU WITH POWER OF LEG SPEED.


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## Ungoliant (Mar 21, 2018)

_Acanthoscurria geniculata_ just spams this ad:

_*Do you have a bug problem?  Message me.  No infestation is too large or too small for me to handle.*_

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7 | Love 1


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## Mjb30 (Mar 21, 2018)

User: Brachy_albo_5
Feeling : Ecstatic!

I had my 5th moult yesterday and now a Juvie and so finally allowed to open a Fangbook account! Feeling a bit soft and vulnerable still though

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2


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## dord (Mar 21, 2018)

Tim Benzedrine said:


> "Vote for Donald Redrump". Make Arachnids Great Again!"


*Donald Redrump:*
The web just got 10 inches higher.

Reactions: Funny 1 | Award 1


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## dord (Mar 21, 2018)

*Donald Redrump:*
I promise you I am going to build a web to keep the Brachypelmas from smuggling gut-loaded feeders across the border. And I am NOT a Brachypelma, trust me! Those taxonomists are spreading fake news!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 7


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## Tim Benzedrine (Mar 22, 2018)

dord said:


> *Donald Redrump:*
> I promise you I am going to build a web to keep the Brachypelmas from smuggling gut-loaded feeders across the border. And I am NOT a Brachypelma, trust me! Those taxonomists are spreading fake news!


Excellent follow-up!

Reactions: Like 1 | Agree 1


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## MissOrangeHat (Mar 22, 2018)

#slinglivesmatter

Reactions: Funny 1


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## dord (Mar 22, 2018)

*Donald Redrump:*
Despite the constant negative press wavtetr

Reactions: Funny 4


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## Leila (Mar 22, 2018)

I especially hate posts like this on social media. Lol. (Sorry the text is difficult to see- the app I used kinda blows.)

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 8


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## Arthroverts (Mar 25, 2018)

SpeedToe said:
Ahoy Imperative Emperor! Wel'come to the club!
To everyone else, where are my crickets? I noticed the keeper bringing them towards me and then getting deverted towards someone else, Sling1! That's how ya've gotten so big so fast!

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Apr 8, 2018)

Invertebrate Sports News said:
Watch for tonights Championship in basketball, Scorpions VS Tarantulas, in game one of the Arthropods Basketball League championship! After narrowly defeating the Crustaceans in seven games, the Tarantulas will be going for a fifteenth title, while the Scorpions will be going for a thirteenth trophy, after defeating the True Spiders in six games. The Tarantulas and the Scorpions are arch rivals in this highly anticipated game, so tune your radio to WEB 905, or your Vibration TV to Invertebrate Sports News on channel 597 for the game at Invertebrate Time 5:05. Check back here for a play by play of the game, and the introduction of the starters after some critical injuries to the Tarantulas.
#ABLchampionship

Reactions: Funny 4 | Creative 3


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## Andrea82 (Apr 9, 2018)

Pinktoe82:
Update. HELP!
Guys, I woke up after my molt (which was the toughest one, EVER), and now my toes are gone on my palps! GONE! 
Instead i got these bloody looking things which get stuck in like, everything. What's the matter with me?

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## boina (Apr 9, 2018)

JeanieTheGenie
Mood: hangry.

Blog post #21:
There's no food. 10 days in a row and there's still no food. I'm sure CarlaTheKlugi is eating my roaches, too! She's just a fat pig. I'm doing my darn best to get out of here and over to the roach bin but this glass door won't budge. 10 days and 10 minutes and still no food...  Ahhhh! The next thing that comes in here will be declared food, whatever it is. Maybe I can eat one of those fluff balls with 4 missing legs... they look pretty big but I'm sure I can manage... after all they only have 4 legs and no pedipalps. 8 legs win over 4 legs any day. I want food! Maybe I can get down to Carla and eat her? Then everyone would know who the biggest, most badass tarantula is! This door still won't budge, though. Darn it, I need food to keep up my strength! 10 days and 20 minutes and counting... Feeeeed Meeee!!!!!

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 2 | Love 1


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## PanzoN88 (Apr 9, 2018)

Big_Bertha_thegeniculata
Mood: enojada (angry) (it's a female, so I have to change the "o" to an "a")

Tengo hambre (i'm hungry)

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Andrea82 (Apr 10, 2018)

PanzoN88 said:


> Big_Bertha_thegeniculata
> Mood: enojada (angry) (it's a female, so I have to change the "o" to an "a")
> 
> Tengo hambre (i'm hungry)


So... it's not enough to be a ravenous murder tank since the genics are Multi-Language as well!?


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## PanzoN88 (Apr 10, 2018)

Andrea82 said:


> So... it's not enough to be a ravenous murder tank since the genics are Multi-Language as well!?


Of course

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Wolfspidurguy (Apr 10, 2018)

Wolfspidurguy said:


> idk why but i want my hogna carolinensis to be a flat earth enthusiast who pushes there beliefs on others on social media "ishumaura: if the earth wasnt flat then why cont i slide down the side of the earth"


"hey everyone i found the edge of the earth the human calls it a desk but i know better than to believe his globe earth LIES"

radipusaudix: hey im gonna magically escape from my enclosure because that human wasnt looking for me for like 2 years or anything

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Apr 10, 2018)

Wolfspidurguy said:


> radipusaudix: hey im gonna magically escape from my enclosure because that human wasnt looking for me for like 2 years or anything


Bristles said:
Go! Go! Go! Go!


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## Arthroverts (Apr 12, 2018)

Invertebrate Sports News said:
The starting lineups for the Tarantulas after Grammostola pulchra and Aphonopelma chalcodes lost legs in their last game: Theraphosa blondi will step in for the resting T. stirmi at center, Avicularia avicularia will return at point guard, Pterinochilus murinius at power forward, Xenesthis immanis at shooting guard, taking over for A. chalcodes, and Poecilthoria regalis to take over for G. pulchra at small forward.
The scorpions are playing Pandinius imperator in the place of P. dictator at center, who is resting, Tityus serrulatus at small forward/point guard, Heterometrus spinifer at power forward, Hadrurus arizonensis for small forward, and Centruroides limbatus for shooting guard/point guard, in place for C. exilicauda who is resting. 
Remember, the game is at IT 5:05 on your radio at WEB 905, or tune your Vibration TV to Invertebrate Sports News on channel 597.
#ABLchampionship2018

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Tim Benzedrine (Apr 13, 2018)

> @Wolfspidurguy
> You know you can add messages in a post right? No need to give every message its separate post


I don't get that one!

Oh, nevermind, it was just constructive criticism.


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## Wolfspidurguy (Apr 10, 2018)

Arthroverts said:


> Bristles said:
> Go! Go! Go! Go!


notahuman: hey maybe you left something behind maybe you should go back (please come back)

aurantiusgirl123: the human wont let me see my boyfriend because im not "old enough" and ill probably "eat him" well he cant tell me not to see my handsome, delicious, juicy... boyfriend



Wolfspidurguy said:


> "hey everyone i found the edge of the earth the human calls it a desk but i know better than to believe his globe earth LIES"


"i saw radipusaudix jump off the edge of the earth i must stay in my hide to avoid falling off this flat earth #hidefromflatearth"



Tim Benzedrine said:


> Say 'Amen!' and like this comment if you want me to moult out female. Scroll past if you want me to die a lonely male."


amen!



Andrea82 said:


> Thnx for advice, but how do i dig?? I don't have the legs for that!
> I know about the food. One thing that helps is just stop eating for like, half a year. They'll go crazy and offer you ANYTHING!


ishumauratheHcarolina: i can dig it for you but not far i dont want to fall through the earth which is flat



Arthroverts said:


> MexicanRadKnee said:
> Hello guys! I am a Brachypelma smithi, just got here from a pet store. Kinda stressed out, anyone here who been here a long time? Whats the keeper like? Food? Water? Whoa....am really scared, HELP!


pro tip the keepers dont like when you give there hands kisses



Arthroverts said:


> Bristles said:
> Hey everybody, the keeper brought in a box! Just like the one I was brought in. See, he's pulling something out......a...a...a Chaco Golden knee! There was one next to me at the store I was brought from.....and a scorpion, ohhh. Do not like scorpions. When I was young, and still in the wild, me and a couple of my siblings were walking through the forest. A HUGE scorpion burst out of the brush and grabbed a hold of my brothers and sisters. I BARELY escaped! Lucky I'm still alive and here.
> #newones #dontlikescorpions


reaperthescorp: uuuuuuummmmmmm okay not all of us are like that #scorplivesmattertoo

*window pops up* are your palps small try palp enlargment crickets and see your palps enlarge in 5-7 days for only 6.99 and your social security number (now in superworm varriation)



Arthroverts said:


> Hello everyone, I am going to revive this thread, as it was decently popular while I kept it up. I am going to try to keep it up from now on.
> 
> SpeedToe said:
> This is ridiculous, the keeper keeps turning the Sun on and off, on and off, IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY! And the humidity! HELP!
> #FightBack!


you think thats bad mine makes it rain for about half a second and then stops idk how hes doing it but its freaking me out



Arthroverts said:


> The Imperative Emperor said:
> AHOY MAties! Is thar any other scorpin’s in this heare house?
> 
> Bristles said:
> Hey C.versicolor, I have the same problem, I lay this wonderful web art down and around (especially on the ceiling), and then BAM! It's all ruined! I still remember my Mona Lactrodectus rendition, 'sigh'.....


reaperthescorp: hey emperor dont trust bristles there scorpion racist #scorpsgottasticktogether

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Andrea82 (Apr 11, 2018)

@Wolfspidurguy 
You know you can add messages in a post right? No need to give every message its separate post


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## Wolfspidurguy (Apr 24, 2018)

We regret to inform you that ishumaura thehcarolina's account has been deactivated. Reason: deceased

Reactions: Sad 1


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## Arthroverts (Apr 24, 2018)

SpeedToe said:
Ach! Thats what happens with tem wufspiders, die so soon....


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## Godzillaalienfan1979 (May 1, 2018)

Scolly D.Haani:

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFGGGGGHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!


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## Wolfspidurguy (May 4, 2018)

Skittlestheavic: the human was rehouseing me today and I decided to climb up his arm instead of going into the enclosure. The blank look he gives me when he has no idea how to get me into the enclosure while I'm on his arm is halarious.

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Arthroverts (May 5, 2018)

SpeedToe said:
THat was my favurite part of bein' a sling, I remember getting up tha keepers shirt sleeve once and toatally freakin' i'm out.
#SleeveHides #Escapeartist

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Andrea82 (May 8, 2018)

Wolfspidurguy said:


> Skittlestheavic: the human was rehouseing me today and I decided to climb up his arm instead of going into the enclosure. The blank look he gives me when he has no idea how to get me into the enclosure while I'm on his arm is halarious.


P.metallica4ever says:
You think that is badass? Watch the panic that ensues when I pull a trick like that! She did fling me to a wall one time though and I broke my leg. Didn't bother me too much, after all we've got 8 of them anyway...

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (May 9, 2018)

MexicanRadKnee said:
Go Tarantulas! Anybody gonna bet against me? I thought not! You're going down scorps!
#GoTarantulas! #ABLChampionship

Invertebrate Sports News said:
Four minutes left in the fourth quarter, Scorpions are up 106 to 99.
Tarantulas take a timeout...
#ABLChampionship

Invertebrate Sports News said:
Tarantulas pull G. pulchra, who has five fouls, and put in G. pulchripes, who has four fouls and 23 points on the night.
Three-and-a-half minutes left, score is 106-101, Scorpions leading.
#ABLChampionship

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Moakmeister (May 9, 2018)

Regina @HerMajestyTheQueen says:
Today my keeper dropped a roach into my enclosure next to me. I ignored it for a moment, but then it moved so I lunged. But I ran right smack into a pair of tongs! I think my keeper must’ve assumed he dropped the roach too far away, and he was gonna pick it back up and drop it again, whatever. But me grabbing the tongs startled him and he jerked his hand with me holding on. I let go and went to the middle of me enclosure to let him close the lid. The roach chilled out in my burrow for awhile until I eventually caught it. What a needlessly crazy feeding.

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 2


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## tarantulaguns (May 9, 2018)

Arana @TheStylin'Curly

I can't believe my keeper attempted to feed me today. Wasn't it obvious I was enjoying my beauty sleep? Being this gorgeous takes a lot of work. Yep yep, she sure deserves some hairs to the face!

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (May 9, 2018)

Invertebrate Sports News said:
Tarantulas player X. immanis just hit a three, pulling the tarantulas to within two, 106-104, with three minutes left.
#ABLChampionship

Invertebrate Sports News said:
Scorpions call a timeout.
#ABLChampionship


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## AngelDeVille (May 9, 2018)

Grubbin’ on some grubs YO!   Oops that was a finger....JK....LOL...

Selfie incoming....

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Wolfspidurguy (May 9, 2018)

Palegreenassasssin: just finished molting yesterday and I have some dank new wings hecc yeah

Skittlestheavic: the keeper gabe me a cricket for the third day in a row he said something like "the pet store didn't feed you enough look at how small your abdomen is" whatever I'm not complaining. Update: he walked into the room to see I had finished the cricket already he was absolutely baffled I love messing with the keeper it's a little bit of pay back for naming me "skittle butt" thanks for that name @tewebag  (sorry I tagged you cas I thought you were the one who suggested that name)

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (May 23, 2018)

MexicanRadKnee said:
I can't wait for the Arthropod Soccer League games to start again.
#nomoreABL #GoASL #VivaLaTaratulasinASL


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## Arthroverts (May 9, 2018)

Invertebrate Sports News said:
Scorpions are up 116 to 115, with 25 seconds left, Scorpions with possession.
Scorpions bring it down...Tarantulas foul.
#ABLChampionship

Invertebrate Sports News said:
Scorps player V. carolinianus make the first one...
Intentionally misses the second one...
#ABLChampionship

Invertebrate Sports News said:
All the players are in a scrum...
#ABLChampionship

Invertebrate Sports News said:
Scorpions have it! They pass outside to U. yaschenkoi, he shoots.......
#ABLChampionship

Invertebrate Sports News said:
Its good! Its good! Scorpions are up 119-115 with 10 seconds left!
#ABLChampionship

Invertebrate Sports News said:
T. stirmi, is bringing it down, she hurls it downrange!
Oh my goodness! It doinks off the backboard!
The chase for the ball is on!
A. metallica has it!
Its a miss!
Scorpions win! Scorpions Win!  
#ABLChampionship

Invertebrate Sports News said:
Scorpions win Game 1 of the ABL Championship! Defeating the Tarantulas 119-115!
#ABLChampionship


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## Arthroverts (Jun 25, 2018)

The Imperative Emperor said:
Hey! Thar's a nw box on the shelf! From ecapsrebyC ni sguB. What dos that remind me of?
#StrangeLanguage

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Wolfspidurguy (Jun 26, 2018)

Longjawjessica: just came to this strange place in a pringles can can anyone tell me what this place is

RookdaBalbo: @longjawjessica this place is nice lots of dirt to dig in and food to eat just dont try to kiss the human


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## Arthroverts (Jun 26, 2018)

Bristles said: 
Welcome Longjawjessica! This is....hmm. Not the wild that's for sure!
#BornFree #ReturntotheWild


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## Wolfspidurguy (Jun 26, 2018)

Arthroverts said:


> Bristles said:
> Welcome Longjawjessica! This is....hmm. Not the wild that's for sure!
> #BornFree #ReturntotheWild


Notahuman: pfff the wild no one needs the wild #captivitysweetcaptivity

Reactions: Clarification Please 1


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## Arthroverts (Jun 26, 2018)

MexicanRadKnee said:
There's that hacker again! Now, I shall target that account with my new program and block it Forever! Whah Hah Hah!
#BegoneHacker!


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## Tim Benzedrine (Jun 26, 2018)

Looking for my children. We were all brown boxed and crossed the border illegally. Now we have all been separated and assigned to individual detention centers all over the country. #heartsick

Reactions: Sad 2


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## MintyWood826 (Jun 26, 2018)

BungeePholcid said:
The lid's off!!!!! Let's go cliff jumping! Quick before the human can react! Ah yessssssss freeeeeeeedom! Now I can keep confusing the human with low webs when the rest of my kind makes them high!
#SpiderCanBungeeJumpToo #FreeThePholcids

Reactions: Funny 1


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## PanzoN88 (Jun 26, 2018)

MoptheBalbopilosum:

My keeper named me Mop.... OH THE AGONY!!!!!! 

BroomTheBalbopilosum:

I know how Mop feels, the name Broom isn't going to attract the mature Male of my dreams.

E_pachyous_LaReinaDeLosDiablos:

I want cricket flesh.... feed me, feed me

Bschroederi:

Worms, crickets, worms, crickets, worms, crickets 

P.atrichromatusMeat:

Oh man I had too much to eat last night, I w as noted my keepers tweezers, but he wouldn't let me t asked them, talk about being stingy.


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## MintyWood826 (Jun 27, 2018)

Pinktoeclimber:
SOS!!! The LPS people think I'm terrestrial! Help me!


#savetheavics

Reactions: Funny 2


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## MintyWood826 (Jun 30, 2018)

Pinktoeclimber:

I've found some politics!



Tim Benzedrine said:


> "Vote for Donald Redrump". Make Arachnids Great Again!"





dord said:


> *Donald Redrump:*
> The web just got 10 inches higher.


Says the MEXICAN red rump!


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## Arthroverts (Jul 1, 2018)

MintyWood826 said:


> Pinktoeclimber:
> SOS!!! The LPS people think I'm terrestrial! Help me!
> View attachment 279262
> 
> #savetheavics


SpeedToe said:
Awh, I feel for ya. Thankfully I cam' frum a breeder who cared for his stuff, although that communal housin' could be brutal...
#savetheavics


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## Arthroverts (Jul 10, 2018)

Tim Benzedrine said:


> Looking for my children. We were all brown boxed and crossed the border illegally. Now we have all been separated and assigned to individual detention centers all over the country. #heartsick


GoldenKnee said:
Wait a min, hw did yo create an accont wthout a usrname?
#Cra-Zy

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Jul 11, 2018)

SpeedToe said:
My humidity is down agin'....GAHH HELP HELP HELP! HUMIDITY!
#savetheavics #MISTME!


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## Wolfspidurguy (Jul 11, 2018)

Skittlestheavic: looking amazing after molted and finaly got to eat. GBB who?

Reactions: Like 1


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## Wolfspidurguy (Jul 11, 2018)

Arthroverts said:


> MexicanRadKnee said:
> There's that hacker again! Now, I shall target that account with my new program and block it Forever! Whah Hah Hah!
> #BegoneHacker!


Notahuman: im sure you tiny eight legs can really code up a storm

Reactions: Agree 1


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## Arthroverts (Jul 13, 2018)

Wolfspidurguy said:


> Notahuman: im sure you tiny eight legs can really code up a storm


MexicanRadKnee said:
So, Notahuman, how many legs do you have then? Six? A hundred? I can never count the legs on millipedes and centipedes (I think they just have too many in the first place!)
#EightLeggedWonder


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## Ultum4Spiderz (Jul 16, 2018)

T would program itself as a virus and take over the world !!!! Ahhhh
It would make an account named
Ilike dubia : and say I ate til I exploded


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## Arthroverts (Jul 16, 2018)

Ultum4Spiderz said:


> T would program itself as a virus and take over the world !!!! Ahhhh
> It would make an account named
> Ilike dubia : and say I ate til I exploded


MexicanRadKnee said:
What!? Another human on Fangbook? How?! Don't you have to complete a ReCricketcha to create an account? I thought only arthropods could do that! ARGHGH!
#Blacklist #Blockthe2legged! #HELP

Reactions: Funny 2


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## MintyWood826 (Jul 16, 2018)

Arthroverts said:


> MexicanRadKnee said:
> What!? Another human on Fangbook? How?! Don't you have to complete a ReCricketcha to create an account? I thought only arthropods could do that! ARGHGH!
> #Blacklist #Blockthe2legged! #HELP


Pinktoeclimber:

Oh no! Our secret network is being compromised! The humans have been watching us too closely!

#PANICPANICPANIC #Blockthe2legged! #eatbugsalways

Reactions: Like 1


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## Wolfspidurguy (Jul 16, 2018)

Arthroverts said:


> MexicanRadKnee said:
> So, Notahuman, how many legs do you have then? Six? A hundred? I can never count the legs on millipedes and centipedes (I think they just have too many in the first place!)
> #EightLeggedWonder


Notahuman: pfff eight of course heh heh (oh no there catching on)

Reactions: Informative 1


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## MintyWood826 (Jul 17, 2018)

Wolfspidurguy said:


> Notahuman: pfff eight of course heh heh (oh no there catching on)


Pinktoeclimber:

Hello? Is this RoachSecurity? 
#suspicious

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Jul 24, 2018)

TheWebMaster said:
Since when doz a tarantula call for a Roach for security?!?!?
Stick with the WebMasters WebWall Program to keep hackers and humans out...
#Stickwiththebest #WebWall #Security #suspicious

Reactions: Helpful 1


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## MintyWood826 (Jul 24, 2018)

Arthroverts said:


> TheWebMaster said:
> Since when doz a tarantula call for a Roach for security?!?!?
> Stick with the WebMasters WebWall Program to keep hackers and humans out...
> #Stickwiththebest #WebWall #Security #suspicious


Pinktoeclimbersaid:

Oh so that's why the humans kept compromising everything! I gotta get it!
#WebWall #security #goodidea


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## Ultum4Spiderz (Jul 25, 2018)

P Metallica “would say save my people out in the wilderness.”
Haplos would say “ stop eating my cousins “.
They would build a wall to keep humans out of there lands.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Arthroverts (Jul 26, 2018)

MrsHanumavilasumica said:
Tot-ally agree P. metallica, save my people too!
#SavethePokies #TightSpot #dangerouswaters #hanumavilasumica_and_metallica_forever

Reactions: Like 1


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## Arthroverts (May 20, 2019)

MexicanRadKnee said:
So, has the server been down a long time? I feel like I haven't used Fangbook in forever!
#backonline

MrsHanumavilasumica said:
Yay! The server is back!
#backonline #savethepokies

The Imperative Imperator said:
Ach! Were back! You thought you'd got rid of us two-leggeds, but were back! Ha ha!
#backonline #ReturnofTheEight-Leggeds

GoldenKnee said:
Hurrah!
#returnofFangbook

SpeedToe said:
Fangbook has been resurrected! Golly, ths is graet!
#backonline #ressurectionofFangbook

Reactions: Like 1


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## MintyWood826 (May 20, 2019)

Pinktoeclimber said:
Whew, how long has it been? Hello Fangbook!!
#goodtobeback #backonline


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## Arthroverts (May 20, 2019)

Bristles said:
(Reply to Pinktoeclimber)
It's been too long. 
I'm so happy, I can talk with my T friends again! No more listening to my human try and figure out if I'm G. porteri or G. rosea! Huzzah and hurrah!
On another note, anybody been having problems with mealworms burrowing too fast? It's like my human is teasing me!
#goodtobeback #backonline #burrowingmealworms

Reactions: Like 1


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## Arthroverts (May 21, 2019)

SpeedToe said:
Bristles, whatcha do is ya web up yer hide and try and get the two-leggeds to drop em' on yer web. That way tem' mealworms get caught up in yer wb and can't bury temselves. Wrks for me.
#burrowingmealworms #getdemworms


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## Arthroverts (May 26, 2019)

SpeedToe said:
My. Humidity. Is. Down. Again.
FOr the SEcond TIme THis MOnth!
C'mon!! I can't live like this!?!?!
#savetheavics!


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## GalacticFurai (May 26, 2019)

Welcome *Darcietheemo, and theBrain *to the chat!
Darcietheemo: so theres this human that moved my leaf when I wasn't looking and now I wont look at him anymore

theBrain: hahaha, its been two weeks since I got new clothes and I'm still hiding from hooman


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## Andrea82 (May 26, 2019)

Arthroverts said:


> SpeedToe said:
> My. Humidity. Is. Down. Again.
> FOr the SEcond TIme THis MOnth!
> C'mon!! I can't live like this!?!?!
> #savetheavics!


@SpeedToe
Dude, your humidity is fine. You on one of your hypochondriac episodes again? Don't believe everything the HumanNet tells you!
Regards, MetallicToes

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Andrea82 (May 26, 2019)

GalacticFurai said:


> Welcome *Darcietheemo, and theBrain *to the chat!
> Darcietheemo: so theres this human that moved my leaf when I wasn't looking and now I wont look at him anymore
> 
> theBrain: hahaha, its been two weeks since I got new clothes and I'm still hiding from hooman


@theBrain
That's cute. 
Regards QueenBaboontheFirst.


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## MintyWood826 (May 26, 2019)

NhanduNation said:
Bwahaha, I let my human take a picture of me today. Little do they know I'm just teasing them before becoming a pet hole!

Reactions: Like 1


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## Arthroverts (May 27, 2019)

SpeedToe said:
Right, its ok, I'm okay, humidity is fine, ventulation is fine. Breath in, breath ou...how do ya take a deep breath with book lungs?

Bristles said:
@NhanduNation, I'm the same way, but only when it comes to food...
#fastlikeaporteri


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## Rigor Mortis (May 28, 2019)

RollerSkateKate said:
Do you guys ever have that kind of day where all you wanna do is chill on the wall? Sometimes I could stay on the wall all day lol. 
#arboreallikethat

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Andrea82 (May 28, 2019)

Rigor Mortis said:


> RollerSkateKate said:
> Do you guys ever have that kind of day where all you wanna do is chill on the wall? Sometimes I could stay on the wall all day lol.
> #arboreallikethat


RollerSkateKate
Ohmygosh where did you find EIGHT of the same skates in the same size??! 
Love
MetallicToes!

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Rigor Mortis (May 28, 2019)

Andrea82 said:


> RollerSkateKate
> Ohmygosh where did you find EIGHT of the same skates in the same size??!
> Love
> MetallicToes!


RollerSkateKate said:
@ MetallicToes
It took FOREVER!! My human keeper had to custom order them. They kept sending ones in sling sizes and I am NOT a sling.

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Arthroverts (May 29, 2019)

MrsHanumavilasumica said:
@RollerSkateKate, I *totally* know what you mean! The farthest I got was the shelf though, my humon is pokie quick! Darn catch cup...

BTW, looking for a male that might be willing to hang out sometime, I can't repopulate my species alone!!

GoldenKnee said:
One word: Waxworms. Got some tonight and they are soooo delicious! More, give me more!
#waxwormfeast

The Imperative Imperator said:
Got sum supers tonight, I can't complane. Dos anybody have problems wth this white dust the humon sprinkles on the supers though? Tastes awful.
#superwormsplainandsimple


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## Andrea82 (May 29, 2019)

@goldenknee
I tried a waxworm once after I had a really tough molt, but the freakin thing blew up all over my face and I had to spend an extra hour cleaning the stuff of my face. 
MetallicToes

Reactions: Like 1


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## Arthroverts (May 29, 2019)

GoldenKnee said:
Your human must have gotten them from a big box chain store, those things are awful! My human gets them from a fishing supply store, so they are much leaner but still delicious!
#waxworms


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## Arthroverts (May 31, 2019)

BigBoehmi said:
Yo yo yo! any other Brachypelmas in the house?
#brachylife

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Teal (May 31, 2019)

Rigor Mortis said:


> RollerSkateKate said:
> Do you guys ever have that kind of day where all you wanna do is chill on the wall? Sometimes I could stay on the wall all day lol.
> #arboreallikethat


BuckingBrachy replied to RollerSkateKate:
Saaaaame, girl! My human is like, "Get down off that wall!" and I'm all, "You're not my real mom!" 
#IAmRuckusTheRebel #chillinlikeavillain



Arthroverts said:


> BigBoehmi said:
> Yo yo yo! any other Brachypelmas in the house?
> #brachylife


BuckingBrachy replied to BigBoehmi:
Whoop whoop! What up broski! 
#BrachyBrosFoLife

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Moebius (May 31, 2019)

BadassB.Vagans said:
Sometimes I let the biped get close to me. I don't pose for him... I just slowly stalk over and try to take a bite to screw with him while giving me water. He still tries to put his hand into my territory, so I've gotten into slowly creeping up at him and doing what I do at home at the edge of my territory. Same result, still puts his hand in my stuff. I think they're a pretty stupid species, they don't seem to learn from repeated events, and my web all over as "DIS IS MINE HUMAN" sign is apparently illegible, they can't even understand utterly clear language. He bumped me once, and I sued for sexual harassment; he didn't understand my urticating setae were a formal, legal complaint. Stupider and stupider...
#BipedsHaveDefectiveBrains

Reactions: Creative 1


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## MintyWood826 (May 31, 2019)

Rigor Mortis said:


> RollerSkateKate said:
> Do you guys ever have that kind of day where all you wanna do is chill on the wall? Sometimes I could stay on the wall all day lol.
> #arboreallikethat


Pinktoeclimber said: 
@RollerSkateKate
Wait, is it that not normal??  I LIVE on the wall. XD
#AnActualArboreal

*Pinktoeclimber has changed their username to Aviculariaclimber*

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Rigor Mortis (Jun 1, 2019)

RollerSkateKate said:
I'm starting to think that the human keeper forgot about me. It's been FOREVER since I got a cricket, I'm definitely gonna starve in here. #FreeKate

DorisTheSpider said:
Not only does moulting SUCK, but it sucks even more when I'm trying to get some beauty sleep and the keeper puts light in my room, like go away! I'm trying to harden over here!

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Vanisher (Jun 1, 2019)

The spider would say: Look, i am on the webb again!

Reactions: Funny 1


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## MintyWood826 (Jun 3, 2019)

BrachyAnne said:
I'm now constructing a shrine that touches the bottom of the plastic sky. Gotta keep those humans guessing!
#architect #renovation #homesweethome


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## Arthroverts (Jun 4, 2019)

BumblingBumba said:
Hey all! New to the Fangbook, but I'm here! Probably one of the last few _Bumba cabocla's_ to make it out of Brasilia legally!

Anyway, totally agree @BrachyAnne! I like to freak out my keeper by not constructing a tunnel, webbing, or anything, I just bury myself in the dirt, and he can't find me! Once, I set up my molt to look like I was dead, and then hid in the dirt; keeper looked through all of the cage before he saw one of my toe's sticking up against the plastic, arggh! I almost had him...
#freakyTarantulas #can'tfindme #hidelikeyou'veneverbefore #homesweethome

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Jun 7, 2019)

MexicanRadKnee said:
*sigh*
Day 17 without a cricket...
*sigh*


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## MintyWood826 (Jun 8, 2019)

NhanduNation said:
Currently having a staring contest with my waterdish. I think I'm winning so far, but there's no end in sight.
#punintended #staringcontest

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Jun 8, 2019)

MexicanRadKnee said:
I am locked in on a staring contest with a cricket...as soon as he twitches an antenna, I'll pounce!
#staringcontest #waitinggame

BigBoehmi said:
You think that's tough? Try webbing up the water dish. It cleans itself! Every. Single. Time.
Anyway, good luck @NhanduNation! 
#GoNhandu! #staringcontest


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## Arthroverts (Jun 10, 2019)

MexicanRadKnee said:
Still locked in on my staring contest with this cricket, as soon as he twitches as antenna, I'll pounce!

Whoopty do doo...did anybody know staring down a cricket takes this long?
#waitinggame


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## Rigor Mortis (Jun 12, 2019)

DorisTheSpider said:
I hope the human keeper realises that I hate crickets. They're gross and I'm never going to eat them.

WinnieBago said:
Uh oh. The water dish is low. When the water dish gets low there's a huge earthquake and the sky opens up to refill it and it is terrible. Awful.

Reactions: Funny 5


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## Arthroverts (Jun 14, 2019)

Bristles said:
Know how ya feel @WinnieBago. I just take to filling it with dirt, webbing it over, and zealously defending it from the human. Whenever I molt or eat though the human sneaks through, does his little earthquake thing and cleans it. Argh ! Hands off my dish!
#MYdish


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## Starbeaver (Jun 14, 2019)

Sir Digby said:
The troublesome water dish is thwarting my plans with the help of the authorities. The authorities keep emptying my sub dish and filling it with water. I am trapped in an endless cycle.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Katiekooleyes (Jun 14, 2019)

My Avic sp peru purple: 

Feeling cute today. Might web up the lid, might not. Teehee

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Rigor Mortis (Jun 14, 2019)

Side note, I love that we all give different names to humans from the spiders' perspectives. 

RollerSkateKate said:
Rain keeps happening. I will need to climb so I don't drown. My record is 14 hours in one spot, hoping to beat it this weekend.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Jun 19, 2019)

The Web Master said:
Good to see all the activity with Fangbook back up! We are still in the process of "dehumaning" the software, so please report any problems associated with your account on here. We are also working on starting our new video project, "Fangbook Live", which we plan on rolling out sometime in the near future.

Sincerely,

The Fangbook Team

Reactions: Funny 1


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## krbshappy71 (Jun 19, 2019)

Itsy Bitsy said:
There's a webcam in front of my house. No joke!  Stalk much?! Gawd I hate my neighbors.  As if I believe they're "just bird watching".

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Arthroverts (Jun 25, 2019)

SpeedToe said:
Hello world, goodbye world...
I've got one, maybe two more molts before I become a mature male, and must seek to suffer the slings and webbings of the outrageous fortune of finding a mate, and then, to likely end my troubles in the bowels of some angry female. Ah, but life is too short for us pink toe's! Why not be an Aphonopelma, and live on into my twenties, or yet, to be a trapdoor spider, and contemplate the meaning of life behind my thick web door for a half century! 
But no, I must be strong, and bear the rage and rejection of the females, who shout out, "You Shall Not Pass! Begone Vermin!", and to struggle on, vainly seeking those who would carry my offspring, and yet die before they even reach the age to have a Fangbook account. Even the crickets who sustain me have it better then I, feeding and relishing life, before passing on quickly, while I still must strive for the farthest female at the end of my web, knowing not my fate. And then when I do find the female to bear my offspring, does she welcome me? No! I must convince her, and then when we are finished I am turned out like a begging roach! Dost Thou Hast Wronged Me, Cruel Fate! Oi, to sleep, to dream in an everlasting silence, but even then, what dreams could pierce the fog of my fear and overwhelming instinct?
But do not count me out yet, as I, SpeedToe, shall conquer the darkest hole and strive for the farthest female! I Can, I Must, I Will!

Wish me luck and stamina,

SpeedToe
#maturemale #moltingout

Reactions: Like 3


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## Arthroverts (Jun 29, 2019)

MrsHanumavilasumica said:
Stop it @SpeedToe! Your making me feel bad about the past three males I rejected (and may or may not have eaten).
#tobeafemale

BigBoehmi said:
I know @MrsHanumavilasumica! What can we do to make the males feel more welcome? Short of not eating them, I mean.
#tobeafemale #maturemale

Reactions: Funny 1


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## MintyWood826 (Jun 29, 2019)

BrachyAnne said:
I made my molting mat above the ground. It was great! I love floating furniture!
#moltinluxury

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Jul 1, 2019)

PurpleMeansGo said:
Hello all, its me, everyone's favorite Avic, _Avicularia purpurea_! Rockin' 5th instar, watch out world!

Got the introductions out of the way, @BrachyAnne, whatchu talkin' bout'? I make my molting mat above the ground every time, at least when all these webs don't get in the way. I'm gonna have to ask @Mista Incei down the shelf bout' how he does it with all his webs.
#wannamoltinluxury #avicproblems


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## Arthroverts (Jul 2, 2019)

MexicanRadKnee said: Fiinnaallyy, I got that cricket! Wha ha aha! Wa ha ha!
#cricketmealtogo

GoldenKnee said:
Getting ready to molt, hopefully gonna make it to sub-adult with this one. 
I'm counting the days till 0 hour...wish me luck! Focus, focus, _focus..._
#moltingout #timetomolt


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## Arthroverts (Aug 11, 2019)

SpeedToe said:
I molted! And I'm not mature! Ha ha! It's too good to be true! I'm not mature! Hurrah! Throw one of those crickets this way Human!


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## Arthroverts (Aug 12, 2019)

Bristles said:
Browsing ArachnoNews.com, and I found pictures of an arachnid internment camp! What do we do? How do we stop this injustice? Down with the unfair treatment of tarantulas!
#savethetarantulas #arachnidjustice #Ilikecrickets



Alpha Albopilosum said:
Got a new drone today, check out this photo of me threat posing the glass! OBT's have nothin' on me!
#fierceNewWorld #toocool #threatpose

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Arthroverts (Aug 28, 2019)

Crikey said:
Hello? Anybody out there?
#justacricket


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## Uial (Aug 28, 2019)

PrettyKneeT: Yes, Crickey, I'm here. Where are you lockated? Let's meet up. I have a really nice place, floor to ceiling windows and a refreshing, shallow pool. We could sit by the water and talk all night. Or if you want, bring a few friends and we'll make it a party. #hungryforcompany

Reactions: Funny 3


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## Arthroverts (Aug 28, 2019)

Crikey said:
Currently roaming the carpet underneath the racks; I just escaped being fed to this horrible monster! It's so good to have another cricket to talk to (clever username BTW; I should do that myself to keep the tarantulas from thinking I'm a cricket! Ha ha!). Where are you?
#friendatlast

Reactions: Like 1


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## Uial (Aug 28, 2019)

PrettyKneeT: Indeed I am definitely not the Tarantula, and I am for sure a pretty cricket lady. But I have been captured by the monster and taken to its hide. Please rescue me. I will distract the Tarantula so it'll be a breeze to free me. Just walk straight into the hide, I'm right in the back. I will reward you handsomely, and I will make you the best cricket food. Also, we'll have lots of kids. Just please come soon, the tarantula is looking at me hungrily. 
#rescuetheprettycricket

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Asgiliath (Aug 29, 2019)

BigScarytheStirmi:  Just another day. Hungry and annoyed but I think I looked cute here. Probably delete later

Reactions: Like 2


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## Asgiliath (Aug 29, 2019)

BronzeBabe:  yeah, I’m out here posting booty pics on main. <3


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## Arthroverts (Sep 3, 2019)

*Generated Response: User "Crikey" is no longer active. Please do not tag. Reason: Deceased, presumably after consumption by arachnid.*
*Thank you.*

*CIA (Cricket Intelligence Agency) said:*
*The person Longjumper Charles Crickey recently disappeared, and is presumed the victim of an insofar unidentified arachnid. The CIA is working hard to determine the facts concerning the case and to apprehend the culprit, if possible. Anyone with information regarding this case is urged to call the Cricket Intelligence Agency on our toll-free line at 9009-0099. For those wishing to remain anonymous, please call 0909-9900.*
*Many thanks,*
*The CIA*

Reactions: Funny 2


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## MintyWood826 (Sep 3, 2019)

NhanduNation said:
Wait, are they investigating deaths of an exotic food now?

Reactions: Like 1


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## Arthroverts (Sep 3, 2019)

*CIA (Cricket Intelligence Agency) said:*
*No, Mr. Crikey was of the race Acheta domesticus, naturalized and common throughout North America, Europe, and the wider world.*


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## Arthroverts (Sep 9, 2019)

Bristles said:
I just realized that there is a goliath sized super venomous teleporting ravenous photophobic crazed grey and black and white and yellow spider that is going banana's that is not my reflection on the other side of the plastic...PANIC! 





Or is that @MrsHanumavilasumica?

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Nov 11, 2019)

MexicanRadKnee said:
Never thought I'd have to do this. So, I molted, right? So I'm just chillin' in my hide with my molt by my side, and the keeper comes by and looks at me like I'm cheese on rye, and in he comes with his nasty metal grabbers for my molt, and you know what I said? "Ye jes' can't 'ave her!"
And then I nailed him with my bristles. His face was priceless ! Oh crickets and cockroaches, I can still see him itching like crazy from here, and that says a lot since my eyes ain't too good!
#MYmolt #moltingbeauty #bristles

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Nov 11, 2019)

BumblingBumba said:
Darned Dubia's! Where'd that mealworm go?!?
#mealworms #timetoeat


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## Feral (Nov 12, 2019)

ShesAlbopilAwesome said:

Is anybody else overdue for a molt? *sigh* I feel like my highlights just aren't popping anymore.
#frostedandfierce #farrahfawcettisflossin




AchyBrachyHeart said:

Howdy, y'all! Who wants to do some eight-steppin' with me tonight?

Reactions: Like 3 | Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Nov 12, 2019)

The Imperative Imperator said:
@AchyBrachyHeart, depends...do ya min' a scorp fer a partner?


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## MintyWood826 (Nov 12, 2019)

BrachyAnn said:

Dang it I have to change my username. What was wrong with Brachypelma? I don't know how to spell my own species 
#FirstEnclosureProblems

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 2


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## Feral (Nov 12, 2019)

Arthroverts said:


> The Imperative Imperator said:
> @AchyBrachyHeart, depends...do ya min' a scorp fer a partner?


AchyBrachyHeart said:
If you wanna scoot eight boots with me, darlin', then let's dance!

Just don't break my heart... I just don't think he'd understand.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## MintyWood826 (Nov 12, 2019)

AviculariaClimber said:

@AchyBrachyHeart no no no! Scorps don't have ballerina toes like me

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Feral (Nov 12, 2019)

MintyWood826 said:


> AviculariaClimber said:
> 
> @AchyBrachyHeart no no no! Scorps don't have ballerina toes like me


AchyBrachyHeart said:

Honey, as long as a cowboy or cowgirl can dance, that's all that matters to me.
Or you could dance with my pal, CowPokie. He's lightening fast, he'll twirl your tutu!
So walk those little pink pointe shoes over here, the next dance is for you. Yeehaw!

Reactions: Like 1


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## Colorado Ts (Nov 12, 2019)

FlashDance said:

C. cyaneopubescens here and I have to say, if they open my home again and destroy the upper levels of my web one more time...

.....this threat posturing is gonna get real

Reactions: Like 2


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## Brachyfan (Nov 12, 2019)

Mr Grumpy: I would post on fangbook but my keeper would probably get banned from arachnoboards.

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Arthroverts (Nov 12, 2019)

GoldenKnee:
@FlashDance, don't threat pose, they just think its cool and snap a photo to spread it to the rest of their friends (cruel, just cruel). Whatcha do is give them a good dose of bristles, to the face if you can, and watch em' itch. They won't mess with you no more. Take it from me. I think @NhanduNation did that too and scored like, three direct hits! Hall of Famer over there...
#bristles #MYenclosure

Reactions: Like 4


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## Astron (Nov 12, 2019)

*P.Striata"tahell"*, please add a profile picture so that friends can recognise you

You have a new friend suggestion: *Thats<3Hamorii* 

*Salma "Pious" Cambridge'i *updated their Education information

You have a new friend suggestion: *Sn4ilMunch3r*

*Trinnie Olive* changed their name to *InceiWinceiSpider*

You have 3 new Page suggestions including *Grinding Grammies*:

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 1


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## AlexWae (Nov 12, 2019)

Fluffy said:
My human says i'm a versicolor.. but when i see my reflection in the window, i just look monochrome...
I know i'm still a youngster,  but it makes me feel  really blue.
Think i'll crunch down another cricket
#Foodhelpswhenblue


Passmethe bottle Blue said:
I'm feeling left out..my human took such nice Portrait pics of me, but i can't create An account on Instagrammostola.. anyone here on fangbook can help me a leg?

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Arthroverts (Nov 15, 2019)

SpeedToe said:
Well hey @fluffy! At least your not a penultimate male Avic! Enjoy these blue times my friend; when you mature, the world suddenly feels so much bigger, male or no...
#moltingout #penultimate #theendcometh


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## Arthroverts (Jan 8, 2020)

GenieGenic said:
well, this is a sad introduction. figured I'd never need Fangbook cos' I got all my friends. but then I tried to eat the keeper's finger, and they put me in tarantula jail, wherever that is. i think it's just a couple racks down from everybody, but the centipedes don't talk much and the cricket seems less crickety. anyway i'm here, i'm lonely, help me Fangbook fellows...
#lonelyjuvie

MexicanRadKnee said:
Spood, are you serious? What'd you go and do a thing like that for?

GenieGenic said:
jus' cos' i thought the finger was food, and it was tan kinda like the crikets, so I jes' thought it was food, ya know?
#foodforthought

GoldenKnee said:
Sorry that happened to you, but you had that coming. It's why I never liked being next to a genic in the sling vials...looked like they were gonna come right through the plastic and get you! They always seemed to know when I was in pre-molt too and start really trying to fang that little translucent wall...
#freakygenic #foodforthought

GenieGenic said:
woah woah woah, don't judge spood! we just have a better developed sense of food...
#jus'hungry #foodforthought

GoldenKnee said: 
Sounds like an over-developed sense of food to me...
#toohungry #foodforthought
MexicanRadKnee agrees with this.

Thanks,

Arthroverts

Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 3


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## Rigor Mortis (Jan 8, 2020)

RollerSkateKate said:
OK, I am so done with crickets. Tried to eat one of those little jerks yesterday and it refused to die so I had to kick hairs at it to teach it a lesson. You think @ PegLegPeggy has problems with mealworms?! I bet not.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## The Grym Reaper (Jan 8, 2020)



Reactions: Like 1 | Funny 4


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## Arthroverts (Apr 17, 2020)

GenieGenic said:
well, I finially got out of tarantula jail, tunrs out it was jus' a rack down from everyone else. i got sooooo bored down thar though, i actully started a secrt handshake with @speedhani, an' he's got like a million legs...
An'way, Im hungry.* Feed me<----* you imbecile of a keeper!!!
#freedom #FEEDME!


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## Asgiliath (Apr 18, 2020)

@BigScaryStirmi:  keeper gave me a giant blue worm! Thought we looked cute together

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arthroverts (Apr 19, 2020)

Asgiliath said:


> @BigScaryStirmi:  keeper gave me a giant blue worm! Thought we looked cute together
> View attachment 340754


GoldenKnee said:
Nice pic @BigScaryStirmi! I personally don't prefer them, they just seem too cold and squishy. I'll have to get a pic of myself chowing down on a super worm one of these days...

See-mani-of-us said:
Still think my profile photo is cooler ;;;; )...
#biggermealbetterphoto

Reactions: Like 2


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## ColeopteraC (Apr 19, 2020)

ChillChilobrachys said:

Hi all, thanks for helping me in recovering from that breakup. He was a really, really heavy meal.  Did nothing for my abdomen... Will take every day at a time now
#heartbrokentheraphosids

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Asgiliath (Apr 19, 2020)

Arthroverts said:


> GoldenKnee said:
> Nice pic @BigScaryStirmi! I personally don't prefer them, they just seem too cold and squishy. I'll have to get a pic of myself chowing down on a super worm one of these days...
> 
> See-mani-of-us said:
> ...


@BigScaryStirmi said:

@See-mani-of-us you appear to be a juvenile -- maybe some day you and @GoldenKnee will grow up and have a more sophisticated palate. 

#hornwormsoversupers


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## Arthroverts (May 12, 2020)

Asgiliath said:


> @BigScaryStirmi said:
> 
> @See-mani-of-us you appear to be a juvenile -- maybe some day you and @GoldenKnee will grow up and have a more sophisticated palate.
> 
> #hornwormsoversupers


See-mani-of-us said:
You seem to forget that despite our small size, our slow growth allows us to ponder the mysteries of life (such as why in the world is there only one variety of cricket fed to us??? Our cousins in Europe get like fifteen for stridulating out loud!) and become wiser than many faster-growing species...and with that wisdom I still deduce that my meal made for the cooler photo...
#biggermealbetterphoto


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## Arthroverts (Jul 27, 2020)

The Fangbook Team said:
We are sorry to report that the user "SpeedToe" has been confirmed as deceased. Cause of death is currently unverified, though we have reports of him falling prey as he inseminated one last female; he seems to have mated with five in total, thus fulfilling his call to reproduce.
Give it up for this fantastic contributor to our dear platform. He will be missed. We hope just one of his children will be half like he was.
#condolences #MMsRock #maturemale4ever

Bristles said:
*clap clap clap*
#MMsRock #maturemale4ever

GoldenKnee said:
I'm so sorry to read this :::;(. 
#condolences

See-mani-of-us said:
He will be missed; after his fourth female he gave me some tips for when I hook out...o7 SpeedToe.
#MMsRock #maturemale4ever #condolences #maturemales

TheImperativeImperator said:
Ach! SpeedToe my mate u will be missed...
Times like this really makes me glad 2 b a scorp.
#SpeedToe4ever #tarantulaMMs4ever

Reactions: Sad 1


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## Tigger (Jul 27, 2020)

Well, if they followed our example they would use it to fish for sympathy by playing the victim, convict other tarantulas of crimes without due process, virtue signal for internet head pats and destroy the careers of any tarantulas who do not share their political beliefs. Twitter is cancer.


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## Arthroverts (Jul 27, 2020)

Tigger said:


> Well, if they followed our example they would use it to fish for sympathy by playing the victim, convict other tarantulas of crimes without due process, virtue signal for internet head pats and destroy the careers of any tarantulas who do not share their political beliefs. Twitter is cancer.


MexicanRadKnee said:
Gah! Another two-legged!?! @The Web Master @The Fangbook Team, what the cricket is going on here???
GoldenKnee likes this. MrsHanumavilasumica agrees with this. Bristles is saddened by this.

GoldenKnee said:
Did Fangbook not update or something? I thought the ReCricketcha blocked two-leggeds?
#security #BlockThe2Legged
The Fangbook Team likes this.

PurpleMeansGo said:
What's the deal with "two-leggeds"? I thought they were called humons or something like that?
#twoleggedsorhumons? #questions #security


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## Arthroverts (Jul 28, 2020)

Bristles said:
Check out this nonsense everyone...kinda funny to think that they run the world.





						Come to think of it....
					

You know, come to think of it has anyone ever seen a tarantula molt in the wild...? How do we know they even do this out there? I’m not so convinced.  Is molting just a delusion and hallucination in our collective arachnid unconscious used to worry newbies to death and frustrate old keepers with...



					arachnoboards.com
				



#Cra-zy #BlockThe2Legged #tarantulafakenews


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## Arthroverts (Nov 10, 2020)

TheLastCurumim said:
Uhh...hello? Anybody still use this? 
#allalone #thelastofme


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## CommanderBacon (Nov 10, 2020)

My loaner male B boehmei: 

THOT drummin' on my walls. Pooped in my water dish. I heard chicks are into that, so maybe we'll get some digits soon.

Reactions: Funny 2


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## Smotzer (Nov 10, 2020)

Arthroverts said:


> Bristles said:
> Check out this nonsense everyone...kinda funny to think that they run the world.
> 
> 
> ...


Glad to see my troll made it into this thread too     
@tarantulafakenews

Reactions: Like 1


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## Arthroverts (Nov 10, 2020)

Smotzer said:


> Glad to see my troll made it into this thread too
> @tarantulafakenews


Bristles said:
GAH! Another two-legged?? How?!?

The Fangbook Team said:
That's strange...our algorithms are supposed to block anything remotely similar to a _Homo_ post.

TheLastCurumim said:
Ah, so that's why nobody uses Fangbook anymore. Privacy issues+toxic two-leggeds! Maybe we should just go over and crash the cricket's party over on Insectgram?
#privacy #Fangbookwhy


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## Arthroverts (Jun 18, 2021)

Bristles said:
I am beginning to wonder if we should just tell the two-leggeds why we dump substrate in the water dishes, I am seriously beginning to get annoyed at having all my brew dumped out every time!

BrewingBrachy said:
Shh! They didn't ask, so we don't tell nuthin...
#keepthesecret

BonnetinaBrewing said:
I disagree. If we ever want the humons to knock it off, they have to know! Otherwise they can keep hiding behind the "why does my T dump sub in the water dish?" question.

TheLastCurumim said:
Gah! That term again! "T", so demeaning and derogatory! What are we, letters??
#stopthehate

Reactions: Funny 2


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