# Some common T sense.



## Warren Bautista (Dec 29, 2008)

1. If it's moving, there's something wrong.
2. If it's upside down, it's molting, smart one.
3. Don't put a freakin' sponge on the water dish.
4. G. roseas like it dry, duh.
5. OBT stands for Orange Bitey Thing in my dictionary.
6. Ever itch after handling your Red Knee? Those are called urticating hairs.
7. Beginner T equals NW, advanced T equals OW.
8. Talkenlate04 has many, many, many tarantulas.
9. Robc owns at making enclosures.
10. If the nature boy tells you to get an S. calceatum, don't, just don't.
11. Tarantulas are not necessarily okay together, except for H. gigas and H. incei.
12. Crickets = bad, Roaches = good.
13. Pet holes are also known as Haplopelma sp.
14. Pet rocks are also known as Grammostola sp.
15. Pet webs are also known as umm, many sp.
16. Yo momma so fat, Sir Mixalot decided he didn't like big butts. 
17. If you get bit by an Old World T, it will be painful.




Feel free to add more. I was bored.:razz:


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## Kris-wIth-a-K (Dec 29, 2008)

Go ahead, poke it....


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## ReMoVeR (Dec 29, 2008)

If it hisses and u put ur finger near the Ts fangs, it will bite.
If u dont see ur T,it is  hidding... or just ran away from the tank.

;O

//Tiago


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## LadyPharaoh (Dec 29, 2008)

Yes, she's cute.  No, you can't pet her.


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## Atreyuhero4 (Dec 29, 2008)

no when it gets up like that it wants a hug


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## SRirish (Dec 29, 2008)

If your mom screams in the middle of the night, one of your T's escaped.


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## Kris-wIth-a-K (Dec 29, 2008)

ha....

No, there is no such thing as hug a T day.


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## codykrr (Dec 29, 2008)

dont let any avicularia species point there but at you! they shoot poo like a water gun!


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## SRirish (Dec 29, 2008)

Just because its called a birdeater doesnt mean you should feed it birds.


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## T_DORKUS (Dec 29, 2008)

Messing with a sick T to see if it can still give you a threat display won't make it better.


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## codykrr (Dec 29, 2008)

if youe T acts likeit has just drank a 5th of booze its dieing so put it in icu!

direct sunlight is not good! but being able to see the light in a room is....

Ts dont need baths! 

if you Ts legs are in its mouth its cleaning itself not dying

if your T is climbing the glass and is not aboreal, it doesnt like the substrate or its just adjusing

if you breed any T have lots of containers! walmart will give you old film canisters for free

and the nature boy lost his mind a long long long time ago..........


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## codykrr (Dec 29, 2008)

pokie does not mean a slow T !  it the very opposite

the white stuff is poop, not eggs or mold

dont let a T blondi flick hairs on really private and sensitive areas(huh nature boy!?) 

if you get bit dont fling the T remember its your fault not theres

and no your T will not pop if over fed they will stop eating when their full

dont play with Ts if your drunk never turns out good


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## CodeWilster (Dec 29, 2008)

Forget the phone if it rings while a T enclosure is open, even with the "pet rocks" and "pet holes".

T's don't like to be petted, poked, misted with a spraybottle, breathed upon, in fact, they probably just want to be left the heck alone.

Don't handle a T. blondi while shirtless.

Don't handle a T. blondi.

Probably shouldn't handle any T.

Spiders do not like ice cream and they are not vegetarians (directed at my girlfriend :wall: )

If it's abdomen turns black it wasn't from a bad cricket.

Pine and cedar are dangerous to spiders.

T molts still have urticating hairs.


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## testdasi (Dec 29, 2008)

The Heartbreak Kid said:


> 1. If it's moving, there's something wrong.
> 7. Beginner T equals NW, advanced T equals OW.


I understand the humour but it's a bit misleading
1. If it's moving all the time, there's something wrong.
7. I don't quite agree. Some NW are VERY defensive. And I don't think it's good to recommend a T.blondi to a beginner - way too many problems.


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## CodeWilster (Dec 29, 2008)

testdasi said:


> I understand the humour but it's a bit misleading
> 1. If it's moving all the time, there's something wrong.
> 7. I don't quite agree. Some NW are VERY defensive. And I don't think it's good to recommend a T.blondi to a beginner - way too many problems.


It's okay dude, I hope nobody comes to this thread for some serious T knowledge so don't worry. It's all about having some fun  Plus, there's ALWAYS exceptions.


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## white_feather (Dec 30, 2008)

personally like the 'Yo Mama' joke the best.


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## Radamanthys (Dec 30, 2008)

Yo mama is so hairy the zoo tought she was a B. Albopilosum.
Yo mama is so ugly a ogre spider wouldn't marry her.
Yo mama tanned so much trying to get better looking that your OBT gone like "Dad, is that you?"

Hmm.. no, i don't like yo mama jokes 

If it itches its NW
If it makes a noise its African
If it runs all over your house before you realize it is Asian

If it tries to kill you, Nature Boy like it
If its difficult to breed, TalkenLate like it
If its too big for any enclosure, Rob like it


If you have a cat and T's you have stories to tell about animals
If you have T's you have stories to tell about friends
If you have a cat you have boring stories to tell about animals 

When you buy a tarantula make an enclosure first!
When you get a tarantula search for it first!
When you send a tarantula by mail, don't write "fragile". It makes the handling of the package worse.


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## SPIDERBYTE (Dec 30, 2008)

In the event that a T's legs loose grip on a climbing surface, the front mounted emergency traction system will deploy


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## Warren Bautista (Dec 30, 2008)

Radamanthys said:


> If it tries to kill you, Nature Boy like it
> If its difficult to breed, TalkenLate like it
> If its too big for any enclosure, Rob like it




Those are good, and they're true, too! lol


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## Warren Bautista (Dec 30, 2008)

If the pet store employee says that males are better and more worth the money, slap him in the back of the head and when there's a lot of people around, scream "Sicko!" and point at him.


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## ThomasH (Dec 30, 2008)

Beer, Drugs and T's don't mix.  Why waste some good dope when you are already drunk? Common sense people!
TBH


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## Warren Bautista (Dec 30, 2008)

Do you really want that Cobalt blue? Ever heard of its reputation as a pet hole? Now you have, so don't get one unless you want a hole that you feed crics. Now go get an L. violaceopes.


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## white_feather (Dec 30, 2008)

Mamas so hairy Bigfoot takes pictures of her.


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## ThomasH (Dec 30, 2008)

The Heartbreak Kid said:


> Do you really want that Cobalt blue? Ever heard of its reputation as a pet hole? Now you have, so don't get one unless you want a hole that you feed crics. Now go get an L. violaceopes.


_Lampropelma violaceopes_ isn't any better. They can be just as reclusive as _Haplopelma lividum._ Some actually think it should be reclassified as a Haplopelma.

TBH


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## Euronymous (Dec 30, 2008)

codykrr said:


> dont let any avicularia species point there but at you! they shoot poo like a water gun!


I thought that tasted kinda funny....


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## Euronymous (Dec 30, 2008)

"I have a 13" T. Blondi"


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## CodeWilster (Dec 30, 2008)

Euronymous said:


> "I have a 13" T. Blondi"


Isn't the world record 11 3/4"?


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## CodeWilster (Dec 30, 2008)

white_feather said:


> Mamas so hairy Bigfoot takes pictures of her.


My B. albopilosum's so "hairy" yo mama and bigfoot ran away 



Radamanthys said:


> When you send a tarantula by mail, don't write "fragile". It makes the handling of the package worse.


Yep and same with "this side up", I don't think the handlers know how to read upside down :wall:  :wall:


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## Euronymous (Dec 30, 2008)

CodeWilster said:


> Isn't the world record 11 3/4"?


"common sense" says it 13" is BS


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## Warren Bautista (Dec 30, 2008)

A synonym for someone who keeps Ts is sexy.


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## codykrr (Dec 30, 2008)

these are just getting good keep em coming.....


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## IrishPolishman (Dec 30, 2008)

When the clerk at Petland tells you the tarantulas are de-venomized, it is a good time to resort to shoplifting and rescue all the ts.


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## Warren Bautista (Dec 30, 2008)

Ceratogyrus are freakin' badass.
It's only because they have horns.
Famous people don't have pet Ts.


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## bobsleaf (Dec 30, 2008)

One tarantula purchase will result in forty further purchases.


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## Warren Bautista (Dec 30, 2008)

Learn the latin names or we _will_ get someone to shank you.


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## Euronymous (Dec 30, 2008)

kissing an OBT is logical.


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## SteelSpider (Dec 30, 2008)

Molts make good earrings!


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## brothaT (Dec 30, 2008)

You have a great shot at winning a staring contest with your T.


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## CodeWilster (Dec 31, 2008)

Euronymous said:


> "common sense" says it 13" is BS


 I get


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## CodeWilster (Dec 31, 2008)

If you are handling your Pokie and you blink then it's gone, your best bet is to try China then go from there.

Keep your T. blondi and L. parahybanas away from small children.

Don't keep your $450 Sun Conure and cage next to your T. blondi's enclosure...too ironic. (I can upload a pic if you want)

Try playing twister with a T.

Avics don't get pedicures.


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## johnharper (Dec 31, 2008)

When dealing with H. Maculata expect the unexpected.

John


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## BamaZ71 (Dec 31, 2008)

CodeWilster said:


> Don't keep your $450 Sun Conure and cage next to your T. blondi's enclosure...too ironic. (I can upload a pic if you want)


Lol, I would like to see that :?


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## Warren Bautista (Dec 31, 2008)

Or you're $1000 macaw next to your T. apophysis


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## ThomasH (Dec 31, 2008)

T's LOOOOOOOOOVE to be pet under the Carapace. Especially OW's like S. calceatum!
TBH


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## Warren Bautista (Dec 31, 2008)

Scorpions are not Tarantulas, but whistling spiders are shabango.


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## codykrr (Jan 1, 2009)

whistling spiders only whistle because they think im a sexy beast....hahaha

if a nuclear bomb goes off and you and your roaches survive, there food

feeding tongs are a highway to your hand....

if you talk to your Ts and they start talking back dont tell anyone...

Ts are not dogs, theu cant play fetch

if you feed your Ts mice keep it a secret, some frown upon it

just remember, dont assume a t wont bite because all can and all will even if there "nice" 

dont eat your Ts, takes to much to fill up

your Ts dont like to cuddle, so no sleeping with them


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## kylecchh (Jan 1, 2009)

Yo mommas so fat, all the L. parahybanas in town began to fast


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## Warren Bautista (Jan 1, 2009)

If you drop your T and you start crying, you will be names honorary pansie of the day.


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## Warren Bautista (May 3, 2009)

Remember this thread?

Oh noes! Mah S. cal bit meh! Darn you, Teh naytcha boi!


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## scar is my t (May 3, 2009)

dont mess with a n. coloratovillisus.
avics love to jump
 this post was made to distract you while i stole your t's....


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## Sathane (May 3, 2009)

Not anymore, apparently.. haha



CodeWilster said:


> Isn't the world record 11 3/4"?





Euronymous said:


> "I have a 13" T. Blondi"


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## Triggerman73 (May 3, 2009)

If your T does back flips when you feed it...it is too fat and excited for food
If your dog eats your T, it thought it was bacon
If your T pees on your hands, don't punt it out the window, no matter how much that shirt meant to you :?


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## Sathane (May 3, 2009)

If that shirt meant so much to you, you woudn't have wiped your hands on it.  



Triggerman73 said:


> If your T does back flips when you feed it...it is too fat and excited for food
> If your dog eats your T, it thought it was bacon
> *If your T pees on your hands, don't punt it out the window, no matter how much that shirt meant to you* :?


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## codykrr (May 4, 2009)

(this acually happened to me) dont try and smash a molt in your hands the remaining fangs will stab you! so does that count as a bite?:wall:


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## Sathane (May 4, 2009)

LOL.  Did you post a bite report?  I think it counts.



codykrr said:


> (this acually happened to me) dont try and smash a molt in your hands the remaining fangs will stab you! so does that count as a bite?:wall:


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## Bosing (May 4, 2009)

P Pulchers are supposedly nice display spiders... NOT.  

should be: P Pulchers create nice display webbings!


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## wedge07 (May 4, 2009)

Sathane said:


> LOL.  Did you post a bite report?  I think it counts.


Too funny!


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## Sky`Scorcher (May 4, 2009)

If you see your T's skin..  No, it didn't explode


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## Neophyte (May 5, 2009)

Vinz101 said:


> If you see your T's skin..  No, it didn't explode


Arachmed..


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## WelshTan (May 5, 2009)

your Tarantula will appreciate u attempting to "floss its fangs" to get rid of that stuck cricket leg hahahahaah


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## Sathane (May 5, 2009)

LOL! Too funny.



Neophyte said:


> Arachmed..


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## Sathane (May 5, 2009)

All Ts love to have their 'hair' brushed and to be scratched under their chelicerae.

If your T runs away from you it's just being playful.  You should amuse it by trying to catch it.

Ts giggle if you cover their eyes and play peek-a-boo with them.

Ts should be bathed in a full tub with a mild solution of No more tears shampoo and water or by using the delicates mode of your washing machine.

Ts should be fed a calcium supplements regularly.  See the following thread for more information. 
http://www.arachnoboards.com/ab/showthread.php?t=152229


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## GiantVinegaroon (May 5, 2009)

Never use a hair straightener on your curly hair tarantula.

Just because it's called an ornamental doesn't mean it's a Christmas tree decoration.

If you buy a _Brachypelma smithi_ sling, be sure to put it in your will.

If you buy a _Brachypelma smithi_ sling with intentions of breeding it when it's older, be sure to teach your child how to breed tarantulas.  It will not be mature until you are long gone.

Green bottle blue is not an alcoholic beverage.


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## jeff1962 (May 5, 2009)

"Green bottle blue is not an alcoholic beverage.'' my favorite thus far.


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## tabor (May 8, 2009)

by the year 2010, at least one member of these forums will be featured on A&E's hit show about addiction "Intervention". Someone's family who truly cares about them will step in in order to save said hobbyist's life because unless they get help they will continue to spend their life savings on tarantulas, and they will starve to death due to spending every waking moment feeding and caring for thousands of hungry mouths.


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## VESPidA (May 10, 2009)

*Kickin it old school style*

OBT = synonymous w/ ODB (Old Dirty Bastard)


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## burmish101 (May 10, 2009)

tabor said:


> by the year 2010, at least one member of these forums will be featured on A&E's hit show about addiction "Intervention". Someone's family who truly cares about them will step in in order to save said hobbyist's life because unless they get help they will continue to spend their life savings on tarantulas, and they will starve to death due to spending every waking moment feeding and caring for thousands of hungry mouths.


I hope its not me!
Wow scotty so funny.


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## Dev (May 11, 2009)

just because your T is bald or balding doesnt mean is old


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## kru008 (May 11, 2009)

.............a cricket bit me today................


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## Luiscifer (May 11, 2009)

jeff1962 said:


> "Green bottle blue is not an alcoholic beverage.'' my favorite thus far.


It isn't a designer colon either!


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## Luiscifer (May 11, 2009)

burmish101 said:


> I hope its not me!
> Wow scotty so funny.


Hello. My name is LU and im a T addict. All together (hellooooo Lu)


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## Sathane (May 11, 2009)

Did you fill out a bite report?  Are you okay?



kru008 said:


> .............a cricket bit me today................


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## wedge07 (May 12, 2009)

kru008 said:


> .............a cricket bit me today................


I heard those are worse than a T bite.    You did consult physician right?


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## Sky`Scorcher (May 12, 2009)

kru008 said:


> .............a cricket bit me today................


lol

I guess thats more reasonable than smashing a molt in your hands


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## Neophyte (May 12, 2009)

Vinz101 said:


> lol
> 
> I guess thats more reasonable than smashing a molt in your hands


Naw, you still take the cake :3


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## Sathane (May 12, 2009)

I have to agree.  
When you can fang yourself with a disembodied pairs of fangs, there isn't much that can top it.



Neophyte said:


> Naw, you still take the cake :3


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## Dave (May 12, 2009)

---Never pop the zit on a Ceratogyrus marshalli---


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## Sathane (May 12, 2009)

LMAO!  :razz: 



Dave said:


> ---Never pop the zit on a Ceratogyrus marshalli---


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## T Enthusiast (May 12, 2009)

power feeding a kb is like George w bush in office: totally useless.


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## kru008 (May 15, 2009)

its always fun to play tag with a 10" T Blondi

FYI.. even rosies have fangs


desert specie Ts loves gravel and sand combo for substrates. they also love being under a 3000 wat heatlamp and should only be given a water dish once every 6 months

PS..just so you know..crickets DO BITE!


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## SCORPIONNOOB (May 15, 2009)

Dont correct your friend when he mispronounces the scientific name. Its more fun to hear him slaughter it.

"I double dog dare you", is a good start to watching your friend find out if your T is poisonous or not. 

A pet hole is twice as fun as a pet rock.


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## ZergFront (Jul 17, 2009)

- bites from 6 or more superworms in your hands tickles like Hell!

 - It was given the name "pokie" because it loves being poked and will giggle like the Pillsbury Dough Boy ;P 

 - Pink Toes will not appreciate getting their "toes" painted black; they're not goth u know. DUH!

 - if you put a ping pong ball in a T enclosure expecting it to tumble and play with it, get a kitten and yarn ball!

 - if you want a T that will wait patiently by the lid for food and jump for it, get an oscar fish instead. 

 - if you want a pokie or OBT to pet, hug and play with, I REALLY think you should get a yellow lab (or chloroform so you'll be out before the pain hits you!)

 - if you're ever thinking of purchasing a T so you can watch it take down rodents, get a snake!

 - if you're reading this for advice, seek the search link ASAP.


 I got too many more to list. I'm voting this most fun thread right next to "Silly Things LPS say."


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## pavel (Jul 18, 2009)

Cute thread 

In ref to GBB


Luiscifer said:


> It isn't a designer colon either!


Er... I assume you meant "cologne" as opposed to the last portion of one's digestive tract?.........


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## Sathane (Jul 18, 2009)

Where would one find a 'designer colon'?

That is one fad I hope to never see in my lifetime. 




pavel said:


> Cute thread
> 
> In ref to GBB
> 
> ...


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## Steve Calceatum (Jul 18, 2009)

ZergFront said:


> - if you put a ping pong ball in a T enclosure expecting it to tumble and play with it, get a kitten and yarn ball!


I'm sure we've all seen this video of a G. rosea playing with a ping-pong ball:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_l1ikKBGlU

It may not play with it like a cat and a yarn-ball, but I kinda want to try it, myself.

Common T sense:
As your roommate is going to bed, tell them that your OBT (or other high-strung venomous T) got out, and you last saw it heading into said roommate's room....Oh yeah, they like to hide under beds and the sound of the bed squeaking makes them bite.


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## Amelia (Jul 18, 2009)

xsyorra said:


> Common T sense:
> As your roommate is going to bed, tell them that your OBT (or other high-strung venomous T) got out, and you last saw it heading into said roommate's room....Oh yeah, they like to hide under beds and the sound of the bed squeaking makes them bite.


LOL my dad did that to my mother with a mouse. He had hidden a squeak toy under my mother's pillow, and right as she was going to bed, he said that he though he had seen a mouse which of course put her on edge. As she laid her head on the pillow the squeak toy squeaked and my mother was out of the bed before you could blink.


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## super-pede (Apr 25, 2010)

who is The Nature Boy?


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## Warren Bautista (Apr 25, 2010)

Oh my crap! It's my old thread!

super-pede, you don't wann know.


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## dopamine (Apr 25, 2010)

Warren Bautista said:


> 1. If it's moving, there's something wrong.


^Whats that mean? Tarantulas move all the time...


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## Xian (Apr 25, 2010)

dopamine said:


> ^Whats that mean? Tarantulas move all the time...


It means a still Tarantula is a Happy Tarantula.


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## super-pede (Apr 25, 2010)

Warren Bautista said:


> Oh my crap! It's my old thread!
> 
> super-pede, you don't wann know.


I kinda do


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## ZergFront (Apr 25, 2010)

- When a spider turns dark, it's not a tan!

 - tarantulas curl and contort their legs right after molt. No need for panic.

 - Sling exuviae are very light. Do not walk by a fan when it's on your palm. :wall:

 - Do not stick a finger in a silk tunnel.

 - Do NOT clip a tarantula's fangs or a scorpion's stinger!

 - The T is not going on hunger strike, it's in premolt.

 - Tarantulas do not have the same appreciation for music as you do.

 - There are not 450 bread species.

 - Don't wait for a Haplopelma to come out of its hole.

 - Don't breed if you don't want 100-1000 spiderlings.

 - Expect heated conversation when hybrid, mouse feeding or "Vs" animal videos are mentioned here. Pit bull bashing as well.

 - 1 tarantula + 1 tarantula (or more) = 1 fat tarantula. Unless they're frisky. 

 - Spiders will not crawl in your mouth and lay eggs in your stomach. 




 To super_pede, here ya go. Look through the threads he's made or replied to. One crazy dude.

http://www.arachnoboards.com/ab/member.php?u=14278

 It's bad when the other spider people think so... LOL!


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## Terry D (Apr 25, 2010)

*Silly things LP'S say*

Wait..........oops, mine's a klugi- but it's pretty much the same old thing all the time- "MORE CRIX".

Btw, I couldn't find THAT original post on pet shop misinformation, couldn't resist, so I put it here.

Terry


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## Armoworrior (Apr 25, 2010)

ok wow that guy nature boy is nuts kind of sounds like someone i know


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## tiger cowboy (Apr 25, 2010)

ZergFront said:


> - 1 tarantula + 1 tarantula (or more) = 1 fat tarantula. Unless they're frisky.


Then there is a slight delay before getting one fat tarantula.


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