# Scientists have taught spinach to send emails



## BoyFromLA (Feb 2, 2021)

Scientists have taught spinach to send emails
					

It sounds too weird to be true, but engineers at MIT have developed nanotechnology which can be embedded in plants.




					www.euronews.com

Reactions: Like 1 | Informative 1 | Funny 1 | Wow 5 | Thinking 1 | Mind Blown 1


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## The Snark (Feb 9, 2021)

I'm finding this implausible. While Karen, AKA yes-she-does, was able to perform some rudimentary functions such as spreading her legs, this appeared to be a simple basal autonomic response. Sophisticated multiple operations such as walking and chewing gum at the same time appeared to be beyond her capability. Thus I'm having a great deal of difficulty believing she could locate the Send and click the mouse or tap the screen before passing out from hypoxia.
But then  _S. oleracea _could arguably be a higher order organism on the grand scale of evolution than the pseudo sapien K. Rutabaga, Swedish dialectal word rotabagge, from rot + bagge (lump, bunch).

Reactions: Award 1


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## Malum Argenteum (Feb 9, 2021)

This article explains some email responses I've gotten from 'customer service' agents lately.

Reactions: Like 1 | Informative 1 | Funny 5


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## schmiggle (Feb 9, 2021)

The Snark said:


> I'm finding this implausible. While Karen, AKA yes-she-does, was able to perform some rudimentary functions such as spreading her legs, this appeared to be a simple basal autonomic response. Sophisticated multiple operations such as walking and chewing gum at the same time appeared to be beyond her capability. Thus I'm having a great deal of difficulty believing she could locate the Send and click the mouse or tap the screen before passing out from hypoxia.
> But then  _S. oleracea _could arguably be a higher order organism on the grand scale of evolution than the pseudo sapien K. Rutabaga, Swedish dialectal word rotabagge, from rot + bagge (lump, bunch).


I'm totally lost. Karen who?


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## aprilmayjunebugs (Feb 9, 2021)

schmiggle said:


> I'm totally lost. Karen who?


Plankton's wife from Spongebob?

Reactions: Thanks 1


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## The Snark (Feb 9, 2021)

schmiggle said:


> I'm totally lost. Karen who?


(Let me don my academisogynist hat here). Not who per se but a what. Apparently a very common but entirely unknown sub species homonid that the study named Australopithecus Kareni. Why exactly this evolutionary disaster that has it's name and very often it's biological physique and other personal information written on cave (read: bathroom) walls the world over yet remains undescribed is but one of the many mysteries surrounding the creature.
The only tangible evidence of it's existence is traces of a substance consisting of assorted proteins bound together in an amophous glop of estrogens and progesterones. Of note, this material appears to be the ideal growth medium for the organisms commonly known as STIs. While parthenogenesis cannot be entirely ruled out, there is evidence of a male counterpart's existence known as the 'jock'.
Sadly, the study into this odd life form was prematurely curtailed when an individual representative of a collective group of moralis vigilum, (vice principal) Herr Oberführer Heinrich, interceded and the principal investigator was relegated to the United States equivalent of the gulag archipelago (continuation high skool). It had become apparent that the musk of a Karen, Charnal #5, was redolent on both Herr Heirich and in his demesne.

@schmiggle You asked!
And thanks very much to Zundapp for their invention known as the Super Saber which kept this reporter's hiney out of a potentially very serious encounter with a Karen.
https://classic-motorbikes.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/zundapp-super-sabre.jpg


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## Arthroverts (Feb 13, 2021)

That article is rather hyperbolic on the subject, but the discoveries it details are fascinating nonetheless.



schmiggle said:


> I'm totally lost. Karen who?


You wouldn't be the first...



The Snark said:


> (Let me don my academisogynist hat here). Not who per se but a what. Apparently a very common but entirely unknown sub species homonid that the study named Australopithecus Kareni. Why exactly this evolutionary disaster that has it's name and very often it's biological physique and other personal information written on cave (read: bathroom) walls the world over yet remains undescribed is but one of the many mysteries surrounding the creature.
> The only tangible evidence of it's existence is traces of a substance consisting of assorted proteins bound together in an amophous glop of estrogens and progesterones. Of note, this material appears to be the ideal growth medium for the organisms commonly known as STIs. While parthenogenesis cannot be entirely ruled out, there is evidence of a male counterpart's existence known as the 'jock'.
> Sadly, the study into this odd life form was prematurely curtailed when an individual representative of a collective group of moralis vigilum, (vice principal) Herr Oberführer Heinrich, interceded and the principal investigator was relegated to the United States equivalent of the gulag archipelago (continuation high skool). It had become apparent that the musk of a Karen, Charnal #5, was redolent on both Herr Heirich and in his demesne.
> 
> ...


I propose the formation of a new branch of linguistics, or perhaps philology, to be dubbed "snarkology", so that the various and informing messages of our colleague here can be interpreted, analyzed, peered into, and reviewed with greater scrutiny then even Camusian students  afford to their master author. Perhaps what may stand in the way of complete clarity on the subject is even now being stripped away by the tireless efforts of fellow Arachnoboardians who fear not to tread over the hallowed grounds of academic bewilderment and exploration that for so long have retained their lofty heights, and snubbed the laymen with sardonic laughs. Yes, even now the amorphous conurbation of scholarly thought is being reduced to ordered villas that offer the passing frosh the information that for so long remained only intuitive to the gurus of higher education...

;-)

Thanks,

Arthroverts

Reactions: Award 1


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## The Snark (Feb 13, 2021)

Arthroverts said:


> I propose the formation of a new branch of linguistics, or perhaps philology, to be dubbed "snarkology",


Didn't Carrol foresee this? https://www.amazon.com/Annotated-Alice-Definitive-Lewis-Carroll/dp/0393048470
(This really is a wonderful book. There are also several scholarly treatises all about Snarks and Snark hunting.)
There is also several parts of speech omitted from the droll banal English grammar classes. Newns, any non object turned into an object, derbs, dumb verbs as splatiflying - cliff diving at the grand canyon - a splatification, newn, the end result. Let's see, conjumptifications which are commonly used to connect unrelated phrases together, plopositions (portmanteau), where a descriptive assigning a location fail to meet X, Y, and or Z cordinates, explejections, often involving indiscreet or unsavory words, renouns - some other words doing a noun job, often for highly questionable purposes, and so on. Lotses of stuff to convert English to Anguish with anguish being a portmanteau in this case, as in my brother with his degree in English trying to sort some of my emails. In his words, my linguistic efforts are a comflagration of perspidacity.
The great joy of the polyglot known as the English language is in the fact there is infinite room for improvement - disgenuisventivness. And if you read this far please consider you possibly have been the victim of a paraprosdokian.


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## Arthroverts (Feb 13, 2021)

Ah, yes. That is one great thing about literature: there is seemingly always someone to back up one's own thoughts on the matter.
Now we just need a full treatise on hunting bandersnatches...

I am soaking in a part of the English language I had never known before, something that usually happens whenever I converse with @kurgara galatur.

I can identify as a new demographic now however: "Paraprosdokian victim."

Thanks,

Arthroverts

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Jess S (Feb 14, 2021)

The Snark said:


> Didn't Carrol foresee this? https://www.amazon.com/Annotated-Alice-Definitive-Lewis-Carroll/dp/0393048470
> (This really is a wonderful book. There are also several scholarly treatises all about Snarks and Snark hunting.)
> The great joy of the polyglot known as the English language is in the fact there is infinite room for improvement - disgenuisventivness. And if you read this far please consider you possibly have been the victim of a paraprosdokian.


I get that your persona online is a character having fun with the English language; using as many obscure/arcane words with as many syllables as possible.  But it's at the risk of writing something that is completely unreadable. Walls of text that make no sense. I skip over posts like that. The effort to read them literally makes my eyes ache and blur.

Consider your audience. Write for them. Phrase it in a form they can digest.


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## The Snark (Feb 14, 2021)

Jess S said:


> Consider your audience. Write for them. Phrase it in a form they can digest.


It's an odd form of Zen and the path of the warrior combined. Action for the sake of action without regard for the end result. It's also a release - a way to blow off steam. I'm usually typing about 4 to 6 hours a day, performing various services and functions. Since I don't use obscure and/or arcane words, just my normal vocabulary, I have to dumb down most of what I type. Frustration builds and I vent. Simple.

Reactions: Like 1 | Thinking 1


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## Jess S (Feb 14, 2021)

The Snark said:


> It's an odd form of Zen and the path of the warrior combined. Action for the sake of action without regard for the end result. It's also a release - a way to blow off steam. I'm usually typing about 4 to 6 hours a day, performing various services and functions. Since I don't use obscure and/or arcane words, just my normal vocabulary, I have to dumb down most of what I type. Frustration builds and I vent. Simple.


Thank you, friend. Seriously. I could read and understand what you are saying here. 

Everyone needs an outlet to get rid of frustration, (mine would be smashing windows if I could get away with it ) but if the end result is transferred frustration on everyone else, then it's just creating havoc.

A different audience of literary enthusiasts could be found for your more mind bending/tongue twisting musings, and "keep it simple stupid", as they say, for us bewildered arachnid lovers


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## Jess S (Feb 14, 2021)

Now back to normality , and the discussion of emails from spinach


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## The Snark (Feb 14, 2021)

Jess S said:


> Now back to normality , and the discussion of emails from spinach


So let us combine comprehensibility and spinach, eh wot? (If there is a desire to achieve near perfect incomprehensibility, be sure to sprinkle your superflous persiflage with British idioms spiced with a tiny taction of their slang).

A paradox of sorts. Dr. E. A veritable genius in the science turned into art of hybridizing with about 70 years of practical experience. When he was moved to expound on vegetative matters he was well worth paying the closest attention to. Virtually every utterance was a potential gold mine of useful information. The downside to listening to even his ober dictums was a pair of very loose fitting dentures, a pavement tar thick Slovakian accent, a tendency to mutter to himself in a random selection of  Czech-Slovak dialects and he mumbled. Achieving even around a 10% comprehension rate afforded his listener a raging headache within a few minutes.

And thus I ask of you dear readers, a comparison between the venerable esteemed emeritus of the botanical sciences Dr. E and my own bog standard extraneous badinage. Just maybe on the grand scale of things I'm reasonably comprehensible?

It is one of my deeper regrets of my life that Doc E once went off on a tangent, expounding at great length for well over an hour on the epiphytes that had been collected and from where at the botanical gardens where he worked.  If only I had been able to grasp, say, 2 or 3 words out of five I would have been well on my way to my own degree in botany.


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## Jess S (Feb 14, 2021)

The Snark said:


> It is one of my deeper regrets of my life that Doc E once went off on a tangent......  If only I had been able to grasp, say, 2 or 3 words out of five I would have been well on my way to my own degree in botany.


It's impossible to learn from someone who can't communicate well. The best teachers are the ones who can explain complex ideas simply. I would argue that they are true masters of vocabulary and masters of knowledge.

You learnt nothing from this Doc E as he was a poor communicator, yet you would have been a willing student. That's a pity.


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## The Snark (Feb 14, 2021)

Jess S said:


> It's impossible to learn from someone who can't communicate well.


Actually, it is possible, but... It usually makes it very difficult or quite a bit worse. You need to have a good general knowledge of the subject to begin with. Then a very use specific vocabulary to be able to pick out words and phrases. Next you have to have critical thinking dialed way up accompanied by astute reasoning faculties. Essentially, become an expert sleuth filling in blanks in a flexible template format you are innately familiar with.
To sum up, a seminar I once attended on The Power of Reasoning Thinking. I've used that a lot through the years, probably most commonly when I have my template, common ground, and am dealing with people who speak little or no English. Pretty much mandatory when working and living in an assortment of different countries and trying to undertake learning new or differing from one's norm job skills. For example, learning to teach health and hygiene adapted to a certain culture in a foreign country taught to me by an expert who was only fluent in Dutch.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Frogdaddy (Feb 14, 2021)

I think I've come across some of these computer savvy spinach and other vegetables. They were giving advice on a FB Invert Group.

Reactions: Funny 2 | Useful 1


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## The Snark (Feb 14, 2021)

Frogdaddy said:


> They were giving advice on a FB Invert Group.


FB: modern day primordial soup. It's very unclear how the evolutionary standards will work here. Survival of the species rules don't apply.


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## Tortuga (Mar 17, 2021)

The title looks like click bait after reading the article.  So, they're basically using a plant as a bio sensor to read and predict environmental conditions? That's actually pretty cool.

Reactions: Agree 1


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