# Tarantula jokes



## Chris_Skeleton (Aug 31, 2010)

Well I thought of a good joke and so I decided to start a thread. If anyone else has any jokes they've heard or made up about tarantulas. Please share. Here's mine:

Whats the difference between humans and tarantulas?
Human males NEVER mature.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## B8709 (Aug 31, 2010)

Chris_Skeleton said:


> Whats the difference between humans and tarantulas? Human males NEVER mature.


<Stares at the punchline. Doesn't laugh.
<Leaves topic.


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## Caramell (Aug 31, 2010)

B8709 said:


> <Stares at the punchline. Doesn't laugh.
> <Leaves topic.


I dunno, I giggled. :? 

I don't have any good ones.


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## mcluskyisms (Aug 31, 2010)

Heres one I saw on someones status over here in the UK

Whats tarantulas and hookers got in common???

They can both leave you with a nasty itch


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## gumby (Aug 31, 2010)

my profile pic is kind of a joke but you cant read it now that it is resized


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## KoriTamashii (Aug 31, 2010)

mcluskyisms said:


> Heres one I saw on someones status over here in the UK
> 
> Whats tarantulas and hookers got in common???
> 
> They can both leave you with a nasty itch




Not so much a joke, but when my T's burrow, we refer to it as 'making dig-dig'. It's dumb, infantile, and makes us giggle every single time.

Reactions: Funny 1


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## Arachnethegreek (Aug 31, 2010)

I like one of the posters on the boards signature. Not
many women like a guy that smells like vodka following them, askin if they want to see you hairy parahybana probably doesn't help.


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## Mamisha-X (Aug 31, 2010)

XP I am going to end up using these around my friends and they will look at me like i am an idiot :}


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## killy (Aug 31, 2010)

Chris_Skeleton said:


> Whats the difference between humans and tarantulas?
> Human males NEVER mature.


I laughed at this one too!

Here's my contribution - 

What's a tarantula's favorite sport?

  ...       Cricket. 

What's a tarantula's favorite ride?

  ...       A roach coach. 

How are New Yorkers and tarantulas alike?

  ...       They live in burroughs. 

Why is my B vagans called a "Mexican Red Rump"?

  ...       Because "Pit Bull" is already taken

What do an injured horse and a Killy tarantula joke have in common?

  ...       They're both lame ...


(I included this last one because I know that if I didn't one of you scoundrels would have done it for me!)


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## Kirsten (Aug 31, 2010)

Only knee-slapper I can think of is me getting any more T's anytime soon (or far, really) Yeah, pathetic:8o

Is it wrong of me to kind of like the hooker one, though?


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## groovyspider (Aug 31, 2010)

KoriTamashii said:


> Not so much a joke, but when my T's burrow, we refer to it as 'making dig-dig'. It's dumb, infantile, and makes us giggle every single time.


lol omg i dunno if its because iam slap happy but that was funny XD


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## Nicole (Sep 1, 2010)

B8709 said:


> <Stares at the punchline. Doesn't laugh.
> <Posts asinine and rude reply.
> <Leaves topic.


There.  I fixed that for you.


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## B8709 (Sep 1, 2010)

Nicole said:


> There.  I fixed that for you.


LOL...Wasn't trying to be rude. Just didn't find the joke funny. It seemed like something a girl would come up with.


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## Musicwolf (Sep 1, 2010)

B8709 said:


> It seemed like something a girl would come up with.


Heh - funniest joke yet


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## Arachnethegreek (Sep 1, 2010)

Biggest and worst joke on the boards. Petco.

Reactions: Agree 1


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## syndicate (Sep 1, 2010)

My fav is "how many tarantulas does it take to screw in a light bulb?"



Only one if its a Lampropelma!haha!

Reactions: Like 1


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## Chris_Skeleton (Sep 1, 2010)

B8709 said:


> LOL...Wasn't trying to be rude. Just didn't find the joke funny. It seemed like something a girl would come up with.


Dies that make it less funny? What if a girl said it lol. Anyway I'll admit it. I'm a guy and guys never mature.


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## MissChelly (Sep 1, 2010)

Chris_Skeleton said:


> Dies that make it less funny? What if a girl said it lol. Anyway I'll admit it. I'm a guy and guys never mature.


*shrugs* I found it funny.  Granted, I'm a girl... but my boyfriend could admit to the immaturity! LOL.


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## Dangergirl (Sep 1, 2010)

Hughes1312 said:


> XP I am going to end up using these around my friends and they will look at me like i am an idiot :}


+1 

My best friend already gets a glazed look in her eyes when I start rambling on about my new hobby ...


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## Versi*JP*Color (Sep 1, 2010)

What do Sumo's and gravid T's have in common.

They Both ......JIGGLE

Reactions: Like 1


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## robbie (Sep 1, 2010)

okay here is my return to the arachnoboards.....

What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
:}

How do you spot a modern Tarantula?
He has a website!

Reactions: Like 1


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## Terry D (Sep 1, 2010)

Okay, If you were riding down the street in your canoe and your t fell off, how many golfballs would it take to................?  :wall: I know- epic FAIL!


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## Hobo (Sep 1, 2010)

My witty, old fashioned Grandpa (who loves hearing me ramble on about my spiders):
"How does a tarantula male have it better than a (human) male?

Well, the tarantula might kill him right after sex or if she doesn't he, gets to find another one.  The human has to get married."

"What's the difference between a spider and my ex wife?

One is a disgusting, hairy, leggy creature that you just want to kill with the heel of your shoe. The other is a spider."


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## Tindalos (Sep 2, 2010)

Hobo said:


> My witty, old fashioned Grandpa (who loves hearing me ramble on about my spiders):
> "How does a tarantula male have it better than a (human) male?
> 
> Well, the tarantula might kill him right after sex or if she doesn't he, gets to find another one.  The human has to get married."
> ...


hahahahahahahahaha at the last one!


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## Tindalos (Sep 2, 2010)

ok

what is the difference between P.metallica and Metallica?


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## Redneck (Sep 2, 2010)

Tindalos said:


> ok
> 
> what is the difference between P.metallica and Metallica?


................................................. :?

I think this is the part where you tell the joke....


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## CAK (Sep 2, 2010)

What does Bumping Gramma's Card Table at the bingo hall and bumping your OBT cage have in common?

They both Flip Out!    :worship:  Jerry Seinfeld...  Here I come!!!!

Reactions: Funny 1


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