# Harassment for being in this hobby??? Tell your story



## Obtomid (Jun 27, 2014)

I've definitely been treated since i got into this hobby, but i think its totally unfair. People would think i was weird for having tarantulas, plus girls would think i'm some disgusting freak, has anyone else experienced this bull<oop:>?


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## scorpio948 (Jun 27, 2014)

Pretty sure we all do to some degree. But it helps weed out those who aren't worth our time.


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## Obtomid (Jun 27, 2014)

hell yea, I totally agree, <edit>, we are living out our lives, and if people are going to sit and complain about how biases and prejudice are wrong, then they better include us in that "people"


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## fomor (Jun 27, 2014)

It can be frustrating when I mention my tarantula and I just get that look in response. I try to only mention it to people whose company I enjoy for this very reason and most I've met have been mildly inquisitive about tarantula lifestyle. I've never been met with abuse or called weird for it. Not to my face at least. 
I often have to remind myself of the fact that everything about this hobby is way outside of a lot of peoples comfort zone. 
I find my favourite approach when mentioning my T to new people is to casually make it clear that you're willing to chat about the topic then move on with the conversation. If they're curious they can ask, if not it doesn't matter, if they shut down on you and regard you as some sort of freak then as scorpio948 said, they aren't worth your time.

Reactions: Like 1


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## xirxes (Jun 27, 2014)

I have heard reference to reptile and tarantula keepers as "freaks" regularly, most recently on a popular morning radio show here, but I've always said that if ya' can't let your freak flag fly, I don't want to know ya'!

It is simply a classic case of ignorance fueled disparagement.


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## dredrickt (Jun 27, 2014)

There is definitely a stigma, but I couldn't care less.  The only thing hypocritical about that statement is I don't clue girls in about it until I absolutely have to, and even then I downplay it as "I keep a few spiders for my nieces and nephews to look at because they like it."  If any of them were to actually go in my T room though, its more than just a few, lol.

Reactions: Like 2


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## Beary Strange (Jun 27, 2014)

I'm used to harassment for external things that people have no right to judge me for (hurr hurr, it's not Halloween-yeah, never heard that before dip), but I've actually not suffered too much verbal abuse as a result of being in the hobby. I hear "you're crazy" fairly often but it's not usually meant in a mean manner. Except once. I was rescuing my 4th G.porteri from my regular Petco and we have come to be known by the staff there. Well, we're up at the front checking out and this manager who has always come off to me as a bit judgey and insincere asked how many tarantulas we were up to. I told her over 70 (this was prior to having to sell some) and her eyes bugged out, then rolled and she said "Wow. You know I think you're crazy". Normally I don't think anything of this but there was something in her tone and facial expression that wasn't joking, that clearly meant that was meant to be rude. I tried to brush it off and remarked that they don't exactly take up a lot of room so one can have many without issue and she had this tight-lipped 'don't talk to me' expression. It was very off-putting, we actually haven't been back since.


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## elliotulysses (Jun 27, 2014)

xirxes said:


> I have heard reference to reptile and tarantula keepers as "freaks" regularly, most recently on a popular morning radio show here, but I've always said that if ya' can't let your freak flag fly, I don't want to know ya'!
> 
> It is simply a classic case of ignorance fueled disparagement.


this!!! +10000
Everyone already knows I'm "quirky" and do odd things.  Heck, I have lavender hair ATM and piercings.  Most chalk it up to me being an art student, but I just think I have good taste!
Idk if I ever had a bad reaction, at least to my face.  And all my friends like my babes 

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## awiec (Jun 27, 2014)

I don't think people have ever been mean to me because I have tarantulas. Sure some say they couldn't keep them but spiders are out of the comfort zone of many people so I can understand. People are generally like well good for you or they ask what do I do with them; once I compare them to fish then they seem to understand why I have them. Many of my friends and family were not surprised that I started keeping Ts as they said it kinda fits my personality and are polite and will ask me questions about them. Perhaps I don't get out that much or the people at my university are pretty tolerant but I've never ran into issues. Even the people at pet shops are always interested about what I keep (usually the cricket wranglers). So perhaps I have been lucky and I do look like a little kid so people don't wanna be mean to a cute girl.


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## Beary Strange (Jun 27, 2014)

awiec said:


> I don't think people have ever been mean to me because I have tarantulas. Sure some say they couldn't keep them but spiders are out of the comfort zone of many people so I can understand. People are generally like well good for you or they ask what do I do with them; once I compare them to fish then they seem to understand why I have them. Many of my friends and family were not surprised that I started keeping Ts as they said it kinda fits my personality and are polite and will ask me questions about them. Perhaps I don't get out that much or the people at my university are pretty tolerant but I've never ran into issues. Even the people at pet shops are always interested about what I keep (usually the cricket wranglers). So perhaps I have been lucky and I do look like a little kid so people don't wanna be mean to a cute girl.


That "what do you do with them" question always makes me want to give weird answers. Like, oh you know, juggle them, as one does.

Reactions: Like 3


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## The Snark (Jun 27, 2014)

I apologize in advance. Just my take, being brutally honest. This is nothing more than bullying taken to the next level and age group. If you are susceptible, willing to accept being bullied, you need to take steps to protect yourselves. If you are the rock man, their noise is a collective joke that makes you laugh at their ignorance and childishness. After all, that is exactly what ridiculing somebody is all about. Lack of knowledge, go along with the crowd mentality, being brutish, and deriving enjoyment from harassing people.
I decided when I was about 5 that I was never going to go with the flow. At around 7 I decided I wasn't about to take **** from anybody. I did a couple of stints in juvenile hall and the youth authority but all in all, the freedom I have enjoyed mentally was worth the payments. 

Bottom line: get over it.  Get over them before they get over, and run and rule, you. Ask your detractor if their parents met at a family reunion. Extend your sympathy on their mental condition(ing). Tell them to tell their parents condoms will solve a lot of the problems in the world, as they exemplify. And of course, never hesitate to tell them where they can kiss what.

Reactions: Like 6


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## dementedlullaby (Jun 27, 2014)

I'm married so I don't have to worry about chicks lol. But if someone doesn't want to like me because I like spiders that's their problem. They are the ones missing out. Generally speaking I like to think (irl at least lol) I'm a fairly well liked person (and gorgeous /guy hair flip). Sure there's always that one idiot but that's life and the faster you accept that the happier you'll be .

If you're a teenager you'll be surprised how fast life changes once you're out of high school. I was the "freaky dude" in high school as far as looks are concerned lol. I actually changed high schools because I was being harassed. The alternative high school I went to I fit in much better at. In college my style worked quite well to my advantage . You'll look back at these times and laugh. Keep your chin up and stand up for what you believe in always.


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## awiec (Jun 27, 2014)

The Snark said:


> I apologize in advance. Just my take, being brutally honest. This is nothing more than bullying taken to the next level and age group. If you are susceptible, willing to accept being bullied, you need to take steps to protect yourselves. If you are the rock man, their noise is a collective joke that makes you laugh at their ignorance and childishness. After all, that is exactly what ridiculing somebody is all about. Lack of knowledge, go along with the crowd mentality, being brutish, and deriving enjoyment from harassing people.
> I decided when I was about 5 that I was never going to go with the flow. At around 7 I decided I wasn't about to take **** from anybody. I did a couple of stints in juvenile hall and the youth authority but all in all, the freedom I have enjoyed mentally was worth the payments.
> 
> Bottom line: get over it.  Get over them before they get over, and run and rule, you.


I was bullied for just being me when I was a kid and it would make them more angry when I did not bend. I've been shunned by the entire school beat up multiple times and spit on until high school. Eventually people left me alone and the same people who tried to break me admired me for not doing so, it certainly was a little strange. Not much bothers me anymore and people have a hard time getting me upset as I just have a constant sunny disposition to the point where its sickening. People have done much worse to me, saying "ew" about my tarantulas is extremely trifle and insignificant. 



Belle Fury said:


> That "what do you do with them" question always makes me want to give weird answers. Like, oh you know, juggle them, as one does.


I usually say I get them to do tricks and I can get my P.muticus to "sing" (though I've never upset it enough to get it to stridulate and hope I never will).

Reactions: Like 1


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## elliotulysses (Jun 27, 2014)

The Snark said:


> I apologize in advance. Just my take, being brutally honest. This is nothing more than bullying taken to the next level and age group. If you are susceptible, willing to accept being bullied, you need to take steps to protect yourselves. If you are the rock man, their noise is a collective joke that makes you laugh at their ignorance and childishness. After all, that is exactly what ridiculing somebody is all about. Lack of knowledge, go along with the crowd mentality, being brutish, and deriving enjoyment from harassing people.
> I decided when I was about 5 that I was never going to go with the flow. At around 7 I decided I wasn't about to take **** from anybody. I did a couple of stints in juvenile hall and the youth authority but all in all, the freedom I have enjoyed mentally was worth the payments.
> 
> Bottom line: get over it.  Get over them before they get over, and run and rule, you. Ask your detractor if their parents met at a family reunion. Extend your sympathy on their mental condition(ing). Tell them to tell their parents condoms will solve a lot of the problems in the world, as they exemplify. And of course, never hesitate to tell them where they can kiss what.


you are amazing! arachnorolemodel 4 sure

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## Yentlequible (Jun 27, 2014)

Belle Fury said:


> That "what do you do with them" question always makes me want to give weird answers. Like, oh you know, juggle them, as one does.


You don't juggle them? My current record is 4 at once, and it's always a tense moment when the ornata gets back down to my hand.

Reactions: Like 2 | Funny 1


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## Tivia (Jun 27, 2014)

Belle Fury said:


> That "what do you do with them" question always makes me want to give weird answers. Like, oh you know, juggle them, as one does.


I'm going to have to remember this on for when I get asked what I do with them. 

I've not run into anyone being rude about me keeping tarantulas, but I am new to the hobby.  I don't ever hesitate to tell people either.  Let them think what they may.  I know I enjoy them and that's all that matters in the end.  If someone has a problem with it, it's not my problem, it's theirs. 

If someone is downright rude, then that will certainly irritate me and I'll deal with it at the time.  I've run into rude people making comments about my dog and they usually will get a not so nice response.  Insulting my kids is about the only thing that will bring out the bitch in me because is just so unnecessary.  Too many people these days lack common etiquette.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Cavedweller (Jun 27, 2014)

Tivia said:


> Insulting my kids is about the only thing that will bring out the bitch in me because is just so unnecessary.


Have people seriously done that?!


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## Tivia (Jun 27, 2014)

I guess I should have said "kids".  I don't have any human children.  My pets are my kids.  Sorry for the confusion.

Reactions: Like 1


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## dementedlullaby (Jun 27, 2014)

Cavedweller said:


> Have people seriously done that?!


You'd be surprised. My vice principal in my first high school straight up insulted my brother to my father. My brother used to rock a 'hawk and wear tartan pants. The guy would give my dad a hard time and call us degenerates because of the way "he let us dress". He said why do you let your son wear pajamas to school? The guy was a grade a....yeah! That school was awful lol. As soon as I left my grades shot up and I actually skipped a year of Math.

Granted this was about 14 years ago. My wife and I have no immediate plans for children so no idea how things are now with raising kids.


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## Beary Strange (Jun 28, 2014)

Yentlequible said:


> You don't juggle them? My current record is 4 at once, and it's always a tense moment when the ornata gets back down to my hand.


Sadly I can't juggle. But maybe I can pick up some singing P.muticus like awiec and start a choir? 

---------- Post added 06-27-2014 at 09:05 PM ----------




dementedlullaby said:


> You'd be surprised. My vice principal in my first high school straight up insulted my brother to my father. My brother used to rock a 'hawk and wear tartan pants. The guy would give my dad a hard time and call us degenerates because of the way "he let us dress". He said why do you let your son wear pajamas to school? The guy was a grade a....yeah! That school was awful lol. As soon as I left my grades shot up and I actually skipped a year of Math.
> 
> Granted this was about 14 years ago. My wife and I have no immediate plans for children so no idea how things are now with raising kids.


Ew. People can be so awful. At my highschool they (the "security" dress code enforcement people) used to pick on the punks and tried to say a friend of mine couldn't wear short pants because "capris are for girls". Wut? o-o

Reactions: Like 1


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## Smokehound714 (Jun 28, 2014)

Im proud of my love for invertebrates.  I dont care if people scoff and display their ignorance.  

  Any girls who cant handle that are welcome to leave my life at once.  Sorry, but if you want me, you're getting spiders!

Reactions: Like 1


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## dementedlullaby (Jun 28, 2014)

Belle Fury said:


> Sadly I can't juggle. But maybe I can pick up some singing P.muticus like awiec and start a choir?
> 
> ---------- Post added 06-27-2014 at 09:05 PM ----------
> 
> ...


I figure a lot of these people in authority over students that feel the need to pick on them must lead pretty sad lives to be honest. There's a lot of awesome teachers and people that genuinely want to help youth but sometimes you just get the sour ones I guess.


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## josh090 (Jun 28, 2014)

You know, honestly I'm surprised about the amount of issues I DON'T receive in the behavior of those around me. Many of the people I know cringed when I first got my tarantulas, the typical "Ew, why would you keep those?", but, none of them took it any further. After finding out I have them, I had many high school friends (a strange amount of them female) show up at my door to see them! While none of them are going to run out and purchase them, most of them showed great interest and left a little less scared, and a lot more educated. I even have repeat offenders who routinely ask about them, and show up for visits. Its not like I even have a great big display, I only own 6, and 5 of them are under 2".
          I guess if they can keep an open mind, and you're willing to teach them a thing or two, its not that bad. I haven't had a problem. No unfriends on Facebook, and no one changed their opinion on me. Quite surprising really. I keep them in the bedroom, living with my girlfriend and her parents, and I've only actually ever had one person leave, and that was due to his weak stomache and it being feeding time I guess


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## GG80 (Jun 28, 2014)

I wouldn't call it harassment but yeah, I've got plenty of 'that look' as soon as I mention it. But I have fun with it, for example, a guy I know had a baby(well his wife did) 2 years ago and everytime I saw him he just kept on showing me pictures on his phone of the baby, I had no interest at all. After I had just got my first T I met him in a nightclub and told him that I had a baby now aswell and I showed him a pic of my T feasting on a cricket. He looked disgusted and I said to him,'isn't she just the cutest little ball of fluff'. He called me an oddball and I laughed at him and walked away.

I genuinely think that it's just the idea or thought of big hairy spiders that freaks people out but when they sit and observe Ts over time they become facsinated with them. When I first got my T I would let my friends find out for themselves when they came to visit. The first reaction is to be creeped out and after half an hour or so facsination kicks in. It's amazing. My sister, who is terrified of spiders, can sit and look at my T in awe.

Then again I have that same look on my face when people tell me that they have cats.


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## viper69 (Jun 28, 2014)

Never had a problem with people because I don't care what others think. Life is NOT a popularity contest, the sooner people realize that the better.

In addition when confronted by a bully all one needs to do is knock them till they are dead in the street, case closed.


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## CupcakeRosea (Jun 28, 2014)

Luckily my friends sometimes whip out their freak-flag too. However, they see tarantulas as they are. Big hairy spiders. After having chats with them, I've learned it really helps if you start to very slowly include them in your tarantula collection. My best friend is just terrified of them, but after bringing her with me to purchase a little G. pulchripes sling, I had asked her to name it. Now she is constantly asking how her little "Chimichanga" is doing and is determined to one day hold it when it gets bigger.
My other friend is a home designer and she's really getting better and better with the idea of tarantulas. I have even spent an afternoon playing "which colorful T would match the walls in this house". Her favorite right now are adult A. versi because apparently "they look like they are holding the cosmos."
Plus her 3 year old daughter loves watching Jon3800's feeding videos. LOL.

But friends are more tolerable than strangers. When I was getting a G. rosea at Petsmart the other day, the lady at the register had put that contract you have to sign over her tiny cage because "I just don't want to see it. Even knowing it's there makes me want to leave."


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## iemmaamme (Jun 28, 2014)

Almost the entirety of my friends & family gave the "Ew, why" response. At the pet store, I thought a girl's eyes were gunna bug out of her head when she asked what I was buying the crickets for. However it doesn't bother me at all. I've had a handful of positive remarks as well, even coworkers who ask to see pictures. 
My boyfriend's reaction was to shake his head. I have an irrational fear of wasps, so I think the fact that I own creepy crawlies with fangs & urticulating hairs confounds him


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## LythSalicaria (Jun 28, 2014)

The Snark said:


> I apologize in advance. Just my take, being brutally honest. This is nothing more than bullying taken to the next level and age group. If you are susceptible, willing to accept being bullied, you need to take steps to protect yourselves. If you are the rock man, their noise is a collective joke that makes you laugh at their ignorance and childishness. After all, that is exactly what ridiculing somebody is all about. Lack of knowledge, go along with the crowd mentality, being brutish, and deriving enjoyment from harassing people.
> I decided when I was about 5 that I was never going to go with the flow. At around 7 I decided I wasn't about to take **** from anybody. I did a couple of stints in juvenile hall and the youth authority but all in all, the freedom I have enjoyed mentally was worth the payments.
> 
> Bottom line: get over it.  Get over them before they get over, and run and rule, you. Ask your detractor if their parents met at a family reunion. Extend your sympathy on their mental condition(ing). Tell them to tell their parents condoms will solve a lot of the problems in the world, as they exemplify. And of course, never hesitate to tell them where they can kiss what.


YES! Tough love for the win. I wish I had someone tell me this when I was younger. This is many times more helpful than the classic canned response, "Just ignore them." Or even better, "You're a big girl. Just sit on them." Thanks Snark. 

I've been pretty lucky so far, most of the people I tell about my T's have expressed mild curiosity. My neighbor thinks its awesome. Although one day he did do something that really cheesed me off. His children follow him around everywhere, including when he comes over to help my S.O. with his scrap metal business. The younger of the two, a 3-year-old girl, has an obsession with opening and closing the gate on our porch and her father has been told repeatedly that either the kids need to be under control or they need to not be on our property. Despite this, the kids are still always here and the little girl STILL screws around with our gate. The last time I caught her doing this (under her father's supervision) he turned to her and said, "[Kid's Name], you better stop playing with that gate or Donna's going to feed you to her tarantulas."

AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  :wall:


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## TLover007 (Jun 29, 2014)

xirxes said:


> I have heard reference to reptile and tarantula keepers as "freaks" regularly, most recently on a popular morning radio show here, but I've always said that if ya' can't let your freak flag fly, I don't want to know ya'!
> 
> It is simply a classic case of ignorance fueled disparagement.


Freak flag fly... thats flipen nice!! I always fly that flag!!


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## HungryGhost (Jun 29, 2014)

My life is far to precious to waste any of it worrying about what other people think of me and how I choose to live.

Reactions: Like 2


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## QSCrow (Jun 29, 2014)

I'm with you on this one Hungry, who cares? If you have time to worry about what other folks think, then you should really consider evaluating what's important to you and focus on that. I'm a female, I keep inverts, do taxidermy, process my own meat, and I'm ordained in an open faith ministry. I get a lot of weird reactions to the things I'm into, but I couldn't give a darn less. But then again most folks won't harass a gal who skins dead things as a part time job and spends her free time promoting cultural acceptance and spiritual freedom. Lol. Did I mention that I also play D&D? Think I'm weird yet? If so than great! Because a weird person, is a person who feels no shame in who they are. And NO ONE should ever feel ashamed to be themselves.

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Reactions: Like 7


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## cold blood (Jun 29, 2014)

viper69 said:


> Never had a problem with people because I don't care what others think. Life is NOT a popularity contest, the sooner people realize that the better.
> 
> In addition when confronted by a bully all one needs to do is knock them till they are dead in the street, case closed.


+1 my thoughts exactly! I never at any time in my life gave two shcnitts what others thought.  Its my life, no one else's, I live it for me and no one else!

Reactions: Like 1


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## scorpionchaos (Jun 29, 2014)

as a kid I was bullied a lot for many reasons. My dream of becoming a reptile breeder taught me all I needed to know about breeding, sex and reproduction in a lot of organisms. due to my understanding I didn't get the humour associated with my generation (anything remotely sexual...) and didn't see what was so funny. as well as talking about breeding anything back in elementary or talking about it was a like a beacon for bullies. whatever school i went to and still go to many people act like I'm not even there, purely ignoring me. Other people send hateful messages through what little social media I do have. As our generations stray and stray farther from wild life it becomes more difficult to keep these hobbies for the younger group with out dangerous amounts of ridicule. It's getting harder and harder for people to get into any animal related hobby (unless it fluffy... I know i know whats fluffier than an tarantula but apparently is a "different kind of fluffy, the bad fluffy"....). You just have to keep your chin up and brush it off, Any body who insults you for who you are only means they are unsure of who they are and seeing you be so comfortable as yourself confuses them.

Push through, believe in what you believe in and don't believe any of the BS other people tell you.

My brother wanted to be a marine biologist and was talked out of because some body he trusted told him theres no money there. If i knew who that person was i would put 7 poecs in his bed sheets, maybe a a recluse, a few androctonus.... you get the picture


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## antinous (Jun 29, 2014)

I currently don't own any tarantulas, I will be getting four next month though, but, I am going into arachnology (specifically in tarantula ecology/toxicology) and I have been getting a bit of 'crap' for that. I've been called a weirdo, and given strange looks, but it doesn't bother me.

---------- Post added 06-29-2014 at 06:21 PM ----------




viper69 said:


> Never had a problem with people because I don't care what others think. Life is NOT a popularity contest, the sooner people realize that the better.
> 
> In addition when confronted by a bully all one needs to do is knock them till they are dead in the street, case closed.


+1, agreed.


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## Tivia (Jun 29, 2014)

viper69 said:


> In addition when confronted by a bully all one needs to do is knock them till they are dead in the street, case closed.


I have nosy neighbors. I have to drag the bodies to the basement.


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## Driller64 (Jun 29, 2014)

Tivia said:


> I have nosy neighbors. I have to drag the bodies to the basement.


Where you feed them to the giant OBT you have living down there


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## scorpionchaos (Jun 29, 2014)

Although the harassment, teasing and generic disgust of people sow us I'm ok with it as long as I can change a few people minds, then it's all worth it  

I have a friend who was horrified of snakes, couldn't be in the same room as any serpent... After carefully assessing the level of fear and taking how well I knew her (since I was like 3) decided a subtle dose of serpent would just make things worse so I had to do something rather harsh... One night she came overnight I convinced her to look at the gang so she came up stairs and into the rep room were she kind o froze. I took direct advantage of this and as quickly as I could I grabbed my nicest snake (Tagerine honduran milk snake) and plopped it on her hands. Luckily she didn't throw the snake into the ceiling fan but instead began to twitch her lips,and whimper... I thought I screwed up and that she would never come over again but in less than a minute she started walking around and getting more comfortable. An hour later I had to pry the snake from her hands because she almost cuddled it to death xD

Always asking for pictures and updates and actually went out and bought her own geckos after the experience 

Remember 1 person understanding is becoming one of us is worth a thousand insults (to me anyway).

Reactions: Like 1


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## Zigana (Jun 29, 2014)

Obtomid said:


> I've definitely been treated since i got into this hobby, but i think its totally unfair. People would think i was weird for having tarantulas, plus girls would think i'm some disgusting freak, has anyone else experienced this bull<oop:>?


What did you expect since MOST girls don't like spiders? I keep tarantulas and I don't expect others to have the same interest as I do.  No one has said anything to me, yeah I get a look but it is more like a look that just shows the person is creeped out by just thinking of a tarantula. I don't take it personal it's just the person isn't comfortable around spiders. 

I can't see harassment or bullying over tarantula keeping. Sounds like too much social media conditioning to the point where anything can be called bullying or harassment. Being called weird is now harassment? Good grief. Before too long no one will be able to say anything.

Reactions: Like 1


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## succinct (Jun 29, 2014)

To the op. 

I think you are young still. So I am going to give you some advice. 

Here is the advice. 

People are not going to like you. It does not matter how handsome you are, how well you dress, if you like what they like, or do what they do, they are simply not going to like you. Honestly, there is simply nothing you can do to change their minds. Don't try.  When a person is feeling insecure about themselves, they will pick on others to avoid being picked on. They are not bad people, just scared. 

Understand there is nothing you can do to make them like you or even get them to stop bullying you. Them bullying you has nothing to do with you or what you are doing, you are just the next victim in the long list people they will attack to make them feel better about how they seem themselves. They will wonder through life, and trust me on this one, at some point will look back on how they treated you and hate themselves for it. Don't do fall into the same trap. Please. 

Ignore it. Don't fight back, don't change who you are, just ignore it. Don't waste your time. If they start to pick on you, just walk away. Don't waste your time with them, they are only doing it to feel better about themselves. Why are you hanging around helping them why they are tearing you down?

But in the end, they will find a reason to pick on you. So don't stress it. 

I have no idea how old you are, but trust me, it gets a lot easier as you get older.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Driller64 (Jun 29, 2014)

Zigana said:


> Before too long no one will be able to say anything.


This is pretty much what political correctness has become BTW.


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## scorpionchaos (Jun 29, 2014)

Zigana said:


> What did you expect since MOST girls don't like spiders? I keep tarantulas and I don't expect others to have the same interest as I do.  No one has said anything to me, yeah I get a look but it is more like a look that just shows the person is creeped out by just thinking of a tarantula. I don't take it personal it's just the person isn't comfortable around spiders.
> 
> I can't see harassment or bullying over tarantula keeping. Sounds like too much social media conditioning to the point where anything can be called bullying or harassment. Being called weird is now harassment? Good grief. Before too long no one will be able to say anything.



I think it's bullying when your pushed into the darkest corner of your mind by somebody who needs to see you go there to feel better about themselves... Being called a weirdo is not harassment... Being called a weirdo while gasping for air after being winded and humiliated is harassment. People have been bullied because they were victims of black mailing or rape so if you think humans aren't low enough to insult people who keep bugs in jars, maybe you have a little to much faith in humanity...

People have hurt others over far more and far less...

My  2 cents...


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## tarantulagirl10 (Jul 12, 2014)

I don't usually even mention that I have ts to people. The looks and stupid questions have gotten old and I try to avoid it. A lot of people do know that I keep them, and some are interested, some like to give me a hard time, but it's mostly all in good fun. We did have a get together on the 4th of July, and there was one incident that ticked me off a little. Wasn't a bullying incident (I'd have to bring out my mad ninja skills lol), but it got to me a little and I had to hold my tongue and just smile. It was toward the end of the evening and we were in the yard talking to a few people. My best friend's husband always like to pick on me (and everyone), but it's just in fun. He doesn't bother me because they are like family and he's just messing around. Something was brought up about snakes and he said something about me having a room full of spiders. So, of course they all had to know what he was talking about. He told them that I had tarantulas blah blah blah. This one girl says that she didn't think I was that "type". I'm still not sure what that meant but oh well. A minute later after some random picking and joking around (which was no big deal) the same girl says "what do you do with them? You can't hold them and love on them like a dog or a cat?" So I said "They are very interesting to watch. They aren't like a dog or a cat. You could think of them like a fish maybe. You like to watch them, but you don't hold them". She looked at me like I was dumb and said "I'd rather watch a fish than a stupid spider." It wasn't so much what she said but how she said it and that look on her face. Really got to me. Anyway I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and smiled. I was glad at that moment that my teenage daughter wasn't standing there because she isn't as good at control as I am. My 7 year old was standing there and a day or two later said "some people think it's weird to like like snakes and spiders, but I love to watch them move. I think they are very interesting". I'm pretty sure that came from what she heard that night. We don't have snakes, but we respect all living things..mosquitos aside. 

What shocks me is how adults can think it's ok to tell people that their hobby is stupid or crazy. That's so rude. No matter how dumb I thought someone's hobby was, I'd never say that to them. If something makes someone happy, who cares if you like it or not?


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## LythSalicaria (Jul 12, 2014)

tarantulagirl10 said:


> ...What shocks me is how adults can think it's ok to tell people that their hobby is stupid or crazy. That's so rude. No matter how dumb I thought someone's hobby was, I'd never say that to them. If something makes someone happy, who cares if you like it or not?


I share that sentiment. I am starting to get the weird looks and Tsk-tsk's and the ever popular, "...why?" My answer has always been something to the effect of, "What? I don't rip on you for liking [insert gawd-awful top 40 band/singer that no one will care about in a year], so don't you be rippin' on me for liking spiders." Not the same thing? Totally the same thing. Far too many folks fail to remember that at the end of the day, we're all just a bunch of bald monkeys flinging oop:. The only difference between us all is what kind of oop: we fling.

Reactions: Like 3


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## Twentytwenty (Jul 12, 2014)

LythSalicaria said:


> we're all just a bunch of bald monkeys flinging oop:. The only difference between us all is what kind of oop: we fling.


This actually made me laugh out loud. 

I have certainly gotten weird looks and ewws or whys about my reptiles I have and the tarantulas I want and I've been bullied for being smarter than literally everyone in my middle school. I've never been actually bullied badly for pets unless you count saying I want to study entomology.

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## Beary Strange (Jul 12, 2014)

tarantulagirl10 said:


> What shocks me is how adults can think it's ok to tell people that their hobby is stupid or crazy. That's so rude. No matter how dumb I thought someone's hobby was, I'd never say that to them. If something makes someone happy, who cares if you like it or not?


\
You and me both. I'm actually extremely impressed that you were able to keep your cool like that. I probably at the very least would have asked her to leave. Like, how does anyone think it's OK to be insulting to the hostess of the party you're at? Just because you don't like someone else's pets does not mean all social conventions go out the window sheesh.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Micrathena (Jul 13, 2014)

Whenever I say I like spiders, people always assume it's in a... well... _unusual_ way, if you get my drift


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## XBabysinX (Jul 13, 2014)

elliotulysses said:


> this!!! +10000
> Everyone already knows I'm "quirky" and do odd things.  Heck, I have lavender hair ATM and piercings.  Most chalk it up to me being an art student, but I just think I have good taste!
> Idk if I ever had a bad reaction, at least to my face.  And all my friends like my babes
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk


I gotta agree with this. I'm a female and anyone who knows me knows I am attracted to the strange and unusual. My hair too is multiple neon colors, I'm covered in tattoos and piercings so I don't get much crap about it except the usual "omg that's terrifying" or "that's my biggest fear" I've been a little shocked at how I don't have ONE friend that actually likes my T (except my husband and I gotta say he wasn't thrilled but he has come to love my fluffy too) I think most people find me having my b. Smithi "predictable"


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## Driller64 (Jul 13, 2014)

I haven't really gotten any crap from anyone yet outside of the "what do you do with them" and "ew" kind of thing. BTW until I started keeping tarantulas I haven't realized how much people really are afraid of spiders. Two examples, both from the same class at my school, Film Appreciation. The first was while we were watching Raiders of the Lost Ark, with the part with the tarantulas. These two guys (who, no offense to homosexuals, seemed a little TOO close to one another if you know I mean) began clutching one another in fear and one pulled his shirt over his face if I remember correctly. I was thinking the whole time "Oh my god, GET OVER IT." The other instance was when an actual spider came down on a piece of silk while we were watching a movie. A girl it was in front of moved quietly to another seat. This I would not have minded this, however, it evoked reactions similar to the ones from the first incident, but with a few more people doing it. I was just happy no one killed it though.


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## xirxes (Jul 15, 2014)

OP, having seen you start another thread about this recently, it seems that you may have been more affected than you think by what is merely fear of the unknown on others' behalf. If you are conflicted in any way, find a way to physically talk to someone about it. The act of speaking your concerns alone is very cathartic.

As far as bullying/harassment goes, I used to have 9" black liberty spikes, wore women's jeans (they didn't make skinny jeans back then) and inside out sleeveless T's with that month's band patch. It all meant something back then...I think.

I've been beat up, bricks thrown at me from cars speeding by, harassed by police, teachers, principles, parents, peers you name it.

In the end, if you are of such a mind to read into people's actual issues, be it focused on hard line gutter-punk or simply keeping tarantulas, the issue is always the same. Insecurity or fear of the unknown or the "odd", manifested through verbal, emotional or physical abuse, by and large only in front of ones peers.

There are very few people I find that will make a point to harass without an audience.

Hope that your issues resolve, or that you relegate them to non-issues internally.


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## timisimaginary (Jul 15, 2014)

if one is not considered "weird" or "strange" by _somebody_, then one must be a very boring person indeed.

Reactions: Like 4


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## Brandon F (Oct 25, 2014)

Oxygen thieves and morons abound, worse still they're breeding at alarmingly high rates.  Unfortunately OP, it seems that you are located near a disturbingly high concentration of them.  Perhaps the type of people that would actually describe themselves with the term "normal" are really mutants, and the rest of us are just plagued by an overabundance of them?  For example, look at what used to happen to anyone that had an idea that challenged current ideology.  For example, Galileo?  And he was right!  Einstein never combed his hair, you think that he took any crap off of someone when they said, "What happened, did you loose your hair brush?"  Nope, he just looked at them and said, "Theory of relativity, schwachsinnige." Then he went on with his day.

    Joking aside, there are always people that are going to think that you are weird, or strange, or gross, or whatever; and that will be before they even know you keep spiders!  Look at my first post on AB, I had one heck of a time even communicating the idea that I was trying to get out of my head.  This happens to me a lot, and if you think that was bad you should see what happens when I get flustered!  I catch HE double hockey sticks for it, all the time.  I just smile and try joke about it.  

    I know that this sounds cliche, but not everyone you will meet behaves that way.  The trick is weeding out/ignoring the idiots.  For example, my wife bought me an Avicularia sp. for my birthday, and she is not really into spiders.  Then she turned around and "let" (yeah, she runs this house ) me get a ultra defensive G. rosea.  She really didn't want to do that, and she didn't do it just for me either.  She did it mostly for our kids (I think she also, not so secretly, wants to see me get tagged.  She is trying to goad me into picking it up right now...) Sounds strange, but stay with me.  Every single time something goes on with either one of the spiders, the Avic built a web, the G. rosea threw me a threat display because I had the audacity to draw breath in her general vicinity, my children are right there watching in amazement.  As parents, we both find that rewarding.  Experiences like that enrich little humans, and build their personalities.  It's too bad so many other parents don't/won't see this; there are those that think us peculiar...

    Many of us have lost that child like wonder and amazement with the world, and that is really sad.  My kids tell everyone that we have spiders as pets, and so far, they have not been met with cynicism or disdain.  I hope things stay that way for a while, though I know that they won't. When it changes, I hope they are able to write the new generation of oxygen thieves off with no regrets.  Honestly, they are not worth your time or effort.  You can fix ignorance by teaching, you cannot fix stupid.  

OP I truly hope that the winds start to change for you.

On a side note:



Yentlequible said:


> You don't juggle them? My current record is 4 at once, and it's always a tense moment when the ornata gets back down to my hand.


This is the most hilarious thing I have read in a while.  Had me cracking up.  Yentlequible, Do you think that I could use it as my signature?

Reactions: Like 1


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## jigalojey (Oct 25, 2014)

I have NEVER been bullied period and no one has ever even mocked me over owning tarantulas, people down here think it's awesome and love looking at them when they come over so I'm actually surprised this is even a thread with so many people claiming they have been abused over owning tarantulas. Reptiles are also huge down here as well.


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## BobGrill (Oct 26, 2014)

jigalojey said:


> I have NEVER been bullied period and no one has ever even mocked me over owning tarantulas, people down here think it's awesome and love looking at them when they come over so I'm actually surprised this is even a thread with so many people claiming they have been abused over owning tarantulas. Reptiles are also huge down here as well.


You're extremely lucky then, because most of us have been at least a few times.


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## Jterry (Oct 26, 2014)

I went into a store the other day and the woman ringing me up noticed the tattoo on my wrist of a European garden spider resting on a rose. She said, "I like your rose tattoo! But that spider is so creepy; I'm sorry but I kill spiders with shoes. I'm arachnophobic," to which I responded, "Really? I'm arachnophilic. :biggrin:" She didn't really have a response for that.


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## PanzoN88 (Oct 26, 2014)

Most people that know i have tarantulas are more intrigued by the thought. For example i went to buy roaches two weeks ago
(And ended up with crickets) at a local pet store, and the clerk asked what i was buying the crickets for, so i said curlyhair
tarantulas (B. Albopilosum) some more people overheard and asked to see one and i told them that they are only tiny slings
And that after they molted a couple more times i would show them, but i showed a picture i found onlineh, the people there act
like they have never seen a tarantula before. My head still hurts from people bombarding me with questions about my slings.
Some rosea owners may branch out soon. Other then a few arachnophobes and spider haters, i have yet to run in to a
Negative experience with the uneducated since exploring the hobby.


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## Tongue Flicker (Oct 27, 2014)

When i was new, yes..

Harassed for everything.

Til I realized I wasn't living in or keeping my animals in north america or europe.

Husbandry, care, breeding will differ geographically speaking.

Now, I can give some sound advice echoing from another part of the globe.


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## ArachnoFreak666 (Oct 27, 2014)

most ive been told so far was "EWW" and that doesn't even bother me. so far everyone that ive told about my tarantulas has actually been pretty open-minded about it and asked a lot of non-sarcastic questions about them. and im pretty open about me collecting tarantulas so almost everyone I know and have met know that I have them. ive even got a few people that cant stand spiders to hold my rose hair and it was pretty interesting to watch how they react. its almost like once they get that first physical interaction with a tarantula, their mindset about spiders in general completely changes! im actually even talking my friend that used to be arachnophobic into buying his first tarantula, he said he might, but for him to even say that is an achievement itself!


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## TarantulaObsession (Oct 27, 2014)

Most of the time, people are very impressed and curious. Occasionally, I do get the "That's <edit> weird", "That's so creepy!" or "That's disgusting. You must be dirty." 
I don't let it phase me though. I love all my Ts and most of my friends adore them as well. They find it unique and interesting.


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## klawfran3 (Oct 27, 2014)

I've learned that a lot of people ask stupid questions or have bad reactions just to get a rile out of you. Happens on a regular basis, but that might be because  I am also stuck with 4000 other students in a high school. All I know is that if you answer these sarcastic questions with a serious and science filled answer, it usually confuses the other person enough for them to stop acting dumb for a second. They also realize that they can't get you upset and decide to move on to another hapless victim.

I have, however, been asked if I feed them to my other spiders when I'm bored. The worst part was that when I replied "no, I don't" the other person took this as an opportunity to try and anger me by telling me about how they buy tarantulas at a store just to kill them and feed them to their pet lizards. 
I rolled my eyes and walked away, but I still feel sorry for those innocent spiders that he supposedly does this to. People can be sick, twisted, and cruel.

It's best to ignore the dumb questions and get back to collecting.


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## Julia (Oct 27, 2014)

klawfran3 said:


> I have, however, been asked if I feed them to my other spiders when I'm bored. The worst part was that when I replied "no, I don't" the other person took this as an opportunity to try and anger me by telling me about how they buy tarantulas at a store just to kill them and feed them to their pet lizards.
> I rolled my eyes and walked away, but I still feel sorry for those innocent spiders that he supposedly does this to. People can be sick, twisted, and cruel.


Yeah, that's highly doubtful.  Tarantulas are $20 *minimum* at petstores, so those would be some dang expensive meals for pet lizards!  :sarcasm:


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## klawfran3 (Oct 27, 2014)

Julia said:


> Yeah, that's highly doubtful.  Tarantulas are $20 *minimum* at petstores, so those would be some dang expensive meals for pet lizards!  :sarcasm:


 people film and post it on youtube. it's not that uncommon.


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## Micrathena (Oct 27, 2014)

Julia said:


> Yeah, that's highly doubtful.  Tarantulas are $20 *minimum* at petstores, so those would be some dang expensive meals for pet lizards!  :sarcasm:


 Not to mention the bristles!

---------- Post added 10-27-2014 at 07:40 PM ----------




klawfran3 said:


> people film and post it on youtube. it's not that uncommon.


 First off: whoa. That's messed up. Second: that was posted as I was typing my previous one.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Driller64 (Oct 27, 2014)

klawfran3 said:


> I've learned that a lot of people ask stupid questions or have bad reactions just to get a rile out of you. Happens on a regular basis, but that might be because  I am also stuck with 4000 other students in a high school. All I know is that if you answer these sarcastic questions with a serious and science filled answer, it usually confuses the other person enough for them to stop acting dumb for a second. They also realize that they can't get you upset and decide to move on to another hapless victim.
> 
> I have, however, been asked if I feed them to my other spiders when I'm bored. The worst part was that when I replied "no, I don't" the other person took this as an opportunity to try and anger me by telling me about how they buy tarantulas at a store just to kill them and feed them to their pet lizards.
> I rolled my eyes and walked away, but I still feel sorry for those innocent spiders that he supposedly does this to. People can be sick, twisted, and cruel.
> ...


Since Halloween is coming up, would you mind if dressed up in my Micheal Myers costume and came over to his house with a not so fake knife? 

Or better yet dress up in my Jigsaw costume and see if he wants to play a game XD

Reactions: Like 1


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## Ultum4Spiderz (Oct 28, 2014)

[/COLOR]





klawfran3 said:


> I've learned that a lot of people ask stupid questions or have bad reactions just to get a rile out of you. Happens on a regular basis, but that might be because  I am also stuck with 4000 other students in a high school. All I know is that if you answer these sarcastic questions with a serious and science filled answer, it usually confuses the other person enough for them to stop acting dumb for a second. They also realize that they can't get you upset and decide to move on to another hapless victim.
> 
> I have, however, been asked if I feed them to my other spiders when I'm bored. The worst part was that when I replied "no, I don't" the other person took this as an opportunity to try and anger me by telling me about how they buy tarantulas at a store just to kill them and feed them to their pet lizards.
> I rolled my eyes and walked away, but I still feel sorry for those innocent spiders that he supposedly does this to. People can be sick, twisted, and cruel.
> ...


  I never had that issue in H.S I had 8 Ts back then. Dono why anyone would feed a helpless  T to a pet lizard, its like us buying there pet lizard & feeding it to a Huge Python on youtube very Cruel & weird.

My parents treated me a lot worse after I went above 20 Ts though, I shoulda stuck to less than 19 .


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## Mk6Adam (Dec 11, 2014)

My coworkers (which I am often quite cool with) began referring to me as "Spider Man" at work-related events and over emails...

One time, my supervisor told my customer to "Ask him about his special pets." which the woman did and I told her that I had a large dog and a shihtzu and then I told her that I had a few large spiders, the woman's daughter said "tarantulas?" I told her yes and she looked me in the eyes and called me a "Sick f**k."

Pleasant. 

My favorite reaction is that almost everyone that first hears that I have a T collection asks "Do they live in separate cages?"

No. They live in my bedroom, socially, and they are potty trained the same as my dogs.

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## Mariner1 (Dec 11, 2014)

There are 1 or 2 people that I know who don't think Ts are weird or freaky. The last time I told someone i hadn't known for very long that I had Ts, told me to burn my house down. They only said that because they are scared of a little spider and too ignorant(stupid) to appreciate what nature has to show us and that makes me laugh.


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## Whaagh (Dec 12, 2014)

For me its come to the point where my family said they wont come and visit me due to my Hobby/pets.  When i talk to them about some of my Slings/T's you can hear their disgust in there voices.  However i have actually converted 2 of my co-workers to the Hobby as well (one has a Curly, the other an G. Rosea).  Same as Mk6Adam, i have also been referred to as "Spider man".  A lot of our customers look at me with shock in their eyes when i tell them what i own and the first question that is asked is "aren't they poisonous" and i promptly reply "you can eat them ".


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## FallingRepublic (Dec 12, 2014)

It seems as if I'm lucky, everyone that has ever known I have tarantulas has either pressed the Starship Troopers "Would You Like To Know More?" button or gotten a cold chill. My co-workers love it when I get something shipped to my place of employment and my friends thoroughly enjoy taking a stroll through my spider room. Even my friends wives who are deathly afraid of spiders peek into their cages, but from 10 feet away.  Also, my wife was an arachnophobe when I met her and she still is to a certain extent but she enjoys putting their cages together with me (must be the craft side of her) and she names them for me. Sounds like I am lucky compared to most, I cannot recall one time where I have had a bad experience with others involving my T's.

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## Chad2008 (Dec 12, 2014)

Im with fallingrepublic on this, im sorry all of you have had such oop: experiences. I have been very fortunate it seems, my best friend began collecting tarantulas also, my gf who has a good amount of arachnophobia can now be caught singing to my big girls as they clean themselves and walk around, and people i meet in general are usually fairly cool about it. But i am also the kind of person who will flat ignore judgmental idiotic self loathing dirt. 

I guess people like fallingrepublic and i are the lucky few :/
<edit>


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## Amimia (Dec 12, 2014)

Not so much harassment, but of course nearly everyone has the same "ew spiders" reaction, but sometimes I get the "omg I would kill them how do you live with them I would gas them omg" like really??? I wouldn't say I'd kill your pets so don't say you'll kill mine ._.


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## truecreature (Dec 12, 2014)

It's pretty funny to get the whole "but what do you DO with them?" from people when they find out you keep inverts or reptiles. Ever notice how nobody says that about more socially acceptable pets like fish, which are even less interactive?

I'm private about my more unconventional hobbies to people outside my family (who know I'm a weirdo) so I can't say I've experienced anything offensive so far. I do get "ew", "why would you want those", etc and joking that they won't come to my apartment from family, but that's just harmless ignorance. Most people can't understand loving something that isn't all warm and cuddly or even cares about you. But anyone can love a dog or a cat - I think it takes a special kind of person to love an animal enough that they're content with not getting any in return.


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## Ultum4Spiderz (Dec 12, 2014)

raisinjelly said:


> It's pretty funny to get the whole "but what do you DO with them?" from people when they find out you keep inverts or reptiles. Ever notice how nobody says that about more socially acceptable pets like fish, which are even less interactive?
> 
> I'm private about my more unconventional hobbies to people outside my family (who know I'm a weirdo) so I can't say I've experienced anything offensive so far. I do get "ew", "why would you want those", etc and joking that they won't come to my apartment from family, but that's just harmless ignorance. Most people can't understand loving something that isn't all warm and cuddly or even cares about you. But anyone can love a dog or a cat - I think it takes a special kind of person to love an animal enough that they're content with not getting any in return.


+1 Yeah Hatred of spiders seems to be placed in peoples  minds from big media, we need like a Steve Irwin of spiders so people like them more. Big media is the ruler of most households, My dad was once mad at me saying what do my spiders do for me. And they do not make money for me, and I should go and talk to them.. He cares more about money than animals, same as most US businesses so...common mindset of the uneducated on spiders.

Money is the ruler of most, they care nothing for Animals.

Reactions: Like 1


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## Rhodin (Dec 12, 2014)

Occasionally I get people who are frightened and don't understand why I love my 8legged babies so much but the majority of my friends/family think they're pretty cool. Girls tend to come around much quicker than guys and my girlfriend went from being arachnophobic, to collecting every creepy crawly she found around her house, to buying her first T at the last reptile expo we went to together.


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## elliotulysses (Dec 13, 2014)

Oh you know, the usual "I'd burn your collection."  I brush it off though.  It's really their ignorance );


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