So many couples on here collect together

[Immortal_sin]

Originally posted by roylemom
Now he says if we want to breed, just rent a little shop to do it in.

you...or the spiders?! =D =D =D

 

[roylemom]

you...or the spiders?!

=D Actually, if he ever tries to stop me from doing what I want when it comes to Ts, it'll be him in a shop somewhere, and he can breed with whomever he wants!!=D

 

[SpiderTwin]

I guess I'm lucky that my wife dosen't mind me having T's. She was actually the one that bought me my first one, also 6 or so of the ones I have, she picked out. Of course I take care of them all, but that's ok with me.

The only thing she complains about now is how many I have (geez, I only have 25) whats the big deal? Oh well, there are more on my wish list, I guess I'll have to wait and see how it goes when I say I want to get more

I hope you can work out something with your girlfriend. Is there something that she likes that you just put up with? Maybe the two of you can work out some kind of compromise. Good luck!

 

[Botar]

Look at it this way. If you get rid of the T's and the girl dumps you, you'll regret it. If you get rid of the girl, the T's aren't going to act any differently. If you think you'll miss her, buy more T's. If you treat your T's well and take good care of them, they won't let you down... can't say the reverse is true.

Just to keep this in perspective, it works both ways. It's not just the women. I'd give the same advice to a woman asking the same question.

If you sacrifice something that is important to you, you are likely to resent her for it later. You may not even be doing it intentionally. But later when she refuses to budge on something you see as trivial, the fact that you gave up something important to you will surface. Then it will get really ugly.

Botar

 

[Psycho]

Originally posted by indigoeyes
Our relationship progressed rather quikly, and we moved in together after only a month and a half! After about a year and a month of being together, I told him I wnated a Tarantula. We got a Gramm rosea.

Good luck!

Ditto... and just tell her if she loves you she'll deal with a couple of animals that take up a few feet of your living area;P.

Oh and if she has a dog or cat tell her she cant keep that animal if you cant have your t's

~~~Psycho~~~

 

[sunnymarcie]

2 words:

DUMP HER!

That says it all.
My hubby does not like my(our) T's. My son and I started collecting less than a year ago...........he tolerates them.
"Keep 'em locked up or they will be shoe goo!" LOL!

If you let this girl run your life now, she will RUIN it later.
She is being selfish and only thinking of herself. Its just
your hobby she's knocking now, what will it be later?

**Side note** I ALWAYS find the hubby looking at the T's
when he thinks I'm not watching. I'm not sure if he's looking
because he's curious, or if he's counting to make sure their
all locked up! LOL!

 

[SkyeSpider]

My wife and I met when I only had one rose-hair (think, a long time ago). It died about three months after we started dating. A year later, I bought my T. blondi, and returned to the hobby. My collection shot through the roof in a matter of months.

Originally, she was opposed to me keeping so many tarantulas. She later realized how easy they were to care for, how quiet they are, and how cheap their care is. She also found her addiction in Avicularia sp. She fell in love with my A. versicolor, and A. avicularia spiderlings. More recently, she's become attached to my E. campestratus and G. aureostriata.

My wife doesn't want my collection to grow anymore, but she truely respects it, as she sees I'm passionate about the hobby. She said she'll never hold me back in it (breeding, trading, or buying within reason), but not to let things get out of hand.

-------

With your situation, I'd recomend trying what I did: A. versicolor or A. avicularia spiderlings. They're too cute NOT to love

If that doesn't work, and she's not willing to compremise, it may be best to get out now. I've been involved with a few women like that, in the past. It's never good in the long run. If they won't respect your simple joys in life, what's that say about them?

As an example: My wife loves anime. I detest anime. I will watch anime with my wife. I love card games. My wife has no intrest in card games. My wife will play card games with me and even help me run the major tournaments in my area.

A relationship is all about compremise, and going out of your way to make the other person happy

Good luck.

-Bryan

 

[Jakob]

Originally posted by TheEternal
My wife and I met when I only had one rose-hair (think, a long time ago). It died about three months after we started dating. A year later, I bought my T. blondi, and returned to the hobby. My collection shot through the roof in a matter of months.

You're married?

Jake

 

[Aviculariinae]

My girlfriend bought me the first one,she doesnt like when i open the lid,but doesnt mind looking at the them,i Have a room dedicated to them now,I have 30 spiders,a scorp and a lizard of some kind that i caught on holidays,She thought it was getting out of hand but once i cleaned up the room she doesnt mind!
Getting a Computer soon for at home so ill be online all night LOL:} =D

 

[pategirl]

My fiance doesn't really get into the spider thing, but he has been looking at getting a docile specimen lately. The tarantulas and other inverts were around when I met him, and I let him know early in our relationship that the care of my animals comes first. He understands that, and doesn't complain too often. He wasn't too thrilled when my collection began to include scorps and a few pedes, but he got over that.

 

[MizM]

Originally posted by JP version 1.0
...won't let me....

That term doesn't exist in my relationship with my husband. My MOM AND DAD didn't let me do things, my husband realizes that I'm an adult who makes my own decisions now and doesn't tell me what to do. On the other hand, I have enough respect for him to discuss EVERYTHING, so I would never bring anything into the house that he didn't approve of. When I met him, I had about 35 different creatures. He declared his UNCONDITIONAL love for me, for who I am and what I am. I must say, I am very spoiled, very lucky and very happy!=D

As for you, if you two love each other enough, you will work it out together, your own way... and I wish you both the best of luck and all the happiness in the world!

Whoops, I forgot I ws going to put in his motto: "I'm the king of my household. And do you know WHY I'm the king? 'Cuz I treat Terri like the queen!"

 

[MizM]

Originally posted by TheEternal
My wife and I met when I only had one rose-hair (think, a long time ago). It died about three months after we started dating. A year later, I bought my T. blondi, and returned to the hobby. My collection shot through the roof in a matter of months.

Originally, she was opposed to me keeping so many tarantulas. She later realized how easy they were to care for, how quiet they are, and how cheap their care is. She also found her addiction in Avicularia sp. She fell in love with my A. versicolor, and A. avicularia spiderlings. More recently, she's become attached to my E. campestratus and G. aureostriata.

My wife doesn't want my collection to grow anymore, but she truely respects it, as she sees I'm passionate about the hobby. She said she'll never hold me back in it (breeding, trading, or buying within reason), but not to let things get out of hand.

-------

With your situation, I'd recomend trying what I did: A. versicolor or A. avicularia spiderlings. They're too cute NOT to love

If that doesn't work, and she's not willing to compremise, it may be best to get out now. I've been involved with a few women like that, in the past. It's never good in the long run. If they won't respect your simple joys in life, what's that say about them?

As an example: My wife loves anime. I detest anime. I will watch anime with my wife. I love card games. My wife has no intrest in card games. My wife will play card games with me and even help me run the major tournaments in my area.

A relationship is all about compremise, and going out of your way to make the other person happy

Good luck.

-Bryan

RIGHT ON YOU TWO!!!

 

[Malhavoc's]

Ticia likes tarantulas but doesnt want aggresive ones cuss of nate her 3 year old grandson living with us and she draws the line at me keeping my scorp collection to a min cuss she thinks there "ugly" I rather like them though lol.

 

[Charlie]

It took me over a year to get my wife into the hobby.

But now she owns a male rose hair and loves our Avic.

-Charlie

 

[MizM]

I say don't ever give up who and what you are for another person. God knows I'VE done that way too many times!

 

[arachnopunks]

I had a T when we moved in together and had wanted to get more. Jill was fine with getting one or two more a first then my original T died which I had for 8 years and I had an urge to replace her with a T.blondi. Jill was in slight opposition a first but after the death of my first T and after she did some personal research she became fascinated with tarantulas and now we have over 40. I can tell you from past relationships and roommates that I had to fight to keep the one I had and more was usually out of the question. Jill and I are now married with our first child and well I didn't feel the same for any other women I dated. I wonder if the tarantula helped my decision making. Maybe encourage her to do her own research about tarantulas to help her understand them better. Sometimes an outside opinion about somethings will help a person understand, she may feel you're biased. If she doesn't want to share your interest you can trade her in for another.=D Just kidding. Have you sat her down and tried to introduce her to them? Maybe getting her to just watch them like fish will help. You probably have done this already but if not try it. An important part of any working relationship are similar interests, when you have similar interests it makes it easier to understand how the other communicates thusly communicating about other things becomes easier-most of the time. I'm starting to sound like Dr. Phil I guess I should throw in a ridiculous analogy-- (read with Texas-style southern draw)"You can try to stick a Dorito up a horse's butt but you're going to get kicked."

 

[Immortal_sin]

Originally posted by Botar
If you sacrifice something that is important to you, you are likely to resent her for it later. You may not even be doing it intentionally. But later when she refuses to budge on something you see as trivial, the fact that you gave up something important to you will surface. Then it will get really ugly.

Botar

I was going to actually respond (besides being a smarty pants!) but Botar wrote what I was going to say
This is so true it's not even funny. Don't give up your life goals for a person. (this goes for anyone). Believe me, you *WILL* resent it later, and that resentment can lead to your breaking up.
If 1/2 of a couple won't do ANY sort of compromising on this, then what happens on even bigger issues (than owning a T or not) down the road?
RUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

 

[Tangled WWWeb]

Originally posted by MizM
That term doesn't exist in my relationship with my husband. My MOM AND DAD didn't let me do things, my husband realizes that I'm an adult who makes my own decisions now and doesn't tell me what to do. On the other hand, I have enough respect for him to discuss EVERYTHING, so I would never bring anything into the house that he didn't approve of.

IMO, we are describing the same thing in different words. Whereas you don't like to think in terms of your spouse not letting you, others don't like to feel as if they need to seek their spouse's approval. I am an adult and obviously could bring home a centipede if I wanted, but I choose not to because they make my wife uncomfortable. I already feel that our T collection has grown too large. There is no point in causing her any sleepless nights over a pet that I don't really have the space or time for.

 

[Inuleki]

but i'd have to agree with the similar interests make things easier.

I collect with my girlfriend, kacey, and we both love the little guys.

and we're still together.

My ex-girlfriend was over the other day.... i showed her our collection... she kinda almost curled into a little ball and slunk away shuddering... it was kinda funny. but i did try to show her my versicolor... didn't work.

we're not together.

didn't really have that many common interests.... and if i had found these guys when we were.... man i could see the therapy on her part.... all sorts of evil dreams or sleepless nights over the "evil spiders"... wouldn't have been worth it.

 

[MizM]

Originally posted by JP version 1.0
IMO, we are describing the same thing in different words. Whereas you don't like to think in terms of your spouse not letting you, others don't like to feel as if they need to seek their spouse's approval. I am an adult and obviously could bring home a centipede if I wanted, but I choose not to because they make my wife uncomfortable. I already feel that our T collection has grown too large. There is no point in causing her any sleepless nights over a pet that I don't really have the space or time for.

Yeah, guess you're right! You have enough love and respect for your wife not to make her uncomfortable... and you're a great hubby too! But, you COULD suggest to her that sleepless nights could be FUN!=D
(Sorry, I'm evil!)