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LOL! Now there is a suggestion!
So many couples on here collect together
- Thread starter Deliverme314
- Start date
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- Oct 27, 2008
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- 115
:d
Keep the T's and find a girl that loves them. My girl loves ALL of my hobbies, It is awesome, but I never have anyone to stop me from going overboard;P
Keep the T's and find a girl that loves them. My girl loves ALL of my hobbies, It is awesome, but I never have anyone to stop me from going overboard;P
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- Sep 29, 2004
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And the award for Oldest thread Started-up again this Month/Year goes to
Wait for it...
Kacey Jennings !!!! :clap: :clap: :clap:
serioiusly..
I have a room in my house where I know my wife won't go.
Not like it would be useful more much else, it's where the furnace and hot water tank is. ( that helps heat it )
Wait for it...
Kacey Jennings !!!! :clap: :clap: :clap:
serioiusly..
I have a room in my house where I know my wife won't go.
Not like it would be useful more much else, it's where the furnace and hot water tank is. ( that helps heat it )
DOH :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall: and i read it all LOL but well not too much of a wasted time. i wonder if this guy is good with her girl or not in the present:O
//Tiago
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- Dec 12, 2007
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Sigh. I read this entire thread.
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- Feb 16, 2009
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If she's got this much of a control problem already I'd think seriously about what I'm getting into before moving in with her.
From personal experience, not once or twice either, three times! If she absolutely insists that you will not get to have what you want in YOUR house (you are paying half the bills after all, I'm assuming, so she has no rights to tell you what you can or can't do or have) then she isn't worth the trouble. Mark my words, first it will be the Ts, then you won't be able to pick up that sporty car you like (because she'll assume your picking up every chick in the city with it), and so on. It will be a never ending struggle between the things you want and the things she will allow you to have. If she decides to make an issue of such trivial things like animals that are controlled and locked up in a room she never has to enter then it'll only get worse.
Take it from someone who suffered for 10 years before I had the good sense to GTFO.
From personal experience, not once or twice either, three times! If she absolutely insists that you will not get to have what you want in YOUR house (you are paying half the bills after all, I'm assuming, so she has no rights to tell you what you can or can't do or have) then she isn't worth the trouble. Mark my words, first it will be the Ts, then you won't be able to pick up that sporty car you like (because she'll assume your picking up every chick in the city with it), and so on. It will be a never ending struggle between the things you want and the things she will allow you to have. If she decides to make an issue of such trivial things like animals that are controlled and locked up in a room she never has to enter then it'll only get worse.
Take it from someone who suffered for 10 years before I had the good sense to GTFO.
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IMO, a woman will say no for something she dont like or dont care. But if you bring a tarantula home (mellow one), let her get used to it and understand that they dont go around bitting people. In time she wont mind you having a tarantula or for me 16 tarantulas now.
I also believe a good hobby that you love is very important. I cant see myself not having any of my pets and my wife understand that. Its called love.
I also believe a good hobby that you love is very important. I cant see myself not having any of my pets and my wife understand that. Its called love.
I think if she loves you she can give you a room and not bar you from doing something you love. It shouldn't be so hard for her to accept that, though much different from her interests, it's something that makes you happy and she honestly can deal with it. If you barred her from doing something she was passionate about, honestly, would she call you controlling? Because if she would, you may consider having a talk with her about that.
Besides, asking someone to GET RID of a pet they've had and raised is almost cruel (to the person) people get attached, plain and simple. It's different not wanting you to get more, but making you GET RID of ones you already have?
My boyfriend was so scared of spiders, especially tarantulas, that he would shake and get almost sick around them. With time, and me showing such love and respect and interest, he tolerated them. Then he accepted them. Then he liked them. Now he loves them. My parents even deal with them.
Besides, asking someone to GET RID of a pet they've had and raised is almost cruel (to the person) people get attached, plain and simple. It's different not wanting you to get more, but making you GET RID of ones you already have?
My boyfriend was so scared of spiders, especially tarantulas, that he would shake and get almost sick around them. With time, and me showing such love and respect and interest, he tolerated them. Then he accepted them. Then he liked them. Now he loves them. My parents even deal with them.
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Agreed. My girlfriend HATED the idea of me having a tarantula because it was creepy, disgusting blah blah blah. Well tell you what I convinced her to let me get one spider in a beautiful display tank so I got a G. Rosea with the brightest pink top and silverish fussy legs... I would come home to her gazing into it's tank and being facinated by it. One thing led to another and she'd want to watch it eat...IMO, a woman will say no for something she dont like or dont care. But if you bring a tarantula home (mellow one), let her get used to it and understand that they dont go around bitting people. In time she wont mind you having a tarantula or for me 16 tarantulas now.
I also believe a good hobby that you love is very important. I cant see myself not having any of my pets and my wife understand that. Its called love.
IMO, fussy girls dismiss things they might think they would have no interest it. You have to sell it to them, especially with fuzzy pink G. roseas
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- Jul 7, 2007
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- 61
Honestly, I agree. It's not just the Ts themselves, but interests in general. Your responce to "why should there be a room I can't go into in my own house" should be, "because you choose not to enter. That's perfectly healthy, I'm sure you'll have something or other you'd like to keep private as well."
Growth, change, and acceptance are part of a truely healthy relationship. They're about accepting someone for who they are, not changing them to what you'd like them to be. True intimacy is honesty.
If you can't be yourself and keep what you want, if you can't carry on the hobbies you enjoy, find someone else. No matter how much you love someone if you're not compatible and they're not willing to comprimise (the key to a healthy relationship) then it's not worth your time.
2 years is the blink of an eye consitering how much life you've lived and how much you hopefully have before you. If you're not complete as yourself in a relationship, time shouldn't matter. YOU MATTER.
I'm not tryin to turn you against your girl, just saying that relationships take comprimise. Non addictive relationships are conditional. Comprimise with her, telling her that she can have something she wants if you can have your tarantulas. Sorry for the lecture/ranting, but if you're not growing in your relationship, if you have to hide your true feelings about things, ESPECIALLY things that make you happy and help you cope with life (your hobbies), then you're not in a healthy relationship.
A healthy relationship would be telling your partner your dreams and goals, them accepting and appreshating these asperations, even if they do not share the same goals, and helping you acheive them. Of course your goals and dreams might not match up with your partners, if they did our relationships would be boring. Understanding someone's goals, and helping them towards that goal, even when you don't share the dream is true unselfish love. You desurve that love and support from your girlfriend.
I suppose to convince her, ask her what she wants more than anything else that she's been too embarassed to ask for before. If she says there's nothing don't believe her. Good luck.
Let me just add, it's not that I am even close to thinking T's > significant other like so many people are jokingly (I think) saying -- love is one of the two most powerful emotions -- neck and neck with true hatred. The power of love drives people to do crazy and wonderful (and sometimes not so wonderful) things.
I would choose my Charles over any animal, thing, or person. But one reason I love him is that I don't HAVE to choose, because with love comes respect, and with respect comes tolerance.
If her reigns are that tight because she "doesn't like them", does she REALLY love you? Would she leave you or make your life miserable if you simply stood up and said "no, I have a right to what I love, as you have a right to not interact and be around them?" If she would leave you, if it would affect your relationship, than she doesn't love you truly, and she is controlling you. That's far from healthy.
Love for yourself is more important than love for anyone else -- that is different from being selfish. One must look after themselves. If you submit to her every order, if you allow her to take from you all that you love making her the only thing left to love, then what? Then what if she leaves, what will be left other than an empty shell?
I had a boyfriend in high school that made me give up everything I loved to keep him around. Then when he left and I had nothing left, including friends, I felt like life wasn't worth living. I regret so much -- all the things I gave up. I loved him madly, so I gave up these things. When he was the only thing left to love, because everything else was gone, including the love for myself, he started abusing me mentally and occasionally physically, and running around on me...and having nothing left I held on to him for dear life.
I was young, and made a lot of retarded decisions, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it will be that extreme. But is giving up something you love, a piece of yourself essentially, because "she doesn't like them" at all fair?
I would choose my Charles over any animal, thing, or person. But one reason I love him is that I don't HAVE to choose, because with love comes respect, and with respect comes tolerance.
If her reigns are that tight because she "doesn't like them", does she REALLY love you? Would she leave you or make your life miserable if you simply stood up and said "no, I have a right to what I love, as you have a right to not interact and be around them?" If she would leave you, if it would affect your relationship, than she doesn't love you truly, and she is controlling you. That's far from healthy.
Love for yourself is more important than love for anyone else -- that is different from being selfish. One must look after themselves. If you submit to her every order, if you allow her to take from you all that you love making her the only thing left to love, then what? Then what if she leaves, what will be left other than an empty shell?
I had a boyfriend in high school that made me give up everything I loved to keep him around. Then when he left and I had nothing left, including friends, I felt like life wasn't worth living. I regret so much -- all the things I gave up. I loved him madly, so I gave up these things. When he was the only thing left to love, because everything else was gone, including the love for myself, he started abusing me mentally and occasionally physically, and running around on me...and having nothing left I held on to him for dear life.
I was young, and made a lot of retarded decisions, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it will be that extreme. But is giving up something you love, a piece of yourself essentially, because "she doesn't like them" at all fair?
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- Mar 8, 2009
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I'm glad my lady is into my hobbies, even if they are T's. She's really open-minded and enjoys my pets as much as I do
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- Sep 10, 2007
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the girlfriends i've had don't mind me keeping inverts.. usually it's my dead insect collection that gets them. my most recent one always gave me guff for killing bugs
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- May 5, 2007
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My ex hated me buying T's, it was a small international incident every time I brought a new one home. Now we aren't together and she goes out of her way to handle them. Not sure what to make of all that...
well we dont collect together but at least she says they are beauty now
wow!
wife met me having this pile of exotics - herps and inverts
only thing she asked me to quit was snakes (darn anaconda and snakes on plane!!!)
it was quite hard defending them over the years... almost everyday that i tried to convince her to spare my scorps. when i stopped asking her she said it herself that its ok just no snake and i have to limit my Ts
so before i acquire one i consider the color see which one is better
so now i've never been happy
(i think now she likes the leopard geckos saw her looking at one pic )
wow!
wife met me having this pile of exotics - herps and inverts
only thing she asked me to quit was snakes (darn anaconda and snakes on plane!!!)
it was quite hard defending them over the years... almost everyday that i tried to convince her to spare my scorps. when i stopped asking her she said it herself that its ok just no snake and i have to limit my Ts
so before i acquire one i consider the color see which one is better
so now i've never been happy
(i think now she likes the leopard geckos saw her looking at one pic
)
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- Sep 22, 2008
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- 3,112
all i have to say is....dont let someone rule you...be your own man or woman. hahaha....if my wife said "no" to anything i liked,loved or wanted id do it out of spite just to show im grown and my own person. but in retrospect she would do the same. ive been married ince i was 18 now im 21 not longi know but you learn quick or watch it fail. my wife wont touch aT andshe killed lots of A. henzis growing up but now will at least respect them enough to say ahhhh thats pretty.