Question time! Share with me about the people who hate your love of invertabrates.

[vespers]

You're taking it way out of context and too personally. (I'm not speaking of your own experiences, but your response to mine). I am 6'3'', have blue hair, am loud (as a few board members can attest), swear like a pirate wishes he could swear, have tattoos, 8 facial piercings, and am pretty thoroughly educated. Having tarantulas is hardly my defining characteristic. When people say they can't do it, we're in a discussion of exotic pets and it's generally from a position of admiring that I can rather than being dismissive. They're taking responsibility for their own hangups, rather than saying "you are icky" or "your spiders need to be smashed" In the end though, it doesn't matter wat they think anyway.

This thread is solely about negative experiences. If we made one with positive experiences I'd have much much more to say. In my twenty years associated with tarantulas, and shorter time having a personal collection/breeding stock I can say I have helped taken away the stigma from at least a dozen people and have encouraged and "convinced" three to begin owning their own. One of which recently branched into Old World tarantulas, and another of which used to flat out be afraid of spiders and use the words "I just don't like them?" Next time a thread like that comes around I will have a ton to say.

Similar situation for me as well...6' 4", heavily tattooed, somewhat abrasive, etc. yet fairly educated. Most people don't seem too shocked about me keeping arachnids, as if it just "fits the package" in some way. I don't get much negativity about it, usually just mild curiosity or passive indifference.

seems very important to do that nowadays. i got most of mine in secret and noone knew about them, i ddint see a reason too. then one day my now 'gf' asked y i had to stay up til 3 one day [i work nights] to sign for a package. told her scorpions and a tarantula.. now she refuses to even sit on my front porch and they are in beck of my house XD lol

and ofcourse the bug-bomb threats XD

That's not really a girlfriend, just your typical neighbor. :biggrin: If you two weren't really intimate in any capacity, that's a step below a relationship; but a step above one of bugmankeith's "Watering Hole" threads.

 

[Smokehound714]

*scans room for single ladies that love spiders*

"Hey baybay, wanna touch my aptostichus?"


Seriously though, it pisses me off that girls are scared of spiders. Well, that and my crippling love-shyness. For those of you that dont understand, love-shyness is a severe social anxiety disorder that makes it unbelievably difficult to interact with the opposite sex without alcohol. It was never really the spiders that repelled girls for me, just myself. I mean, granted some older women seem to like the shy guys, but.. Ahem ill not discuss that further lol.. Im still confused as to how the hell you guys find these female arachnophiles. I think i'll loiter around college or something and look for girls with spiders on their binders or something ahahha

 

[TLover007]

*scans room for single ladies that love spiders*

"Hey baybay, wanna touch my aptostichus?"


Seriously though, it pisses me off that girls are scared of spiders. Well, that and my crippling love-shyness. For those of you that dont understand, love-shyness is a severe social anxiety disorder that makes it unbelievably difficult to interact with the opposite sex without alcohol. It was never really the spiders that repelled girls for me, just myself. I mean, granted some older women seem to like the shy guys, but.. Ahem ill not discuss that further lol.. Im still confused as to how the hell you guys find these female arachnophiles. I think i'll loiter around college or something and look for girls with spiders on their binders or something ahahha

Like i said... my grl never liked them that much... but now she loves Ts geckos snakes...

Im crazy... and I Love Ts!!!!

 

[Buggidy]

You guys need to just look harder... We're everywhere

Also, if my boyfriend gave me shit for keeping Ts, his ass would be out the door in a blink of an eye. It's okay to not share the same hobbies, or even think Ts are creepy and gross. It's a completely different thing when someone is intentionally rude, close-minded, and just plain MEAN to their significant others about it. There's no reason to stay with someone who strongly dislikes a part of you, refuses to accept it, and makes you feel bad about it.

 

[Smokehound714]

You guys need to just look harder... We're everywhere

Also, if my boyfriend gave me shit for keeping Ts, his ass would be out the door in a blink of an eye. It's okay to not share the same hobbies, or even think Ts are creepy and gross. It's a completely different thing when someone is intentionally rude, close-minded, and just plain MEAN to their significant others about it. There's no reason to stay with someone who strongly dislikes a part of you, refuses to accept it, and makes you feel bad about it.

Maybe i'll attend a reptile expo or something, just to find a girl that likes spiders. I mean, at least my eidetic memory and knowledge will assist me, so that would probably help alot, assuming i dont repel them with my mixed signals and attempts to flee from social situations

 

[Buggidy]

Maybe i'll attend a reptile expo or something, just to find a girl that likes spiders. I mean, at least my eidetic memory and knowledge will assist me, so that would probably help alot, assuming i dont repel them with my mixed signals and attempts to flee from social situations

You don't even have to find a girl at an expo. Just find someone who's at least open-minded, and if she asks what you're into you casually and confidently mention that you have tarantulas. If she's open-minded she'll at least be somewhat interested and won't write you off immediately. Look at me, giving dating advice on AB... :sarcasm: Sorry guys, it just kills me to see people struggling to find potential significant others (or even friends) because of a hobby. It's ridiculous!

 

[Smokehound714]

It's not my hobby lol i just said that twice. It's my social phobia, i get scared of women like Yamcha in dragonball, it's actually exactly like that.

 

[Beary Strange]

Maybe i'll attend a reptile expo or something, just to find a girl that likes spiders. I mean, at least my eidetic memory and knowledge will assist me, so that would probably help alot, assuming i dont repel them with my mixed signals and attempts to flee from social situations

That may not work out either. The last herp show I attended many people made sure to let me know that I was crazy for buying Ts or to express their general freaked-out-ness by them.

 

[Smokehound714]

That may not work out either. The last herp show I attended many people made sure to let me know that I was crazy for buying Ts or to express their general freaked-out-ness by them.

Ugh... I guess my only shot is to bump into a girl that's looking for arachnids at the same place and time as I am in the wilderness or something.

I so want that to happen XD

 

[Rooney]

If you think your dating life is harsh, atleast you're not a male t, running for your life after you get some.

 

[Buggidy]

It's not my hobby lol i just said that twice. It's my social phobia, i get scared of women like Yamcha in dragonball, it's actually exactly like that.

What I meant is that girls are scared of you because of your hobby. Not that your hobby is what chases girls away. People are shitty for being so close-minded sometimes, there's nothing wrong with collecting T's. I hope that made a little more sense haha.

 

[Smokehound714]

What I meant is that girls are scared of you because of your hobby. Not that your hobby is what chases girls away. People are shitty for being so close-minded sometimes, there's nothing wrong with collecting T's. I hope that made a little more sense haha.

Oh, haha im not worried about that. I'll outright chew a person's head off for treating arachnids unfairly. I cant blame my hobbies or interests, but only myself for my problems, really, and the only way to overcome them is to get a better understanding and make a serious effort to better myself. I dont necessarily need a woman that loves arachnids, though it's pretty damn hot, but moving on... lol

 

[vespers]

If you think your dating life is harsh, atleast you're not a male t, running for your life after you get some.

Well, humans often find themselves in situations where they should've run for their life after they got some.

 

[pyro fiend]

Pyro fiend, sorry to hear about your gf having issues with your T's and scorpions. I'm pretty upfront with people about the animals I own and my passion for them. If a guy were to have an issue, he wouldn't be around long. They don't need to share my passion (although that would help!) but they need to respect that it is a big part of who I am.
I'm sure I'll encounter negativity at some point, it's inevitable, so I'm taking notes on the best ways to react!

Lol agreed tho when i got then i wasnt with her and didnt quite think to bring it up(she dislikes my herps too so didnt want to be near my room from the getgo) she hasnt tried ti make ne get rid of them. So ig shes semi supportive xD

That's not really a girlfriend, just your typical neighbor. :biggrin: If you two weren't really intimate in any capacity, that's a step below a relationship; but a step above one of bugmankeith's "Watering Hole" threads.

Lolol i more or less pulled the "if you realy loved me" card a few days ago and she agrees to see them today... just look she said if i got them out there would be a doorway in my door(meaning run through it).. ...you know the deer in the headlight look... yea that was her from the moment she walked in the house lol.. tho she didnt realy want near any of them i do think i opened her mind a lil with a gbb (got 2 slings on way) "ugly thing but the colors are pretty.. that one may be tollorable" SCORE xD lol now to get her over the fear

Sometimes you can make/mold them into perfection lol might be one of those cases xD. I bet her kid(2yrs old) will have an interest in my entire collection and thats only thing scaring her now xD

to me so long as they can tollerate them im happy lol..

Sent from my SCH-R530C using Tapatalk

 

[LordWaffle]

It's not my hobby lol i just said that twice. It's my social phobia, i get scared of women like Yamcha in dragonball, it's actually exactly like that.

You need alcohol and a wingman. I am an excellent wingman.

 

[klawfran3]

everyone's talking about how they want to meet their perfect other, meanwhile I'm sitting here dealing with the blunt force of highschoolers threatening me every turn. oh life, how do you work? haha.

 

[awiec]

everyone's talking about how they want to meet their perfect other, meanwhile I'm sitting here dealing with the blunt force of highschoolers threatening me every turn. oh life, how do you work? haha.

Eh everyone has a rough patch in their lives; mine was middle school as everyone was not sure of who they really are and tend to try to gain superiority by picking on others. High school was pretty uneventful for me as people knew I marched to my own drum and even the "cool" kids respected me for that; so I was on decent terms with most people. It always gets better and my college life is pretty calm, made some new friends, pulled all nighters and lived on ramen noodles and pita chips for a bit. While those 4 years were fun, I now have to get my big kid pants on and go get a job or go to grad school; not sure which one I will do yet.

As for the topic on hand, I have not received any nasty comments aside from my step father complaining I have too many bugs in my room. Everyone who finds out I have tarantulas say "oh that makes sense" as somehow my personality lends to me keeping odd critters. Then they ask if they are all the same, are they expensive, what do they do etc.

 

[klawfran3]

Eh everyone has a rough patch in their lives; mine was middle school as everyone was not sure of who they really are and tend to try to gain superiority by picking on others. High school was pretty uneventful for me as people knew I marched to my own drum and even the "cool" kids respected me for that; so I was on decent terms with most people. It always gets better and my college life is pretty calm, made some new friends, pulled all nighters and lived on ramen noodles and pita chips for a bit. While those 4 years were fun, I now have to get my big kid pants on and go get a job or go to grad school; not sure which one I will do yet.

As for the topic on hand, I have not received any nasty comments aside from my step father complaining I have too many bugs in my room. Everyone who finds out I have tarantulas say "oh that makes sense" as somehow my personality lends to me keeping odd critters. Then they ask if they are all the same, are they expensive, what do they do etc.

That's actually my favorite question to get: "what do they do?." it sort of lends itself to your imagination, and depending on the person you're talking to, you can either educate them with a bunch of cool facts, or give some crazy made up answer to get them to laugh.

 

[jecraque]

I'm late to the party but I gotta say, picking up ladies at hobbyist events is not cool. I know y'all are being facetious, but just in case someone reads it and thinks it's a good idea...
Sometimes people drive hours to go to these things; they are typically there for the herps/spiders/whatevs. Last thing anyone needs is to be drooled over like Harley Quinn at a Comic Con. Don't ruin someone's day by being that guy (again, not that I think anyone was being serious). If you just have to proposition strangers in public, hit up your local biology teachers instead--you'll find them at the nearest bar, the next county over (where they're less likely to run into students/parents). You get the bonus of alcohol, plus it's a much more acceptable location for meat-marketry*. Win-win!

For the record, when I was teaching, my female colleagues were way more cool with my spiders than my male colleagues, some of whom refused to enter my classroom. One of our ESL teachers, though, ended up buying a G. rosea and Euathlus sp. red. She's still fighting the good fight, & since she's shared between several schools, gets the word out a lot quicker than I ever did stuck in my classroom all day.

I'm sure I got my share of rude/cruel comments (mostly from male students) but they got shut down pretty quickly once some of the female students showed some interest. I was surprised to learn about a few other phobias from students, though. In one semester, I had a frog-phobic student, a worm-phobic student, and a butterfly-phobic student in addition to my standard arachnophobes. The butterfly-fearing girl was the worst--she'd try to persuade the boys to kill them on sight for her anytime I had the class outside.

*Although I have to say, I am now totally picturing a romantic comedy where two araneologists bump into one another in the woods while chasing the same spider. It'd have to be Zooey Deschanel and Ryan Gosling (with glasses), naturally.

 

[Smokehound714]

I'm late to the party but I gotta say, picking up ladies at hobbyist events is not cool. I know y'all are being facetious, but just in case someone reads it and thinks it's a good idea...
Sometimes people drive hours to go to these things; they are typically there for the herps/spiders/whatevs. Last thing anyone needs is to be drooled over like Harley Quinn at a Comic Con. Don't ruin someone's day by being that guy (again, not that I think anyone was being serious). If you just have to proposition strangers in public, hit up your local biology teachers instead--you'll find them at the nearest bar, the next county over (where they're less likely to run into students/parents). You get the bonus of alcohol, plus it's a much more acceptable location for meat-marketry*. Win-win!

For the record, when I was teaching, my female colleagues were way more cool with my spiders than my male colleagues, some of whom refused to enter my classroom. One of our ESL teachers, though, ended up buying a G. rosea and Euathlus sp. red. She's still fighting the good fight, & since she's shared between several schools, gets the word out a lot quicker than I ever did stuck in my classroom all day.

I'm sure I got my share of rude/cruel comments (mostly from male students) but they got shut down pretty quickly once some of the female students showed some interest. I was surprised to learn about a few other phobias from students, though. In one semester, I had a frog-phobic student, a worm-phobic student, and a butterfly-phobic student in addition to my standard arachnophobes. The butterfly-fearing girl was the worst--she'd try to persuade the boys to kill them on sight for her anytime I had the class outside.

*Although I have to say, I am now totally picturing a romantic comedy where two araneologists bump into one another in the woods while chasing the same spider. It'd have to be Zooey Deschanel and Ryan Gosling (with glasses), naturally.

Actually, despite what you'd think, i actually get hit on alot, lol.. Its when i actively try to talk to women that i fail. It doesnt matter, my body language gives it away and they can see im super uncomfortable and it makes them lose interest..

..........Oh yeah, people that hate spiders SUCK! Lol.. My sister is a hardcore arachnophobe (a TRUE one), and will vomit at the sight of them, even phidippus audax, which even people who generally hate all spiders find absolutely adorable thanks to their neotenous appearance and "cute" behavior.

EDIT: Why i highlighted that part in red, i don't know.