My fiance is OK with tarantulas, but none of the following:

[jebbewocky]

-Scorpions (because they look scary)
-Centipedes (because they are disgusting)
-Hissing cockroaches (because they are big, gross, and I already have feeder roaches)
-Whipscorpions (look scary, and ugly)
-Whipsiders (look scary, and ugly)
-Millipedes (are gross)
-Any sort of amphibian, or reptile (because I get too attached, and then get sad when they die. (I'm OK with this one, as I agree with her. I can keep my emotional distance a bit better with bugs))

She's OK with me having any and all of these (except herps) once we have a house, they are in their own room, and as long as I understand that if they escape they *will* be squished. The tarantulas will be in a seperate, more public room, and will not be squished, because they are fuzzy, and therefore adorable.

Incidentally, my description of millipedes as "adorable bug-trains, that will eat leftover salad" did not sway her on the millipedes. So, there goes *that* plan for how to use up my 20 gallon tank while at the apartment. I might just have to have a huge tank for H.incei, or for once my L.parahybana grows up. Probably way more room than even a huge LP needs though. Oh wells.

 

[Nikkeh]

It can kind of suck when your partner isn't as into the hobby as you are, before i was in my own house my mother wouldn't let me have ANYTHING. Within 2 weeks of getting my own house i had already bought 3 T's lol. Atleast she's into it enough for you to have them.

 

[jebbewocky]

It can kind of suck when your partner isn't as into the hobby as you are, before i was in my own house my mother wouldn't let me have ANYTHING. Within 2 weeks of getting my own house i had already bought 3 T's lol. Atleast she's into it enough for you to have them.

Believe me, I'm not complaining. I'm sharing more for comedy than anything else.

 

[Mister Internet]

It's totally fair. We have a rule that if anything gets out, everything goes. No escapes in almost 10 years... it's not that hard to keep things responsibly and have no escapes.

 

[jebbewocky]

It's totally fair. We have a rule that if anything gets out, everything goes. No escapes in almost 10 years... it's not that hard to keep things responsibly and have no escapes.

I don't know if I agree with her having a "if it gets out, it gets stomped" rule (particularly with scorps. That sounds like a bad idea), but having limits--sure. Every relationship has terms and limits inherent in it. These limits are especially reasonable considering that I got into the invert hobby after we got engaged. It would be a little different if I already had all those things beforehand and she tried limiting it after the fact.

I'll only keep millis if she changes her mind on the stomping rule for them. Millis are like, completely, and utterly inoffensive. That's the only one I really don't understand. Centipedes yuck me out a fair amount--which is part of the reason I want to keep them: to get over that.

 

[jebbewocky]

Oh, and mantids are ok, but she thinks my idea of buying an ootheca, and then letting them cannibalize on each other to reduce their numbers is creepy.

 

[gromgrom]

I don't know if I agree with her having a "if it gets out, it gets stomped" rule (particularly with scorps. That sounds like a bad idea), but having limits--sure. Every relationship has terms and limits inherent in it. These limits are especially reasonable considering that I got into the invert hobby after we got engaged. It would be a little different if I already had all those things beforehand and she tried limiting it after the fact.

smashing a P. Metallica = instant divorce?

 

[Mack&Cass]

Centipedes creeped me out big time, but then I got Mackenzie one for his birthday last year and I've warmed up to the not-so-little guy.

I can understand setting boundaries though, I actually had to recently draw the line somewhere when Mackenzie proposed culturing mosquitos. No way.

Cass

 

[xhexdx]

See, I have a bit of an issue with this...

I agree there should be compromise, and from both parties, but the reasons she gives for not wanting them in the house are (in my opinion) totally invalid. If she thinks they're gross and ugly, she can just avoid looking at them.

The squish thing I think is complete bull too, although I agree with Mr. I that if they are kept responsibly, that would never be an issue. But if she thinks they're gross and ugly, is she really going to be that gung-ho about squishing one all over the carpet/wall/ceiling?

Anyway...my .02 as usual.

--Joe

 

[CAK]

It's totally fair. We have a rule that if anything gets out, everything goes. No escapes in almost 10 years... it's not that hard to keep things responsibly and have no escapes.

I'm with you there M.I.! If she is home and one is out... There are no rules! If she is not home and one is out... The rule is as follows: Call her and notify her right away. She will not come home until it if found - Dead or Alive, or the place is bombed! In either situation a full post mortem is to be performed to establish exact cause and the person that causes it will be shot! Ok, I added the "shot" part for dramatics!




Joe - CAK

 

[CAK]

See, I have a bit of an issue with this...

I agree there should be compromise, and from both parties, but the reasons she gives for not wanting them in the house are (in my opinion) totally invalid. If she thinks they're gross and ugly, she can just avoid looking at them.

The squish thing I think is complete bull too, although I agree with Mr. I that if they are kept responsibly, that would never be an issue. But if she thinks they're gross and ugly, is she really going to be that gung-ho about squishing one all over the carpet/wall/ceiling?

Anyway...my .02 as usual.

--Joe

I totally agree with you too! Guess that means we are up to $0.04 now.


PS.. a big squished T would make one heck of a mess and the thought of the crunch almost gags me!

 

[jebbewocky]

See, I have a bit of an issue with this...

I agree there should be compromise, and from both parties, but the reasons she gives for not wanting them in the house are (in my opinion) totally invalid. If she thinks they're gross and ugly, she can just avoid looking at them.

The squish thing I think is complete bull too, although I agree with Mr. I that if they are kept responsibly, that would never be an issue. But if she thinks they're gross and ugly, is she really going to be that gung-ho about squishing one all over the carpet/wall/ceiling?

Anyway...my .02 as usual.

--Joe

I disagree with those reasons as well, but there are some other factors as well, that I didn't state in the OP.
The apartment we are moving into wouldn't really be big enough for her to avoid them, ayt least not meaningfully--but she's ok with us having them once we have a house. There's also a space issue--I can only keep so many inverts in an apartment, especially given my preference for keeping them for display moreso than for a collection.

The squish policy--might be enough for me to not keep these things honestly.
The only things I've ever had escape were leopard geckos (which I figured out and rectified) and feeders.

T's are safe from squishing though--just to make that clear.

 

[jebbewocky]

smashing a P. Metallica = instant divorce?

Spiders=no squish. And, frankly...I don't think I'll ever have a P.metallica. Too pricey.

 

[JC]

smashing a P. Metallica = instant divorce?

Yeah, that is pretty much what would happen if it were me.

 

[Moose9]

I am fortunate to have a wife that although hates everything I have living in my room, she still supports me all the way. My mom, ah, she just puts up with it cause I guess I am her son, not sure, but she's cool about my bugs too. My wife had a bad experience with roaches before we met. She had awaken to a bed full one time crawling all over her. She cringes every time I get a package, but deals with it.

Now as far as the stomp squish thing goes, mom is good with her cane. My wife won't even squish them, creeps out to much to try. If I have a roach escape due to my negligence or other, and she finds it, she tells me first before caning commences, LOL. We have B. lateralis come in the summer and I just tell mom its one of hers.

 

[maitre]

I am fortunate to have a wife that although hates everything I have living in my room, she still supports me all the way. My mom, ah, she just puts up with it cause I guess I am her son, not sure, but she's cool about my bugs too. My wife had a bad experience with roaches before we met. She had awaken to a bed full one time crawling all over her. She cringes every time I get a package, but deals with it.

I'm in the same boat. GF doesn't like them but tolerates them. She always threatens to never move in with me when I get my own place; but after much deliberation, we've come to the decision that as long as they are in their own room, they are okay to have in the house. Sweet - this means I already got the A-OKAY to give them their own room

 

[Dyn]

I lucked out and got the GF that kind of pulled me out of snakes into tarantulas. She was scared of them untill she held a rosehair. lol




Been selling off a couple snakes to get some more T's

About to pick up 2 big female p. regalis and an adult female obt. =D

 

[Shell]

It was my husband who initially suggested I get a tarantula to get over my fear of spiders. I did the research, got one, now I'm up to 14. He later admitted that he thinks they are a little creepy lol. He has warmed up to them, but he isn't as crazy about them as I am, he thinks they are interesting and will watch when I feed, rehouse etc but he is more into reptiles then inverts.

He recently bought an H. spinifer and I wasn't overly thrilled at first. Scorpions have always creeped me out a little, but I figured I could deal with that also. I think that compromise in a relationship is a good thing, but it needs to be reasonable. Him and I both draw the line at anything "hot" and most old worlds, as we have 2 young kids. Otherwise, if one of us wants to get into something that the other isn't initially happy about, we discuss it, rationally. The reasons need to be valid and not "it's gross" or something along those lines.

 

[Versi*JP*Color]

???

Your wife will let you keep T's and none of that.
I'd think a lady would go with a millipede if anything.

 

[Pociemon]

It's totally fair. We have a rule that if anything gets out, everything goes. No escapes in almost 10 years... it's not that hard to keep things responsibly and have no escapes.

Well said, same rule here, and no escapes....Really is not that difficult to keep a T inside the enclosure;-)