Coping with loss

PanzoN88

Arachnodemon
Old Timer
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Sep 15, 2014
Messages
712
I did not lose any of my tarantulas, but maybe it works in the same way, so how do you come to terms
with the loss of tarantulas that stick out in collections (ex: first tarantula or oldest tarantula)?
 

Poec54

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Mar 26, 2013
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4,742
By having a lot of spiders, and multiples of each species. When you have animals, you have to deal with death at some point, works the same with cats and dogs.
 

Enn49

Arachnosquire
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Apr 3, 2014
Messages
105
By having a lot of spiders, and multiples of each species. When you have animals, you have to deal with death at some point, works the same with cats and dogs.
The problem is that no 2 are the same in personality which I have found with my 3 H. incei so you do tend to end up with favourites no matter how hard you try not to. In my view losing a much loved T will be just as upsetting as losing any pet, luckily the only 2 I have lost so far have been tiny slings that I hadn't had chance to get attached to.
 

MrsHaas

ArachnoPimpstress, Queen of Molts
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Nov 1, 2012
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906
I've recently had two of my favorite Ts pass and I coped with the loss of them by preserving and mounting them for all to see and love. I just postd a thread on how to do this step by step, if anyone is interested in keeping their little ones for all of eternity lol. If not, a proper burial can be just as good. Just keep the good memories with you and their spirit will live on (corny, I know, but it helps).
 

Poec54

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The problem is that no 2 are the same in personality which I have found with my 3 H. incei
I have favorites too, and their behavior will vary, but there's not that many different kinds of personalities T's can have. Nowhere near as sophisticated as a cat or dog. To me, that's a much greater loss because of the mutual bonding.
 

skar

Arachnobaron
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Jan 19, 2010
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I don't understand this entirely; because I don't get attached to any arachnid.
I like them and find it fun but that is all.
I don't really feel any special bond with any of my inverts.
 

BobGrill

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Jan 25, 2011
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I don't understand this entirely; because I don't get attached to any arachnid.
I like them and find it fun but that is all.
I don't really feel any special bond with any of my inverts.
This is exactly how I feel. You don't really bond with an arachnid the way you do a cat or dog or even a reptile or bird. Yeah it sucks when one dies, but it doesn't really effect me much emotionally.
 

gobey

Arachnoknight
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Jun 20, 2014
Messages
287
I thought today I had lost my little B. albo after a molt. It's cold in my room now. I moistened his cup and put it ubder a blanket and he's fine now it seems.

But I was just kinda like.... "That sucks if he's dead". And that's it. Mostly because I have 4 of them. And this was one of my smallest freebies. If it was one of my 2 older bigger ones, it'd be different. Even then I wonder if I'd be more sad, or just kind of angry.

I definitely feel a bit less attached to my Ts on an individual level now that I have 16, then when I was at like 7.
 

awiec

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Feb 13, 2014
Messages
1,325
I'm more of well that sucks, as generally I put some time and money into them. But thing is with all the species I have I can easily replace with little cost. I was a little sad when my childhood cat died, she went out pretty quick as she stopped eating and died within 2 weeks; but you move on and possibly get a new animal.
 

ArachnoFreak666

Arachnopeon
Joined
Oct 13, 2014
Messages
19
as far as my arachnids go, if one of them died, yeah of course id be upset and all, but im not going to completely lose myself over the death. but if my full grown adult savannah monitor died, that would be a whole different story! ive had him since he was a little under 5" (hes 3 1/2 feet now) and that guy is my favorite pet that I currently own! if I lost him I would kill somebody, simple as that!
 

Cavedweller

Arachnoprince
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Mar 23, 2011
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1,064
I've not lost a T yet, but when one of my pedes die it bums me out for the rest of the day. I keep wondering if I did something wrong with their care. I don't know what I'm gonna do when my favorite one finally kicks it.
 

laurenkane

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Mar 11, 2014
Messages
101
All pets are difficult to lose. I preserve my inverts but have not been able to taxidermy my mammal pets (not sure why exactly). I am a taxidermist who has preserved other's rabbits, rats, mice, hamsters, etc....I just can't bring myself to do it myself for one of my own. I like doing cremation (most cities have specialized pet crematoriums, though, I don't think you can properly cremate a t - I would love to hear from someone who has?!) or old fashioned burials.

Here are some pet rabbits I preserved:
bunny museum.jpg

A g. pulchra I lost:
gpulchra.jpg

And my dear friend's hamster, Daisy:
daisy.jpg

We all have different ways of mourning so think hard if you think taxidermy/pet preservation is your correct move.
 

BobGrill

Arachnoprince
Old Timer
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Jan 25, 2011
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I'm a little bummed out when one of my tarantulas dies, but Its not really a huge blow to me emotionally. I'm over it in a day, sometimes less.
 

scorpionchaos

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Joined
Oct 15, 2012
Messages
133
I have twelve tarantulas and one centipede. When any of them die I'm devastated and almost become depressed for a week, mad at myself for not being able to help or do thing differently and usually blame my self for everything (not a hole lot else to blame). I get stoked when they go into premolt and feel enlightened post molt. I'm attached to them as much as plecos and my snakes. Not quite the same as my dog but she has been around for nine years. I remember when a breeder shipped me some small scorps that were DOA I cried for a few hours. I wasn't even attached to them but I know they wouldn't have died if I didn't needed them shipped so I felt really responsible.
 

MrsHaas

ArachnoPimpstress, Queen of Molts
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Nov 1, 2012
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906
All pets are difficult to lose. I preserve my inverts but have not been able to taxidermy my mammal pets (not sure why exactly). I am a taxidermist who has preserved other's rabbits, rats, mice, hamsters, etc....I just can't bring myself to do it myself for one of my own. I like doing cremation (most cities have specialized pet crematoriums, though, I don't think you can properly cremate a t - I would love to hear from someone who has?!) or old fashioned burials.

Here are some pet rabbits I preserved:
View attachment 131319

A g. pulchra I lost:
View attachment 131321

And my dear friend's hamster, Daisy:
View attachment 131320

We all have different ways of mourning so think hard if you think taxidermy/pet preservation is your correct move.
Omg I love your rabbits!!
 

Calloway

Arachnopeon
Joined
Oct 6, 2014
Messages
1
Not emotionally attached to them, as other's have said. Use a death more for learning purpose if possible, i.e. what caused the death, could it have been avoided, etc.
 

cold blood

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Staff member
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Jan 19, 2014
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13,572
Until recently, I have never really been attached or really concerned with death of a t, or most critters, it happens. I had previously only lost 2 t's over 14 years (both slings), one vagans to a bad molt (got stuck very early into it) and the other was a P. irminia that remains a mystery death...just crawled out, started webbing and died. Both were bummers, but I wasn't all tore up over them or anything. Recently, I made the mistake of letting my room cool too much prior to heating them, I just put it off one day too long. One I lost was a 1" B. albo, which died shortly after molting, bummed me out...but nothing really abnormal...then I found my 1+" B. albiceps dead...after raising it from under 1/2" to over an inch (over a year) and it being one of my favorites and the one I was most looking forward to watching grow into its adult colors.....well, that one went beyond being just bummed...that one actually hurt, even though I have another. I'm surprised at how much that one bothers me, probably because it was all my fault...I learn from mistakes like this, I just wish the slings didn't have to pay the price for my oopsie. I consider that an unacceptable loss.

Still nothing like losing a dog though, that's the definition of heartbreak...its been 3 years since I lost my last boxer and I still can't even talk about it without welling up....happening right now in fact.:( I love dogs, but one fact about them is that they are GAURANTEED heartbreak at some point...I wished they lived as long as my t's or turtles...10 years is just soooo short to spend with a true best friend.:(
 

Auhagen

Arachnopeon
Joined
Oct 27, 2014
Messages
0
I just lost my first sling today. Had it for a year, and today it died stuck in the molting process.
I was concerned last night when going to bed, so actually went op a couple of times in the night, to check if any progress.
This morning it was almost dried up, so i tried to help and moisture it a bit, but it was too late.

I dont know why I take it so hard, but right now my heart is bleeding. Not like loosing a family member, and I'm a bit surprised over my reaction.
I just take it as a good sign, that i really loved the little bugger that much, and gave him all, even though I feel like i let him down right now.
 

TarantulaObsession

Arachnosquire
Joined
Jul 26, 2014
Messages
96
I am a highly emotional person and tend to get very attached. I haven't lost a T yet but I know that my MM Rose hair is going to be passing soon and I know it's going to break my heart. He is my very first tarantula and he's the one who made me so fond of tarantulas which brought me to a whole new world of tarantula hobbyists that I never even knew existed. However, I would just preserve them to kind of keep them alive in my mind, if that makes any sense.
 

pyro fiend

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Joined
Dec 29, 2013
Messages
1,216
iv been reluctant to post on here due to getting a 3rd degree..most are right..a new spider helps.. infact, i changed out my avics cage a few months back and obviously it didnt hold in humidity [i thought more holes more life.. i learned my lesson sofar now using i believe pocs style of 32oz holes] when i lost my aavic. he was my first T.. little 1/3" when i got him.. he put up so much with me.. he was one of my my problem children -.- but it still sucked pretty hard =\ so to help a little bit. id been eyeing a GBB fem. so to help get my mind off of it.. within a week i had an order of 0.1 gbb 5" 0.0.1 A.versi [new container giv it one more shot i hope] 0.0.1 G. pulchripes and a 0.0.1 P.irminia..

an order of T's [or herps in some cases] always takes the edge off ;)
 
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