I really love the Aphonopelma genus, and I have a particular fondness for chalcodes because it has such large chelisera! Just keep offering food, she'll eat someday. Aphonopelma grow super slow so they don't need as much food.
@Liakos13 I would not feed mealworms exclusively. Variety is always a good idea and my understanding is that crickets and roaches are thought to offer an optimal nutrient ratio for adult T’s (whereas larvae are higher in fat and so are better once in a while or for growing T’s). I could be mistaken on that and I don’t know if anyone really knows their dietary requirements...
As for how much how often, that is really difficult for me to say as it varies sooo much throughout the year! I go by several cues: If my A. chalcodes has not, to my knowledge, left their burrow, I don’t offer food but continue to make sure that clean water is available for when they do. If the abdomen appears the appropriate size, I generally offer one full-grown cricket or similar sized prey item per week. If they appear under-sized or have just started eating again after molting, I offer probably three crickets (or equivalent) per week until they look a healthy size and/or show diminishing interest in food. All of my Aphonopelma (even those still growing) show no interest in food over the winter months. I don’t even offer food if they’ve webbed/barricaded themselves into their burrow.
I hope that helps and wasn’t simply confusing! The main point I think is to not stress about these tarantulas eating — they have evolved to have fasts — and to get accustomed to your spider’s normal appearance and behavior. You will learn their rhythms and when they want food.