SOs Who Don't Like Spiders

[Lil Paws]

Did any of you discover discomfort or resistance from your significant other when it came to owning large pet spiders? Did they change their minds/feelings with time? Did you do anything to help them overcome their dislikes/fears?

My DH and I rarely argue, but I think one of the biggest fights we had in years was after I got our first Ts. Now he told me he'll pick up all the spider traps in the basement (our Ts are on a separate floor, but I hate the idea of wolf spiders possibly being caught in them), and today I caught him curiously looking into the G. Pulchripes's enclosure I just moved into the room. I don't expect him to like every thing I am interested in (and vice versa), but I'm secretly hoping this may change the way he views spiders.

 

[grumpycow3]

i dont even have friends let alone an SO

 

[ShyDragoness]

I had an almost boyfriend who became a not-even-a-friend when I got tarantulas Haha I had a girlfriend for awhile who was really up for getting Ts but we never got around to it(and it turned out she was kinda back stabbing so that was probably a good thing), other than that I haven't got much of a social or love life sorry I cant contribute more

 

[Venom1080]

SOs that don't like spiders? You mean Ex's?

 

[Lil Paws]

i dont even have friends let alone an SO

Oh, my. I'm sorry. I have been there. It can get better, and I hope it will for you soon. <3

I had an almost boyfriend who became a not-even-a-friend when I got tarantulas Haha I had a girlfriend for awhile who was really up for getting Ts but we never got around to it(and it turned out she was kinda back stabbing so that was probably a good thing), other than that I haven't got much of a social or love life sorry I cant contribute more

What an adventure! Hope your next sweetie shares your passion in Ts.

SOs that don't like spiders? You mean Ex's?

I like the way you think.

We married years ago, but I just recently got "bit" by inverts keeping—so we're stuck with one another. I had bought our first T while he was on a trip and had really under-estimated his feelings (probably a phobia) about spiders. I am hopeful he continues to come around. It's not like I wasn't a weird animal person when we first met (I had reptiles). My first pets passed away from age, and I stayed away from exotics for about 9 years...until now... Ts seem to be fascinating, full of personality, and yet simple to care for as long as you have proper information and a good setup (at least the ones I brought home have been).

 

[Chris LXXIX]

- The term 'significant other' is ridicolous for me. If I ask here in Italy to a bunch of random old geezers long time married, 7 out of 10 regret that in no time, laughing at me for believing in such 'innocent' and 'gentle' definition. The other 3 directly killed the wife

- I've already said, here on this site and pretty randomly, what once one of my fiance (the one that resisted more, I mean) told me, but for the joy of @Leila here we go: me, calling her 'ornata' instead of 'Ornella' (her name) for the last time, after a night of party offered to me by my Chinese friends. She, saying 'Chris I'm not one of your freaking spiders you love to put into a cage' disappeared

- Today? Well I don't have such problems at all, in all honesty.
My 'significant other' and my 'significant others' as well (my two childrens, and a normal puppy-dog) loves my T's, my inverts, everything. They never complain about. They are made of wood, realistic sized replicas, and always sitting on the table chair waiting the return of the master of the house. No noise. No discussions about crappy issues. With such an engraved wood smile, always.

This is what a man needs to find when he returns home, after an hard day of work, God damn it! This, and a good glass of Jack Daniels 'Sinatra' Edition.

After, usually I kiss my (amazing) wood wife replica on the head mocking James Brown's voice in 'It's A Man's Man's Man's World'

I'm an happy man, basically

 

[grumpycow3]

Oh, my. I'm sorry. I have been there. It can get better, and I hope it will for you soon. <3

there's someone at school everyone thinks i go out with but we barely even know each other lol

 

[Chris LXXIX]

I had an almost boyfriend who became a not-even-a-friend when I got tarantulas Haha I had a girlfriend for awhile who was really up for getting Ts but we never got around to it(and it turned out she was kinda back stabbing so that was probably a good thing), other than that I haven't got much of a social or love life sorry I cant contribute more

But you are loved, on the other hand, by the Goddess*

*0.1 Pelinobius muticus PBUH (Peace Be Upon Her)

 

[darkness975]

Did any of you discover discomfort or resistance from your significant other when it came to owning large pet spiders? Did they change their minds/feelings with time? Did you do anything to help them overcome their dislikes/fears?

My DH and I rarely argue, but I think one of the biggest fights we had in years was after I got our first Ts. Now he told me he'll pick up all the spider traps in the basement (our Ts are on a separate floor, but I hate the idea of wolf spiders possibly being caught in them), and today I caught him curiously looking into the G. Pulchripes's enclosure I just moved into the room. I don't expect him to like every thing I am interested in (and vice versa), but I'm secretly hoping this may change the way he views spiders.

I also have no gf like most of the others in this thread apparently, so there is no one to really give resistance in my case.
I just settled to go it alone. In the end, it's probably easier.


I have learned over time not to tell anyone about them anymore. Tired of the same old ignorant and annoying snarks, jeers, and general disgust it evokes.

 

[Shampain88]

My "SO" is apparently now an expert in invertebrates so I need not worry lol

 

[The Grym Reaper]

I have absolutely no interest in dating so I don't have to worry about it.

 

[ShyDragoness]

@Shampain88 Thanks for the cake

 

[Shampain88]

@Shampain88 Thanks for the cake

No problemo lol

 

[Svetlana14]

Did any of you discover discomfort or resistance from your significant other when it came to owning large pet spiders? Did they change their minds/feelings with time? Did you do anything to help them overcome their dislikes/fears?

My DH and I rarely argue, but I think one of the biggest fights we had in years was after I got our first Ts. Now he told me he'll pick up all the spider traps in the basement (our Ts are on a separate floor, but I hate the idea of wolf spiders possibly being caught in them), and today I caught him curiously looking into the G. Pulchripes's enclosure I just moved into the room. I don't expect him to like every thing I am interested in (and vice versa), but I'm secretly hoping this may change the way he views spiders.

My boyfriend doesn't like spiders. He deals with it for the most part. We've had a couple arguments about it though. I want to get more and he doesn't. We have been talking about moving in together, and he told me he doesn't want more than 10 tarantulas and one scorpion in the house. He is adamant about no centipedes, which I want to get someday. I'm hoping that I will be able to change his mind, because I want more than 10 tarantulas. I have 5 right now and a list of others I would like to get in the future, so hopefully he comes around!

 

[darkness975]

My boyfriend doesn't like spiders. He deals with it for the most part. We've had a couple arguments about it though. I want to get more and he doesn't. We have been talking about moving in together, and he told me he doesn't want more than 10 tarantulas and one scorpion in the house. He is adamant about no centipedes, which I want to get someday. I'm hoping that I will be able to change his mind, because I want more than 10 tarantulas. I have 5 right now and a list of others I would like to get in the future, so hopefully he comes around!

You know , people really should count their blessings. There are so many other ways you (or anyone for that matter) could get in trouble.

Invertebrate keeping isn't one of them.


I'm pretty sure if I did have a gf I wouldn't once she saw my collection. It's not super huge , but that wouldn't likely matter. Even one sends people over the edge.

 

[Shampain88]

My boyfriend doesn't like spiders. He deals with it for the most part. We've had a couple arguments about it though. I want to get more and he doesn't. We have been talking about moving in together, and he told me he doesn't want more than 10 tarantulas and one scorpion in the house. He is adamant about no centipedes, which I want to get someday. I'm hoping that I will be able to change his mind, because I want more than 10 tarantulas. I have 5 right now and a list of others I would like to get in the future, so hopefully he comes around!

Get a centipede to truly test him! I'd have my pets before any woman, stamp your authority

 

[ZHESSWA]

I introduce them to all my friends, dates/girlfriends and normally they start out going eeewww, but at the very least leave the conversation about my tarantulas with respect for them as animals. Normally they admit that they are beautiful and pretty fascinating, yes even the girls lol!

 

[Garth Vader]

When I first started dating my husband about 10 years ago, his friends were really skeptical that it would work out because he is a surfer and I am not. I've gone a few times but I'm not up for surfing in the Washington water in the middle of winter. That takes a, um, special kind of personality. Just like keeping tarantulas, I suppose. Anyway- his friends were very used to women becoming very upset about it because it takes up a lot of time and it would be a real problem in the relationship. But for us it worked out well. He loves surfing and it makes him happy (sometimes I even encourage him to go just because he seems to feel a lot better afterwards). A benefit also is it gives me time to do what I want like go on meditation retreats, spend time with my girlfriends, go away for therapy trainings, go on little trips of my own. I've always been pretty independent so this worked well for me- because then he can go off and surf and it's no big deal. So this is the way we look at lots of things.

Now as for getting tarantulas, that was a stretch at first because they really grossed him out and now he's okay with them. He really has gotten more used to them over time and it helped that for a while I had them but they didn't actually live in our home as they do now. He just doesn't want to take care of them, which is fine because he doesn't need to. What I have found is that for people who feel fear and/ or disgust around spiders, gradual exposure and learning over time will be helpful and will eventually make those emotions go down, or go away altogether. I think this can work for friends, significant others, etc.

I think it's important for people to have hobbies and to respect what the other one does. So often in relationships, people get possessive and jealous or they judge what the other person enjoys doing just because they don't like it. I'm very glad that we've been able to be respectful of one another's hobbies. Besides, he probably gets to win any conversations about weird wives with his surf bros when he's like "my wife has 9 tarantulas and I KNOW she is going to get more".

I attached a picture of when he caught a spider (haha) for me to take to work, since before I got my tarantulas I was often in the shed and the garden trying to catch spiders to take to work with me for exposure therapy sessions. A good sense of humor goes a long way.

 

[TyjTheMighty]

You know , people really should count their blessings. There are so many other ways you (or anyone for that matter) could get in trouble.

Invertebrate keeping isn't one of them.


I'm pretty sure if I did have a gf I wouldn't once she saw my collection. It's not super huge , but that wouldn't likely matter. Even one sends people over the edge.

Wow, maybe you should move and meet some more open minded ppl. I've literally never had that problem. I've only experienced one person (who i didn't even know) who was absolutely disgusted. Most ppl are just curious - they may still think they're icky, but there's no judgement. And a lot of ppl think they're really cool

 

[darkness975]

Wow, maybe you should move and meet some more open minded ppl. I've literally never had that problem. I've only experienced one person (who i didn't even know) who was absolutely disgusted. Most ppl are just curious - they may still think they're icky, but there's no judgement. And a lot of ppl think they're really cool

The north east isn't known for tolerant or particularly intelligent people. They just think they are because they're elitists.