SOs Who Don't Like Spiders

[Leila]

My boyfriend of 3 years was totally cool with my tarantulas. He wasn't as enthusiastic as I, but he did listen to me when I gleefully listed off who had recently molted, who was a superior hunter during a feeding, etc.

I am single now, but I refuse to date anyone who does not respect my interests. No thanks.

 

[CyclingSam]

My wife loves me dearly. The proof is in the fact that she was one of the most arachnophobic people I have ever known, yet she let me get some spiders anyway. I am unsure how I ever talked her into letting me get some. She originally told me that I could get two. She came to the breeders with me and I was going to pick up a B. emilia and an A. genic. We ended up leaving with four; the two plus a B. hamorii and a G. pulchripes. Over the last two-ish years my collection has grown to 28 spiders including 4 OWs and a L. hesperus. She does not particularly love them, but her interest has grown and I catch her watching them all the time. I count myself a lucky man.

 

[Lil Paws]

I'm wondering what part of the Northeast you are in, Darkness? I'm by DC and haven't run into that in a number of years—though I used to feel like you. I found I had to really look for people with similar interests. People around here drive like maniacs, keep to themselves, and the art scene is more dry than the West (too many government contractors and business people), but there's plenty of cool/unique/open-minded types if you look for them.

 

[atraxrobustus]

The north east isn't known for tolerant or particularly intelligent people. They just think they are because they're elitists.

I live in Oklahoma, and everyone else in the house seems intent on killing anything with eight legs. Needless to say, it kind of ticked me off when I moved up from Florida and had to give up my Blue Cobalt, because some people can't peaceably coexist with it.

 

[Paul1126]

I think I'm lucky, I found someone who is scared of spiders but doesn't mind my tarantulas and finds them interesting.

 

[Paul1126]

I'm pretty sure if I did have a gf I wouldn't once she saw my collection.

I don't think that's true, if you found someone that actually likes you for who you are I doubt they'd care what sort of animals you keep.

 

[atraxrobustus]

I don't think that's true, if you found someone that actually likes you for who you are I doubt they'd care what sort of animals you keep.

One would hope, but I've seen alot of people, particularly women, loose their marbles when it comes to arachnids in general.

 

[Paul1126]

One would hope, but I've seen alot of people, particularly women, loose their marbles when it comes to arachnids in general.

Then they are the ones to avoid!

 

[atraxrobustus]

Then they are the ones to avoid!

Yes, I know, right? Like the type of woman who flaps her arms violently over her daughter holding a female A. Hentzi a good few years back, and then wondering WHY her daughter got bit? I mean really, at least in my experience, its kinda hard to tick off the Aponopelma genus, absent doing something incredibly stupid. Alas, it's interesting how some people cant follow instructions, and then want to blame you when the predictable consequences happen. Sad thing was I couldn't get her daughter anywhere near a spider after that.

 

[atraxrobustus]

For that matter, One thing I notice is that I tend to get a lot of crap from people under an argument that goes something like "why one would want to keep a spider, since they can be problematic to handle, and aren't as suitable as pets as say, a cat." And then go off on a PETA rant from there, saying that some how the T's are "abused" because they've been domesticated in small enclosures, as opposed to a natural habitat, comparing things to industrial grade chicken farming, puppy mills, etc.

 

[Staehilomyces]

I've never had my invert collecting hobby negatively impact my social life. Quite the contrary in fact - my first conversation with many of my best friends started when they took interest in my pets, and started asking questions. I've found them to be great conversation starters. So far, I've yet to encounter someone who wants nothing to do with me after finding out about my hobby, but if that happens, I certainly won't be mourning his/her departure.

 

[Olan]

My wife used to be like "12 tarantulas? That's way too many. You need to sell some". Now she's like "when are you going to get me a Cyriopagopus schioedtei? And a balfouri? And a H. pulchripes?"

 

[Andrea82]

My husband took a package with a Theraphosid in it with shaking hands from the delivery guy three years ago. A week ago he stood watch with my T.violaceus enclosure to make sure she didn't get out. The sliding plane of glass had broken and i had to make ready a temporary enclosure which i needed to get from the shed. I think he is the most dedicated husband of the world and loved him even more after this . The spider was perfectly fine and in her burrow all the time but still...

That being said, i will not tolerate an SO who would object just because he/she doesn't like my hobby. If they would object because i have no tupperware/space/money anymore, that's fine and rational. But just because? Never.
Most of my family goes 'ewww' and actually startle when i talk about them and they are reminded again that there are big hairy spiders in the same house.
Which i sometimes do just to see their reactions. I'm evil like that...

 

[Georgia B]

In my humble opinion, if he has a genuine phobia, you should have respect and compassion for that. I wouldn’t ever ask my husband to come caving with me, that would be a nightmare for him. (Though he’s amazingly tolerant of all the bugs.) Human relationships come before pets. Maybe slow down the collecting and have a frank discussion about whether he thinks he could get used to the T’s a little at a time, and if not, be creative about solving the problem, like maybe keep them somewhere else like at the office or something. Just my two cents.

 

[Chris LXXIX]

I love the fact that recently you started to use this 'smilies', and I like how you use that

Still, my fav. from you is 'SMH '

 

[Lil Paws]

One would hope, but I've seen alot of people, particularly women, loose their marbles when it comes to arachnids in general.

Most of my female friends are actually pretty chill about spiders, but I mostly hang out with crunchy people, weird art people, and/or hard-core animal people. Ironically, one of the most spider phobic people I met was my old boss from college. I worked in a pet store a few years, and she was the toughest lady about all things—except spiders. She'd even scream at us not to bring the molts near her.

Anyhow, I was very much surprised by the extent of my husband's negativity when I first bought the B. Albo. He was on a business trip, and I thought, he'll be like, "Oh, there you are again causing trouble and getting another pet while I'm gone," and I'd be like, "Yeah, but at least it's not a 3 legged dog who snarls at you." And then we'd laugh it off.

Nope. My normally mellow guy became livid—even though the spider(s) were in a room he rarely goes into and our kid was excited about them. Luckily, this was very short-lived. This week, I moved the G. Pulchripes into our room onto my dresser to give the other T. enclosures more space. She's in pet hole mode so it will be interesting to see how he'll react after she molts and hangs out on her hide again. I expect I'll hear him say, "Holy crap! It's a huge spider!" a couple times and then completely desensitize—and then tell me how to care the G. Pulchripe's care. XD

 

[Shampain88]

I love the fact that recently you started to use this 'smilies', and I like how you use that

Still, my fav. from you is 'SMH '

She's gave me a few of those lmao

 

[Grace Cannell]

My boyfriend was petrified of mine when I first got them, but he totally respected my interest in them and actually bought me my first one and was ok with them moving in with him when we got to that stage. He is still kind of jumpy particularly when he films a feeding video for me but he thinks they're amazing animals and has the confidence to feed my sling. I am very thankful he has made the effort to share the interest and conquer some of his fear in the process.

 

[Lil Paws]

In my humble opinion, if he has a genuine phobia, you should have respect and compassion for that. I wouldn’t ever ask my husband to come caving with me, that would be a nightmare for him. (Though he’s amazingly tolerant of all the bugs.) Human relationships come before pets. Maybe slow down the collecting and have a frank discussion about whether he thinks he could get used to the T’s a little at a time, and if not, be creative about solving the problem, like maybe keep them somewhere else like at the office or something. Just my two cents.

I totally agree...except I never had any idea he was so phobic until I bought a T. In the past, he smashed spiders, but I thought it was a macho thing—versus a phobic thing. He never freaked over my pet snakes and I mistakenly assumed those phobias usually went hand-in-hand for most people. I would have done things differently if I had any idea of his feelings.

Luckily, he is fine with it now, and he seems to slowly be changing his views about spiders (the horrible sticky traps are gone )... I don't expect him to ever really partake in T ownership, and that's okay. We have hobbies we enjoy together and ones we enjoy on our own. It's more fun to have differences.

 

[Gossamer]

The boyfriend pretty much accepted it from the get-go. He was a little hesitant, but he's now pretty neutral to the idea. He likes to hear me gush about my pets, but he doesn't have any interest towards them really... but I did get him to nickname my GBB He did ask that I not get 100 Ts, because I like to surprise quiz him on the names of my tarantulas, and he wouldn't be able to remember them all

My friends are a mixed bunch, but most find it pretty cool. But out of all of them, I just had 1 one go 'ew that's so gross' and I quickly stopped her right there and let her know how rude it was. And then another one who I think is arachnophobic, so I don't send her pictures or anything like that - however she's never made a rude comment, so it's possible to be scared and not be a jerk. The one T that always manages to receive comments like "ok fine, she's cute, I'll admit it" is my fuzzy pink e. campestratus. So she's always my secret weapon

New people find it pretty cool, but I don't make it a habit to broadcast that I own Ts. Most are curious, though - my coworker especially, he had no idea that 'tarantulas come in different colours???'. Very cute haha