Your best spider jokes

[MrGhostMantis]

I’ve been sitting on this idea for a while and finally decided to post a thread on it in here! I think it will be a good pass of time for anyone bored in quarantine - or just bored and want to have a laugh.
But yeah, feel free to post any tarantula/spider/other invert jokes. I wish I had a joke prepped for this!

 

[Poonjab]

What do you get when you cross a spider with a squirrel?
A bug that runs up your leg and eats your nuts.

 

[EnigmaNyx]

I tried to kill a spider with axe body spray...


It didn’t work. Now it’s name is Brett, it won’t stop hitting on my girlfriend, and it won’t shut the ___ up about CrossFit.

 

[DomGom TheFather]

Wife told me to undress her with my words.

I told her a spider went down her shirt.

 

[Smotzer]

Humidity.

 

[The Grym Reaper]

What do you call an arboreal tarantula that goes out partying all night?

Rave-icularia

 

[Smotzer]

What do you call an arboreal tarantula that goes out partying all night?

Rave-icularia

I really love this, im adding this to my arsenal of things to say to my SO that she'll role her eyes at me about when I talk about spiders hahaha.

And Is this yours, did you make it up!?

 

[The Grym Reaper]

And Is this yours, did you make it up!?

Yeah, I have a thing for god-awful puns and portmanteaus

 

[Smotzer]

Yeah, I have a thing for god-awful puns and portmanteaus

So do I, thats why I enjoyed it so much!! Well great work I thought it was clever and funny

 

[Arthroverts]

All my best arachnid jokes are in here.

Which reminds me, I need to go update that...

Thanks,

Arthroverts

 

[Matt Man]

What has 8 legs and likes living in trees?


Four anti road protesters?

 

[Tarantulafeets]

Which tarantula doesn't eat animals?

Tlilocatl vegan

 

[14pokies]

More of a limerick.. Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and wey.. Along came a spider, it sat down beside her and said yo ____ what's in the bowl? "Andrew Dice Clay"

 

[Tarantulafeets]

Just thought of this one:
Which tarantula does the bodybuilder like the most?

Brachypelma all-biceps

 

[l4nsky]

Do memes count? Saw this on AB awhile back and I saved it cause it gave me a good chuckle lol.

 

[Pulmonoscorpius]

I wanna see your worst spider jokes!

 

[Ratmosphere]

Wife told me to undress her with my words.

I told her a spider went down her shirt.

Not mine but a good one.

 

[Introvertebrate]

Not mine but a good one.

That joke is barely hanging by a thread.

 

[CentiPete]

Where did the spider learn to molt? A webinar roflcoptermao!!11!1!


And why did it bring a board? To surf the web! Muahahahaa!!!

How do you call a Balfouri Communal after 2010? A Social Network!! Teeeheheheehehee

What do spiders with small dicks brag about? Their NET worth!
Akhakhakhakh

 

[Introvertebrate]

How do you catch a unique spider? Unique up on it.

What if it's a tame spider? Tame way.