When The Wife Says "Hell No!"

KaptinKrunch

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 29, 2017
Messages
2
Been looking at Singapore Blue's recently. My wife finally allowed me to add another spider to my collection except this morning she said: "If its a cobolt, or singapore blue you have no chance! Pick another".

It looks like I won't be getting one. At least not yet, until I can get her around. She has no problem with species that are not considered defensive.

5 years ago I convinced her to allow me to have a sicarius hahni (six eyed sand spider). She was ok with it because it couldn't climb glass and the enclosure was very secure, even though a bite from one would be potentially fatal. I had it padlocked too because we have a child and I had to take precautions.

Funny story when it came to rehousing the sicarius hahni. Nothing bad happened, but I won't lie, the first time I was crapping myself. I'd read horror stories of them shooting up the tweezers so I was very cautious. It took me a while to compose myself. I ended up doing it in the bath tub so if it escaped it wasn't going to get out around the house. Thankfully all went well and it was a beautiful species to watch. In the 4 years I had her it never once showed any sign of being defensive.

It seems like convincing her to get a singapore blue is going to be tough. Maybe because she knows they are defensive. I don't know. She watches videos like this:


... and then says "nope".

^ That guy is an idiot too. The spider is clearly in a defensive position and he's trying to handle and touch it! Who attempts to hold an OW anyway? That's stupid imho.

Any tips? Maybe I should buy her some new makeup, or clothes and hope she comes around ha ha. We have a rose that gets defensive at times so I don't get it.
 
Last edited:

Shudragon

Arachnopeon
Joined
Jan 26, 2017
Messages
43
As you mentioned, trying to handle an OW is really silly, as long as you know how to rehouse properly and take plenty of precautions, it isnt much more dangerous than having a sicarius. Imo, the sicarius is arguably more dangerous, because even to a child a tarantula bite *should not* be dangerous. Painful as hell and say goodbye to your collection from your wife, but thats what I would argue.

Also great for your kid to teach em about how to respect spiders and all living things because they all act and react differently.
 

GreyPsyche

Arachnosquire
Joined
Jun 19, 2016
Messages
92
So here's what I did, I've wanted Ts for years and years well, one day I mentioned it and she was skeptical, showed her some videos, occasionally brought it up a few times over the period of a year showing her videos and pics. Finally said, hey, seen this site online selling Ts, I'm gonna get this one, you want one too? They say this is a good beginner one how about it? Then I got a freebie for buying two and on top of that she thinks my GBB is prettier than her rosehair so now she needs something super pretty like an purpea or a Versicolor. Told her that was perfectly fine but we should buy several at a time because it's cheaper on shipping getting 3 at a time instead of one. Ya gotta play the head game, man! Hahaha
 

Goodlukwitthat

Arachnoknight
Joined
Mar 10, 2015
Messages
179
Yup that guy is definitely an idiot. My gf and I just got our mature female C. lividium (we have other OWs) She was skeptical on getting one because the other OWs we have are slings right now and one that's a juvenile is literally a pet hole (H. gigas) so looking at a larger kritter keeper with dirt isn't intimidating whatsoever lol. (can't say I'm looking forward to that rehouse though lol) As for the C. lividium when we first got her, we both chalked up her 'docilness' to poor conditions at the pet store.. aka pet store lethargy. I set up a 10 gal tank and rehoused her in the bath tub just fine. The only downfall since having her.... she has refused to make her burrow where the hide is.... She has fully webbed up a section of plants at the end of the tank and fully sealed it shut. the 2nd day of having her I took pictures of her and received full threat pose (I had a nice chuckle out of it) Given this has been roughly 1 week.... she has not moved from the web against the tank..... truthfully this is gonna suck for feeding time if she decides to reside there permanently. I'd suggest having your wife watch good videos of ppl who aren't trying to handle their OWs so she can actually see that they aren't always in full force attack mode and evil little monsters :D Honestly though take the plunge, blues are definitely beauties (well mine is lol I've never owned a Singapore blue)
 

KaptinKrunch

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 29, 2017
Messages
2
Thanks for the replies guys :)

I've been having a chat with her since posting this and I was ready to accept she may not be ready just yet. She was watching some T's on Youtube because she said she would allow me to get a less defensive species. After watching a few she said "Ooooh why don't you get one these orange ones, they look stunning". I almost didn't want to say anything to her, but I guess she deserves to know if she's willing to allow it to live in the house.

She done a bit more research and I said "So am I ordering the OBT?". To my surprise she said yes! Now I didn't want an OBT (although they are super cool. I've had one many years ago), so I'm still going to hold out she says yes to a singapore blue. If she can allow an OBT she can allow a singapore blue :) :) :) :)

She's awesome though. Got to give her credit she's came a long way with spiders. I remember when we first met she wouldn't even walk near the T tanks at the reptile store.
 

Pennywise

Arachnolord
Old Timer
Joined
Jul 31, 2005
Messages
661
My wife has been great about my addictions. BY the way we share one, raising butterfies. Over the last 4 years or so we raised a couple of hundred Monarchs, Gulf Frittillaries and Black Swallowtails. Fun hobby except you wind up cleaning up a lot of caterpillar poop Ha! She took care of my Pokie (metallica) and my Irminia for months while I was hospitalized. I'm back home now and thinking about more Ts.
 

Goodlukwitthat

Arachnoknight
Joined
Mar 10, 2015
Messages
179
Before my gf and I ever got together she had horrible arachnophobia to the point she would literally cry out of fear if she even saw 1 spider in the same room as her. She knew I loved spiders when we met and was okay with that. It took me a solid year and a half to get her to handle a baby jumping spider that came into our old apartment window.... 2 years to get her to actually want a tarantula (which we did and that's what got her to love them). We've been together 4 years this May and you'd never be able to tell that she ever had a fear of them. Proper research and taking the plunge goes a long way :p
 

Chris LXXIX

ArachnoGod
Active Member
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
5,689
I have the solution, rejoice!

P.murinus, Asian arboreals you say? Buy a Goddess 0.1 Pelinobius muticus PBUH (Peace Be Upon Her) and your life will change.

Praise the Goddess!
 

Jerry

Arachnobaron
Joined
Jan 1, 2016
Messages
591
I have to say that my wife is wonderful aswell and money is the only hindrance that I have as of right now but we'll see what it's like when I have 10 or 20 more :)
 

sasker

Arachnoangel
Joined
Oct 9, 2016
Messages
794
Patience is the key, man. If your wife has a irrational fear of Singapore Blues but she is okay with OBTs, then you just need to show her some videos of people having Singapore Blues and actually know what they are doing.

Perhaps like this one :troll:


It is great that your wife supports you and that she can enjoy your hobby with you. My wife was at first not super enthusiastic about my spiders. I remember her running out of the room when my first spider made a sudden movement during the unboxing process :) However, she starts to appreciate them more and more. There are many species that I like to buy but my wife is afraid that I will end up having 100+ tarantulas (that is definitely a risk) and she would not be okay with that. It is going to be a slow process to expand my hobby, but I am okay with that. At least we now enjoy my hobby together.
 

Chris LXXIX

ArachnoGod
Active Member
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
5,689
Why I continue to imagine in my mind all the Deadly Tarantula Girl thumbnails video combined with Britney Spears 'Toxic'? o_O

Such a perverted level I reached :-/
 

Hellblazer

Arachnosquire
Joined
May 13, 2016
Messages
134
I just buy whatever I want and add it to the collection. She usually doesn't even notice and if she does she doesn't really care. There are a lot of worse habits I could have.
 

creepa

Arachnoknight
Joined
Sep 24, 2010
Messages
261
How many pairs of shoes, shirts, skirts, tops and what not does your wife have? And how many spiders do you have?

I would just buy the bloody spider...
 

ediblepain

Arachnosquire
Joined
Dec 24, 2016
Messages
100
I don't require my partners permission to buy something, and vice versa. We live together, and he is not chill about creepy crawlies. I keep them in my office. Sometimes I ask if he wants to see a neat burrow or a cool pic I took of them. If he is hesitant, I change the subject.
 

Devin B

Arachnobaron
Joined
Sep 30, 2016
Messages
326
Ok first of all I didnt read anyone elses comments yet because I know what you need to do. All you need to do is make up a different common names because they dont mean much anyway. So instead of asking for a cobalt blue just ask for an "eastern royal blue" or something like that, wink wink nudge nudge. Then you get what you want an your wife is non the wiser. I call this "plan, can not possibly fail", it will work or your money back.
 

Icculus

Arachnosquire
Joined
Oct 19, 2016
Messages
82
This reminds me of one of my favorite bumper stickers that starts with "i got a gun for my wife" but I think we can apply it to t's

I got a t for my wife...best trade I ever made
 

johnny quango

Arachnoknight
Joined
May 17, 2013
Messages
262
After carefully considering all my options I divorced the wife and that made lots of spare room and believe it or not it gave me more money. So in short my bank balance and tarantula collection look fantastic
 

WhyUBiteBite

Arachnosquire
Joined
Feb 14, 2017
Messages
104
While I wont help the issue given that my C Lividum is one of the most defensive species I have in my collection I will say that maybe try a pokey? Let her get used to the idea of an OW in the house and keep the caging secure given if it escapes I doubt she would let you get more OWs lol. Ive been fortunate in that my wife seems just as enamoured with them as I am.
 

Leila

Arachnobaron
Arachnosupporter +
Joined
Feb 7, 2017
Messages
525
I am still sitting here wondering what a singapore blue is....

"Sir Google, please assist me"
 
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