What do you do when your family doesnt like your hobby? Stories? Resolucions?

[NEMESIS_112]

I just started my collection of T's like a month and a half ago. The thing is my family just started to oppose my hobby I am so interested in. My mother is cool with it, she doesnt mind, the same with my father. But my Sister in law and my brother just dont like the idea. The story is, i wanted to get a puppy about 4 months ago, and i had asked my brother if could keep the dog, since it is my brothers house. he said NO! I was a lil upset. he said no because i would eventually lose interest in the dog and he doesnt want his back yard messed up. Anyways I went to this spiderparty with a friend and just by being there that night it caught my interest, and i left the spider party with 6 slings and one adult. I was fascinated. Now everyone is objecting to my hobby when i am most interested. what should i do? Ignore them? Compromise? I argue that T's are very low maintenance. Opinions?
Adrian
Nemesis_112

 

[Code Monkey]

It's pretty simple: it comes down to who's paying the bills where you live. If it's your parents and they're fine with your spiders, who cares what your brother & his wife think (so long as your folks back you up that is ). Unless you're making them give up space so you can buy more bugs, if they're "freeloading" off your folks as well, it's not their place to make a squeak in my book.

OTOH, if your brother and his wife are paying for their living quarters and you're not, then you'd best be working on a compromise.

EDIT: Just reread your post and saw that it's your brother's house. His house, his rules, period, end of discussion. I'd try for the compromise or you may find yourself without any spiders.

 

[Lopez]

When I was 11 or so, I wanted a tarantula more than anything in the world. What I really wanted was a "Mombasa Golden Starburst" - a spider that would rear on it's back and spaz out
After much badgering (over a year, after which I gave up) my highly arachnophobic mother bought my a Grammostola rosea spiderling for my 13th birthday.
She said she was fine with it as long as I promised never to let it escape. It did, once, but I found it before anybody knew she was missing

After being in Uni for a couple of years, and still living at home (house prices in the UK are a bit daft lately ) I decided to properly get back into T's, and asked if I could have a few more. I was told this was fine, as long as I looked after them. So I ordered a couple of P murinus (one gold, one orange) and the collection rapidly built to the point where I'll have about 20 by next week.
I knew she wouldn't accept the rapid growth of my collection for long, so I employed a cunning tactic
When the actual collection got to about 10 (more like 20 tanks, explanation in a minute), I was told "I think that's quite enough" - which is where my plan comes into action. I stacked countless "dummy" containers around my collection, filling each one with peat and bark. These "dummy" containers ensure my collection always looks a lot bigger than it is to the casual observer. This way I can keep buying T's until I do actually move out (a couple of months, fingers crossed)

 

[Buspirone]

If its your brother and sis-in-laws house then you have to abide by their rules. If you don't like it then get a job and get your own place.

 

[chuck]

i find that the people who dont like it are those who are most interested. i have family and friends always asking to see them, sure they gag for a moment but then they begin with all the Qs. try feeding the adult infront of your brother, maybe watching it kill and eat will interest him...if hes a guy im sure he'll think its cool.

 

[sunnymarcie]

You need to work on your brother


I like Chuck's idea, feed one of the adults in front of him and see
how he reacts.

Is there a REAL REASON why they are telling you no?
Are there kids in the house? Or is it just someones fear of
your T's?
If any of these is the case, knowledge is POWER!
Get them interested, MAKE them ask questions.
Who knows, maybe you can talk him into getting one for himself.

Good luck

 

[L_mactans]

In their home, you have to pretty much go by their rules. You might try to talk compromise, maybe cutting collection to one or two small ones that they won't be intimidated by... Pay one or two of their bills so that you have some say in the home...
The family can be a pain... even when you move out. I live on my own and I STILL hear it from friends and family ALL THE TIME.

Kelly (L_mac)

 

[Charlie]

cool

Well to repeat what has allready been said if it's your brothers house it's your brothers rules man. Plain and simple.

To get him interested I think you should just try talking to him about them. Maybe see if you can get him to hold one or something.

Then again you probably should of talked to your brother before bringing them home.

-Charlie

 

[JBoyer]

If you dan't pay anything to live there currently I think it's a great idea to take over a couple of bills and then you will have some say in what happens. OTOH Keep your spider activities to yourself, in your own space and they will be none the wiser.
Jennifer

 

[NEMESIS_112]

Now that i do have the T's, they decided that i could keep a dog instead, but i am no longer interested in the dog i am more fascinated with the T's. It is my brothers house and i do pay %55 of the bills including the mortgage. I think the biggest deal is that they just had a baby and their biggest fear is a T getting out and being close the the baby girl. I totally understad that. But what i hate the most is them judging my T's, saying that they are soo evil, dangerous, deadly, and all this bad stuff. they give T's a bad image. I think they are afraid of what they dont know. I dont keep pokies because i am a biginner and i dont think i will every keep one. i dont want to do what BUSPIRONE says because i am good where i am at. Why am i going to leave the house where i pay little, and get my own place where i will be in charge of all the responsabilities. And I already do have a job, and am very addicted to t's now. Not that i want a remedy for this addiction. Thanx for the comments guys.
Nemesis_112

 

[chuck]

if you pay most of the bills and the mortgage, isnt it your house then? :?

 

[Buspirone]

Originally posted by chuck
if you pay most of the bills and the mortgage, isnt it your house then? :?

Not legally if his name isn't on any of the paperwork.

 

[NEMESIS_112]

Originally posted by chuck
if you pay most of the bills and the mortgage, isnt it your house then? :?

Pay most of the bills because a slight increase of unemployment on my brothers part.

 

[sunnymarcie]

But what i hate the most is them judging my T's, saying that they are soo evil, dangerous, deadly, and all this bad stuff. they give T's a bad image. I think they are afraid of what they dont know

Your words there, not mine.

It sounds like its time for some T education plans.

 

[MizM]

Have you tried just talking to them?

Ask them WHAT they don't like about Ts. Answer their questions. Remember, what MOST people know about Ts, they saw in "Arachnophobia" and the like. Educate them, SHARE with them, let them look and hopefully you can talk them into touching!

Explain that Ts don't "gang up" and attack people, they don't approach people, they are solitary and shy, and if one gets loose, it will hide out of fear and NEVER EVER chase one of them down and jump on them and bite them.

Let them know that a T will do 4 or 5 different things TO LET YOU KNOW BEFORE IT BITES if cornered, and if it does decide to bite, would possibly deliver a dry bite. Tell them that New World T venom is mild, and Old World T venom only produces severe flu-like symptoms. Tell tham that no one has ever died from a T bite.

If all that doesn't work, tell them that the dog will poop on the floor, the Ts don't. The dog will bark, the Ts don't. The dog will chew everything in the house, the Ts don't. The dog will eat a lot of expensive food, the Ts don't. The dog needs expensive veterinary care, the Ts don't.

Keep your cool, don't get angry and just discuss it.

If you need a T lawyer, give me a call. 1-800-CON-VINCE!!!!!

BEST OF LUCK!!!!

 

[chuck]

and if they say "no" after all this, take a fresh molt, shape it into a normal or threatening position, allow it to harden and then place the skin in their bed.... id say baby's crib but then id get a rep for being heartless ;P

 

[MizM]

Hey, great idea, they'll let you keep them after that FER SHUR!!! Nothing like scaring the bolus out of people to talk them into things!!

 

[chuck]

if theres no winning, go out fighting....thats what i meant, REVENGE!!!!! ;P

 

[Vampire]

family

My family thinks I'm crazy for having Ts, I really think it's just an irrational fear....I like the idea of educating your brother. See if you can show him how cool they are.....is it even open for discussion?

 

[MrT]

You want, I should have MrT pay him a midnight visit?
You know what I'm saying?
I could help him to, you know, understand.


Ernie