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- Aug 8, 2005
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(Repost?)
The (sort of) ultimate list of everything there is to know about spiders, with comments.
(With thanks to Rod C. for his list of spider fables)
* Spiders are insects.
As are some homosapiens
* "Arachnid" is just a fancy name for spider.
Correct, but wrong.
* You can always tell a spider because it has eight legs.
How am I ever going to break this news to my 5 legged Lyco?
* All spiders make webs.
Except those that don't.
* The orb web (round or "geometric" web) is a "normal" spider web.
For an orb weaver.
* A "daddy-longlegs" is a kind of spider.
And whales are fish.
* Most spiders could not bite humans because their fangs are too small.
On the other hand, all humans are capable of biting spiders.
* Any spider species can be found anywhere.
True! However, you may have to supply the specimen to the locale.
* All spiders are male.
And propagate through budding and spores.
* Spiders are most numerous in late summer.
Unless they are scarce at that time.
* Spiders "suck the juices" of their prey, and do not literally eat it.
Well... they do! Sort of. A spider eating it's prey was once described to me as 'Imagine eating a huge peach which you have attached to your face until it shrivels to just the skin".
Myths about Identifying Spiders
* Spiders are easy to identify.
When comparing them to buffalos, aardvarks, wombats, and some species of skinks.
* Spider species are distinguished and identified by "markings."
As example, the ones with decals denoting various lubricant manufacturers are very fast, etc.
* The size of spiders should be described in terms of coins.
Drachma, I believe. Avoid spiders sized by English small change as they can be very confusing.
* A photo that "looks just like" your spider identifies it.
As a photo very similar to your spider.
* Physicians, exterminators, and entomologists can identify spiders.
As being, roughly, (sometimes) in the Aranae family
* Spider specimens can be mailed with a letter in a common envelope.
But no garauntee of what will eventually by found in the envelope by the recipient.
* The spider you found has to be a species you've already heard of.
If you live on a spider free planet.
* "Since I can't tell what this spider is, it must be new and probably dangerous."
Makes as much sense as saying 'if it has 4 wheels it must be a Ford and good for plowing fields'.
* One specimen is enough of a sample to tell what spiders live in a house.
..is enough to tell that that particular spider lives in your house. (If you practice catch and release).
House Spider Myths
* Spiders come into houses in the fall to get out of the cold.
You will often find them in corners knitting socks and sweaters.
* House spiders should be put "back outside."
Or left alone and just move the people outside.
* Spiders in bathtubs or sinks came up through the drains from sewers.
I endorse this theory!! Ever since I saw a monster lycosa push the drain grate up and chase a pet toad around the bathroom. (Our wolfies around here are an agressive lot!)
* "Those large, hairy spiders I find in my house are wolf spiders."
Unless they belong to some other tribe.
* Spiders in the home are a danger to children and pets.
That's backwards. I only wish it was true.
Just Plain Weird Stories
* The daddy-longlegs has the world's worst venom, but it can't bite you.
True! (Hey, come on, folks! We need more brilliance like this in the world.)
* Near East "camel spiders" anaesthetize sleeping humans and eat their flesh.
Someone has been training and mutating the Solufugids when I wasn't looking, right?
* "Camel spiders" in Iraq are a foot long, lay eggs under camels' skin, & run 25 miles/hour screaming like a banshee.
I once saw a spider disinclined human type female run 25 MPH and scream like a banshee when one of our Lyco's ran up her leg. Maybe they got the species mixed up?
* A potted cactus in someone's home exploded and scattered baby tarantulas!
Where can I buy some of those?
* A deadly, exotic spider lurks under airport and airplane toilet seats.
Okay, I draw the line and like all self respecting spiders am not going there.
* A gigantic, rare, endangered and (of course) deadly spider lives in tunnels under Windsor Castle.
Figures. All the really cool spiders are somewhere where you can't go check them out.
* You swallow an average of four live spiders in your sleep each year.
If you A, sleep walk with your mouth wide open in B, a location absolutely infested with (probably) the dumbest therididae on the planet.
* Spiders drink moisture from the mouths or lips of sleeping humans.
Let me get this straight. One of the cleanest most fastidious creatures in the world eats in the filthiest hamburger joint known to man?
* When black widow spiders mate, the female always kills and eats the male.
Another absolute for the world of modern science.
* Spider eggs may turn up in human hairstyles or in bubble gum.
What was that modern saying about monkeys flying out of my b...?
* Baby spiders can hatch out of spider bite wounds.
I am definitely keeping the wrong species of spiders. Where can I order some of these?
* Certain fruits or nuts can be used to repel spiders.
Did anyone else envision sitting in the middle of your living room, throwing food at wandering arachs?
* Jumping tarantulas, ten-legged spiders, poisonous spider urine, and more!
My tarantula was really good at flying. Well, plummeting.
Myths about "Dangerous" Spiders
* "A spider bit me while I was asleep." (No, I didn't see it, but...)
Spiders leave tire tracks similar to when you get ran over by a car.
* "How could insects be biting me? I see only spiders in the house!"
This is the same person that eats spiders in his/her sleep, right?
* You can always tell a spider bite because a spider leaves 2 punctures.
Right. Ignore the crotalidae hanging from your arm by it's fangs.
* Some spiders are poisonous and others are not.
I haven't eaten enough spiders to comment on this.
* Tarantulas are dangerous or deadly to humans.
On the same line, you would have to eat an awful lot of them.
* Some spiders are deadly.
I draw the descriptive line here at darned obnoxious. As in, ever try typing when a half dozen salticidae are insisting on patrolling your keyboard> 'Excuse me, can I get at that E, please?'
* But there are really deadly spiders in Australia and Brazil.
Yuppers. The rest are harmless.
* "The dreaded Brown Recluse spider has bitten people in my area!"
Good! Now move!
* You can identify "brown recluse" spiders by a violin shape.
Exactly. You are surrounded by them! You need to move! Try the south pole.
* You'll know a "hobo spider" by chevrons, "boxing gloves," or funnel webs.
Or the label 'Relocated European House Spider' printed on each side.
* Hobo spiders are aggressive.
Unless docile.
* Doctors can always tell what spider bit you from the bite alone.
This is an excellent way of identifying the quality of your doctor.
* Spiders carry germs on their fangs that can cause infection.
If you are buying this, you need to move with the guy who is surrounded by Loxo's.
* People have lost arms and legs because of spider bites.
But most people call those spiders /sharks/.
* Spider "infestations" should be controlled with pesticides.
Yes. Extensive use of pesticides several times a day may eventually cause you to quit worrying about your harmless guests.
The (sort of) ultimate list of everything there is to know about spiders, with comments.
(With thanks to Rod C. for his list of spider fables)
* Spiders are insects.
As are some homosapiens
* "Arachnid" is just a fancy name for spider.
Correct, but wrong.
* You can always tell a spider because it has eight legs.
How am I ever going to break this news to my 5 legged Lyco?
* All spiders make webs.
Except those that don't.
* The orb web (round or "geometric" web) is a "normal" spider web.
For an orb weaver.
* A "daddy-longlegs" is a kind of spider.
And whales are fish.
* Most spiders could not bite humans because their fangs are too small.
On the other hand, all humans are capable of biting spiders.
* Any spider species can be found anywhere.
True! However, you may have to supply the specimen to the locale.
* All spiders are male.
And propagate through budding and spores.
* Spiders are most numerous in late summer.
Unless they are scarce at that time.
* Spiders "suck the juices" of their prey, and do not literally eat it.
Well... they do! Sort of. A spider eating it's prey was once described to me as 'Imagine eating a huge peach which you have attached to your face until it shrivels to just the skin".
Myths about Identifying Spiders
* Spiders are easy to identify.
When comparing them to buffalos, aardvarks, wombats, and some species of skinks.
* Spider species are distinguished and identified by "markings."
As example, the ones with decals denoting various lubricant manufacturers are very fast, etc.
* The size of spiders should be described in terms of coins.
Drachma, I believe. Avoid spiders sized by English small change as they can be very confusing.
* A photo that "looks just like" your spider identifies it.
As a photo very similar to your spider.
* Physicians, exterminators, and entomologists can identify spiders.
As being, roughly, (sometimes) in the Aranae family
* Spider specimens can be mailed with a letter in a common envelope.
But no garauntee of what will eventually by found in the envelope by the recipient.
* The spider you found has to be a species you've already heard of.
If you live on a spider free planet.
* "Since I can't tell what this spider is, it must be new and probably dangerous."
Makes as much sense as saying 'if it has 4 wheels it must be a Ford and good for plowing fields'.
* One specimen is enough of a sample to tell what spiders live in a house.
..is enough to tell that that particular spider lives in your house. (If you practice catch and release).
House Spider Myths
* Spiders come into houses in the fall to get out of the cold.
You will often find them in corners knitting socks and sweaters.
* House spiders should be put "back outside."
Or left alone and just move the people outside.
* Spiders in bathtubs or sinks came up through the drains from sewers.
I endorse this theory!! Ever since I saw a monster lycosa push the drain grate up and chase a pet toad around the bathroom. (Our wolfies around here are an agressive lot!)
* "Those large, hairy spiders I find in my house are wolf spiders."
Unless they belong to some other tribe.
* Spiders in the home are a danger to children and pets.
That's backwards. I only wish it was true.
Just Plain Weird Stories
* The daddy-longlegs has the world's worst venom, but it can't bite you.
True! (Hey, come on, folks! We need more brilliance like this in the world.)
* Near East "camel spiders" anaesthetize sleeping humans and eat their flesh.
Someone has been training and mutating the Solufugids when I wasn't looking, right?
* "Camel spiders" in Iraq are a foot long, lay eggs under camels' skin, & run 25 miles/hour screaming like a banshee.
I once saw a spider disinclined human type female run 25 MPH and scream like a banshee when one of our Lyco's ran up her leg. Maybe they got the species mixed up?
* A potted cactus in someone's home exploded and scattered baby tarantulas!
Where can I buy some of those?
* A deadly, exotic spider lurks under airport and airplane toilet seats.
Okay, I draw the line and like all self respecting spiders am not going there.
* A gigantic, rare, endangered and (of course) deadly spider lives in tunnels under Windsor Castle.
Figures. All the really cool spiders are somewhere where you can't go check them out.
* You swallow an average of four live spiders in your sleep each year.
If you A, sleep walk with your mouth wide open in B, a location absolutely infested with (probably) the dumbest therididae on the planet.
* Spiders drink moisture from the mouths or lips of sleeping humans.
Let me get this straight. One of the cleanest most fastidious creatures in the world eats in the filthiest hamburger joint known to man?
* When black widow spiders mate, the female always kills and eats the male.
Another absolute for the world of modern science.
* Spider eggs may turn up in human hairstyles or in bubble gum.
What was that modern saying about monkeys flying out of my b...?
* Baby spiders can hatch out of spider bite wounds.
I am definitely keeping the wrong species of spiders. Where can I order some of these?
* Certain fruits or nuts can be used to repel spiders.
Did anyone else envision sitting in the middle of your living room, throwing food at wandering arachs?
* Jumping tarantulas, ten-legged spiders, poisonous spider urine, and more!
My tarantula was really good at flying. Well, plummeting.
Myths about "Dangerous" Spiders
* "A spider bit me while I was asleep." (No, I didn't see it, but...)
Spiders leave tire tracks similar to when you get ran over by a car.
* "How could insects be biting me? I see only spiders in the house!"
This is the same person that eats spiders in his/her sleep, right?
* You can always tell a spider bite because a spider leaves 2 punctures.
Right. Ignore the crotalidae hanging from your arm by it's fangs.
* Some spiders are poisonous and others are not.
I haven't eaten enough spiders to comment on this.
* Tarantulas are dangerous or deadly to humans.
On the same line, you would have to eat an awful lot of them.
* Some spiders are deadly.
I draw the descriptive line here at darned obnoxious. As in, ever try typing when a half dozen salticidae are insisting on patrolling your keyboard> 'Excuse me, can I get at that E, please?'
* But there are really deadly spiders in Australia and Brazil.
Yuppers. The rest are harmless.
* "The dreaded Brown Recluse spider has bitten people in my area!"
Good! Now move!
* You can identify "brown recluse" spiders by a violin shape.
Exactly. You are surrounded by them! You need to move! Try the south pole.
* You'll know a "hobo spider" by chevrons, "boxing gloves," or funnel webs.
Or the label 'Relocated European House Spider' printed on each side.
* Hobo spiders are aggressive.
Unless docile.
* Doctors can always tell what spider bit you from the bite alone.
This is an excellent way of identifying the quality of your doctor.
* Spiders carry germs on their fangs that can cause infection.
If you are buying this, you need to move with the guy who is surrounded by Loxo's.
* People have lost arms and legs because of spider bites.
But most people call those spiders /sharks/.
* Spider "infestations" should be controlled with pesticides.
Yes. Extensive use of pesticides several times a day may eventually cause you to quit worrying about your harmless guests.
