Spouse/S.O. Approval

[scott308]

When we got our first T years ago, my wife said her involvement ended when she wrote the check. Now, she'll start working on an online order and run it by me before finalizing anything, to make sure I'm ok with all of them since I do all the care and maintenance. She knows there are species I don't want, but she never remembers which ones, because she keeps trying to order all the pretty blue spiders. Every so often I'll notice a new container on the shelves because she picked something up at the pet store.

For Christmas, she bought me a new scorpion, Smeringurus mesaensis, that I had looked at previously. She has said no to centipedes, although she was interested in one that one of the other pet stores had, so we'll see. We have had assassin bugs and a few true spiders. I am interested in widows and had the ok at the last show we went to, but they didn't have anything I wanted.

 

[Jokesonmeow]

My husband loves the T’s and is interested in them. But he also likes to try to tell me what to do and how to take care of them, even though the information he has is wrong. He really wants an old world but isn’t understanding that I’m not ready yet. I’m way too new to the hobby. I don’t think he cares.
He also wants them all in super fancy set ups, even if they are inappropriate. I’m talking “let’s put the slings in a 5 gallon tank. Can any of these T’s live together?”

Oi. But at least he loves them and supports my interest!

 

[Orionoid]

My fiance does not care one way or the other. His only concern was money, since he didn't know if they took a lot in upkeep, but I settled his fears there and now he's back to not caring because he knows he won't have to interact with them anyway. Wild spiders he still doesn't like, but he is nice about it and calls me over to look at them/take them outside

 

[miamc12321]

My husband loves the T babies. He calls them his spider children. I got pretty lucky with him. He helps with feeding and maintenance, so that's pretty cool.

 

[Anoplogaster]

My gf is indifferent, generally. But she likes watching me feed them. Sometimes she’ll ask me to do it so she can watch. She’s an animal lover, so she feels for all living things. Sometimes I’ll blow into the vent holes of my rufilata enclosure to coax her out (feeding response). My gf is always like “Now give her a roach. I feel bad!”

Honestly, I couldn’t deal with an SO who I felt I needed “approval” from. I’m not single, but I do what I want. Because if you don’t approve of my passions, then you don’t approve of me. Trying to change someone is manipulative, and can even become abusive. I push those people out of my life like food boluses

 

[MetalMan2004]

My wife doesn’t like them but they don’t bother her anymore. Only time I really had a problem with it was when I got a CL deal that came as a package with a 7-8” T stirmi. She hated that thing and let me know about it. So I sold it. She is okay with everything else.

 

[Vinny2915]

My boyfriend hates them but he wouldn't ever say not to because I would still do it.

 

[Minty]

My wife has gone from fearing them to wanting one of her own. She's fed a few of mine and has even taken a random house spider as a pet, feeding it tiny crickets.

 

[Sinned]

Frankly I find that the most difficult thing for SOs to accept is the feeders and not the tarantulas

She used to work in a gardening center, they ended up with roaches there that got shipped to them with goods from far far away. Always ending up hiding in her work-boots or something a like. She *hates* roaches... till she had a box of crickets in the house.

The main selling point was that they smell less and can't climb glass or fly.

That's how I got the "OK" to keep the "red runners". She still hates roaches, but maybe it helps they are here on death-row. She wont even admit they have the ruby red color going for them. Ah well.

As for the T's, its not a 180, but .. she has taken a liking/interest(?) to my Avic (sp purple peru) sling and she is intrigued by the growth rate of the L.P sling.
She admires how Lily (Lilith) our GBB looks and is always busy and webbing up her enclosure. She would of never denied me my interest in T's or keeping one as a pet.

She said only one, but 14 T's later I had to stop myself, as I do need the room and time to take proper care of them.

I got T's for Valentine's day.

( )

 

[volcanopele]

My wife has never reallly had a problem with Ts, other than maybe my lack of impulse control when it comes to them. I am at 51 Ts so I get her concern. She mostly just laughs when I get a new spider. But she also keeps exotics, a ball python and a crested gecko and we share, I don’t know, custody(?) of our bearded dragon. So she is understanding of my desire to care for these fascinating creatures. She had wanted nothing to do with the care of them, which was fine. She really doesn’t like the feeder insects.

However, around Christmas, she bought an Aphonopelma chalcodes to take to her office and just a couple of weeks ago, she bought an Avicularia metallica of her own at an expo. So I think I have corrupted her

 

[Malo]

she bought an Aphonopelma chalcodes to take to her office

That's an accepting work environment? lol

 

[volcanopele]

I was surprised I could bring one to MY office (I am a researcher at a university). But one day our office manager came into my office to check out my LK’s molt, that I have on display on my desk in a plastic case, and she mentioned that if I wanted to bring one in I could. Within days, I bought a G. rosea to keep in mine.

I guess her boss is fine with her having one. He doesn’t really care, but she does need to cover up the enclosure for client meetings since many of them have mental issues.

 

[Sinned]

That's an accepting work environment? lol

I also been asked to set something up at my office (and, at my desk that is), but I have some concerns still about temperatures after closing hours. I will happily do so if I ever work something out.

 

[Quinnk74]

My old lady used to hate them, now she doesn't quite love them like I do but she does talk to them in the same voice she talks to our dog in and every time I show her a species I like she says I should get it. I think she likes them more than she is willing to admit.

 

[Chris LXXIX]

She really is, she just grew up in a poor family in Mexico where hygiene wasn't the same as here, and she had to be careful with any insects or arachnids that came into your house because if you got bitten there was no trip to the doctor, and they didn't want roaches in the house either.

She reminded to me my mother, that's why

She loved to say the same things, ah ah...

Que viva Mexico de Tierra y Libertad.

 

[nburgmei]

I had a tarantula on my headboard when my wife and I started dating. She got used to them pretty quickly, despite not liking spiders very well. Now she doesn't care when I get new ones, but she does like to be warned first so she doesn't catch spidery movement in a place she didn't expect.

 

[NewT GBB]

My fiancé is almost as obsessed as I am. She loves manipulating crickets to the burrow as much as I do. As mentioned above, she more hates touching the crickets than the actual t.

 

[nicodimus22]

I also been asked to set something up at my office (and, at my desk that is), but I have some concerns still about temperatures after closing hours. I will happily do so if I ever work something out.

I could never leave one in an office. Why? Janitors, man. They use all kinds of chemicals all over the place, as they need to. Definitely not safe for Ts.