Smart comebacks to people who hate on your inverts.

[boina]

"Hey, your mother has a fat abdomen and hairy legs, but you don't squash her!"

Hey, you sexist, it's supposed to be:

"Hey, your father has a fat abdomen and hairy legs, but you don't squash him!"

 

[miss moxie]

Hey, you sexist, it's supposed to be:

"Hey, your father has a fat abdomen and hairy legs, but you don't squash him!"

What if their father is a swimmer and shaves his legs to cut down on resistance?!

My god boina it's like you haven't thought this through at all! How could you be so reckless???

 

[PidderPeets]

This seasonal new hire at my work tried to justify his desire to set aflame a spider I was admiring earlier as "severe arachnophobia" that makes him want to kill every spider he sees.

My response was "Well I can almost guarantee you've never been bitten by a spider before, but my dad, who was bitten by a black widow as a child and even sent to the hospital for it has an understandable reason for having arachnophobia. But even he doesn't kill them, so...."

I have no problem with phobias. I have a BIG problem with you wanting to kill something completely innocent because of a phobia.

 

[miss moxie]

This seasonal new hire at my work tried to justify his desire to set aflame a spider I was admiring earlier as "severe arachnophobia" that makes him want to kill every spider he sees.

My response was "Well I can almost guarantee you've never been bitten by a spider before, but my dad, who was bitten by a black widow as a child and even sent to the hospital for it has an understandable reason for having arachnophobia. But even he doesn't kill them, so...."

I have no problem with phobias. I have a BIG problem with you wanting to kill something completely innocent because of a phobia.

And to set it on -fire-? That's not even just ceasing it's existence because you're terrified of it, that's wanting to cause it pain. I was a severe arachnophobic until I was 24 and my response was to scream and get away from them-- not get the zippo fluid. Even when one landed on me or crawled onto me and I noticed it, my first instinct was to sweep it off and get away while goosebumps covered my body.

 

[PidderPeets]

And to set it on -fire-? That's not even just ceasing it's existence because you're terrified of it, that's wanting to cause it pain. I was a severe arachnophobic until I was 24 and my response was to scream and get away from them-- not get the zippo fluid. Even when one landed on me or crawled onto me and I noticed it, my first instinct was to sweep it off and get away while goosebumps covered my body.

EXACTLY. I used to be absolutely terrified of crane flies, cellar spiders, and harvestmen. I know it was an irrational phobia, but it was a phobia nonetheless. But even back when I was at my worst, my reaction was to scream, flail, and run away, possibly crying. Whenever I was desperately avoiding one, my boyfriend used to joke about killing it for me (he never really would have), but again, EVEN AT MY WORST, I would tell him not to because something doesn't deserve to die just because I'm afraid of it.

 

[miss moxie]

EXACTLY. I used to be absolutely terrified of crane flies, cellar spiders, and harvestmen. I know it was an irrational phobia, but it was a phobia nonetheless. But even back when I was at my worst, my reaction was to scream, flail, and run away, possibly crying. Whenever I was desperately avoiding one, my boyfriend used to joke about killing it for me (he never really would have), but again, EVEN AT MY WORST, I would tell him not to because something doesn't deserve to die just because I'm afraid of it.

My phobia was born from my mother's phobia of them (as children we emulate our parents after all) as well as her misinformation that she passed onto me. She thought jumping spiders were the devil! Jumping spiders!! So I thought they were the worst too! Now I know they're actually the most adorable and inquisitve of spiders who deserve to be protected at all costs.

So liberating to get over a phobia that literally short circuits your brain and controls you. Honestly it's empowering now to see a spider and not immediately panic. I even interact with jumping spiders I encounter outside because I love watching them. Much better than fear.

 

[PidderPeets]

My phobia was born from my mother's phobia of them (as children we emulate our parents after all) as well as her misinformation that she passed onto me. She thought jumping spiders were the devil! Jumping spiders!! So I thought they were the worst too! Now I know they're actually the most adorable and inquisitve of spiders who deserve to be protected at all costs.

So liberating to get over a phobia that literally short circuits your brain and controls you. Honestly it's empowering now to see a spider and not immediately panic. I even interact with jumping spiders I encounter outside because I love watching them. Much better than fear.

I couldn't agree more. Phobias can be so crippling, and it's such a horrible feeling to KNOW you shouldn't react the way you do but you can't do anything to prevent it. Luckily, I never inherited my parent's fears (life would be so depressing for me if I was afraid of spiders and snakes), but I did unfortunately develop my own. But I've taken the initiative to conquer them, and I've noticed many people doing the same in recent years. It's particularly nice to hear of former arachnophobics overcoming their fear. I'm really happy for you!

 

[Smokehound714]

My insults always turn into fist-fights so i just avoid the situation altogether by simply walking away..

Im a champion at throwing people into a blind rage irl.

 

[Turiell]

Usually the people I talk to about my tarantulas react well enough, and though the idea of owning a huge spider may freak them out to some degree, they seem fascinated by them, and I guess that's because I talk about the hobby so passionately. I always get a lot of questions and luckily no one outside of my family has ever said anything about killing my babies.

However, my brother-in-law just said last night that my new AF versicolor was nothing but a hairy piece of shit that he needs to step on. He said it so viciously that it broke my heart and I almost cried. The only "come back" I could think of to say was how mean his comment was and that he should be careful because one of her defense mechanisms was shooting a stream of real shit with deadly accuracy if he messed with her. I gave him a hard smile and said, "I guarantee she won't miss."

So yeah, my come back wasn't witty, and my little story was not fun either, and I apologize for that. I just needed to share with people who would understand. And I also joined this topic because I hope to pick up some better come backs from ya'll! I need some good ammo for family get togethers from now on!

 

[darkness975]

Honestly that whole "kill it with fire meme" that floats around the internet like a plague is mostly just another form of trolling that reigns supreme online.

Same as those annoying "Nature, you scary" comments on every nature documentary or video of animals on YT that doesn't involve "cute cuddly cats or dogs" doing whatever. Everything else gets an annoying (and old) meme.

*yawn*

 

[VolkswagenBug]

And to set it on -fire-? That's not even just ceasing it's existence because you're terrified of it, that's wanting to cause it pain. I was a severe arachnophobic until I was 24 and my response was to scream and get away from them-- not get the zippo fluid. Even when one landed on me or crawled onto me and I noticed it, my first instinct was to sweep it off and get away while goosebumps covered my body.

I recall reading a news report about a man who actually burned his house down trying to kill a spider with fire.
Lovely case of karma, imo.

 

[Grace Cannell]

I did have someone say to me that I was incredibly stupid to keep a poisonous (yes "poisonous") animal in my house. The person who had said this to me was not a particularly nice person, incredibly two-faced and manipulative. So my response was I was more likely to come to some sort of medical harm attempting to maintain such a toxic friendship than taking care of a venomous creature.

 

[VolkswagenBug]

I did have someone say to me that I was incredibly stupid to keep a poisonous (yes "poisonous") animal in my house.

Was this at least in reference to a venomous animal like a tarantula and not something like a cockroach? That makes it slightly more excusable, since I would wager that most people don't know the difference between poison and venom.

 

[Grace Cannell]

Was this at least in reference to a venomous animal like a tarantula and not something like a cockroach? That makes it slightly more excusable, since I would wager that most people don't know the difference between poison and venom.

Oh no, it was in reference to my boyfriend haha I joke, yeah it was a tarantula, the getting venomous and poisonous mixed up is a pet peeve of mine and this person was pretty intelligent so I sort of assumed she knew the difference. It did make me laugh that she attacked my intelligence by calling me stupid and followed it up with a scientifically incorrect statement.

 

[Camman1983]

If someone makes a point of squashing an invert in front of you. I think a great comeback would be to say nothing just tackle them to ground, get them in a headlock and force squashed invert up their nose. Maybe not the wittiest comeback but sometimes the simplest solution is best! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

 

[Nightstalker47]

If someone makes a point of squashing an invert in front of you. I think a great comeback would be to say nothing just tackle them to ground, get them in a headlock and force squashed invert up their nose. Maybe not the wittiest comeback but sometimes the simplest solution is best! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

Been there done that (except the up the nose part)...usually I save the spider in time. I almost got fired this week for shoving my workmate after he tried killing a large female orb weaver, worst part is that I spotted it and pointed it out. I wasn't expecting him to immediately try and squish it so I acted impulsively.

Well I learnt my lesson. I'll keep it to myself next time. Not the smartest move but I spoke with my boss and we were able to come to an understanding. I can't be pushing anyone anymore though, not for the sake of spiders. The look on my boss's face was priceless lmao.

 

[Camman1983]

Yeah I got suspended in 2nd grade for beating the crap out of some kid who was throwing frogs at a brick wall. (At least he got suspended as well) I have zero tolerance for people intentionally being cruel to animals.

 

[ShyDragoness]

I have luckily avoided most issues apart from afew morons that I walked away from- although as a child I got into a fight with another kid when they crushed my favourite snail and her eggs at nursery, my mum likes to remind me how I almost got banned

 

[Turiell]

I have luckily avoided most issues apart from afew morons that I walked away from- although as a child I got into a fight with another kid when they crushed my favourite snail and her eggs at nursery, my mum likes to remind me how I almost got banned

They crushed your snail?? That's terrible!! I love snails, they're so cute! I remember when I was a kid we were at my aunt's house and there was a ton of snails in the backyard. I loved them, but my cousin kept getting salt from the kitchen and pouring it on them. I begged him to stop but he was a cruel brat and kept doing it. Needless to say I finally shoved him and he fell and then went crying to the adults and I got in trouble. But on the bright side we both had to come in the house and weren't allowed outside anymore so the snails were safe