Looking for conquerors of arachnophobia

[Arachnanoob95]

Hi, arachnophobe right here.
I am looking for advice and experiences from people that used to have intermediate to severe arachnophobia but managed to somehow overcome it.
I'd say my arachnophobia is intermediate. I hate the big black ones that teleport in and out of the house, though I leave them be as long as they don't appear in or near my bedroom. I don't mind sharing my house but I sure af am not sharing my room.
I used to be a lot more afraid of spiders. But as I grew up, I found them more and more fascinating. They are after all incredibly useful little creatures too, and inexplicably hated by most of the world's population.
Maybe it's because rationally I know they aren't scary or dangerous (usually) and are useful, but then once I see one (especially the big ones) my rationality tends to fly right out the window.
My cousin used to own a tarantula and it used to fascinate me as a kid. About 15 years later, and youtube (I blame Exotics Lair completely) I currently own 4 slings. 1 albo, 1 versi, 2 h chilensis. All still really small. I'm not afraid, not really. My versi has given me a few near heart attacks, that little <edit>. gave me a nightmare of a rehouse. And I still flinch when I try to tong feed. My albo is still skittish but it is always down its burrow, so no fear there. And the chilensis slings are literally too tiny to be afraid of.
I am going to an expo next week, and there will be T's there. I have been thinking about getting some, though it really depends on what is available I guess.
So I was just wondering if there are people here that had arachnophobia once but managed to overcome it. Any tips, tricks are welcome. I'd love to hear some of your experiences. Whether you did certain things to overcome it or if it was just a gradual natural process due to owning T's.

 

[Brachyfan]

I had fairly bad arachnophobia when i was young. It wasn't full blown meltdown but definitely not good.

One of my teachers aides (grade 4) found out about this and tried to help me with it. Turns out that they had a large juvie brachypelma smithi (mexican red knee) tarantula in the teachers lounge. He suggested that i go and hang out and observe it during lunchtime. I went in there and looked in the enclosure and was terrified lol! Ate my lunch and watched it for some time.

The next day I went back and watched it again. This time with a little less fear. By the end of the first week I was pretty calm around it and asked if it could come out of the cage. The teacher said no. They are too fragile to handle and being so young i guess he didn't trust me. He informed me that even a small fall could kill it. He also informed me that the venom is about as bad as a bee sting. That pretty much ended my fear of tarantulas. In the end they had to kick me out of the lounge after a couple of weeks! I wanted to watch it every lunch break.

I still didn't like true spiders for some time after that. I still dislike some spiders today (black widows come to mind). I did get comfortable with having some spiders and even had a jumping spider living on my ceiling for a couple of years. I always keep some spiders alive in my house to deal with random insects.

Now i keep tarantulas out of respect for that one in the teachers lounge!

 

[ThatsUnpossible]

I’ve had a really bad phobia my whole life, I definitely couldn’t share my house with even a small to medium spider - the big fast leggy males that run across the carpet in autumn would have me screaming in terror. and running away. I would have to get someone to kill them for me.

I couldn’t even look at a picture or see one on TV without feeling frightened and panicked. There were a couple of incidents earlier this year that made me desperate to do something about it.

In June I went to a Fight Your Phobia workshop at Edinburgh Zoo. The goal is to be able to catch a house spider in a cup and put it outside. It worked really well, much to my surprise. Still not a fan of big house spiders, but no longer a snivelling wreck at the mere sight of one.

I’ve always thought Tarantulas are less scary than house spiders. I’ve spent a few months lurking here and I’m finally ready for the real thing. I’ve got two spiders coming next Wednesday. I’m hoping that looking after them will remove all or most of the fear I have left.

Sorry, didn’t mean to write an essay!

 

[Brachyfan]

I’ve had a really bad phobia my whole life, I definitely couldn’t share my house with even a small to medium spider - the big fast leggy males that run across the carpet in autumn would have me screaming in terror. and running away. I would have to get someone to kill them for me.

I couldn’t even look at a picture or see one on TV without feeling frightened and panicked. There were a couple of incidents earlier this year that made me desperate to do something about it.

In June I went to a Fight Your Phobia workshop at Edinburgh Zoo. The goal is to be able to catch a house spider in a cup and put it outside. It worked really well, much to my surprise. Still not a fan of big house spiders, but no longer a snivelling wreck at the mere sight of one.

I’ve always thought Tarantulas are less scary than house spiders. I’ve spent a few months lurking here and I’m finally ready for the real thing. I’ve got two spiders coming next Wednesday. I’m hoping that looking after them will remove all or most of the fear I have left.

Sorry, didn’t mean to write an essay!

What species are you getting?

 

[ThatsUnpossible]

B. hamorii sling (described as grown-on sling, so hopefully not microscopic).

B. albopilosum juvenile female

Originally I only wanted the B hamorii ‘cos they’re so pretty. Then I thought a curly hair might be more helpful for my purpose ‘cos it’s docile (fingers crossed) and not pretty. But I couldn’t decide which one to get, so got both.

 

[Brachyfan]

B. hamorii sling (described as grown-on sling, so hopefully not microscopic).

B. albopilosum juvenile female

Originally I only wanted the B hamorii ‘cos they’re so pretty. Then I thought a curly hair might be more helpful for my purpose ‘cos it’s docile (fingers crossed) and not pretty. But I couldn’t decide which one to get, so got both.

Awesome! I have a tiny hamorii sling (1/4" dls) and an albopilosum that i got at 1/2" that is now probably an inch. Love these little ones but that hamorii is really skittish and kinda scared of everything! It likes to try and bolt. My albo digs like mad and calmly goes into it's burrow when disturbed.

Good luck with the T's!!!

 

[lostbrane]

@Arachnanoob95 You’ll want to edit your post for language. Just fyi.

 

[Dandrobates]

Try imagining every spider you see wearing a top hat. It makes anything seem less threatening.

 

[viper69]

My versi has given me a few near heart attacks, that little gave me a nightmare of a rehouse. And I still flinch when I try to thong feed.

2 suggestions- given what you wrote above about your psychological state and getting a heart attack or so from a versi. I recommend you wait before you get more. If you can't deal w/them when small, imagine when they are 5" or more.

Also, stop tong feeding your Ts, it's a great way to end up with a dead T. Where did you learn that?

 

[SonsofArachne]

Also, stop tong feeding your Ts, it's a great way to end up with a dead T. Where did you learn that?

Youtube - the op mentioned Exotics Lair, he feeds in his videos using bamboo tongs.

 

[viper69]

Youtube - the op mentioned Exotics Lair, he feeds in his videos using bamboo tongs.

That StupidTube person prob learned from another StupidTube user.

Youtube - the op mentioned Exotics Lair, he feeds in his videos using bamboo tongs.

StupidTube is like an STD, the gift that keeps on giving hahah

 

[KikiKraken]

NOT A PERSONAL STORY!!!

I would have tried to get my friend on this forum to share his story but sadly he passed away back in June so I wanted to share it for him because he shared it a lot while teaching an Animal Handling class.

He was somewhere between intermediate to severely arachnophobic when he first started to work on it. He grew up being a big fan of most Herps so when he started gravitating toward making a career out of helping people learn about snakes in particular he decided that if he wanted to try and help people with their Ophidiophobia (fear of snakes) then he should do something to get over his Arachnophobia.

He started with some of our smaller cuter native species. When he saw a small jumping spider he would try and spend more and more time studying them before slowly approaching the idea of letting the spider crawl on his hand. After feeling comfortable enough to handle native jumpers he slowly worked his way up in size to some of our larger native wolf spiders.

He kinda jumped from the Burrowing wolf spiders (Geolycosa sp.) to a friends Chilean Rose Hair (Grammostola rosea) and kinda fell in love with the big girls.

TLDR: A friend used non-professional exposure therapy slowly working from jumping spiders to tarantulas.

 

[chanda]

My mom raised all of us to be terrified of black widows - which I suppose was sort of understandable, given that she was raising three small children - and we had widows all over the place in our yard, garden, shed, etc. (Tucson, AZ) She was scared of them herself, and would literally drench them in bug spray any time she found one. So I grew up terrified of spiders in general, and widows in particular (though tarantulas weren't as bad - because they were big and furry and moved more slowly and deliberately, at least when I saw them - more like a "proper" animal - rather than fast and sneaky like other spiders.) When I started getting interested in bugs in general, maybe 12 years ago or so, I also started to get interested in spiders - and I decided it was time to get over my silly phobia by keeping a black widow as a pet. (Kind of like how I became a blood donor to overcome a nearly life-long fear of needles.)

Anyway, I caught a mature female black widow and put her in a clear 2-liter soda bottle with twigs to climb on and web. At first I was afraid even to open the bottle to drop in crickets - but the more I watched her and learned about her, the more fear turned to fascination. The real turning point was when I was lucky enough to catch her in the act of molting. It was almost balletic, watching her gradually work her legs free of the old exoskeleton, and I started appreciating her for what a beautiful creature she was. I loved watching her web and even make egg sacs, and of course watching her feed was fascinating. It was especially interesting for me when I discovered that she could learn and respond to my actions. At first she was timid and would retreat from the opening of the bottle any time I'd touch the lid - but over time, she learned to associate me opening the lid with food, and instead of retreating to the bottom of the bottle, she'd rush the lid and wait just inside the mouth of the bottle - which made opening it a bit trickier.

I used to be "kill on sight" with widows - but now my kids and pets and I peacefully coexist with the dozens (at least!) of widows living in the hose reel, sprinkler valve covers, empty flower pots, chinks in the stucco, garden shed, and garage. I see them from time to time - but no longer feel the need to do anything about them. I also have an entire room full of pet spiders (and scorpion, centipedes, millipedes, whip spiders, beetles, and other bugs) and I find it very relaxing to just sit up there and watch them going about their business.

 

[aarachnid]

I don’t know if I have full blown arachnophobia, but I started reading about and watching videos about spiders and tarantulas because I would freeze up any time I saw a spider, and I logically knew it wasn’t rational. I couldn’t cup and release, and I was too afraid to step on them. Learning more about them really helped, and even though I’m not completely unafraid of them now, I’m more fascinated than scared. At some point in researching, a switch flipped in my head making them cute (their eyes look wet and puppy-like IMO), so that helped a lot, I think.

 

[DanJ]

I had the worst arachnophobia 6 months ago, I would read up about inverts etc but never thought of owning one. I'm the one that people would pick up spiders to scare me and I'd scream.

Now my 4 year old daughter watches strange things on YouTube and for some reason one of Exotic Lairs watering videos came on. And that's where it started, me and my daughter would hours on end watch Exotics Lair, then we went on to The Dark Den, Tom Moran, Mark's Tarantulas etc. This is when I started reading up about all the different species and care online which was really contradicting and ended up finding Arachnoboards, this is when I found out most things I had been reading online was incorrect.

I actually decided to originally get a Brachypelma hamorii because of the easy care requirements and their speed and venom, but I wanted more than one and ended up ordering a mystery box as I wasnt sure what else I wanted, works out about half the price buying them individually and didnt really mind getting an OW either. I now have spare enclosures because of impulse purchases.

I dont think I'm completely over my fear but I can now pick up normal house spiders etc and take them outside, while my daughter does exactly the same and thankfully hasn't inherited my fear of spiders. We go out on walks and see what bugs we can find, take pictures a d try and find out what species they are. My 4 year old is fascinated. This is definetly my only hobby now, I only keep three at the moment and I'm sure my collection will grow as the years and months go by. This hobby has snowballed into me keeping pets again, we will be getting a Leopard Gecko for my daughters birthday and I'm sure a couple more Ts wont hurt

I never thought i would be this much interested in T's because of my previous experience with spiders - and I think alot of my fear was quashed by Arachnoboards. So I'll stop babbling on and thank you.

 

[Arachnanoob95]

I had the worst arachnophobia 6 months ago, I would read up about inverts etc but never thought of owning one. I'm the one that people would pick up spiders to scare me and I'd scream.

Now my 4 year old daughter watches strange things on YouTube and for some reason one of Exotic Lairs watering videos came on. And that's where it started, me and my daughter would hours on end watch Exotics Lair, then we went on to The Dark Den, Tom Moran, Mark's Tarantulas etc. This is when I started reading up about all the different species and care online which was really contradicting and ended up finding Arachnoboards, this is when I found out most things I had been reading online was incorrect.

I actually decided to originally get a Brachypelma hamorii because of the easy care requirements and their speed and venom, but I wanted more than one and ended up ordering a mystery box as I wasnt sure what else I wanted, works out about half the price buying them individually and didnt really mind getting an OW either. I now have spare enclosures because of impulse purchases.

I dont think I'm completely over my fear but I can now pick up normal house spiders etc and take them outside, while my daughter does exactly the same and thankfully hasn't inherited my fear of spiders. We go out on walks and see what bugs we can find, take pictures a d try and find out what species they are. My 4 year old is fascinated. This is definetly my only hobby now, I only keep three at the moment and I'm sure my collection will grow as the years and months go by. This hobby has snowballed into me keeping pets again, we will be getting a Leopard Gecko for my daughters birthday and I'm sure a couple more Ts wont hurt

I never thought i would be this much interested in T's because of my previous experience with spiders - and I think alot of my fear was quashed by Arachnoboards. So I'll stop babbling on and thank you.

I totally get it! That's how it started with me. Exotics Lair was suddenly in my recommended, also one of his watering my T vids I believe, and next thing I know I am binging tarantula videos. Now I own them haha.

 

[ThatsUnpossible]

@Brachyfan Thanks! and good luck to you too.

I’ve really enjoyed this thread. For people who’ve never had a phobia it might seem like hysterical nonsense, but the fight/flight response, panic, sweating and terror that come over you in a split second is real. Totally irrational of course, but still real. It’s been life-changing for me, to get free of this constant fear and anxiety.

This forum is great. Everything you need to know is here and people are giving up their valuable time to share their knowledge and advice for free. As a noob you might sometimes encounter a post that leaves you with your ego falling round your ankles, but don’t take it to heart. And don’t swear - it’s in the terms you agree to when you sign up.

 

[Dman]

I also grew up with pretty bad arachnophobia although mine was mostly with true spiders. As a kid we grew up outside of Portland Oregon and had a beautiful garden. In the garden a very large Orb weaver set up by the tomatoes and like a kid will do I started messing with it. I poked it with my index finger and it wrapped it's legs around my finger and it hung on. I flipped out! It did not bite but it was enough.

My fear has followed me a long time. Lucky for me I love animals. I have been into fish, ferrets, beardies, dogs etc...So with T's it started with being fascinated by their very nature. So I made the leap and got my first T. It was a juvenile A. Seemanni female. I still have her to this day. She is the only T I have ever named (Dr. Web)

So since I still have a decent case of Arachnophobia I have over come this by being very surgically precise in everything I do when it come to my interactions with my T's. I never handle them beyond the occasional sling moving across my hand as a bridge during a rehousing. Even then that is rare and I am not keen on it. I actually have never handled a T beyond a sling. I just can't do it. I have had a range from the calmest (A. avicularia) to some of the worst (H. maculata) and anything in between. I also know my limits and this is why I have never made the leap to breeding. I feel that this would make me too involved and the potential for situations I cannot control too much of a possibility. Maybe someday, but I have been thinking of reaching out to some of my T friends so I can observe how they work their T's during breeding and maybe that will help me get the confidence I need.

 

[Venum]

I used to hate spiders, but started watching videos on youtube from the Dark Den channel. I find Petko to be a very interesting guy and have learned a lot from him. His love for his spiders has made me love them as well.

 

[DanJ]

I totally get it! That's how it started with me. Exotics Lair was suddenly in my recommended, also one of his watering my T vids I believe, and next thing I know I am binging tarantula videos. Now I own them haha.

It's mad isnt it. So hooked now its unreal. Always reading these boards and researching online and watching videos on what T I should get next - only if I found this hobby years ago! People find it strange but they are still intrigued - and they secretly want to know more.

I'm in the middle of watching Brachypelma Tarantulas Of Mexico on YouTube. Really interesting to see Brachypelmas natural habitat and the history that goes with it is good aswell.

The hobby is cheap aswell if you dont go to crazy which is always a bonus.