- Joined
- Aug 8, 2005
- Messages
- 11,498
Fresh from the R U Out Of Yer Freaking Mind department.
Apparently feeling a threat from the Darwin Award contenders in the American Midwest... You know, the folks who use a live .22 cartridge to replace a burned out fuse in your pick-em-up etc.
Well, the folks around these parts were not about to be outflanked and outranked. Of course they already hold the top 3,000 spots hands down but felt insecure. They had the down Sukothai way 60 foot long rocket fizzled so they poked it with a stick crowd, and the 'the heck with a firecracker, let's use a propane gas canister under our hot air balloon' (which rose to 15 feet in the air and parked).
So over Isan way (Isan, the Ozarks of Thailand) they had a really brilliant idea. First you install two parallel nets 6 feet apart across a body of water. Then you just get some form of animal to swim across between the nets while you time how fast it goes. Simple. Next you decide what critter would best work in the 100 meter freestyle. The king cobra of course!
So, nets are in place. The weapon of choice, a young adult Hannah in the 10 to 12 foot range, nicely warmed up in a bag in the sun for a bit. Then remove the snake from the bag, two handlers please, make your way down the steep bank of the river, have handler A up at the dangerous end put the snake out in the water while handler B holds it's tail up against the bank then let it go!
A few minor problems have cropped up at the beginning of this newest sporting event. First there is the reverse gear reptiles who would rather climb the near bank and mill about among the the ankles of the launcher crowd than go swimming. Then there is the group of spectators at the finish line, all busily grabbing videos as the critter heads towards them at considerable speed with most of the competent snake handlers on the other side of the river at the launching site.
Whee! I can hardly wait to avoid that little slice of mayhem. And no. Like, what is faster scrambling up the steep slipperly bank of a river? The moron holding his favorite smell-o-phone or... ?
Apparently feeling a threat from the Darwin Award contenders in the American Midwest... You know, the folks who use a live .22 cartridge to replace a burned out fuse in your pick-em-up etc.
Well, the folks around these parts were not about to be outflanked and outranked. Of course they already hold the top 3,000 spots hands down but felt insecure. They had the down Sukothai way 60 foot long rocket fizzled so they poked it with a stick crowd, and the 'the heck with a firecracker, let's use a propane gas canister under our hot air balloon' (which rose to 15 feet in the air and parked).
So over Isan way (Isan, the Ozarks of Thailand) they had a really brilliant idea. First you install two parallel nets 6 feet apart across a body of water. Then you just get some form of animal to swim across between the nets while you time how fast it goes. Simple. Next you decide what critter would best work in the 100 meter freestyle. The king cobra of course!
So, nets are in place. The weapon of choice, a young adult Hannah in the 10 to 12 foot range, nicely warmed up in a bag in the sun for a bit. Then remove the snake from the bag, two handlers please, make your way down the steep bank of the river, have handler A up at the dangerous end put the snake out in the water while handler B holds it's tail up against the bank then let it go!
A few minor problems have cropped up at the beginning of this newest sporting event. First there is the reverse gear reptiles who would rather climb the near bank and mill about among the the ankles of the launcher crowd than go swimming. Then there is the group of spectators at the finish line, all busily grabbing videos as the critter heads towards them at considerable speed with most of the competent snake handlers on the other side of the river at the launching site.
Whee! I can hardly wait to avoid that little slice of mayhem. And no. Like, what is faster scrambling up the steep slipperly bank of a river? The moron holding his favorite smell-o-phone or... ?