The short and simple answer, you don't. Tarantulas really don't possess the intelligence to be trained. At best, they may become accustomed to you but even this is a stretch. If it doesn't appear to want to be handled then don't.
:wall: How about if you bring her 3 dozen expensive roses, some chocolate crickets:} and start singing that you're crazy about her and apologize for being a neurotic and clean and cook for her for a whole month Hahaha ;P No, seriously now what species do you have? Some tarantulas, especially the old world ones tend to be more agressive by nature. A tarantula is not a dog or a cat that you can play with it, in fact the less you bother her the calmer she's going to be. I wouldn't recommend handling her if SHE DOESN"T LET YOU TOUCH HER, she will let you know and if you sense she's feisty, that is a clear warning NO so just leave her alone and just make sure she is comfortable in her home. Are you providing her with a hide? if not she might feel insecure and nervous everytime you come near her. Just make sure you provide the basic needs and if it's not an agressive species she should calm down when there's peace and quiet in her surroundings
basically they do have some sort of learning capability so what you are shooting for is to more or less detune her "fright" response.
start by "getting her used to" your presence in her cage. after a while she should register that you are not a threat and respond less and less vigorously. this could take a cool long time though, and some individuals are just naturally inclined to be "high strung"
p.s. all the quotes are where i am anthropomorphizing instead of explaining what i really mean with paragraph after paragraph
also, there are some species that "calm down" much much faster than others, and some individuals who seem to never really be all that reliable of a hand pet. you might consider buying another one or two of traditionally docile species for hand pets
yes they do get used to, but you can never be sure it wont bite... the best way to enjoy your pet is to let it be. t is not a dog to play with... it has it's instincts, and his instincts tells it that you are big bad predator reaching for it to kill... firs it runs, but if it got no where to run.. then it bites..
there are species that are MOSTLY passiv like grammostola
if you realy want to handle your t, go for it... but make sure that your t is safe if anything go wrong... you can get bitten, but it can get killed
my advice: don't touch.. just look
Tarantulas are untamable...one of the reasons i love em haha There is always a risk, with any species, no matter how docile, that they will bite or run..or even jump. I wouldn't tell anyone not to handle their T unless it is a particulary viscious or venomous species e.g. Haplopelma. The Brachy's are generally "placid" but can flick hairs and can bite and be defensive. Some people say that B. smithi and G. rosea are the nicest, most docile T's to handle.. yet i've jst been given a G. rosea from someone because it is too much for her son.. it'd have my arms off if they went in its tank! lol They are wild animals and therefore unpredictable... Correct handling and management can reduce the risk of something going wrong but there is still, always a risk.
What species have u got?
I handle my G. aureostriata and have not had a problem. Shes never bitten me, or gone defensive but she can be quick. When handling i'm more worried about the T getting hurt than myself. A fall onto a floor can split its abdomen and therefore kill it... and until you've been bitten or threatened you dont know how your gonna react.
I keep handling to an absolute minimum. Normally only getting her out to see if shes ok after a moult (a few days after shes moulted) and to measure her. Thats about it...
My Ts could easily take on your Ts. We dont call my rosie Chuck Norris because her tears cure cancer!
In all seriousness, you can have a T that puts up with you handling it more than others, but that's about it. Species is really going to make things easier and your experience is going to help you out too, but in the end it'll either let you handle or it wont. Respect what your T indicates at all times!
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