I live in Ireland. All my life (I am 75) I have been terrified of spiders, no cause, I know they are harmless; to me they are threatening and very frightening, and move at speeds which make the 'out of control' in my space. I have embarked on a form of self-administered therapy, looking at images of, especially, UK house spiders on the internet and watching Youtube videos. I fell I should try and acquire a house spider to keep for a while to get me more used to a live one. I would need help in how to look after one - housing, feeding.. Any helpful thoughts or encouragement?
Arachnophobia
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Nicole C G
Arachnoangel
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There are many threads here on how to care for various spiders. Jumping spiders, cobweb spiders, orb spiders, even Opiliones. (Opiliones aren’t spiders, but arachnids.)
I don’t know which is best for overcoming arachnophobia, some recommend jumping spiders because they are small and have cute eyes and are very interactive and curious, however they can move fast and jump around.
jumping spider
others may recommend something else, but I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “Jumping spiders cured my arachnophobia!”
I don’t know which is best for overcoming arachnophobia, some recommend jumping spiders because they are small and have cute eyes and are very interactive and curious, however they can move fast and jump around.
jumping spider
others may recommend something else, but I don’t know how many times I’ve heard “Jumping spiders cured my arachnophobia!”
Having said I am an arachnophobe, this jumping spider is just beautiful, and indeed totally cute. I have watched wonderful videos of furry colourful exotic arachchnids. I've never meet any live spiders like this though. Thank you for your suggestions - I have to emphasize that what I am really terrified of is the UK house spider, big and black and menacing, rubbery and wriggling if caught, long legged and runs like fury. Ugh, if I may - if this expression is a problem for any arachnophiles, please tell me!
Nicole C G
Arachnoangel
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It’s okay, some people here don’t like some spiders but like others. For instance, I would willing hold a jumping spider and maybe a cobweb spider, but a cellar spider, probably not. Also may I ask, what family does the “UK house spider” fall into? Scientific name I mean. I’m unaware of what this common name means.
Wikipedia says: 'The giant house spider has been treated as either one species, under the name Eratigena atrica, or as three species, E. atrica, E. duellica and E. saeva'
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Seriously, I'd suggest a H Venatoria. Huge, faster than lightning, the epitome of all things that trigger a fear of spiders. And with all it's fearsome appearance and lightning like speed, all if wants in life is to avoid you and lead a carefree life exploring your home. You couldn't get one to try to bite you if you managed to cup it in your hand. (Which just isn't going to happen). Get over the initial fright and observe their antics. A one hour therapy session just observing them and just about anyone will start wondering just what they were afraid of.
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I kept a H venatoria for 4 years and they are the biggest wussies ever lol. They are afraid of you, but they are also fast so keep that in mind.
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It's funny you say that because my fiance and I feel the same about the cellar spiders. I have black widows, tarantulas, scorpions, you name it. But those Pholcidae are on another level and I don't want one anywhere near me.
I love your description of this, seems to apply to other heteropoda spiders too. I'll consider this seriously; thanks. .
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I'm somewhat biased to Heteropoda Venatoria. Described to me by an eminent entomologist as the sewer rat of spiders. They are found on every major continent outside Antarctica, They are survivalists, and very common around here. They are very durable and adaptable and hunt everything from gnats to small reptiles. And if someone takes a moment to closely observe them (best is at night using infra red) their antics are comical. They have to explore everywhere, and easily defy gravity. Best of all is they appear to be entirely harmless to humans. No medically significant bite ever recorded and few if any actually attributed to the animal.
They are welcome guests that roam our house nearly year round.
Nothing compliments our view of the river like a little wildlife.
Hey guy, I think your would be girlfriend is hiding under the fridge.
Ah. There she is. Romance is in the air.
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I think I should add a comment or two on phobias: they are quite irrational, and overweening. I know that any spider we get in Ireland is quite harmless - that is not the point. I have a dread of many of them (but by no means all) anyway, the horror is instinctive and completely overcomes any common sense reassurance. Our house spiders look to me totally menacing, though I know they are not dangerous. I am terrified when they move. I have a horror of one getting on me or my clothes - inadvertently, I know, I am aware they don't want anything to do with me, but my reaction is pure panic. I think most people who suffer from some phobia will understand my reactions - I know people who are terrified of slugs, which I am fine with, or moths, or birds, both of which which I love. Even the fact that a spider has 8 legs is a problem, don't ask me why. I have been known to count the legs of a creature to establish whether or not I should panic. Dear goodness how ridiculous. I have picked up a huge moth in the kitchen, that just about fitted into my hand, and carried it carefully to what I hoped would be better quarters, with care, affection and admiration - a house spider half the size or less would have had me calling for my husband to remove it. I don't wish them any ill, I just can't live with them and am trying to find a way to.
xraphaelxx
Arachnopeon
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I started by watching some youtube vids, there are plenty of feeding, rehousing, how-to-care vids etc. Daves little beasties is a good channel.
I'm not arachnophobic, but I was scared of spiders. After watching a few vids my interest was piqued and now I have shelves full.
I find learning and understanding their behaviour really lessens the fear.
Depending on the size of house spider you could probably feed it small crickets.
For housing, I imagine something like this Spider keep from Cobweb castle would work. https://www.cobwebcastle.com/ although I'm not sure if it's currently only in the US.
Would you feel more comfortable starting with a slower spider rather than jumping in the deep end with something fast that could startle & panic you?
I've been struggling with arachnophobia for 4 decades. Jumping spiders for me don't help with it, as I'm not afraid of them at all. They get my adrenaline going, but I'm not afraid. Tarantulas don't scare me either. It's the regular spiders you see out and about in your home and outside that make me sick at the sight of them. There's a saying "You fear what you don't understand." Over the past month of so, I have been doing crazy research of all kinds of spiders native to my region. I've also been going outside around my house, and in nearby forests to seek them out. I watch their movement and behavior from a distance, where I am in control. I have found as a result that I can now tolerate getting closer to a spider, and watch them. There was a time where I couldn't look at pictures online. I would get anxiety attacks. Now I find the more I stare at pictures, or the real thing, it's becoming less foreign to my brain, if that makes any sense, and as a result I can tolerate it much better. I consciously know they are harmless, but subconsciously they trigger my fight or flight response 1000%. A few days ago with a glove, I let a roughly 1" spider outside crawl on my finger. They are one of the bigger spiders that can be seen around a home...I hope lol. It's the first time in my life I've done this. Before, I would have seen one from 10 feet away, and I would have ran back into the house looking for a flame thrower lol. The spider didn't scare me as much as it would have before, because I know it can't jump to land on my face, as I've researched it extensively, and watched it from afar multiple times, and know how fast they move, and what they're capable of. For all I know before, they could jump and reach for my face from 10 feet apart, which is why when I'd see one, I'd panic and run away. Most spiders if not all of them, rather not be near you anyways. They don't seek us out to make our lives miserable.
PS: Heteropoda Venatoria? a huntmans spider like the one picture above?. I'd probably have a heart attack if one was in my home. They are the #1 reason my lifelong dream of visiting Australia is not going to happen. Not kidding either lol. I've heard horror stories of people driving along, and as they pull down the sun visor, one drops on their lap half the size of a dinner plate. That element of surprise would land me 6 feet under instantly.
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I absolutely agree, that is my reason for not going to Australia too. Much of interest in your post, especially about going out to find spiders and watch them live from a distance. I have been watching videos, including the terrific Dave's Little Beasties, for a few weeks now, great channel, I am not past the stage yet of finding the spiders horrifying, but I think there has been a bit of progress. I am genuinely fascinated by all sorts of knowledge about spiders, and the activities of some spiders that I have looked at out of doors. I just - just!! - have to get to grips with the black spiders of pretty well any size that appear indoors ...
HeartBum
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Please see my signature 
Honestly though, despite having however many Tarantulas, our house spiders do truly terrify me still. HOWEVER. Since getting into this hobby, I have become a lot more tolerant, to the point of now being the one in the house or office who is expected to get rid of the beggars. "How can you be afraid of them when you have tarantulas?!" people ask. Easily. They're very different in my eyes. Tarantulas are cute, fluffy, and big. I see them as little puppies. I totally agree with @Moroes in the respect that it is a case of understanding, and slowly becoming more adjusted. We do fear the unknown.
It took me an age to house my first couple of spiderlings, due to fear of an escape or being bitten. Study, study, study. When I come across a species I'm not familiar with, I find myself interested, and will have to know more about it - a curiosity which was never there before, just "run away!". You'll get there. There's more arachnophobes (or former) on this board than you'd expect.
Honestly though, despite having however many Tarantulas, our house spiders do truly terrify me still. HOWEVER. Since getting into this hobby, I have become a lot more tolerant, to the point of now being the one in the house or office who is expected to get rid of the beggars. "How can you be afraid of them when you have tarantulas?!" people ask. Easily. They're very different in my eyes. Tarantulas are cute, fluffy, and big. I see them as little puppies. I totally agree with @Moroes in the respect that it is a case of understanding, and slowly becoming more adjusted. We do fear the unknown. It took me an age to house my first couple of spiderlings, due to fear of an escape or being bitten. Study, study, study. When I come across a species I'm not familiar with, I find myself interested, and will have to know more about it - a curiosity which was never there before, just "run away!". You'll get there. There's more arachnophobes (or former) on this board than you'd expect.
Jonathan6303
Arachnoangel
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The one spider I like to keep at a safe distance is dysdera crocata those fangs are pretty creepy.
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Sitting around chatting with my entomologist friends, a couple, both PhDs. The female of the pair rarely spoke, usually having her face buried in a microscope or some white paper. The discussion ranged all over , why I came to Thailand to attempt to become a monk, the old nature center now a haven for spiders, and some of my sordid past was brought up. Three wives and a few dozen girlfriends. Was monkhood my way of looking for an out from my seemingly endless romantic circles? We discussed the possibility of doing a study of the spiders at the nature center, now shunned by tourists in part due to the spider population.
The female of the pair suddenly dug her face out of a paper and asked me, "How many spiders haveI encountered that presented a significant threat to your health and well being?" I guessed at maybe a dozen, good old Latrodectus Hesperus and I came in contact quite often in my various pursuits and lines of work. She then asked, "And how many of your female human companions were out to envenomate you, suck your bodily fluids and leave you dangling, a dried out husk in the corner of some web."
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr, was that ever from way off in left field! But touche. A hit, a very palpable hit. Hesperus lurking in those crawl spaces and abandoned outhouses, I'm sorry but you come in a distant second the the hazards I presented to myself.
The female of the pair suddenly dug her face out of a paper and asked me, "How many spiders haveI encountered that presented a significant threat to your health and well being?" I guessed at maybe a dozen, good old Latrodectus Hesperus and I came in contact quite often in my various pursuits and lines of work. She then asked, "And how many of your female human companions were out to envenomate you, suck your bodily fluids and leave you dangling, a dried out husk in the corner of some web."
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr, was that ever from way off in left field! But touche. A hit, a very palpable hit. Hesperus lurking in those crawl spaces and abandoned outhouses, I'm sorry but you come in a distant second the the hazards I presented to myself.
Cororon
Arachnoknight
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House spiders and False widows are very common in Ireland and they are nice spiders, but there are also many cute little jumping spiders. I think the most common jumping spiders you have are the Zebra ones (Salticus scenicus). They are small, friendly and very active and curious. In fact, one might be studying you before you even notice it!
I used to be an arachnophobe, but these little hoppies were a good start at curing it. After getting used to how they look I started studying other spiders. Even ones I thought were really ugly are now cute in their own way in my eyes. You know, there is "pretty cute" and "silly cute" (or ugly cute).
One tip is to start talking to spiders. That might sound childish, but it helps you "bond" with the spider in your mind and your empathy will grow.