hahahahahahahahaha at the last one!My witty, old fashioned Grandpa (who loves hearing me ramble on about my spiders):
"How does a tarantula male have it better than a (human) male?
Well, the tarantula might kill him right after sex or if she doesn't he, gets to find another one. The human has to get married."
"What's the difference between a spider and my ex wife?
One is a disgusting, hairy, leggy creature that you just want to kill with the heel of your shoe. The other is a spider."