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Tarantula Interest=freaked out fam

Discussion in 'Tarantula Chat' started by addie, May 10, 2016.

  1. addie

    addie Arachnopeon

    Okay, so I hope this topic isn't too off, and that I posted it in the right forum as this isn't scientific, and hopefully allowed. I'm 16 (thought I had to be 18 to be on this forum,) and obviously still living at home with my parents. In the past I've lamented about my curiosity and infatuation with tarantulas, in fact one time I researched all about Ts' for a whole summer (yeah whatever call me geeky.) I even considered making it a future career somehow, or at the very least a hobby. This is where the problem kicks in, coincidentally my mom nor dad understands my fascination. My mom is simply fearful, and my dad is indifferent but probably confused.

    I've tried informing them. Telling them that I would always keep the enclosure secure, never leave my door open, and always be mindful of the creature. She wouldn't budge on account of her phobia. I even resorted to the pros "they're quiet" "don't smell" etc. Still nothing. Then one christmas I asked for a book about them, but even that didn't happen.

    I fear I will have to wait 2 more years till I move out to get my first T, and believe me I've thought about the decision. I understand why my parents don't want a tarantula in their house, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to try and talk them into letting me own one. I don't want my family to be afraid of setting foot in my room though. Anyone else have a similar problem like this? Person deathly afraid of Tarantula(s)?

    Sorry if this was a stupid post. :meh: I'm just gonna continue lurking this forum until my first T (sadly probably not till I turn 18) :dead:

    Sidenote: The T in my pic (P. ornata)<<<< is one I find particularly fascinating, most certainly not my own, nor would I ever have it be my first.
    Last edited: May 10, 2016
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  2. MorganRose

    MorganRose Arachnopeon Active Member

    I managed to keep 3 tarantulas in my bed room for over 6 years when I was younger. I'm very lucky that my parents are not the most observant of people haha.
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  3. TownesVanZandt

    TownesVanZandt Arachnoprince Active Member

    Well, some people will never be comfortable around T´s, and as long as you live home you need to follow your parents rules. On the bright side, two years passes quickly and with the amount of research you´re putting down, you should be quite prepared when you do enter this hobby :)
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  4. johnny quango

    johnny quango Arachnoknight Arachnosupporter

    Hey firstly welcome to the forum

    There won't be 1 person on here (hopefully) that will consider you a geek for studying about your passion.

    On the point of your parents not wanting a tarantula in their home that's totally understandable there are a lot of people all over the world that tend to scaremonger about arachnids in general saying the usual sort of rubbish like huge spider kills man and more often than not the story turns out false.

    This seems a little crazy but when you move to a place of your own it may actually help your mother with her fear a few members on here started out with a phobia of spiders and now they keep large collections. My mother hated spiders in general but now she always asks how they are and if I have anymore new additions and when she's here she always pays my tarantula room a visit and ive even caught her touching my G pulchra's foot through a vent so don't despair
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  5. Poec54

    Poec54 Arachnoemperor Active Member


    Well, there are fields where the geek thing is going to be tough to get around. Fortunately tarantulas aren't one of them. People will have all kinds of names for you, but geek isn't likely to be one of them.

    We've had many threads about escaped tarantulas, one this week with an OBT. They're escape artists, & have nothing but time on theirs hands to look for weaknesses in their cage. They're strong animals, used to digging thru hard, compacted soils.

    It's not fair to the people you live with to bring one into house if they're totally against it. It will probably end badly for the spider.
    Last edited: May 10, 2016
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  6. complicz

    complicz Arachnopeon

    I brought my first T when i was 18, without asking about permission. My mom was like i will throw you out with her etc., father was like IDC :D. Now after years my mom loves to watch them, she even feed them if im not at home.

    Well i guess its all about attitude :p In your case just keep talking about it till they got sick of you hehe, or just wait till you move out.
  7. SausageinaNet

    SausageinaNet Arachnopeon

    I didn't ask my parents before I got my first T which you should probably not do. My parents just weren't scared and really didn't care about it. Even today my mother doesn't mind the 15 Ts that are currently living in her house. Sometimes parents are annoying and not rational. You will just have to deal with it untill you are old enough and not depending on them.
  8. Poec54

    Poec54 Arachnoemperor Active Member


    People fear what they don't understand, they imagine all kinds of horrible things, and no doubt they've been taught as children to fear spiders. Try gradually educating your family, repeated exposure can take away mysteries and fear. Don't try to convert them all at once, but here and there, tell them something about tarantulas: their behavior, anatomy, uses of silk, poor vision, etc. My last year as a teenager at home, I did that with my mother, who is a lover of cuddly animals, and she gradually went from fear of tarantulas to acceptance, and I ended up getting one with her permission. After I moved out, I started collecting.

    Never force tarantulas on people or try to scare them with spiders or their sheds. That's immature, and you want to prove you're responsible and mature to own them.
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  9. Ryuti

    Ryuti Arachnopeon

    Uh I might not be the best example but im pretty much in the same situation as you

    I bought 4 tarantulas and my parents have no idea and would probably kick me out if they found them

    I have them pretty well hidden but i don't know how intrusive your parents are and if they snoop around your room like mine used to
  10. BobBarley

    BobBarley Arachnoprince

    But... but, I like being called the spider nerd!
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  11. Vanessa

    Vanessa Grammostola Groupie Arachnosupporter

    Firstly, geeks are cool and make the world go round. I am a geek and wear the label proudly... if geek is the worst thing you are then you are way ahead of most.
    Secondly, please don't apologize for your post. This is the whole point of forums - to bring people with the same interest, and challenges, together to share information and support each other. Your post is valid, and may even help others who have been reluctant to post the same question, and you shouldn't feel the need to apologize.
    Arachnophobia is very often a tough nut to crack and sometimes people never get over it. I have found that the more information that I share, with love, respect and enthusiasm, the more people can't help but start to look at spiders differently. They start to pay attention to how you present the information as much as the information itself. If you do it in an engaging way, people are more receptive to it.
    Unfortunately, you might have to wait until you are out on your own and please don't rush moving out just to have tarantulas. You have your whole life ahead of you and plenty of time to keep them on your own terms.
    Last edited: May 10, 2016
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  12. Chris LXXIX

    Chris LXXIX ArachnoGod Active Member

    lol, remember me & bro in '92, when we bought as young kids (13 and 12 years lol) two T's and a couple of Scorpions without telling nothing to anyone, using friends that were with us as a bait (we staged that first) for distract them when we entered home with the enclosures (they screamed: incredible, a junkie tried to assault us on the train for steal our money for buy heroin... but we managed to overpower him -- we was 6 counting friends, after all).

    We hidden the buggers pretty well, then one day my Grandmother was cleaning our room when we was at school and all of a sudden crickets started to sing :banghead: Yeah, T's are quiet, not those.

    So she called our Dad but without an inspection (mistake) and Dad said: "Bah, that sound is probably one of the guys jokes they prepared for Carnival, they are always up to something". Worked (and btw our Dad was clueless as well about those).

    But two days after she inspected well and they discovered those ah ah ah ah.

    Basically they were expecting something like that from us, since we started to catch WC spiders, including the "infamous" L.rufescens as unruly childrens, using beach tools, marmalade jars lol

    Only the Scorpions, Mom wasn't comfortable with those around, so we traded back those with the breeder for two Psalmopoeus...
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  13. Chris LXXIX

    Chris LXXIX ArachnoGod Active Member

    Viewing that now, after decades, at 37, the thing i regret is the lie about the heroin addicted we used, muahahahahahah. They were worried for that (in those years those zombies were a plague here) not for T's.
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  14. Draketeeth

    Draketeeth Arachnoknight

    Instead of breaking house rules and pressing the tarantula issue, do your folks have rules about dragging bugs into the house? Keeping and studying species native to your area for a few days, a week, a month, might prove to be a doorway to what you want. Start with a colony of pill bugs, find a wolf spider, play with beetles, gain some jumping spiders, etc. After this rotation of creepy crawlers, your folks will hopefully become somewhat desensitized to your odd ways, and maybe in a year from now "mom, may I have a tarantula?" won't be met with "ewwww" but with a tolerant sigh and a " Why not, you've already dragged everything else into the house."
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  15. eminart

    eminart Arachnosquire

    This is probably the best advice. Just gradually condition your parents without their realizing it. That's how I became an avid snake keeper with a mom who was terrified of snakes. I started with turtles and lizards, then tiny snakes, and eventually I had whatever I wanted in my room.
  16. Tenevanica

    Tenevanica Arachnodemon

    Is that where your love for Psalmopoeus comes from? I swear, anytime someone brings up Avicularia you have to mention Psalmopoeus! Lol. :hilarious:
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  17. darkness975

    darkness975 dream reaper Arachnosupporter

    No one knows exactly how many invertebrates I have. That helps. I have more than they believe but don't ask don't tell.

    I have to tread lightly even though I am far from a kid.
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  18. Chris LXXIX

    Chris LXXIX ArachnoGod Active Member

    You can say that, man. Well, to be honest, we trade those Scorpions after a couple of months (i've explained this on another-who remember now-thread) but definitely yes, we fall in love with IMO the BEST arboreal genus ever back then.

    Nothing is like a Psalmopoeus for me when it comes to arboreals. No one. I can't count all the P.cambridgei i had and trade since '93. Take ALL the 'Avics' and shy run & hide 'Pokies' you want, people.

    I'm happy with those high strung, bolt, "to dare" temperament Theraphosidae :)

    Well, this doesn't mean that i can't appreciate Asian class A arboreals like 0.1 L.nigerrimum, or the arboreal 'Baboons', since my passion for 'Baboons' is knowed.

    But 'Avics' are a no way here. 'Pokies' ? Bah, striking aesthetics, ok, but i save only a 0.1 P.ornata (a bit "manly" at least).
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  19. Thistles

    Thistles Arachnobroad

    My parents had the same rule. I was allowed to have pretty much anything else: tons of fish, eels, frogs, rats, cats, mantids, millipedes, dogs, snakes... You name it. I just wasn't allowed to keep arachnids. Now when someone asks "why tarantulas, of all things?" my mom will usually say I am rebelling since I wasn't allowed to keep them as a kid. 2 years isn't that long in the scheme of things.
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  20. I totally get what you mean! I'm 25, I have always wanted a tarantula for almost 20 years and finally took the plunge at the beginning of this year. The wait was SO worth it. My mum is still not happy that I have ~horrifying~ creatures in her house but since I'm a working adult she can't really control what I do with my money. If you LOVE tarantulas and are truly passionate about them then don't let the people around you deter you, that is the worst thing you can do to yourself. However, I would advise you to have patience like I did, become an independant adult, get a job, prove to them that you can be responsible. The best thing about adulthood is that it is YOUR decision, not theirs. It's hard to wait, I know, but have patience :)

    LMAO glad I'm not the only one who's done this. My mum thinks I "only" have eight in my art studio. Little does she know... xD Thank god she doesn't come in the room often!
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