T keeper “isolation” ?

Asgiliath

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 4, 2019
Messages
404
Anyone else have a frequent urge to gush over and/or info dumb about your tarantulas but then realize it’s useless because you know you’ll get the “eww” ...”kill it with fire!” Etc. reactions? It hurts just a little lol

I do have one guy at work who asks “they still growin’?” almost every day (which is endearing in a funny way) and a manager that texts me “no pictures of your babies!” (In a weirder endearing way) BUT STILL! This has to be a very common experience...?
 

nicodimus22

Arachnomancer
Arachnosupporter
Joined
Sep 26, 2013
Messages
715
My poor wife gets all the tarantula talk, bless her heart. She's a good sport. Otherwise, not many people are interested in them (putting it nicely.)
 

PanzoN88

Arachnodemon
Joined
Sep 15, 2014
Messages
713
Surprisingly every person I've met seemed interested in learning.

A few weeks ago I was getting a haircut, and I got my phone out to see what was new on the forum, and the lady who was cutting my hair noticed what I was looking at (I was on my photo thread debating on rather or not to post pictures I took earlier that day, which I didn't), the person seemed interested and unloaded so many questions that I was stuck there for a half an hour.

The feeling of isolation only pops up with some visiting family members.
 

mack1855

Arachnoangel
Arachnosupporter +
Joined
Sep 5, 2016
Messages
820
That's why I stick with AB.Despite some irritations with it.This is where my people are,(spooder folk).
 

DancingHare

Arachnopeon
Joined
May 21, 2019
Messages
15
Definitely, I mean I don't own one yet (planning to buy this summer), I am excited to talk about them. I've seen reactions from other people online just like that, and I'm always worried that people will freak out. I'm glad I found this site!
 

Asgiliath

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 4, 2019
Messages
404
That's why I stick with AB.Despite some irritations with it.This is where my people are,(spooder folk).
Right?! So far this place has been pretty cool. I tend to tiptoe around message boards sometimes though. Good thing AB doesn’t do the “hazing”
thing lol
 

korg

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
Feb 24, 2013
Messages
596
Anyone else have a frequent urge to gush over and/or info dumb about your tarantulas but then realize it’s useless
You're definitely not alone there!

I do have one guy at work who asks “they still growin’?” almost every day
"Well, actually they're arthropods and therefore have to shed their exoskeletons, a process known as molting or ecdysis, in order to grow larger. The new exoskeleton develops internally during the premolt period, which is usually typified by..."
 

Minty

@londontarantulas
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
488
Anyone else have a frequent urge to gush over and/or info dumb about your tarantulas but then realize it’s useless because you know you’ll get the “eww” ...”kill it with fire!” Etc. reactions? It hurts just a little lol

I do have one guy at work who asks “they still growin’?” almost every day (which is endearing in a funny way) and a manager that texts me “no pictures of your babies!” (In a weirder endearing way) BUT STILL! This has to be a very common experience...?
Just go for it, the more you educate people the less likely those reactions are. I regularly speak to friends and family about this hobby.
 

Gnarled Gnome

Arachnoknight
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
198
My best friend has a bad case of arachnophobia and "kill it" syndrome. He nearly flipped out when he heard I was keeping arachnids and "warned" me to keep them away from him. I understand this was a coping strategy to feel tough with something he was afraid of. I only have one enclosure in the living room where he'd have to deal with it, and covered the front with a piece of cardboard so he didnt have to see it. He did take a quick peek, and let me show him a pic of the others, so hopefully I can get him desensitized eventually. My mom is fine when she visits as long as they aren't too close. I dont expect my sis to ever come over. Luckily my girlfriend is cool with them and wants to check on them when she's here.
 

Willa

Arachnopeon
Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Messages
31
Mom gags, friends interested, and my dad stares at me hollow eyed, and says, "I don't understand it, but have fun." All the sibs are interested though, which is nice because I can decondition their conditioned arachnophobia.
 

Staehilomyces

Arachnoprince
Joined
Mar 2, 2016
Messages
1,514
I've found inverts to be great conversation starters. While the internet is full of tough guys screaming the old "kill it with fire" you'll find people are generally politer when they're not behind a screen.
 

Asgiliath

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 4, 2019
Messages
404
It can be rough sometimes,tread carefully for a while,and grow a thick skin,:rolleyes:.
Oh, that’s no problem lol this place is nothing compared to a band related forum that I joined a few years ago. I had THE AUDACITY to introduce myself and received a thread or many many photos of dogs pooping. Had a pic of myself as my avatar and was told I look like I have fetal alcohol syndrome etc..........
 

Gnarled Gnome

Arachnoknight
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
198
Oh, that’s no problem lol this place is nothing compared to a band related forum that I joined a few years ago. I had THE AUDACITY to introduce myself and received a thread or many many photos of dogs pooping. Had a pic of myself as my avatar and was told I look like I have fetal alcohol syndrome etc..........
Well if your avatar here is the same pic I got news for you.... :D:rofl:
That's funny did they coordinate on the pooping dog thing, or is that part of band culture I'm not aware of? Lol
 

Asgiliath

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 4, 2019
Messages
404
Well if your avatar here is the same pic I got news for you.... :D:rofl:
That's funny did they coordinate on the pooping dog thing, or is that part of band culture I'm not aware of? Lol
Nah, i’m actually an average looking woman and not Emporor Palpatine in sunglasses lmao and no, the dogs pooping was unrelated to the band. I guess they just weren’t into introductions lol
 

Serpyderpy

Arachnosquire
Joined
Aug 16, 2017
Messages
129
It is isolating. It is incredibly isolating. I get snarky comments from my family and friends and the very few that do like them are people 1000 miles away that I'll only ever be able to talk to through a screen. My boyfriend doesn't mind them and I am so incredibly grateful for that considering he doesn't like spiders but I cannot even begin to explain how isolated it feels when your passion is mostly ignored by those around you. I don't have many real life friends, most of them moved away, and I hole myself up in my room most of the time. Sometimes I wonder why I bothered getting into the hobby to begin with. Most if not all passions I have had have been dragged through the mud. Maybe it hurts more because these are living beings that people are wishing dead? I wouldn't know. Sometimes I'll look at all the animals I have and see no movement or a sign of life and wonder why the hell I dropped so much money on a bunch of tubs of dirt and take so much flack for it but then the little things make it worth it when it happens. It's confusing. I know I enjoy the hobby but every negative outside stimuli/opinion just bears down on me. My self opinion has never been great, in recent years it has got better, but I still doubt myself so much. Most of the time I just go take a nap and tell myself to stop worrying about it.

Feelings are dumb.
 

Asgiliath

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 4, 2019
Messages
404
It is isolating. It is incredibly isolating. I get snarky comments from my family and friends and the very few that do like them are people 1000 miles away that I'll only ever be able to talk to through a screen. My boyfriend doesn't mind them and I am so incredibly grateful for that considering he doesn't like spiders but I cannot even begin to explain how isolated it feels when your passion is mostly ignored by those around you. I don't have many real life friends, most of them moved away, and I hole myself up in my room most of the time. Sometimes I wonder why I bothered getting into the hobby to begin with. Most if not all passions I have had have been dragged through the mud. Maybe it hurts more because these are living beings that people are wishing dead? I wouldn't know. Sometimes I'll look at all the animals I have and see no movement or a sign of life and wonder why the hell I dropped so much money on a bunch of tubs of dirt and take so much flack for it but then the little things make it worth it when it happens. It's confusing. I know I enjoy the hobby but every negative outside stimuli/opinion just bears down on me. My self opinion has never been great, in recent years it has got better, but I still doubt myself so much. Most of the time I just go take a nap and tell myself to stop worrying about it.

Feelings are dumb.
I can relate pretty hard! Esp when it comes to not having many irl friends at all. Thanfully, my bf and mom are in board but...there is my dad who replies “step on it!” to every pic
 

GalacticFurai

Arachnopeon
Joined
Oct 17, 2018
Messages
2
My mother is a bit icky about them, but she loves them.
My brother is a kill it with fire person, but he looks at them occasionally. One time he was talking to me and my avic was sort of pressed into the top corner where he was and got freaked out lol.
Isolated? Not entirely, my friends either love them or tolerate them.
My dog? Too dumb to know what anything is
I don't go out and say "hi I'm a tarantula person and...." Mostly cause I'm anti social, but thats where tarantulas come in, my best friends
 

SkittleBunny

Arachnosquire
Joined
Aug 25, 2016
Messages
96
Literally did this yesterday at my job LOL my life is only animals so thats all i talk about and it is really a hassle making friends for me but who needs em right?
 

Vanisher

Arachnoking
Old Timer
Joined
Oct 2, 2004
Messages
2,533
Yiur animal are yiur friends! My only friends way back where my tarantulas and the cochroaches living under my sink!
 
Top