Spiders are only for children??

[dragonblade71]

A very strange post title but let me explain. I had a grandmother who was a very intelligent woman and we enjoyed many great conversations together. She knew that I had an interest in wildlife and photography. On one occasion, she heard that I had bought a large book on spiders. She asked me that surely, I had bought the book for the photography appreciation and not because of the subject matter (spiders.) I replied that I bought the book for both of those reasons - the photography and the spiders. Then she asked that surely, I'm not interested in spiders? I replied that I was. She kept pushing this question to me repeatedly and said something about such subject matter is really only suitable for children. In other words, in her mind, it wasn't really appropriate for an older person like myself to buy a book on spiders.

I admit I was really puzzled and confused. So I asked her why she thinks that spiders can only be appreciated by kids. She didn't give an answer.

Actually, a similar kind of thing occurred at a previous time on Christmas day. My family were in the main living room in the morning and a spider happened to be there. So I got out my spider identification pocket book to try and ID it. And then the book was left there on the table. A little later, my grandmother arrived and as soon as she saw the spider identification guide, she assumed straight away that it was a Christmas present to my much younger brother. I then said it was mine. Upon hearing that, she went very silent.

So yes, I'm still confused by this. After all, spiders are not toys that are produced to be marketed towards children. They're living creatures. And I think that all living creatures can be appreciated by anyone, regardless of age. And what about arachnologists? I hope she doesn't think that what they're studying is childish. And by the way, my father (her son) was an entomologist.

I actually do recall that at times, my grandmother was referring to a bird field guide book to ID birds she had seen. And really, this is not too different to the spider ID book that I had.

So can anyone understand this alternate point of view because I can't.

 

[Arthroverts]

Arachnology (and entomology in general) is not a subject seen for the work it is doing; in other words, many people don't appreciate it because, well, I'm not sure exactly, despite it being a very important field of study. I'll get back to you on that...

Just my two cents.

Thanks,

Arthroverts

 

[chanda]

I can sort of see where she's coming from (even if I don't agree, of course!)

It is pretty common for kids - particularly those who play outdoors a great deal - to be fascinated with the natural world. Many children will catch bugs and spiders, tadpoles, snakes, frogs and various other small creatures, stick 'em in jars or shoeboxes, and try to keep them. Kids who are particularly interested may put a great deal of time and effort into researching and learning about these creatures and even request relevant gifts from relatives at birthdays or Christmas - but it is also common for these hobbies to be pushed aside as the children get older and develop new interests. You'll find a lot more 6- and 7-year-olds interested in bugs than 16- or 17-year-olds, and while it is generally considered perfectly normal for a kid to bring home a spider in a jar with a wide-eyed "Can I keep it, Mom? Please?" it is still considered rather unusual for an adult to do so.

Assuming your grandmother is of the same generation as mine - or even as my mother - there is an expectation that childhood interests will give way to dating, studies, career, marriage, and children - and "acceptable" grown-up hobbies like bird-watching, playing golf or tennis, collecting coins or stamps, playing the piano, or whatever else passed for acceptable in her day. She would probably consider many other things - such as comic books and graphic novels, video or computer games, and superhero movies - "childish" and not suitable for adults, even though many of those things are specifically created for an adult audience these days.

It's probably a combination of the attitude of an older generation that some hobbies or interests are "appropriate" - and others are not - plus their personal experience or observations that many children do "outgrow" their fascination with creepy-crawly things as they get older and devote more of the their time, energy, and resources to other things.

 

[dragonblade71]

Chanda, that makes very good sense. Good observations. Odd that I could not get an answer from my grandmother when I asked her.

 

[The Snark]

Full circle. The scope of a persons appreciation of the natural world is limited by the individuals ability to learn. The more restricted the learning capacity is, the more mundane and narrow the thought processes. Anything 'outside the box' they encounter gets dismissed in one form or another. An accusation of something being childish is negation-derision, a very common form dismissal of something beyond the persons scope. Oddly, this dismissal is in itself childish.

 

[chanda]

Chanda, that makes very good sense. Good observations. Odd that I could not get an answer from my grandmother when I asked her.

It's not really that odd. People don't like to be called out on their assumptions - particularly if there is the possibility that they might be wrong. If she does not feel like she could adequately explain or defend her position, it's easier to say nothing. There's a very good possibility that she's never examined her attitude that interests in spiders or other creepy crawly things are for children, and she may not even be able to articulate why she feels that way.

 

[Chris LXXIX]

Yes, spiders are only for childrens. Every adult person that keep spiders is affected (in a way or another) by the 'Peter Pan' syndrome and risk to turn into John Wayne Gacy*

*Unless he/she pledged loyalty to the Goddess**

**0.1 Pelinobius muticus PBUH (Peace Be Upon Her)

 

[dragonblade71]

I know this was originally posted a few years ago but there's some extra information about this topic which I can add.

You'll find a lot more 6- and 7-year-olds interested in bugs than 16- or 17-year-olds, and while it is generally considered perfectly normal for a kid to bring home a spider in a jar with a wide-eyed "Can I keep it, Mom? Please?" it is still considered rather unusual for an adult to do so.

Like many fellow hobbyists, there have been numerous occasions where I have caught spiders and placed them in jars and of course I have done this into my adult years as well. Though interestingly, my grandmother has never been aware of me doing this. Actually, there may have been one or two occasions when I was younger (perhaps as a teenager.) Though generally, she didn't know that I was into collecting spiders.

It's specifically the books on spiders that she thinks are targeted towards children. And that has me confused. And by the way, I'm not referring to childrens books on spiders! One of those books is an identification guide - useful for all ages. So if she sees a book on spiders or if you mention a book on spiders to her, immediately she'll assume that it's for children.

 

[The Snark]

she'll assume that it's for children.

How about you read the abstract on this web page to her: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30543821/

@dragonblade71 By the way, you have a paradox in the "is for children". What exactly is knowledge intended for a child? The building blocks of the persons entire life. More learning in the first seven years than the average persons rest of their lifetime. So is for children is the most valuable learning tool a person encounters. Without the proper learning during the formative years an adult may dismiss entire sciences, such as arachnology, calling the sciences childish.

A person in the lobby at Astrophysics, Cal Tech. "Star gazing is for children and dreamers."
Another person: "Astrology, astronomy. All the same to me."

 

[darkness975]

Sounds like grandma needs to find something to occupy her time and mind. The arm chair psychology thing is not working.

 

[ForTW]

Well on a first level, with basic knowledge, she's right i guess.
The fact, that a whole lot of people get freaked out by them because all they see, are eight legs, tells me we need more grown childs .

It's like saying to be an astronaut or an archologist is childish, abstract and will remain a dream. To actually get serious, is on a whole other level. That's not very common and the majority doesn't know this.
Additionally, it's another generation. Without Internet.

Just ignore it.