"she" turned out to be a male

spideyspinneret78

Arachnoprince
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
1,253
A bit of a disappointment today....an OBT that I bought last year as a confirmed female molted out today as a mature male, complete with tibial hooks and emboli. I'm sad because I was looking forward to having this tarantula for years, and now his days are numbered. A beautiful spider, nonetheless though. I wrote an email to the place I purchased him from and they just didn't seem to care much. I've heard so many stories like this....make sure that if you buy a 'confirmed' female, you get it from a reputable dealer, else you may not get what you're expecting.
 

Poonjab

Arachnoking
Active Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2019
Messages
2,755
I wouldn’t be disappointed with it being male. But I would be pissed due to the fact they charged you more for a female and sold you a T under false pretenses.
 

viper69

ArachnoGod
Old Timer
Joined
Dec 8, 2006
Messages
17,851
A bit of a disappointment today....an OBT that I bought last year as a confirmed female molted out today as a mature male, complete with tibial hooks and emboli. I'm sad because I was looking forward to having this tarantula for years, and now his days are numbered. A beautiful spider, nonetheless though. I wrote an email to the place I purchased him from and they just didn't seem to care much. I've heard so many stories like this....make sure that if you buy a 'confirmed' female, you get it from a reputable dealer, else you may not get what you're expecting.
Who was the seller, we must warn people of this, esp new people.

If it was any other species almost, I'd say don't worry sell the male. But OBTs, jeez you can't give them away. They are GORGEOUS though. What sucks is the extra moola you dropped.

Did you pay by credit card? If you did, then you were sold the wrong product, and you can call your bank and claim fraud. I do this ALL the time.

In the exotics hobby, listen, ultimately these are all products, esp the big companies, they are making money off of you, selling what...animals. Just because it's an animal doesn't mean it's exempt from your hard earned money being taken on good faith.

It's plain out FRAUD.
 

spideyspinneret78

Arachnoprince
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
1,253
It was a small "mom and pop" type store in California. I wrote them a firm, yet polite email explaining the situation and just won't do business with them again. The spider is stunningly beautiful, and I'll enjoy him while I can. I think that in the future I'm going to be more discerning who I buy from, though, especially if I'm buying a confirmed female.
 

viper69

ArachnoGod
Old Timer
Joined
Dec 8, 2006
Messages
17,851
It was a small "mom and pop" type store in California. I wrote them a firm, yet polite email explaining the situation and just won't do business with them again. The spider is stunningly beautiful, and I'll enjoy him while I can. I think that in the future I'm going to be more discerning who I buy from, though, especially if I'm buying a confirmed female.
I don't know them, but they have your cash, that's all I know.
 

Arachnophoric

Arachnoangel
Joined
Aug 29, 2016
Messages
947
It was a small "mom and pop" type store in California. I wrote them a firm, yet polite email explaining the situation and just won't do business with them again. The spider is stunningly beautiful, and I'll enjoy him while I can. I think that in the future I'm going to be more discerning who I buy from, though, especially if I'm buying a confirmed female.
Precisely why I won't buy a tarantula as a confirmed anything from a pet shop without seeing for myself. I've had many places try lying to me in hopes of making a sale. 🙄

Sorry you got screwed on the sex. However, mature males can still live quite a while when taken care of to accommodate them - my N. incei male made it nearly a full year mature before passing away, keeping a decent appetite and provided with an additional water dish to make sure he stayed hydrated.
 

testdasi

Arachnoprince
Old Timer
Joined
May 26, 2008
Messages
1,066
It was a small "mom and pop" type store in California. I wrote them a firm, yet polite email explaining the situation and just won't do business with them again. The spider is stunningly beautiful, and I'll enjoy him while I can. I think that in the future I'm going to be more discerning who I buy from, though, especially if I'm buying a confirmed female.
This just happened to me as well (sort of - ventral sexing not molt sexing but the dot method is very reliable with Pokies). I wrote a message to the seller and we'll see how it goes. I tend to prefer amicable resolutions instead of name and shame. Mistakes do happen and maybe I'm naive but I still believe in the goodness of people.
 

Arachnophoric

Arachnoangel
Joined
Aug 29, 2016
Messages
947
This just happened to me as well (sort of - ventral sexing not molt sexing but the dot method is very reliable with Pokies). I wrote a message to the seller and we'll see how it goes. I tend to prefer amicable resolutions instead of name and shame. Mistakes do happen and maybe I'm naive but I still believe in the goodness of people.
You're the user who just posted the ventral of your 3.5" metallica, right? I'd wait until you can get a molt to confirm that your T is in fact male before saying anything to the seller - though Poecis tend to be easy to ventral sex, it's never 100% certain and there are some caveats. My female looked pretty male by her ventral and had to be sexed via molt.
 

testdasi

Arachnoprince
Old Timer
Joined
May 26, 2008
Messages
1,066
You're the user who just posted the ventral of your 3.5" metallica, right? I'd wait until you can get a molt to confirm that your T is in fact male before saying anything to the seller - though Poecis tend to be easy to ventral sex, it's never 100% certain and there are some caveats. My female looked pretty male by her ventral and had to be sexed via molt.
Yep that's me. I said similar point to the seller about molt sexing being more reliable and told them I'm fine to wait for a molt to confirm. However, since the T just arrived yesterday, it's always good to let the seller know asap (and as always, I always try to make it pleasant).
I'm actually quite zen about the gender of my T's. It's that if he/she turns out to be male then I'd like at least a partial refund so I can buy another T - female P. met aint cheap so that refund can end up quite exotic. ;)

I have named it "Lars" for now, after the Metallica drummer, since you know, MM will drum. If he turns out to be female then it will be Larsee haha.
 

Arachnophoric

Arachnoangel
Joined
Aug 29, 2016
Messages
947
Yep that's me. I said similar point to the seller about molt sexing being more reliable and told them I'm fine to wait for a molt to confirm. However, since the T just arrived yesterday, it's always good to let the seller know asap (and as always, I always try to make it pleasant).
I'm actually quite zen about the gender of my T's. It's that if he/she turns out to be male then I'd like at least a partial refund so I can buy another T - female P. met aint cheap so that refund can end up quite exotic. ;)
Fair point! Just figured I'd say as much - there are a lot of people who seem to think ventral sexing is far more certain than it is, wouldn't want someone to do anything hasty.

I have named it "Lars" for now, after the Metallica drummer, since you know, MM will drum. If he turns out to be female then it will be Larsee haha.
That's quite clever, I love it! 😂
 

RezonantVoid

Hollow Knight
Joined
Jan 7, 2018
Messages
1,354
Ive had this happen more times than i can remember and had everything from sellers ditch me to accuse me of showing them photos of a different specimen. Its a crazy world we live in
 

Rozwyrazowana

Arachnopeon
Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
35
It happened to me as well. I got an adult female T. albo. After a week in my care "she" burrowed for two months and came out as a MM. I do believe it was an honest mistake because I got him for free from a friend, but still, I'm sad about it.
 
Top