- Joined
- Mar 7, 2012
- Messages
- 4,095
My personal approach for delivering advice is to be respectful and to stick to the facts of the situation presented rather than "grandstanding" about how little research the person did. The lack of research is already obvious to us, and calling it out doesn't accomplish anything more than offering corrections does. Sometimes it even backfires, resulting in the person getting so defensive that they disregard sound advice -- to the tarantula's detriment.
I'm not saying we don't offer some of the best advice (we do) or that everyone who comes here has done their due diligence (they haven't), just that without at least some foundation of knowledge, it can be challenging to recognize which advice is good and which advice is BS. The more specialized or technical the area is, the truer this becomes.
And yeah, they could sift through all of that stuff -- good or bad -- and start asking for clarification/opinions from multiple sources, but I think some people just get easily overwhelmed by an abundance of information and just want a "reader's digest" version from someone with experience. That's why we made the beginner's thread and other resources, so we can just point them there when they ask instead of having to repeat ourselves.
I think most of the time, when our regulars come across as blunt or abrasive, it's not done with the intention of being mean. Instead, it is due to differences in communication styles, difficulties interpreting tone online, frustration at having answered the same question many times before, or sometimes just prioritizing the content of information over the delivery (or the welfare of the tarantula over its keeper's feelings).
I think it's just that with Internet access being ubiquitous, and people coming online to ask questions of a wider audience, we are able to see this behavior in abundance, whereas 20 or 30 years ago, this behavior wouldn't be on display to people outside their personal circles of family, friends, and acquaintances.
Doing the research is something every responsible pet owner should do, but in fairness, if you are brand new to tarantulas, you may not have the requisite knowledge to distinguish between good information and misinformation. There is a lot of misinformation out there, much of which is proffered by people who claim to be experts. To a newbie, we are just strangers offering advice on a forum, not a known quantity. To a newbie, who's to say our advice is better than the care sheets or YouTube personalities they may have encountered?
I'm not saying we don't offer some of the best advice (we do) or that everyone who comes here has done their due diligence (they haven't), just that without at least some foundation of knowledge, it can be challenging to recognize which advice is good and which advice is BS. The more specialized or technical the area is, the truer this becomes.
And yeah, they could sift through all of that stuff -- good or bad -- and start asking for clarification/opinions from multiple sources, but I think some people just get easily overwhelmed by an abundance of information and just want a "reader's digest" version from someone with experience. That's why we made the beginner's thread and other resources, so we can just point them there when they ask instead of having to repeat ourselves.
I understand how frustrating (and boring) it can be to see the same questions asked repeatedly when we know that a simple search or a glance at the beginner's thread contains the information they're looking for. However, I try not to be too snarky. When I'm in a less patient mood, I just let other people field those questions and look for more interesting threads.
I think most of the time, when our regulars come across as blunt or abrasive, it's not done with the intention of being mean. Instead, it is due to differences in communication styles, difficulties interpreting tone online, frustration at having answered the same question many times before, or sometimes just prioritizing the content of information over the delivery (or the welfare of the tarantula over its keeper's feelings).
Most of the keepers to whom I've given advice seem relatively open to it. When I encounter the few who insist on arguing against sound advice, I just disengage from those threads and move on. How such keepers are reacting reflects poorly on them, not me, and there's no need to waste energy feeling offended or time continuing to engage with them.
I'm not sure that this is really a generational issue so much as one of visibility. I know plenty of older people who don't do research (or can't evaluate it well), and plenty of young people who do. The same goes for the ability to handle disagreement or constructive criticism.
I think it's just that with Internet access being ubiquitous, and people coming online to ask questions of a wider audience, we are able to see this behavior in abundance, whereas 20 or 30 years ago, this behavior wouldn't be on display to people outside their personal circles of family, friends, and acquaintances.
