LPS prices and Controlling Parents (over adults)

[ZergFront]

I wasn't sure if this should go in the Watering Hole or here since it's kind of a rant as well as plead for advice. (you've been warned! LOL!)

Do local pet stores have online stores to sell tarantulas and about how much? I'm also looking in *strangled look*... Craigslist! :wall:

My Mom controls my money (even though I'm 25) and thinks $100 for a tarantula (wanted to get a P.irminia female for the two boys) is "rediculous" even though I want to use the money. Says "Think about it; that's 3 days off your paycheck. You want to work three days to get a spider?" Guess unless you earn more than $9-$10 an hour for seven hours a day, your breeding projects are going to be non-existant. :wall:

I know it takes time and everything to get a tarantula that size, I've told her I'm NOT going to be able to find anything under $50 for a female (still thinks that's "rediculous") but she knows absolutely NOTHING about the real world in the hobby. Even though she thinks she's this super-smart shopper and knows how to bargain/haggle, etc. I've never seen a female tarantula of ANY species going for under $50-100+.

She thinks she's doing me a favor I guess controlling what I buy. Not like I even treat myself often like a shopoholic but I guess bugs aren't on her "smart purchases" list.

I do feel bad for having thought such things for such a long time since I live with her but since there aren't very many other places that would take bugs and California is so expensive I feel kind of stuck. My parents don't have a problem with the bugs but they think tarantulas are a lot cheaper than what they are in reality.

I'm sorry about ranting but I've kept it bottled up for some time and now I'm getting frustrated. I almost want to leave all boards and unsubscribe a lot of videos so I won't be so tempted. Anyone have parents that think they know more about something your involved in than you do?

 

[Redneck]

My dad likes to think he knows more about the bugs and reptiles.. But in reality... He knows I know more.. But my parents are super cool..

My mom gave me half of the laundry room for a critter room..

I know that might not seem like much.. But she once said I could not have more than 20 Ts in her house... & no roaches.. I now have twice as many Ts & am working on 2 roach colonys.. So.. IMO that is a big step..

I told my dad I was thinking about selling alot of them off.. (A while back.. Not recently..) He said he would knock a knot on my head if I sold any of them..

He came home from being gone for 2 months... (He is an over the road truck driver..) First place he went.. Straight to the critter room.. Started messing with the critters.. Pulls my boa out and turns around and goes to his recliner to sit with her..

I cant lie.. I have had the cool parents since I was little.. Er.. Younger..

 

[ZergFront]

Very cool, Tommy. Yeah, my parents are ok with the tarantulas but they can't understand why anyone in their right mind would spend so much for them. I would have dropped $65 for the L.nigerriums Paul has in a milisecond! I thought the price they were way before was too much but even I have my price. :drool:

Also, this week my Mom was concidering getting a noisy bird at the pet store for the price I was willing to pay for a female for my irminia males. Chevy had his MM but died from a growth being broken. I have two penultimate males left..

 

[BrettG]

You need to take control of your money away from your Mom.That will help right off the bat.... And as far as her comments,some people just DO NOT understand the hobby,and NEVER will,no matter how many times we try to tell them how much we enjoy it. To them it is just silly,and a waste of money.. Accept the fact that you are in this situation.I am not trying to be a jerk,but some people just will never get it.( your Mom,being one)You MAY be better off holding off purchases and putting that money aside in a separate account to help you get out on your own.Maybe one of the reasons she frowns on your hobby is the fact that it is money that could be spent on more important things?Like i said earlier,I am not trying to be a jerk,just trying to explore some options,and shed some light on how some people view the things we love..

 

[Redneck]

Very cool, Tommy. Yeah, my parents are ok with the tarantulas but they can't understand why anyone in their right mind would spend so much for them. I would have dropped $65 for the L.nigerriums Paul has in a milisecond! I thought the price they were way before was too much but even I have my price. :drool:

Also, this week my Mom was concidering getting a noisy bird at the pet store for the price I was willing to pay for a female for my irminia males. Chevy had his MM but died from a growth being broken. I have two penultimate males left..

I dont think my mom understands why I pay so much for some of the critters I get.. But.. She only complains a little while.. But at the same time she knows its my money.. She has actually spent some money on some of my critters.. For b-days and x-mas..

She mostly sees fit to buy stuff for her grandbabies now days.. So I am on my own for the bugs..

She really questioned me when she heard I bought one of thsoe T. blondi slings from Paul.. And it dies.. So I still hear about that one..

I sure wish I had an extra female for your boys.. I would let you have it.. But.. Im not sure what my other irminia is.. Its wanting to act like a Grammy.. With not molting & not eating.. First time I have ever seen that with a Psalmo..

 

[BlujayOnTheWing]

Ouch, that sucks Probably part of the problem is that she doesn't understand why "really big spiders" would be worth so much money ('all they do is sit there!'), and add that to the fact that the only idea she might have of market value for tarantulas is from the rosehairs you see most often in pet stores, which run 20-30 bucks. You could try ordering a sling online- they're cheaper, but of course they're also more delicate and they may die in transit :\

How exactly does she control your money? She has direct control/access of it? Or if you spend it in a way she doesn't like, you'll be reprimanded/punished for it? If she is directly in charge of your cash, you could be sneaky and get 10/20 bucks out of her at a time, save it, and buy your T anyway Of course, she won't be happy about that...

My mom always said I could have a tarantula but not in THIS house... and yet she's slowly warmed to the idea and is okay with the T living in my room, where she doesn't have to see it So... people change. Maybe it would help to show her the prices around on these forums and elsewhere? That way she'll see that you're not just being obnoxious by insisting on a "really expensive tarantula", but that that's a pretty normal price range.

 

[ZergFront]

You need to take control of your money away from your Mom.That will help right off the bat.... And as far as her comments,some people just DO NOT understand the hobby,and NEVER will,no matter how many times we try to tell them how much we enjoy it. To them it is just silly,and a waste of money.. Accept the fact that you are in this situation.I am not trying to be a jerk,but some people just will never get it.( your Mom,being one)You MAY be better off holding off purchases and putting that money aside in a separate account to help you get out on your own.Maybe one of the reasons she frowns on your hobby is the fact that it is money that could be spent on more important things?Like i said earlier,I am not trying to be a jerk,just trying to explore some options,and shed some light on how some people view the things we love..

No, you didn't come off as a jerk at all. I will ask if maybe their was some new home plan. I really want to get on my own.

 

[LV-426]

I dont wanna be a jerk either but at 25, you are an adult and should handle your own money. If you dont have a job thats a different story. If you do, try to get out on your own. I am just giving u some advice The best thing my dad did for me was to kick me out at 26 (i was living with a girl before things happened and had to move back with my old man for a while). I dont ever wanna live with my parents again. Good luck getting the Ts you want.

 

[ZergFront]

I am just giving u some advice The best thing my dad did for me was to kick me out at 26 (i was living with a girl before things happened and had to move back with my old man for a while). I dont ever wanna live with my parents again. Good luck getting the Ts you want.

Wow, I don't know how I would find another place so fast. Good you found someone.

Ouch, that sucks Probably part of the problem is that she doesn't understand why "really big spiders" would be worth so much money ('all they do is sit there!'), and add that to the fact that the only idea she might have of market value for tarantulas is from the rosehairs you see most often in pet stores, which run 20-30 bucks.

I was thinking that. I really wish I could find a naive LPS selling Psalmopoeus. Maybe I'm just better off sending my two males off on a 50/50 and keep some of the slings.

How exactly does she control your money? She has direct control/access of it? Or if you spend it in a way she doesn't like, you'll be reprimanded/punished for it? If she is directly in charge of your cash, you could be sneaky and get 10/20 bucks out of her at a time, save it, and buy your T anyway Of course, she won't be happy about that...

She can move the money around to the savings, the card and knows a lot more of this accounting stuff than I do. I can remember all my spiders' Latin, the anatomy, but someone starts talking about morgage, loans and other bank stuff and my brain turns mushy. :8o:wall:

Can you get cash you have on hand onto your debit card through an ATM or do you have to go to the bank?

Maybe it would help to show her the prices around on these forums and elsewhere? That way she'll see that you're not just being obnoxious by insisting on a "really expensive tarantula", but that that's a pretty normal price range.

That's a good idea. Thanks you guys for helping.

 

[LV-426]

@zergfront, that was along time ago. Im 34 now. I had roomates after i left my dad's house (wont do that again), and after that I had friends help me find a place

 

[hassman789]

My parents understand why people would want to spend money on the hobby. they went to the reptile show and saw $1,000 snakes and understood that, they were even calling it a cheap hobby compared to the snakes. Sorry that your mom doesn't understand the JOYS of spending money on Ts. lol

 

[skippy]

you can come down here to monterey zerg, and me and my buddy will be happy to take one of those penultimate males off your hands and hopefully repay you with a couple hundred slings other than that, the EBV sometimes has psalmos.

finding a place to live out here is a nightmare though, i'll agree.

 

[2oCHEVYo0]

Yea man, being out on your own is tough right now... Especially when you're trying to go to college and work full time. I can't afford to go to school and work part time, so alas, I will sadly be moving back to the parents house... kinda sucks but my parents are very cool with keeping pets (other than snakes). Even though they said only one or two, me and my bro are now at 17 total down in there basement. They still are fine with us getting more, but money is slowly becoming an issue. If only they gave out tax returns once a month instead of once a year! :wall:

Just shed some light on the fact that, if you did buy one and got alot of slings. You could make a couple hundred bucks off of it in a pretty decent amount of time. She'd be crazy not to understand that lol

 

[lazarus]

Does she really need to know how much you've spent for the spider? it's YOUR money man, YOU are the one working for them so YOU should spend them however it pleases you.

You should get control over your accounts, sooner or later you will have to do it anyway! (you'll get married one day and trust me you don't want your wife controlling your finances)

 

[jonnyquong]

A bird??? A smelly, dirty, noisy, high maintenance bird? :wall:
Perhaps you could compare the difference in care between birds and spiders? How you can go on a month's vacation and not worry about your spider, compared to trying to find someone kind enough to watch your bird while you're gone.

 

[apopli]

I know *exactly* what your mum is trying to do, and it's going to hinder you *just* as much as if she let you blow all your money nilly willy, because it's possible if you take control of all your money right now and move out, you'd struggle on how to budget. I got the boot at 17 and it took me YEARS to get a proper budgeting system in place. I even did the "pay off the visa with the mastercard" thing at one point, it's so easy to screw up if you aren't organized.

So a way to try and make everybody happy? Tell your mum you want a budget on every paycheque. X amount for fixed expenses (bills, if you contribute to rent, whatever), X amount for savings (the amount that goes aside every month that you don't touch - this will probably be the smallest contribution per pay) and X amount for variable expenses (the amount of cash you get every month for things you need, like clothes for example, that aren't necessarily fixed). Your variable amount you get 100% control of to spend on what you see fit, even if that's a new tarantula. Don't have enough for it? You'll have to save until your next pay. She doesn't like it? Too bad, because you've fulfilled your obligations month to month financially, and this is your spending money. If you call in sick and are short on a payday, this is probably the portion of the budget that will suffer for it.

That way you'll have a good understanding of where your money's going and when you eventually move out you'll go with wisdom of how to distribute money responsibly every month, she's happy because she keeps a large element of control for the time being, making this less painful for her (lol), and you're happy because you don't have to answer for that spending to anybody but yourself.

Just don't propose something like that in anger. Have a sit-down and discussion about it and explain how much she would be helping you become a responsible independent adult by doing this (that's how I have to approach many things with my mother - even after having been on my own for 11 years, owning my own house, and paying my own bills lol).

Good luck on getting your new T. My parents don't understand my spending on animals either, and unfortunately, probably never will.

 

[BlujayOnTheWing]

Hmm, there are some ATMS that you can deposit to as well as withdraw from, but I don't think they're very common :? lol I'm not sure. I don't know much about banking either, I have a savings and a checking and a debit card- all I know is if I put money in my checking account, I can buy stuff with my card

 

[Merfolk]

My folks are furious at the simple fact that exotics are legal and that they can't use the law to force me getting rid of them. My mom told me she would scratch me off her will if I ever buy a python again. When there is a TV ad for Reptile expo or stuff like that, they go "The World is really messed up", seeing the polularity as a sign of moral downfall. To them, normal people should erase critters from the planet. whatever, I understand how you feel because even 250 km away, three phone calls a day to make sure the animal is gone is what I call controlling.

 

[ZergFront]

My folks are furious at the simple fact that exotics are legal and that they can't use the law to force me getting rid of them. My mom told me she would scratch me off her will if I ever buy a python again. When there is a TV ad for Reptile expo or stuff like that, they go "The World is really messed up", seeing the polularity as a sign of moral downfall. To them, normal people should erase critters from the planet. whatever, I understand how you feel because even 250 km away, three phone calls a day to make sure the animal is gone is what I call controlling.

Holy freaking cow, that is bad! I have a friend of mine that has a mom like that. She'd call him 4 times a day just to see what he was up to, if he was drinking, is he eating properly, etc. The guy is 26. :wall:

That's also very sad how they feel about creatures. Snakes are such accomplished, fascinating animals.

Things are looking a little better here. Mom even seems a little curious about my breeding projects. Still, the most she thinks I should be paying for a single T would be in the $30 range which isn't bad. Most Psalmopoeus slings are about that if not less. I was quite surprised she got me two spiders for my Birthday.

 

[Johnny1320]

Things are looking a little better here. Mom even seems a little curious about my breeding projects. Still, the most she thinks I should be paying for a single T would be in the $30 range which isn't bad. Most Psalmopoeus slings are about that if not less. I was quite surprised she got me two spiders for my Birthday.

You're 25, and you mom treats you like you are 15. This disturbs me. Unless you are some strange man child sitting around in your spiderman pajamas watching cartoons all day, I would feel inclined to get the hell out.