It Doesn't Count as Another Spider If...

[Ungoliant]

Post some humorous rationalizations that are used to counter objections (by someone who lives with you) that you got more spiders than you had planned to get.

It doesn't count as another spider if....

• it came as a freebie with your order.

 

[Vinny2915]

*It doesn't count as another if it is the same species
*It only counts as one more even if it is a communal with 6 or more because they inhabit the same living space, so it counts as one.
*It doesn't count if it was given to me through a trade (even if I trade one away for two of something else)
*It doesn't count if I'm going to be selling it eventually (if I buy a whackload of slings looking for a breeding pair), then it is just profit. (But I end up keeping like 3 females)
*It doesn't count if they look similar (pokies, regardless of coloration I throw in here because I love pokies lol and to an average person most seem indistinguishable)

 

[spookyvibes]

“It doesn’t count as another spider if...”
-it’s a pet hole/web/ghost

 

[basin79]

"It doesn't count as another spider if......."

.......it's one you've been after for ages as you've always been keeping that door open.

.......it's an absolute stunner and you just have to own it as you never know when one will be available again.

 

[Eternalhour]

“... It doesn’t count as another spider if...”

...you’ve already made inquiries about the transaction

... they don’t find out that you’ve got it until you’ve had it for several weeks anyway...

 

[basin79]

"It doesn't count as another spider if......"

.......it's a scorpion, centipede, mantis, vinegaroon, assassin bug......

 

[Nightshady]

I know this is supposed to be humorous, but I’ve actually convinced my wife that:

It doesn’t count as a new spider because...

...it was a freebie and I didn’t even know they were going to send it. I’ll send an email and ask them not to send free spiders again without them telling me!

...it was a freebie but it’s like a $50 sling and what was I going to do? Say no? Are you mad woman??

...this sling is so rare I might never get another chance to get it. You wouldn’t pass up on buying a unicorn now would you?

...this one is for our son. What? I can’t buy two new spiders and not get him one too. What kind of dad would I be if I did that??

...because it’s replacing the two slings that died.
Her: But you lost two and you bought four!
Me: Right, but I actually only bought two, but then there was a freebie, and I had to get one for our son of course.
Her: But one of the slings that died was our son’s!
Me: True, but I was taking care of it for him because it was so small, so it was technically mine until it was big enough for him to take care of.
Her: Wait... what?
Me: Look babe, I know math isn’t your strong suit, but trust me this is all even. I mean honestly I think I should probably reward myself and get a new spider for not buying too many to replace the ones I lost.
Her: You have a problem.

 

[Sarkhan42]

The current rationalization I’m battling is

“two Dwarves are basically the same as one non dwarf right? So I’m basically getting one spider, not two”

 

[Greasylake]

I'm using the inverse of the "it's for your son" rationalization. It doesn't count if I'm buying it for my dad for father's day. He has his eye on a B. Hamorii.

 

[ShyDragoness]

..What do you mean why did I get 4?? you have to get at least 2 or its not worth the shipping!! and that one was really affordable.. and I really wanted that one... AND I HAD ALL THESE EMPTY BOXES

 

[Toddydog]

If I had the extra room does it really count?
If I get 3 slings for the price of one adult T it only counts as one.

 

[Vinny2915]

...you’ve already made inquiries about the transaction

this legit killed me

 

[Olan]

I think dwarfs don’t count at all, no matter how many you get. They’re more like house spiders.

-if they are the offspring of your beloved mature male you sent out to breed. Got 6 H. gigas slings with this one.

 

[The Grym Reaper]

Gets a mystery box of half a dozen slings:

"Still only counts as one"

 

[14pokies]

It doesn't count as another spider, cuz I do what I wanna

 

[Ungoliant]

-if they are the offspring of your beloved mature male you sent out to breed. Got 6 H. gigas slings with this one.

For combo points, you replace the male that you shipped off (doesn't count), and later you also get some of his slings (doesn't count).