If you share the hobby with your significant other...

belljar77

Arachnosquire
Joined
Apr 7, 2010
Messages
129
How do you deal with differing opinions regarding care? Or do you each have your own Ts and do with them as each of you see fit? We can agree not to give our daughter a bowl of M&Ms for breakfast, but whether or not to mist the Avics? Not so much...
 

Mack&Cass

Arachnoprince
Old Timer
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Messages
1,574
Since Mackenzie was in the hobby before me, I learned a lot of what I know from him so we have the same opinions regarding husbandry. If we ever have conflicting ideas on something we just research it until one of us breaks down and admits defeat.

Usually him :}

Cass
 

rustym3talh3ad

Arachnoangel
Old Timer
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
885
Since Mackenzie was in the hobby before me, I learned a lot of what I know from him so we have the same opinions regarding husbandry. If we ever have conflicting ideas on something we just research it until one of us breaks down and admits defeat.

Usually him :}

Cass
ive got a similar thing in my house. i have been nutso for T's and scorps since i started with my first one 3 years ago. she had a liking of them before she met me but i opened up the possibility of her owning them, and also gave her much of the knowledge she has about them. i got her the first T she owns and she got the other two by way of me introducing her to the reptile shows. she was trying to tell me all these different things that she thought i should know, which at first was a bit irritating since she really had no idea what she was saying and it was just things she had seen on TV or whatnot. finally i said ok, u wanna know whats what and handed her my copy of TKG (edition 3). I told her to read it as much as she wants, and then when she has something she wants to tell me go for it. unfortunately she read it cover to cover in about 2 days absorbed a ton of info and now tells me things that i didnt even know lmao. oh well.

outside of that, she kinda just does her own thing. i pay close attention to her versi sling as they are notorious for being born under a bad sign, but other than that she just does her own feeding and care. when im doing something cool or something i think she should know i openly invite her in to my tarantula layer and let her experience some of the neat things she wouldnt get to do with the little guys she owns. i have yet to introduce her to this or any other forum, becuz it would put my sanity at risk lol ;P
 

Bill S

Arachnoprince
Old Timer
Joined
Oct 2, 2006
Messages
1,426
Same as with anything else. Sometimes we disagree but we come up with acceptable solutions (not necessarily compromises). To some extent we debate what the correct way is, and to some extent we say "You take care of yours your way, I'll take care of mine my way." If one of us has more experience with a particular species, that carries weight. If one of us can argue a good case, the other might bend a bit.
 

Hobo

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Staff member
Joined
Jul 27, 2009
Messages
2,206
"Ok, we'll stop misting the avics for a couple of months and see how they do. After that, if you still think that we have to mist....

We'll argue some more."
 

thumpersalley

Roach Lovers Mom
Old Timer
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
293
With my husband & I, we have our own stuff. He has 2 dogs, I have one. We both take care of them but he decides what hes going to do with his. The same for everything else. We have seperate dressers, parts of a room. He has his R/C car stuff on one side of the "game" room, I have my wildlife rehab stuff on the other. If I need help with the inverts, all I have to do is ask & hes there but its my stuff & he only does what hes interested in or what I need help with. When we do presentations, he knows as much as I do or refers someone to me if he doesnt know. I think if he had his own Ts, he would have his own & do what he thinks is correct for them & I would do the same with mine. Therefore no pointing fingers & so on. As our relationship goes, we would learn from each other, compare notes & maybe change the way we do things. Kim
 

malevolentrobot

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
Jan 21, 2010
Messages
310
this thread is making me jealous of you all! :p

my boyfriend doesn't mind my Ts, but definitely does not share my enthusiasm. pity, because he tends to research the heck out of stuff he does like, so it would be nice to have someone IRL to discuss Ts with. i was hoping maybe finding a T he likes would do the trick, but so far all 6, regardless of positive input by him, are concidered mine and mine alone.
 

syndicate

Arachnoemperor
Old Timer
Joined
Aug 26, 2005
Messages
4,508
My girlfriend has like 14 t's now I think :?
And I take care of them all!lol
-Chris
 

BlackCat

Arachnoknight
Old Timer
Joined
Jul 29, 2009
Messages
195
I'm pretty much the one that takes care of the T's and does all of the feeding, research, rehousing, watering etc. My husband likes to look at them and will occasionally give a few of them crickets but for the most part it's all me, and I'm fine with that! lol
 

Toirtis

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 14, 2010
Messages
316
I was the first hobbyist between us, but when I recently revived T-keeping after a 5 year break, it was my fiance that ran with it. We now have 15 Ts between us, with 13 of them being hers. We agree on basically all aspects of T-care, with Allicia doing most of the care and feeding.
 

MichiganReptiles

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 14, 2010
Messages
408
He enjoys watching them and is excited that his L. parahybana molted today. He will also unpack them (other than the P. ornata's.. lol) or rehouse them if necessary and build custom enclosures, but as far as husbandry goes.. it's all me. He does the day to day feeding/misting/caring for the reptiles and I take care of the T's. It works :)
 

belljar77

Arachnosquire
Joined
Apr 7, 2010
Messages
129
Yep, he does the enclosure construction, ventilation-hole drilling, etc., and I do the day to day. But as he likes more defensive species, he gets to do maintenence on his pokies & H. gigas (although I think we have more to fear from my boehmei). We do quibble about a few things, but then research it together. The main problem is we egg each other on: "Just buy it..."
 

MichiganReptiles

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 14, 2010
Messages
408
Yep, he does the enclosure construction, ventilation-hole drilling, etc., and I do the day to day. But as he likes more defensive species, he gets to do maintenence on his pokies & H. gigas (although I think we have more to fear from my boehmei). We do quibble about a few things, but then research it together. The main problem is we egg each other on: "Just buy it..."
That's us exactly!
 

TarantulaHomes

Arachnosquire
Joined
Apr 30, 2010
Messages
78
Before we got into the hobby, my wife was very arachnophobic, but when I brought our first spiders home, she was totally ok and only said something like "if anyone escapes I'm gonna sleep in our car" {D Eventually she got rather interested in them and now she can easily handle our pulchras, feeds them once in a while and cleans the cages. Our 6-year-old son has absolutely no fear of any of them! He handles big pulchras, smithis and always asks when we are going to handle them again. I'm sure he would go ahead and hold our metallicas if I let him do it :D
 
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kaydyn1512

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
Jan 30, 2009
Messages
304
this thread is making me jealous of you all! :p

my boyfriend doesn't mind my Ts, but definitely does not share my enthusiasm. pity, because he tends to research the heck out of stuff he does like, so it would be nice to have someone IRL to discuss Ts with. i was hoping maybe finding a T he likes would do the trick, but so far all 6, regardless of positive input by him, are concidered mine and mine alone.
Get a A versi sling. They start out this incredible blue and morph into a beautiful green/magenta/purple. They are generally docile (there is always an exception) get it for his birthday or anniversary or ... You'll have him addicted in no time :)
 

zonbonzovi

Creeping beneath you
Staff member
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
3,346
How do you deal with differing opinions regarding care? Or do you each have your own Ts and do with them as each of you see fit? We can agree not to give our daughter a bowl of M&Ms for breakfast, but whether or not to mist the Avics? Not so much...
Fisticuffs. My wife's pretty tough, but I have a longer reach. Domestic violence jokes aside*:

We have a large number of creatures in the house so taking time to argue means that something misses out on care. We each have our favorites(I love centipedes, she loves mantids), things we hate to feed(me=fruit flies, her=lateralis), etc. For the most part, things are very much collaborative and each of us has a unique set of knowledge with some overlapping areas. Our only real arguments are over organization/space issues & lapse in judgment while wielding the credit card online.

*Note: domestic violence is not funny...unless it involves toothless yokels and it's televised, and even then...*
 
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