I have an unusual situation

BorisTheSpider

Overly Complicated
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May 26, 2009
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First let me start by saying that a good friend and fellow collector has taken a serious turn for the worst with his health . At this point I'm hoping he makes it to Christmas . The worst thing that I have discovered about getting older is watching friends and family pass on to the hereafter . I know that it's a necessary part of the cycle of of life but it sucks none the less .

Now to the situation . He has given me his entire collection . My problem is that they are all species that I already have at least one of . I do plan to keep the few that I know are his favorites . I know that he gets some comfort knowing that the will live out their lives in happy little containers in my happy little herd of Ts .

My plan , and he is totally okay with this , is to give his collection away to people who can appreciate and will care for his furry eight legged friends . The stems from my belief that in honor of the upcoming holidays it should be on everybody's agenda to at least one nice thing for a total stranger . Good will shouldn't be limited to the ones that we know but to anyone that might benefit from the kindness of another person . I think that finding new homes for orphan Ts and happy new owners getting those Ts sans the cost is definitely spreading the Christmas cheer .

I think that I will break up his collection into groups and list them in the sale forum one week at a time until the are all gone . Does it sound fair ask that the recipient to obviously pay the shipping charge but also the cost of the shipping supplies ? Does listing free Ts sound like some kind of scam ? Does anybody have suggestion as to the best time to list the Ts so the the largest number of people have to opportunity to adopt these Ts ? Gives me some feedback please . Also any prays that could sent my friend's way will be greatly appreciated .
 

Chris LXXIX

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A great decision, man. To ask for shipping price and shipping/logistic supplies cost IMO isn't only fair enough but right. I'm sad for your friend and his loved ones, health is the most important thing we have.

Take care.
 

BobBarley

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Sep 16, 2015
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That is extremely horrible. I'm going though a similar experience. It's been really, really tough. I pray that your friend gets better, and I offer my deepest and sincere wishes that everything will be ok. I know the feeling man, knowing that one of your loved ones might pass. It is absolutely horrible.

I think that I will break up his collection into groups and list them in the sale forum one week at a time until the are all gone . Does it sound fair ask that the recipient to obviously pay the shipping charge but also the cost of the shipping supplies ? Does listing free Ts sound like some kind of scam ? Does anybody have suggestion as to the best time to list the Ts so the the largest number of people have to opportunity to adopt these Ts ? Gives me some feedback please . Also any prays that could sent my friend's way will be greatly appreciated .
It is fair, and I doubt that people, especially in this tight community of spider lovers, will think it's a scam. I would gladly adopt some, if you feel comfortable giving them to me. Thank you, and best wishes to you and your friend.
 
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Trenor

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Jan 28, 2016
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I am sorry to hear that your friend is in bad health. It's my hope he gets better or is at least comfortable during his remaining time.

I think asking for shipping fees and items is more than fair. I'm not sure when most US people are on but I image the afternoon or evening would be the best.
 

G. pulchra

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Might want to think of some way to ensure that these go to good homes and not to somebody who will flip based on the cheap price. I have no idea what species you'll be offering up but shipping plus supplies will more than likely be inexpensive. First hog to the trough doesn't always work the best ;)
 

BorisTheSpider

Overly Complicated
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Might want to think of some way to ensure that these go to good homes and not to somebody who will flip based on the cheap price. I have no idea what species you'll be offering up but shipping plus supplies will more than likely be inexpensive. First hog to the trough doesn't always work the best ;)
This an absolute concern of mine which is why when his wife suggested Craigslist I immediately said no . They aren't gonna end up in some horrible tarantula torture YouTube video .
 

G. pulchra

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Exactly, there are also some that are here that are "into" tarantula's that will be gone from the hobby in a few years
 

Vanessa

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I'm so sorry that your friend is doing poorly. My heart breaks for his situation and he couldn't have picked a better scenario for his collection.
If I were in your position, I would hand pick members on this forum first - people that you can trust without question - and offer the collection to them first. Then, I would advertise the remaining tarantulas in the classifieds as per your original idea.
I know it might sound as if you're playing favourites, but you might end up doing that anyway when you choose people from the classified ads. And that would be public.
My heart goes out to your friend and all who love him.
 

Spidermolt

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May 29, 2015
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This an absolute concern of mine which is why when his wife suggested Craigslist I immediately said no . They aren't gonna end up in some horrible tarantula torture YouTube video .
hence why going to this site is more worth it, and more responsible in the long run because there are plenty of people out there who are inexperience and will take in any T with no knowledge other that to look "cool" owning a large spider. i think its fair to give up the Ts for just the shipping costs for rehousing if it comes down to a T in need for a proper home and not for some novice flee market site.

I'm sorry for the situation that your in and i truly hope for the best.
 

Spidermolt

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I'm so sorry that your friend is doing poorly. My heart breaks for his situation and he couldn't have picked a better scenario for his collection.
If I were in your position, I would hand pick members on this forum first - people that you can trust without question - and offer the collection to them first. Then, I would advertise the remaining tarantulas in the classifieds as per your original idea.
I know it might sound as if you're playing favourites, but you might end up doing that anyway when you choose people from the classified ads. And that would be public.
My heart goes out to your friend and all who love him.
VanessaS replied faster than i could reply and also put it in better words than i could.;)

I agree 100%
 

dmahaffie

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Apr 14, 2015
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I agree as well! I don't know how many Ts your talking about, but I would go to folks you know and trust first. I would think, under the circumstances, most folks would help out. I have done this before myself, taken in a small group of Ts for a friend who was moving out of country. Most were duplicates of what I had, but I have kept them anyway in case that she may want them when she comes back to the states.

Dixie
 

Bugmom

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May 28, 2012
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I agree with others in that you should offer them to people you trust vs putting out an ad, even if that is just people you see and respect here on the forums (I don't know how many people you know IRL that keep inverts).

Sorry to hear about your friend. :(
 

cold blood

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I'm so sorry that your friend is doing poorly. My heart breaks for his situation and he couldn't have picked a better scenario for his collection.
If I were in your position, I would hand pick members on this forum first - people that you can trust without question - and offer the collection to them first. Then, I would advertise the remaining tarantulas in the classifieds as per your original idea.
I know it might sound as if you're playing favourites, but you might end up doing that anyway when you choose people from the classified ads. And that would be public.
My heart goes out to your friend and all who love him.
This was my first thought as well...message people you have had good experiences with, people you KNOW to be good keepers and good people.

I agree about the last part as well, put an ad like that up and your inbox just may fill up on you.

Sorry you have to be in this position.:sorry:
 

Andrea82

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My best wishes to you and your friend in this difficult time :(

I would try to give them to trusted people on here, instead of giving them to people who might just be interested in free spiders. Asking for compensation of the shipping fee and products is definetely more than fair!
 

johnny quango

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May 17, 2013
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I'm sorry that your friend finds themselves in this awful situation i can't imagine what they're going through.
I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this but in the grand scheme of things life throws at us a seemingly small gesture like finding a home for their collection will mean a whole lot more than you think.

As for charging for shipping and supplies i agree it's a sensible thing to ask of anyone. i also agree with what others have said about choosing people you trust.
Personally if i was in the us i would've gladly taken any tarantulas you wanted to move as I'm sure alot of other members would
 

Jeff23

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Jul 27, 2016
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I am sorry for your pain and hope your friend somehow gets better. I just lost my step-father this year so I can relate with this.

I think your plan is great. You could even create a donation thing where people could donate $1 or more (based on their ability) to some known beneficial charity that your friend likes as well.
 

chanda

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Jun 27, 2010
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I'm so very sorry to hear about your friend's health problems. I think that must be one of the hardest parts of getting older - seeing your friends and other loved ones deteriorate in health and pass on. He is fortunate to have a good friend like you to take charge of his beloved pets and see that they find good homes. You have helped him a great deal by relieving him of that concern.

Having the recipients pay shipping and shipping supplies is not only reasonable - it can also be seen as a measure of their committment to their new pets, because they are willing to invest (albeit minimally) in obtaining those pets. People do tend to value more highly those things that they have worked for themselves or invested in with their own resources - whether time or money or other efforts. As has been suggested, offering them here gives you a chance to screen applicants to make sure they have the experience and ability to properly care for their new pets, rather than just offering them to the first comer who thinks a tarantula would be a cool pet - but has no idea what they are getting into.

Best of luck finding good homes for your friend's tarantulas, and prayers and good wishes to him for whatever healing is possible - and peace and comfort in the time that remains.
 

Estein

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Feb 11, 2016
Messages
154
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I hope his health will allow him to enjoy time with friends and family to the fullest in his last weeks.

As others have said, asking for others to pay for shipping and shipping supplies is more than fair. I also love the idea @Jeff23 had of an option to give a portion of the money that one originally would have spent on the Ts to a charity important to your friend.
 
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