How I cured my arachnophobia

fengzi

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 22, 2023
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10
If you'd asked me 2 years ago if I was afraid of spiders I'd say definitely. I never would of imagined that I'd be fine holding spiders back then. I was ok with my spider catcher (Spider Catcher https://amzn.eu/7STbu3Z - highly recommended and useful for other creepy crawlies that need relocating) for relocating them to outside but that was it. And I would not even go near Giant House Spiders (Eratigena sp), my partner had to catch those.

Basically I never intended to cure it, it was a series of small events that got the ball rolling.

I found what I thought was a spider on my letterbox. Took a photo of it and wanted to know what it was as I had never seen a spider like it. Posted it on British Spider Identification group on Facebook and it turned out it was a harvestman. Looking through the group got me interested and I found myself taking photos for ID purposes.

I got so used to looking at the various spiders, learning their names, about their habits, I got desensitised to them. I still hadn't held one though and was apprehensive about doing so as I have sensory issues; don't like feeling bugs etc crawling on me and also had a bad experience when I was younger when a giant house spider ran across my hand.

The holding part started with tiny spiders that ended up in my hair after being under my tree full of spiders and the biggest so far is a Nuctenea umbratica (Walnut Orb Weaver). Don't think I'll ever hold a GHS though as they are very fast and I don't fancy one crawling up my arm to my face.

Now, far from being terrified of spiders I adore them and have literally peformed makeshift surgery on a Zygiella x-notata (Missing Sector spider) that had been wrapped in silk by a Pholcus phalangioides (Cellar spider) - I had been watching the Zygiella walking around my bathroom and saw it get caught. I wouldn't normally intervene but the local Pholcus had been killing a lot of other resident spiders I'd gotten attached to and would say hello to when I saw them. I used toothpicks and a wooden skewer to gently unwrap the silk and then used the toothpick under the bent legs to encourage them to the natural position. Once the spider was alright walking I let him go on my hand and took him outside.

I also give dehydrated spiders a drink via damp cotton buds taped to the wall near them (still have a few I haven't took down) or a damp piece of cotton wool.

I'm so obsessed with spiders now that I constantly check walls for them, go out at night with a torch looking for them and bought various macro clip on lenses, digital microscope, proper microscope, inspection pots etc. My neighbours know me as the spider woman and my OH gets irritated at my obsession.

I've now got two pet spiders (found in house, saving them from my cat and dog). Both Eratigena sp. One female adult who has recently layed eggs (which I'm looking forward to documenting the hatching process) and a sub adult or juvenile (not sure what stage they are at).

So, long story short, a simple way to cure yourself of arachnophobia (if you know anyone with it and they need advice), take photos, learn their names (also giving pet names to resident ones in the home helps) and learn their behaviour.
 

MillipedeFan

Arachnosquire
Joined
Mar 13, 2023
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71
That's fantastic! I was kind of trained by my mum to not be scared of spiders (whenever we saw one, she would go "aww, look how cute it is!")
 

ladyratri

Arachnobaron
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Feb 15, 2022
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474
That's fantastic! I was kind of trained by my mum to not be scared of spiders (whenever we saw one, she would go "aww, look how cute it is!")
We got our first T just before my younger son turned 4, and now he's been similarly trained to think all my spider photos are adorable. 🥰
 

IntermittentSygnal

Arachnotic
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654
Positive exposure is the key. I used to take my daughter with me hiking and looking for Argiopes. She enjoyed finding them and we often enjoyed checking in on the one that had moved in the jade beside our apartment door. When she was in first grade, she became very close with a girl who was terrified of spiders. She picked that up from her despite my several attempts to dispel that fear. This of course caused stress when I was temporary housing black widows that my coworkers had caught rather than kill. Over the next few years, I was able to lessen it, but I think the big kicker was that her class had a class pet that needed a home for the summer and she was proud to volunteer me... a tarantula. Finally at almost 22, she looks in on my Ts daily.
 

fengzi

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 22, 2023
Messages
10
Positive exposure is the key. I used to take my daughter with me hiking and looking for Argiopes. She enjoyed finding them and we often enjoyed checking in on the one that had moved in the jade beside our apartment door. When she was in first grade, she became very close with a girl who was terrified of spiders. She picked that up from her despite my several attempts to dispel that fear. This of course caused stress when I was temporary housing black widows that my coworkers had caught rather than kill. Over the next few years, I was able to lessen it, but I think the big kicker was that her class had a class pet that needed a home for the summer and she was proud to volunteer me... a tarantula. Finally at almost 22, she looks in on my Ts daily.
They had tarantulas at my college (I did animal welfare and they had an exotics section on the animal unit).

We were offered the chance to hold them but only a few volunteered. I said no at the time (through fear) and probably would now tbh because of the sensory thing but I wish I hadn't been an arachnophobe then.

It would have been a great chance to look at them up close. I do enjoy watching them on YouTube though.
 

bunnythetarantula

Arachnopeon
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
14
I used to have a phobia of centipedes, but overcame it when I became interested in millipedes, and then other bugs, and finally centipedes (and house centipedes, the scariest ones lol)
 

The Snark

Dumpster Fire of the Gods
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Been having an on and off discussion about phobias with a friend, a psychologist, and her colleagues. A neuro-pathologist chimed in recently with some highly technical jargon that we have been attempting to translate into something comprehensible.

In essence, the fundamental building blocks, neural connections in certain parts of our brains are designed to virtually connect and build neuron pathways, synapses, of their own accord. These in essence are linked to the animal's most basic survival mechanisms such as the fright and flight triggers. These synaptic connections, build on similar lines to how cancer cells grow. This is the reason why phobias, from functional and necessary on out to seemingly idiotic are developed. Built on primary building blocks in our brains.

On the other hand, retraining our brains to overcome phobias involves a much more sophisticated set of neurological functions where brain connections, the synapses, must be retrained, or even new synapses must be developed in order to overcome the fright-flight survival functions. The retraining involves much more sophisticated parts of the brain usually enlisting the pre-frontal cortex, the thinking rational part of the brain, to take charge of the lower order built in thinking the brain automatically develops.

All the technical issues aside, this explains on a physiological level why we can instantly develop a phobia but it can take months or even years of brain cells development and retraining for the phobia to be overcome.
And in turn, one tool used in retraining the brain is employing other basic building blocks of the brain to retrain the other building blocks, such as the like-dislike triggers. As example, discovering how adorable jumping spiders are.

"A basal, rudimentary, function in the brain would be analogous to a doorway in a house connecting two rooms. The retraining of the brain can be equivalent to attaching a multi-story office building to that house then telling the brain process instead of walking through the doorway you need to take an elevator up to the twelfth floor, travel along several hallways and visit a number of offices then take the stairway back down to that other room.
Or you can employ other convvenient brain processes such as instead of using that doorway, just enter the kitchen, another basic pathway familiar to the brain, and use the kitchen's doorway to that other room instead."
 
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darkness975

Latrodectus
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Aug 31, 2012
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5,610
I had to train myself to not be afraid of spiders and other critters. Unfortunately my mom is arachnophobic and that shaped my younger years.

Now I will intentionally seek them out.

Also my collection speaks for itself, even in its current reduced state.
 
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fengzi

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 22, 2023
Messages
10
I had to train myself to not be afraid of spiders and other critters. Unfortunately my mom is arachnophobic and that shaped my younger years.

Now I will intentionally seek them out.

Also my collection speaks for itself, even in its current reducef state.
I've no idea if my mum's arachnophobia is why I was arachnophobic tbh. Maybe. But then my dad had only mild arachnophobia and was willing to be the put outside person with a piece of rigid paper and a glass.
 

The Snark

Dumpster Fire of the Gods
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The point of my above post is a person does not need to learn a phobia. The fright reaction - response is hardwired into our brains. It is directly connected to the spontaneous nervous system as automatic as the knee jerk as well as connected to the adrenal system and functions. Learning the copy cat disorder from an authority figure during the earliest formative years is another hardwired function where the child mimics another person since they have not yet learned the higher order brain functions where they reason out their own responses.

All of these hardwired functions of the brain are natural, grouped together under the term survival instinct. As natural as what goes on in the body when a person feels hungry and wants to eat as in you don't need external stimulus to trigger the salivary glands to augment the digestive system. All built in right out of the box bodily functions.
 
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Pedipalpable

Arachnosquire
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Jan 2, 2023
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80
I have always been very fond of insects and arachnids for as long as I can remember, so I have thankfully never had any need to get over any fears. Over the years, I have was able to teach my mother who was originally quite arachnophobic not to fear spiders anymore, and now she just takes them outside when she finds them in the house instead of being scared of them. She is also quite fond of my tarantulas, and enjoys taking a look at them now and again. She is the one who came up the name for my first T, a 2" female Brachypelma hamorii named Ruby.
 

The Snark

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Over the years, I have was able to teach my mother who was originally quite arachnophobic not to fear spiders anymore, and now she just takes them outside when she finds them in the house instead of being scared of them.
I'm in the role of a go between here with the qualified psych crowd asking some very technical questions as to what you did to / for your mother to overcome the phobia. I'm paraphrasing their questions BTW, using simplified wording. The jist of what they want to know is the methodology, the progressive steps you have taken.

In essence your mother had <senses- seeing a spider> -> <fright> -> <response> This is basal. Basal being BASAL: basic, elementary, rudimentary, underlying, introductory, fundamental, elemental, rudimental. That is, a hard wired function of the brain just slightly more sophisticated than it sending electrical impulses to the heart telling it to beat or the collective brain functions telling a person to breathe. Fully automatic and built in to the brain. Thus the <function> -> (does, leads to ) <response>.
This is very similar to the electric wiring in a house. It's there and present. You flip a switch and a light comes on.

Now what you did in your mothers case was flip a switch which turned on a computer. The computer being the pre-frontal cortex of the brain. The thinking rational part of the brain. You wrote a computer program for her brain. <seeing a spider> -> <STOP> (computer program takes over) -> <go to program <Oh how cute!> -> <But you really should be outside> -> <catch spider> -> <go outside> -> <release spider>. Does this make sense?

Now the all important reprogramming, change, that you made in your mothers brain is the <STOP>. Where the basal reflex leading to -> <fright> did not happen. Essentially you disconnected the light bulb from that switch on the wall and connected the wires to the computer. This is what the psych crowd wants to know. An extremely important first step in the therapy of correcting a persons thinking and conduct.

I hope you can follow the above, and shed some light on this. It's the crux of most of a psychotherapists job when correcting aberrant behavior. Let's not go into what exactly that is since it's very complex issues that isn't relevant here.
 
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