For Guys, question about girls and your hobby

[TGod]

Just wondering have any of you been lucky enough to find a girl who doesn't mind the fact that you share your house with enormous spiders. In my experience most girls don't even want to enter my mine cause of one pet. It generally annoyes me, "there in a friggin tank, they have NEVER escaped, it's not like I let them roam free lol. Anyway if I found a girl that would actually go as far as buying me a T or even hold one, I think I would marry her on the spot lol.

 

[Crysta]

im a chick. lol
it's hard enough for me to find a decent looking guy that has reciprocating feelings for me. So I understand the difficulties. But I am pretty dense too... so its a hard thing for me to realize that they do or might indeed like me. Guys need to learn to use spoken words or written, but ya know just say things. Anyways, I am a bit weird. Its hard for me to talk to people face to face as I get shy easily in public or what ever so I act a bit different or say/do silly things. I think im kinda a bimbo. lol.

I guess my views on life are abit wierd as well. I want to say lots of things about things but they sometimes just don't come out. Takes some getting used to me, then I probably won't shut up. But normally im a pretty quiet person, in general. I like to sit in quiet and don't feel awkward then I notice the other person seems bored then I feel bad. I like to sit in company but don't often need words to express it, but i get some people do like to talk so I try to make conversation lol


dang its been a long day at the airport travels i think i am ranting.

 

[kanito107]

Well I already had a girlfriend when I decided tarantulas were going to take over my room. At first she wasn't sure but after getting the first one she was like okay they're alright then she the versicolor I got and she fell in love and now she sometimes helps me with decisions about a next t and helps me with cleaning. She even has a ball python named skittles

 

[8leggedloverlassie]

I'm a chick too:biggrin:,and truthfully,I think it harder for a chick who has spiders to get a guy!,that's just my view cos the way I see it, guys will mostly be guys and its not really unusual if they have spiders or scorpions etc,but there is sorta a different expectation for girls. Now I don't want to show off,but I'm a tall,slim,and apparently attractive 21 year old and teen boys and older boys say I'm hot:biggrin:,but when they hear my hobby is tarantulas it kinda freaks them out!:: Some of them ask me with interest how I feed them and I truthfully tell them I pop a cricket in live or crush the head and offer it to them and one of them said I need help!!:sarcasm: I'm a bit into makeup and shoes and clothes:cute:but WAY more into plants and animals and critters. and that's the way it's gonna be! I know I will be an amazing and fun and loyal GF one day but if there is no interest or at least RESPECT of my hobby,then it won't work out:cry:,I LOVE my t's:love::love:,they are my babies,and even if theyr still around when I have a real baby,they will still be my
babies. <3 <3:love:

 

[LittleSister]

I'm a girl as well and imo it's hard for a girl to find a partner as it is for a guy. Some guys freak out when I tell them I keep spiders, others find it fascinating but they wouldn't go near a tarantula. Also people are always suprised when they hear I adore spiders, because they have this sterotypic person in mind and I dont look like that.

 

[kanito107]

What Im learning from this thread is: girls wake up earlier than guys

 

[globeswitch143]

my girlfriend adores my pets and brags them to her friends.. i always feel like a millions dollars.. LOL.. this Christmas she will be giving me t's and scorps as gifts... and oh yeah, i will marry her definitely.. =)

 

[TGod]

U kidding, it was a girl that got me into the hobby I fancied for ages,plus she was French lol. To me girls
having hobbies( like tarantula) just shows they aren't some typical hollyoaks hairdresser sort with about as much personality as a wet carrot lol.

 

[Mirgrith]

I'm a girl too, and my bf can't stand my T's or scorpion. Nowadays he can stand them little bit better but still he doesn't like them. I'd like to have lots of more T's but my bf don't seem to like that idea. But I think it's harder for guys to find a girl who can stand T's, so good luck!

 

[1hughjazzspider]

I'm a chick too:biggrin:,and truthfully,I think it harder for a chick who has spiders to get a guy!,that's just my view cos the way I see it, guys will mostly be guys and its not really unusual if they have spiders or scorpions etc,but there is sorta a different expectation for girls. Now I don't want to show off,but I'm a tall,slim,and apparently attractive 21 year old and teen boys and older boys say I'm hot:biggrin:,but when they hear my hobby is tarantulas it kinda freaks them out!:: Some of them ask me with interest how I feed them and I truthfully tell them I pop a cricket in live or crush the head and offer it to them and one of them said I need help!!:sarcasm: I'm a bit into makeup and shoes and clothes:cute:but WAY more into plants and animals and critters. and that's the way it's gonna be! I know I will be an amazing and fun and loyal GF one day but if there is no interest or at least RESPECT of my hobby,then it won't work out:cry:,I LOVE my t's:love::love:,they are my babies,and even if theyr still around when I have a real baby,they will still be my
babies. <3 <3:love:

After reading this I just have one question to ask you..... Where is Gosford and is it close to Oklahoma?

 

[darksidemxer]

my girl was 100% against till we rescued dahmer *my obt* from being killed. at first she was scared then id catch her watching him and being facinated....then she bought a gbb "for me" lol. i love her, shes the perfect girl for me. smart funny cleans up real nice, can keep up witg me on the shooting range, races supermoto with me, helped me build my nissan 350z, and does schutzhund with our dog. lol ima marry her.

 

[Jenthevet]

What Im learning from this thread is: girls wake up earlier than guys

ha ha ha ha ha!

 

[MattInNYC]

Hmmm, so far it sounds to me like this thread is begging for a tarantula keepers dating site.

Well, I'm a guy. I have to say, my interest in all kinds of animals started well before my interest in dating, so it's not something I would just toss aside if someone didn't approve. So far since I've been keeping tarantulas, I've dated one girl who actually really liked the idea of tarantula keeping, yet absolutely hated that I had centipedes. The two after that respected that I was into them, but weren't the kind of people who would keep them themselves, and currently I'm single.

I think when it comes to hobbies and interests in general and dating, I don't necessarily need someone to share my interests, as long as they can appreciate that they're important to me. As in, I'm not going to date someone who's putting them down, asking me when I'm gonna get rid of my stupid tarantulas or telling me I shouldn't buy another lens. I'd have to wonder why someone would even date a person who's interests they don't approve of to begin with.
I've actually had girls pretend to be into what I'm into in the past as well, just because they wanted to date me, then a few months into the relationship I'll find out they hate what I'm into. Girls, please don't do that, I'd much rather be with someone who's honest right from the start.

Something else I've encountered before, which is also frustrating is people who share your interests, or claim to share them, but aren't as into them as I am. For example, I know loads of girls who are into photography, even to the point of referring to themselves as photographers, but then can't actually carry on a conversation about photography of the kind I might have with my other friends. Not saying that's restricted to girls, but I've certainly noticed it more with girls. Bottom line, if I say I'm interested in a given subject, that means I can have long, passionate and/or technical conversations about that subject. So that's what I'd expect from someone else listing the same subject as a major interest. If I have just a passing interest in something, and don't actually know much about it, I'll say so, I'm usually trying to learn as much as I can about anything that sparks my interest though.

Having said all that, I'm all for dating a girl who's actually as into tarantulas as I am, or even moreso, I don't mind at all if someone knows more than me about something I'm really into, then I can learn from them.

Ok, at this point I'm definitely rambling, I've already had two cups of coffee, and I'm switching between browser tabs, so I actually forgot what I was going to say next.

One final point though, this might not be relevant to everyone, but it's relevant to me as an American living in NY. When I go to reptile expos, the majority of the crowd that attends could easily be mistaken for the audience of an Opeth concert. Nothing wrong with that, I'm a big fan of progressive rock and metal, I've seen Opeth 3 times, music is very important to me, I love horror movies and sci-fi/fantasy books... etc. I don't dress to reflect that though, I don't really dress to reflect any kind of subculture or interest, I'm 28 and I'm not in a band, I don't have any tattoos or piercings, I don't have long hair or dyed hair. (including a picture of myself for referenced, kind of old but I don't look much different now other than having a better camera and about another 10lbs that I'm in the process of getting rid of).

Now I'm absolutely not putting that stuff down, I wouldn't mind at all dating a girl with loads of tattoos and piercings, I'm not going to write anyone off based on their appearance. However, in my experience, people who do dress to reflect a certain subculture tend to date other people who do as well. So maybe I'm the one getting written off as probably not having much in common with them, and missing out on potentially great tarantula keeping girlfriend opportunities.
For whatever reason, at least where I live, the average reptile or tarantula keeper tends to look like a metal fan/biker/suicide girl. Is this universal? And with that question I'll put an end to this wall of text.

---------- Post added 12-15-2011 at 08:39 AM ----------

Haha, looking at my post the picture seems to make it a lot harder to take seriously, even to me. Hopefully some people can relate to some of the topics I brought up though.

 

[Sage]

I'm female, 22, and a few months ago my boyfriend proposed to me. He's borderline phobic and I suggested buying him his own sling so he can understand what it's like to care for his own t. Despite his minor fear of giant spiders he bought me a rosehair the other day because of how bad I felt for it and petco wasn't caring for it properly (big surprise there). Point of the story being if a person can't just accept you as you are and get over the ONE hobby of yours they don't understand, they aren't really worth your time.

And the overly fems out there that are all afraid of bugs and spiders JUST BECAUSE they're not kittens (which I adore as much as any other girl btw) then their loss for being so judgemental and closedminded. (Even on the occasions I'd date women, the overly stereotypical girly attitude would steer me away right quick. I guess stupidity like 'omg ew it's a spider' or 'omg like I totally think that's like weird' left me to respond with something along the likes of 'do you even know what you're talking about or are you going to further shame our gender with your uneducated comments?' I'm rambling now but point being I don't think people know enough to back up half what they say or think. Same thing with religion and politics but that's another story..)

Like I said when somebody really worth your time comes along, they'll accept you and your quirks.

 

[groovyspider]

Why is it almost all the gals ok with Ts,scorps,snakes outta the us

 

[darksidemxer]

lmao so now we are settin up a pic/datin thread lol

 

[Amy Beth]

I am a girl and I have had several of my guy friends say they would Never come to my house if "those spiders" are there.

 

[19tarantula91]

Man... I want a chick that likes Tarantulas!! That's like the sexiest thing... EVER! Anybody know a chick like that in Colorado?! Haha

 

[Sage]

I am a girl and I have had several of my guy friends say they would Never come to my house if "those spiders" are there.

That saddens me. How can people accept a snake or a rat if they can't accept a t? If it's behind glass, it's not capable of getting to anybody on the outside.

 

[MattInNYC]

That saddens me. How can people accept a snake or a rat if they can't accept a t? If it's behind glass, it's not capable of getting to anybody on the outside.

I think it goes back to what you said before, it's mostly a lack of education and lack of exposure to these animals. Most people have never seen a tarantula up close before, most people don't know that the majority of them aren't that dangerous. Their exposure to tarantulas comes from horror movies and Halloween.

When I was younger I worked as a docent at the aquarium here, and a lot of that time was spent working at the "touch tank" where people could touch live horseshoe crabs and sea stars. I couldn't even tell you how many people thought horseshoe crabs were dangerous and venomous, and that's an animal we have locally, which you'll see at any beach. So I can't say I'm surprised that the majority of people are apprehensive about tarantulas.

Not to mention the fact that being freaked out by them isn't exactly discouraged either. If someone says "Eww a spider!" people around them are usually more likely to agree than say "You're being ridiculous" or provide any information about why they're nothing to be scared of for example.