A conversation about B.Dubia with my Dad

Do you find B. Dubia disgusting?

  • Yes, Roaches are vile and should not be in a house

    Votes: 2 6.5%
  • I don't like them, but I also don't hate them

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I feel they are practical as a feeder insect. No different from any other insect.

    Votes: 23 74.2%
  • They are pets, very neat, look at 'em go!

    Votes: 6 19.4%

  • Total voters
    31

pent565

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Messages
10
I'm sorry, dad, I just don't understand why you have sutch a strong hatred for my well contained, oudorless, scilent feeder roaches.

"They can't live in our house because they are not from here. Crickets, woodbugs, theyr all local, so I don't hate them."

The feeder crickets we use are NOT local. Yet, they can suvive in our climate. As a feeder roach, B. Dubai may not be local, but they also can't escape and colonise a house.

"They are ROACHES. They are a pest that infests homes."

Roaches are a HUGE classification of animal. Some are nasty, its true. The large, slow moving tropical roaches are DIFFERENT from the pest species that infest homes. Example housecat vs lion

"They are socially unacceptable. Like tarantuals, snakes, etc."

Yes, perhaps this is true. Black people were also socially unacceptable at one time. So were jews, and women wearing pants, and women voting, or working. (note not comparing any social group to roaches here. Just a comment insulting society in general.) Society has a funny way of being irrational. In addition, my tarantula and snakes were not immidiatly thrown out of the house and gassed, because they were a social no-no.

-response to every half logical arguement tht threatened his position-

"I'm getting angry, and I'm going to make you get rid of every animal you own. I don't want to, because I know that if I do you will remember it for the rest of your life and it will affect your view of me and what you say about me to your grandchildren (He actually said this, i'm not making any of this up), but I am willing to risk that because I dont like roaches."

Now, I love my dad. He's a good parent, generally. Reasonable. Which is why I simply DO NOT understand his position! He won't even let my say everything I posted above. That was all what I wanted to say in response to his arguments. Instead, I got out tentatively phrased, often interrupted with "you don't want to make me angry; I kill your animals" And typed this to get rid of the frustration an individual sutch as myself feels when someone is being deliberatly stubborn and won't listen to reason. Srsly, it was like talking to an inernet troller, armed with a banhammer.

Does anyone else feel my pain here? I can't afford to move out yet, I was hoping to save the last 5 i'd rescued from his purges for my new house in a year or so, but he found 'em. Should he be able to search my room at will?
 
Last edited:

TomM

Arachnobaron of Pennsylvania
Old Timer
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
448
It's just the stigma attached to roaches. I called my dubias "tropical feeder beetles" for the first 2 months and nobody cared about them. As soon as I told anyone that they were actually roaches they grimmaced. It's amazing how just the name of an animal can change someone's opinion of it.
 

Travis K

TravIsGinger
Old Timer
Joined
Jan 6, 2007
Messages
2,529
Hmmm, think about it this way.

  • He's your dad
  • He pays the bill
  • He makes the rules
  • It is his house

Frankly you might not like it, but he is neither right nor wrong. If he doesn't want roaches in his house then there shouldn't be roaches in his house. When you are able to get a place of your own you can have just about what ever you want. Right now though you can only have what ever your dad will tolerate. Frustrating to you? YES. Wrong? Not really.

I have spiders and roaches in my basement, some people think it's strange but it's my house and they don't get a say in it.
 

pent565

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Messages
10
Tropical feeder beetles. I wish I'd thought of that. Might have avoided this whole situation. How sad is that? A rose by any other name, and all that.

I do see your point, Travis. Call me new age, though, but I prefer for rules to be based in a level of reason. I do pay the electrical bill as well.

I don't see the point if it has no effect on him whatsoever what I do in my room. I'm 22, and legally an adult. Still, I suppose a landlord wouldn't have been too reasonable over the distinction of roach species. On the other hand, I don't think its acceptable for a landlord to search one's apartment for no reason. (dad was looking for a phone, which wasn't even in my room)

Thats one more reason i'm waiting to buy a house, and not renting.
 

BQC123

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
May 8, 2010
Messages
413
Hmmm, think about it this way.

  • He's your dad
  • He pays the bill
  • He makes the rules
  • It is his house

Frankly you might not like it, but he is neither right nor wrong. If he doesn't want roaches in his house then there shouldn't be roaches in his house. When you are able to get a place of your own you can have just about what ever you want. Right now though you can only have what ever your dad will tolerate. Frustrating to you? YES. Wrong? Not really.

I have spiders and roaches in my basement, some people think it's strange but it's my house and they don't get a say in it.
This 100%.
 

ZephAmp

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
Mar 8, 2008
Messages
530
If your dad doesn't know what dubias look like, you should get them and say they're beetles. He'll never know the difference. :p
 

Pssh

Arachnoknight
Joined
Nov 12, 2010
Messages
197
The babies look like rollie polies. My mom went crazy when I brought up that I was going to buy roaches. She said no, so I waited. Then at a show I bought a few and had her look at them. BAM. She didn't care any more. She said they are lame and look like beetles/pill bugs and she doesn't mind them. Now she will even pick up my giant species (when the occational male somehow finds its way out.)

I think it's because they are really really slow.
 

LeilaNami

Arachnoking
Old Timer
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
2,164
Unfortunately, your dad has rules to follow and follow them you should, despite all anti-roach illogical arguments.

What you can try to do though is put it terms of money. Calculate how much you spend on crickets in a month or year. Now, explain that roaches are a one-time cost for a colony that will last you much more than a year. Money is the language of everyone. {D
 

pent565

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Messages
10
yeah, I've already had them, and he knows perfectly well what they are. He doesn't care about cost, he sprayed pesticide on my expensive colony, I rescued a few nymphs from a tank, which I raised and had three females and two males, just a tiny seed colony, and the discovery of these five animals is what prompted the argument. I was so happy when I found out my male female ratio, it was perfect.

Now they have probably been doused with raid as well. He's never had a problem with my crickets, or my rats, mice, etc. Its just strange how much he hates these.

---------- Post added at 12:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:39 PM ----------

So, what are the odds that they survive contact with pesticide? I just washed off two of the five, they all seem a little drunk, but alive. Its been hours, any chance they could pull through?
 

pent565

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Messages
10
There are a few companies centered in Canada that sell dubias, and stick insects... including a local pet store selling the stick bugs. I'm in NS, not Toronto, so that could be the issue. Ontario has some very strange animal laws. I wasn't allowed to buy a ferret where I lived up there.

This is the first I've heard about anything like that, and I didn't have them imported, I got them from a company that sells them commercially. In Canada. With licensing. I know a number of people around here that have them. We aren't allowed to buy or sell turtles around here, either, but its common knowledge with a loophole. Sell the tank with a free turtle.

I've actually had my house visited by some fish and games guys, because I'd been trying to buy a bullfrog tadpole on a site called Kijiji (apparently you can't do that) And there were no issues with any of my other exotics.
 

BQC123

Arachnobaron
Old Timer
Joined
May 8, 2010
Messages
413
The babies look like rollie polies. My mom went crazy when I brought up that I was going to buy roaches. She said no, so I waited. Then at a show I bought a few and had her look at them. BAM. She didn't care any more. She said they are lame and look like beetles/pill bugs and she doesn't mind them. Now she will even pick up my giant species (when the occational male somehow finds its way out.)

I think it's because they are really really slow.
This can backfire too. I had a stray B.dubia nymph hitchhike into the house, and my wife found it. I admitted my mistake like a man, and said it wouldn't happen again. Unfortunately every pill bug she finds is a roach in her mind. I showed her how to tell the difference, but she won't do it. At least she knows I'm telling the truth since i admitted the first one.
 

pent565

Arachnopeon
Joined
Mar 30, 2011
Messages
10
Ok, I just re-red the link... wow, so a pest species that is currently terrorizing north america is legal, but feeders are not? Well, I don't want anything illegal, I 'spose I'd better make certain they were killed, and if dad didn't actually poison them, i'll use them for their intended purpose. Reptile food.
This seems to me to be another example of society hating something because of what its related too. I ran into the exact same thing with ferrets in Ontario. They won't escape and harm wildlife! They can't breed, because 90% are fixed! (or in the roaches case, winter weather kills them off.)
 

Rob1985

This user has no status.
Old Timer
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
863
if this is the worst convo you've ever or will ever have with your dad, then you're on track for a pretty stress free home life. lol
 

Rue

Arachnoknight
Joined
Feb 24, 2011
Messages
239
I have no sympathy either. Sorry. Not your house. You don't set the rules.

Landlords have rules too...'no pets' includes 'no cockroach colony'.

Time to buy your own place!;)
 

JC

Arachnolort
Old Timer
Joined
Apr 15, 2009
Messages
1,423
lol, my dad is the same, so I sneaked them in a couple of years ago. I managed for about 7 months until he found out. Then I told him they were isopods. Unfortunately he calls isopods roaches too. :? :wall: Then I said they were a type of beetle. He bought it for about 2 months until he made me get rid of most of them. :( Respect your parents wishes it is their house. Looking back, I was super lucky to get away with the animals I brought into the home over the years. Still am somewhat monitored over what I bring home.
 

H. laoticus

Arachnoprince
Old Timer
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Messages
1,017
At least you guys try to have a normal conversation! Once you have your own place, you can let loose your invert addiction, but until then, it's Daddy's house and therefore Daddy's rules :D
 

Lolita

Arachnoknight
Joined
Jan 9, 2011
Messages
185
Ok, I just re-red the link... wow, so a pest species that is currently terrorizing north america is legal, but feeders are not? Well, I don't want anything illegal, I 'spose I'd better make certain they were killed, and if dad didn't actually poison them, i'll use them for their intended purpose. Reptile food.
This seems to me to be another example of society hating something because of what its related too. I ran into the exact same thing with ferrets in Ontario. They won't escape and harm wildlife! They can't breed, because 90% are fixed! (or in the roaches case, winter weather kills them off.)
if they've been sprayed with pesticides DO NOT feed them to ANYTHING you could kill reptiles/inverts by feeding them poisoned insects
 

echostatic

Arachnosquire
Old Timer
Joined
Aug 14, 2007
Messages
129
As others have said, as long as he owns the place and you live there, you're subject to every silly rule he makes. Sneaking pets in is one of the worst things you can do. It betrays trust and is a sign of immaturity. I'm still at home and, Thoth I have much leniency in that I can keep things like roaches, ants etc, I am not allowed to have snakes, spiders or scorpions. Therefore, my collection is lacking snakes, spiders and scorpions. And everyone is happy.
 

Pssh

Arachnoknight
Joined
Nov 12, 2010
Messages
197
I didn't hide them from my mom. I bought them and immediately showed them to her. SHE said they looked like isopods/beetles, not me. :) I think she also gave up since I have so many pets that adding another one/few doesn't usually make a noticeable difference. Plus I make money off the extra bugs and now I pay for everything that my pets need (instead of her paying for some things.)

just bring in an established species then. I mean, the kind that are "from around here" are way better since they thrive outside of a tank, track all kinds of nasty stuff in, are very very very difficult to get rid of, and are ickier looking. Bleh. Those things scare the poop out of me whenever I see them dart around at night in the streets.
 
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