Why I can’t keep Tarantulas or scorpions

Chris LXXIX

ArachnoGod
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
5,845
I disagree. The only way I could consider it even close to right if it was accidental. Keep in mind that it was likely that he knew that it was his son’s escaped pet. That’s like shooting a cat that escaped because they can potentially scratch someone. It would’ve been very easy to alert the person so that they could capture it. I think this was just an attempt to punish.



Yes, we can and should judge in this case because it was just a spiteful thing to do. Unless he accidentally killed it or did it out of a fearful reaction, it is wrong.



This is somewhat false cause here. I don’t disagree with the scenario you state here being more acceptable. The difference is that it is not a centipede with potentially medically significant venom and is obviously the kids pet.
Mine was only an example (the S.subspinipes one) for say that non keepers people (but since forever 24/7 'scared' by sensationalist medias of all kind) reacts very often that way.

Sure, I'm certain that he (his dad) was aware that said spider on the bathroom floor was his son's missing one, but I'm certain as well that I don't know what that man felt in that particular moment, in his mind... fear, or a fast 'impulsive' reaction triggered by a feeling of fear (even only perceived a bit) as we know, leads to those kind of endings in every day life situations (say the scared armed robber prone to open the fire, while a 'pro' criminal may act more collected and 'cold' in the same situation etc).
 
Last edited:

Peggycat

Arachnopeon
Joined
Dec 29, 2018
Messages
0
I disagree. The only way I could consider it even close to right if it was accidental. Keep in mind that it was likely that he knew that it was his son’s escaped pet. That’s like shooting a cat that escaped because they can potentially scratch someone. It would’ve been very easy to alert the person so that they could capture it. I think this was just an attempt to punish.



Yes, we can and should judge in this case because it was just a spiteful thing to do. Unless he accidentally killed it or did it out of a fearful reaction, it is wrong.



This is somewhat false cause here. I don’t disagree with the scenario you state here being more acceptable. The difference is that it is not a centipede with potentially medically significant venom and is obviously the kids pet.
Totally agree. This was a spiteful act, not done out of fear or self protection, but to make a point in an overly dramatic way.

Encountering an unknown species in another country is hardly the same thing as finding an escaped pet in your own home because you are responsible for learning about your own animal (or the pet of your CHILD). He was in no danger and he should have known that (if he'd been responsible enough to learn).

This was a grown man who didn't want to do the bare minimum research and then killed a pet so that he could indulge in righteous indignation.
 

Chris LXXIX

ArachnoGod
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
5,845
Totally agree. This was a spiteful act, not done out of fear or self protection, but to make a point in an overly dramatic way.

Encountering an unknown species in another country is hardly the same thing as finding an escaped pet in your own home because you are responsible for learning about your own animal (or the pet of your CHILD). He was in no danger and he should have known that (if he'd been responsible enough to learn).

This was a grown man who didn't want to do the bare minimum research and then killed a pet so that he could indulge in righteous indignation.
Well, but how you can say - without having doubts about - that his reaction wasn't motivated by a sense of fear?
 

mantisfan101

Arachnoprince
Joined
Dec 26, 2018
Messages
1,755
Didn’t mean to cause such a controversy, just wanted to point this out and create a forum where others could share similar experiences. I know that killing the tarantula could be seen as an over reaction and I still do believe that it was an over reaction but for now I am fully aware of what I did wrong and to be honest when i first started out with this hobby I was pretty stubborn. My mom was really reluctant on getting a tarantula since we’re all used to a more urban life, and my mom was never ok board with me getting a T. Chinese mantids, roly polies, and madagascar hissing cockroaches were ok(the last just barely made it) but the tarantula was something else. The point is, I learned my mistake and I am now more certain than ever for anyother of my pet invertebrates and I always check to make sure all lids are on tight.
 

Peggycat

Arachnopeon
Joined
Dec 29, 2018
Messages
0
Well, but how you can say - without having doubts about - that his reaction wasn't motivated by a sense of fear?
Because remorse would have been the main reaction, not blaming the son and telling him that he can't have another T, which is the reaction described.

And, seriously, who lets a tarantula into the house without at LEAST reading up on them enough to know there has never been a documented case of a T killing a human? (To quote OP: Vinegaroons and whipspiders are okay since neither can climb glass and neither can kill you.)
 

Zevil

Arachnosquire
Joined
Jul 27, 2018
Messages
87
When I was a little 10 year old kid, I was obsessed with jumping spiders. I took their small containers out them in class once, my mathematics teacher took them away from me and stomp on the plastic containers and flatten every single spider, right in front of me and my classmates. He told me to pay attention next time.

Why am I telling this story? Well there are many people in this world who would kill animals to teach a "lesson". I strongly disagree with these people.
 

REEFSPIDER

Arachnobaron
Joined
May 6, 2016
Messages
412
Firsrt of all OP you don't gotta beat yourself up everyone makes mistakes, the mistakes don't define you it is what you take from the situation that makes you a better person. Learn from it. And move forward.

People on this thread have delusions about reality. Seriously how can you guys just ASSUME "his dad was doing it out of spite" you know this how? Because most people would kill a spider in the bathroom in the middle of nite. I've killed arachnids and i keep some nasty ones as pets myself, and for the most part i let things live but everyone gets startled sometimes. MYSELF INCLUDED. And if this t had gotten itself into a situation where it died instead of being killed would you all be saying what bad husbandry the op had? The bottom line is the OP is a kid living under his parents roof, they allowed him to keep this t with stipulations that it was to be kept secure. Unfortunately the t was not kept secure that is the only factual mistake here. Saying dad killed it for some twisted benefit is only assumption. Comparing t's to cats is laughable, considering arachnophobia is a HUGE thing and most people LOVE cats. Moral is don't forget to secure your TARANTULAS.
 

Lil Paws

Arachnosquire
Joined
Sep 18, 2017
Messages
137
Think of it this way - it's better you wait until you have your own place with tarantula-respecting roommates, because if you end up with another tarantula and it escapes again (always a possibility even for experienced keepers) your parents will kill it, too. Arguably, it was not responsible of your folks to let you have a pet they were so afraid of to begin with.

But it is clear they are not comfortable with Ts in their home, and that is okay. Phobias over different kinds of animals are not often logical, but that doesn't make them any less real to the person experiencing them.

It's also okay you left the lid off. That is a very human and easy mistake to make. Escapes happen. It's the nature of these delicate little acrobats.

But it's smart to respect your parents' fear. This is coming from someone who had to move out of her parents at 19, because she hatched cornsnakes in the house against their wishes (haha—I should have moved out much sooner). Luckily, my mom came to woke me up to fetch the escapee hatchling cornsnake. XD
 

Chris LXXIX

ArachnoGod
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
5,845
Firsrt of all OP you don't gotta beat yourself up everyone makes mistakes, the mistakes don't define you it is what you take from the situation that makes you a better person. Learn from it. And move forward.

People on this thread have delusions about reality. Seriously how can you guys just ASSUME "his dad was doing it out of spite" you know this how? Because most people would kill a spider in the bathroom in the middle of nite. I've killed arachnids and i keep some nasty ones as pets myself, and for the most part i let things live but everyone gets startled sometimes. MYSELF INCLUDED. And if this t had gotten itself into a situation where it died instead of being killed would you all be saying what bad husbandry the op had? The bottom line is the OP is a kid living under his parents roof, they allowed him to keep this t with stipulations that it was to be kept secure. Unfortunately the t was not kept secure that is the only factual mistake here. Saying dad killed it for some twisted benefit is only assumption. Comparing t's to cats is laughable, considering arachnophobia is a HUGE thing and most people LOVE cats. Moral is don't forget to secure your TARANTULAS.
I'm happy to see you again, my man :)
 

mantisfan101

Arachnoprince
Joined
Dec 26, 2018
Messages
1,755
Firsrt of all OP you don't gotta beat yourself up everyone makes mistakes, the mistakes don't define you it is what you take from the situation that makes you a better person. Learn from it. And move forward.

People on this thread have delusions about reality. Seriously how can you guys just ASSUME "his dad was doing it out of spite" you know this how? Because most people would kill a spider in the bathroom in the middle of nite. I've killed arachnids and i keep some nasty ones as pets myself, and for the most part i let things live but everyone gets startled sometimes. MYSELF INCLUDED. And if this t had gotten itself into a situation where it died instead of being killed would you all be saying what bad husbandry the op had? The bottom line is the OP is a kid living under his parents roof, they allowed him to keep this t with stipulations that it was to be kept secure. Unfortunately the t was not kept secure that is the only factual mistake here. Saying dad killed it for some twisted benefit is only assumption. Comparing t's to cats is laughable, considering arachnophobia is a HUGE thing and most people LOVE cats. Moral is don't forget to secure your TARANTULAS.
Think of it this way - it's better you wait until you have your own place with tarantula-respecting roommates, because if you end up with another tarantula and it escapes again (always a possibility even for experienced keepers) your parents will kill it, too. Arguably, it was not responsible of your folks to let you have a pet they were so afraid of to begin with.

But it is clear they are not comfortable with Ts in their home, and that is okay. Phobias over different kinds of animals are not often logical, but that doesn't make them any less real to the person experiencing them.

It's also okay you left the lid off. That is a very human and easy mistake to make. Escapes happen. It's the nature of these delicate little acrobats.

But it's smart to respect your parents' fear. This is coming from someone who had to move out of her parents at 19, because she hatched cornsnakes in the house against their wishes (haha—I should have moved out much sooner). Luckily, my mom came to woke me up to fetch the escapee hatchling cornsnake. XD
Hats off to you both. My parents were never really comfortable with having a t and having one loose in the house with that being the only rule just did it. I learned a lot from this and still am. I still regret leaving the lid open but most likely if this had not happened, I would most likely have lost multiple other invertebrates. I learned a lesson in the tarantula hobby in one of the harshest ways possible, but what really matters is how I react and what i do with this lesson. I could just sit their, cry, scream, beg, and pout to get another t or I could learn from my mistake, pick myself up, accept what I did wrong, and move on. I chose the second and am quite glad because I now have more room for other more interesting options that I may hve never noticed if I had done the first one.
 

RezonantVoid

Hollow Knight
Joined
Jan 7, 2018
Messages
1,354
That's really annoying! That's like the 2 best parts of the hobby cut out right there.
But I do have to say that by leaving the lid off, you were pretty much asking for it. The reaction to it was a bit unfair but (I'm sorry, I don't know how to word this without it coming across as just straight out meanness, it's just constructive criticism) that is probably the worst mistake Ive ever read :D
 

mantisfan101

Arachnoprince
Joined
Dec 26, 2018
Messages
1,755
Yeah, I really regret doing it, you could very easily lose your most favorite T right there just by doing it. Thankfully it happened early though and I learned my mistake, if it had happened later on with perhaps another tarantula like an OW or something hat would’ve been a nightmare.
 

RezonantVoid

Hollow Knight
Joined
Jan 7, 2018
Messages
1,354
Yeah, I really regret doing it, you could very easily lose your most favorite T right there just by doing it. Thankfully it happened early though and I learned my mistake, if it had happened later on with perhaps another tarantula like an OW or something hat would’ve been a nightmare.
That's the important thing, learning early on. I can only keep old world's in Australia so I have had to take so much precaution with everything, and once I have had a bolty 5" terrestrial running around my room after a failed attempt at breeding :rofl: next time I tried I put the enclosures in a big tub and thankfully avoided that again.

Hopefully one day soon you can collect them again
 

Lil Paws

Arachnosquire
Joined
Sep 18, 2017
Messages
137
And why? His father did the right thing, and that 'right' thing for him was stomping upon a venomous animal on the loose.

We shouldn't judge - non keepers persons - for that kind of acts/reactions. We shouldn't let our emotions, nor our experience/ability as keepers, enter into this.

I wouldn't judge a (non inverts/arachnids keeper) man that, in Vietnam or in Thailand, crush with his boots a S.subspinipes that one day he may found in his bathroom. Why? Because I know how powerful that venom is, and because I (as a keeper) knows that non inverts related persons, doesn't bother nor know how to "catch cup and release" whatever crawls around them.

The dead Theraphosidae happened only because the OP was not careful/focused enough during maintenance/keeping. But he learned a lesson: to check always the lid/openings.

I don't want to bash a 13 years old guy (I had 13 years as well, 27 years ago, and I've did my crap as well) just stating facts.
Naw, sorry... I'm all for being open-minded and respectful of others fears, but the right thing would have have been for the dad to stick with a firm no given he didn't have the self control to keep himself from killing it.

If you can't help your kid care for a certain kind of pet (or at least prevent yourself from having a freakout and killing it), you probably shouldn't let them have it to begin with. This is no attack on the kid—but kids...even older mature ones....need us adults to be...well...adults.

Seriously, if a parent is *that* afraid of an animal, they need honest with themselves about it. Otherwise, it's very unfair to everyone—*especially* the animal. This goes not just for parents, but spouses and other people who live with a tarantula/venomous-animal owner.
 

Olan

Arachnoangel
Old Timer
Joined
Dec 23, 2002
Messages
857
Yeah, I feel like an adult should be an adult. Grow up guy, it’s a creature 1/1000 your size (without significant venom). Even if it’s a Brazilian wandering spider, maybe you can control your animal urges to murder it.:bored:
 

SteveIDDQD

Arachnosquire
Joined
Dec 4, 2018
Messages
71
Got to say, unless it was an automatic scared reaction from your dad it was very cruel to both you and more importantly the spider to do what he did, and it shouldn't be defended. Even if he was startled by it, he knows you had a pet loose in the house, and should have at least been able to show restraint and compassion for the creature he was about to kill.
I think the only real issue here is your parents severe lack of knowledge and understanding of tarantulas, which unfortunately for you, means they aren't suitable to have them under their roof.
Wait until you have your own place and get yourself a T, and don't leave the lids open!
 

FrmDaLeftCoast

Arachnosquire
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
141
My parents never allowed me to watch horror movies or have a "fade" haircut. Thanks to my folks I'm a horror film junkie and constantly keep a shaved head.

So I expect you to become some sort of Tarantula YouTube Superstar!!!
 

MikeofBorg

Arachnosquire
Joined
Dec 12, 2017
Messages
91
On my 13th birthday, I got my first and only T- an A. Seemani at petco. It was a juvenile, about 2 inch legspan, and I named him Schroeder. He molted a few weeks later and one week, during the end of July, I decided to leave the lid on his enclosure open because the substrate was really damp and wet for some wierd reason. We went out to dinner that night and halfway during the meal I realized- I left the lid open. I had to endure and hour of keeping a straight face after that and as soon as I got home, I checked his enclosure and sure enough he was missing. My parents found out soon enough and searched the whole house to no avail. They were absolutely furious at me and that was literally the only policy that they had about keeping the tarantula(that and that it couldn’t kill anyone). Surprise surprise, my dad decided to go use the bathroom and 11 pm at night and guess who he found staring at him on the floor? The result was a dead tarantula and a strict “no more tarantuls or scorpioms ever again.” Vinegaroons and whipspiders are okay since neither can climb glass and neither can kill you. All other insects are okay as long as they were legally obtained so yeah. Now I’m focusing on collecting native species of mantids(Texas and arizona unicorns), Amblypygids, vinnies, ant colonies, madascar hissing cockroaches, millipedes, native giant silk moths, native beetles(lucanus anyone?), and various other inverts. I have kept some larger wolf spiders from time to time but my mom quickly put an end to that so I collect them as feeders for my ant colonies. As disappointed as I am, it was only right of them to do so. I respect them and come to think of it, owninf a tarantula at 13 years of age does seem rather far fetched. What other stories do you guys have?
That sucks, sorry to hear that. Aphonopelma seemanni are known escape artists. Sorry it didn’t make it back to the enclosure.
 

EtienneN

Arachno-enigma
Joined
Jul 15, 2017
Messages
1,038
My father has said that if one of my spiders touched him he would be liable to swat it out of a purely knee-jerk reaction, but if the tarantula wasn’t actually on him he’d call me to come get it. Arachnophobia is an irrational fear. Don’t attribute to malice what can be attributed to stupidity or in probably this case ignorance.
 

thebronzedragon

Arachnosquire
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
61
What other stories do you guys have?
I am fifteen and just recently started keeping inverts, my first was a scorpion (H. spinifer) and one day after feeding it I accidentally left the lid off. I have a small plastic tree that was just long enough for my scorpion to climb on and out of its enclosure. The next day I walked in to check/admire it and it was gone. I told my dad who had to leave for work in 5 minutes what had happened and he immediately called his work to tell them he would be a bit late. We searched for about an hour and did a lot of research on where the scorpion would most likely go, when he finally had to leave. I checked periodically in that room until eventually I found it in a small hole where I gently prodded it out and placed it back in its enclosure. My dad was very helpful in this situation but I think that's mostly because I tell him constantly that the sting is not very potent and he knew that it would kill me not to be able to keep these animals (I'm a bit obsessed and constantly research animals). It's now five months later and I now own:2 H. spinifers (1 adult, 1 baby), 1 H. arizonensis, 1 A. avicularia and an african fat tailed gecko.

nobody wants to wake up in the middle of the night and see a big spider greeting them in the bathroom.
I, for one, would LOVE to find a giant spider waiting for me in my bathroom :)
 
Top