T keeper “isolation” ?

[Urzeitmensch]

The reaction of others to this hobby tells a lot about the human mind and the importance people put on socialy established behaviour. I am a rational man but still would be automatically taken aback if people show uncommon behaviour (e.g. wearing animal costumes in public) even if I later reflect on it being without harm to anyone.

There is also the human tendency to judge or - for some -even hate things that are different from what they know and understand despite them having no effect on their lives. Why do some hate homosexual people? Others sexual orientation affects their life in no way whatsoever. Still they hate without any reason.

What makes T-keeping especially difficult to accept is a combination of its rarity, the disgust most people have regarding spiders and a hazy knowledge that Ts are venomous. Combine this with the above mentioned human behavior and you have a recipe for rejection.

This should not discourage anyone, though. Most people I tell about my hobby are either confused but ultimately indifferent or have the classical irrational it-is-gross thing. As I generally don't give a spiders poop about others opinions on how I spent my free time, this is ok for me.

I do not bother people I know won't care or be uncomfortable with the hobby, no more than I would force a monologe about my passion for World if Warships on them.

Like with every hobby I only talk about it if I think my conversation partner is interested or if their is a compelling reason to. And I won't talk about it if it only brings disadvantages.

 

[Teal]

I have never wanted or needed approval for my passions or lifestyle. I have a lot of issues, but self confidence is not one of them. I live my life by what makes me happy, with certain accomodations/compromises for the handful of people I value close relationships with.

 

[MintyWood826]

I am isolated because of my personality, so I'm really thankful for Arachnoboards. I have found some people who were a little interested, but I haven't ever really gotten into a meaningful (whatever would count as that) conversation. But I did find a "kill it with fire" person before I even started keeping.

 

[KNV]

Luckily, I have a best friend who loves spiders as much as I do. We talk spiders all the time. He prefers jumping spiders and I like tarantulas. Another plus is that a coworker was really interested in them. I got to chat about my Ts and how I care for them. But other family and friends are not as supportive.

 

[weibkreux]

My workmates are still afraid of my Ts, but I got some to join the hobby by giving out some of the slings I bred. Guiding them how to take care of it of course.

 

[Zevil]

My family doesn't care. I have kept jumping spiders and orb weavers when I was a kid. They are kinda like, oh tarantulas are just bigger spiders and went about their daily life.

Most of my friends aren't interested but they don't express disgust either. Luckily I have no friends who wants my tarantulas dead. A few of my friends are curious when I post pictures and feeding videos in my social media.

My colleagues don't really care. Most of them are disgusted.

 

[Urzeitmensch]

My workmates are still afraid of my Ts, but I got some to join the hobby by giving out some of the slings I bred. Guiding them how to take care of it of course.

Ah, freebies. That is genius!

Can work like a charm, especially with food:
"What u eating, son?"
"It's Kebap, grandpa."
" Bah! Don't need no foreign-ish stuff! Can't know what they put in, eh?"
"I brought you one, too."
"Oh? Ah well, meat's meat, isn't it? Smells decent, too. Let me taste this, will you? *CHOMP* *CHOMP*

 

[weibkreux]

Ah, freebies. That is genius!

Hard to say no if its free right?
I also kept saying to them that spiders are not to be feared, because they are just highly misunderstood. They're venomous but not deadly, unless you got allergy to their venom of course. Blame the media for their evil portrayal.

 

[Rhino1]

In some ways I'm already used to it due to certain lifestyle choices, when I bred elapids and pythons I had a guy that wouldn't come in my house simply because he didn't like snakes, I personally think a lot of ppl will over do reactions for attention, I looked at him blankly and said nothing, gave him a chair and glass of water and locked the door while his friends came inside, next time he came straight in and sat on the couch and never mentioned anything about it.

Then for some bizarre reason my mother in law thinks all my inverts are funnel webs and she goes on and on about it everytime she comes here, ugh it's all "what about the children!". I just switch my brain off because I tend to take every little thing to heart.
Then I've received abuse and death threats for producing and harvesting my own meat, (I grew up in the industry and refuse to support it).
Some people have these ideas in their head and you just can't reason with stupid, I don't force my opinions on other people and in turn I don't ask about theirs (unless I need to build rapport for whatever reason, usually work).
You just can't let people's opinions affect the things that you enjoy or believe in, don't ever miss out on what you like doing, you only live once.

 

[Ungoliant]

Anyone else have a frequent urge to gush over and/or info dumb about your tarantulas but then realize it’s useless because you know you’ll get the “eww” ...”kill it with fire!” Etc. reactions? It hurts just a little lol

That's what this site is for.

 

[SonsofArachne]

I've never told my co-workers as I have trouble covering my disdain for uninformed opinions, but if it somehow came up I wouldn't shy away from it either. my family/friends tend between mild interest and indifference, although my niece recently said she's looking forward to seeing my collection when she visits.

 

[Jim Cricket]

I enjoy the hobby but every negative outside stimuli/opinion just bears down on me.

Sadly every decision we make in life will have some positive and negative opinions. Surround yourself with positive people, ignore the others.

 

[Predacons5]

In a way it is isolating if tarantulas are your only hobby. Tarantulas are only 1 of my hobbies. I can switch the conversation up according to the audience.

I also tend to not care about what the other people think. They can say "Ewww!", "Why?", "Kill it", "Crush them!", "Step on them!" all they want - I simply don't give a hoot. I just show them why I love them. I also tell them I like cats and dogs too, but I just don't have any now (which is the truth, by the way, it's not a lie). In the end, I always get respect even if they still don't like spiders - which is fine by me.

Different people are into different things. Essentially Forrest Gump is right, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." You don't gain anything by shutting down or hiding 1 part of your life to appease others.

 

[velvetundergrowth]

@Urzeitmensch
Spiders and Gay people actually have a lot in common... Usually attractive or colorful, harmless for the most part but viciously hated by many, not so bad once you get up close but too many of us can be annoying XD

 

[cold blood]

Literally did this yesterday at my job LOL my life is only animals so thats all i talk about and it is really a hassle making friends for me but who needs em right?

Yiur animal are yiur friends! My only friends way back where my tarantulas and the cochroaches living under my sink!

My best friends arent people...lol....dogs are way more loyal. I understand them better than most humans, too...haha

Boxer

• cold blood
• Mar 19, 2018
• 4

I have never wanted or needed approval for my passions or lifestyle. I have a lot of issues, but self confidence is not one of them. I live my life by what makes me happy, with certain accomodations/compromises for the handful of people I value close relationships with.

I completely agree...my hobbies and passions are for me, what others think is irrelevant. Srew everyone, im going fishing!

Pine

• cold blood
• Jul 25, 2016
• 5

isolated because of my personality,

Do you hate people, too?

a way it is isolating if tarantulas are your only hobby. Tarantulas

I love me some good quality isolation from dirty, mostly disrespectful humans.

 

[Vanisher]

My best friends arent people...lol....dogs are way more loyal. I understand them better than most humans, too...haha

Boxer

• cold blood
• Mar 19, 2018
• 4

I completely agree...my hobbies and passions are for me, what others think is irrelevant. Srew everyone, im going fishing!

Pine

• cold blood
• Jul 25, 2016
• 5

Do you hate people, too?



I love me some good quality isolation from dirty, mostly disrespectful humans.

Nice Bass there! Is it smallmouth or large mouth? Or maybe its a bluegill?
Fishing is my favourit hobby too! Nowdays there are not as much for that unfortunatly! But i still fish as often as i can. Mistly for pike, perch and trout!

 

[Predacons5]

...im going fishing!

Pine

• cold blood
• Jul 25, 2016
• 5

Nice fish. Don't know anything about fishing, but it looks like a good catch.

Do you hate people, too?

I know it wasn't directed at me, but if I were brutally honest - sometimes this applies. Especially working in the healthcare field, the disrespect can sometimes be through the roof.

I love me some good quality isolation from dirty, mostly disrespectful humans.

For those days that dealing with people becomes extremely intolerable, some good quality isolation feels incredible.

 

[Teal]

My best friends arent people...lol....dogs are way more loyal. I understand them better than most humans, too...haha

Truth! That is a gorgeous Boxer you have there! White Boxers have been excluded from the show ring and registered breedings for quite some time because it was believed that they carried more risk of deafness (which makes a certain sense, as this is true in several breeds)... But recent research has been working to disprove that fallacy, and in Germany (I think?) white Boxers are being included in the show ring! Hopefully that makes its way to America. A good friend of mine breeds Boxers and I almost got a puppy from her a few years ago... a stunning white male, easily the best puppy in the litter. But I prefer Boxers with tails and she docked the litter

I completely agree...my hobbies and passions are for me, what others think is irrelevant. Srew everyone, im going fishing!

Exactly!! I've been antsy to go fishing now that it is warming up here!

 

[MasterOogway]

The isolation from being an invert fan is a story as old as biology I pinned this quote up in my Insect Zoo because it's nice to know that even the most distinguished biologists in history have suffered from the same fate:

 

[cold blood]

Nice Bass there! Is it smallmouth or large mouth? Or maybe its a bluegill?
Fishing is my favourit hobby too! Nowdays there are not as much for that unfortunatly! But i still fish as often as i can. Mistly for pike, perch and trout!

Thats a smallmouth...the 2 in my avatar are largemouth. I live on the shores of the great lakes, so perch and trout are right there...pike are everywhere.

Its sad what happened to Europes once spectacular pike fisheries...here in the states there was a big movement toward catch and release, and selective harvest...results are that fishing across the country is better than its been in decades....my state has some 18,000 bodies of water, all pretty much teeming with fish.

All fish pictured were subsequently released.

White Boxers have been excluded from the show ring and registered breedings for quite some time because it was believed that they carried more risk of deafness (which makes a certain sense, as this is true in several breeds)...

Yeah, you are just starting to see them in the last decade or so. People are always surprised when I explain the reason you don't see them very often.

Thanks for the kind words, shes a great dog...i do really enjoy boxers.