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Stop joking about killing my pets!

Discussion in 'Tarantula Chat' started by Asgiliath, Oct 12, 2019 at 6:09 PM.

  1. Asgiliath

    Asgiliath Arachnoknight Active Member

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    This is a constant from my dad! He always jokes about stepping on them, setting them on fire etc.

    Was thinking about this today because we were having lunch with a couple of my cousins and my dad mentioned my hobby. My cousin asked “oh, I heard you have a few?” I told her that I have more than a few lol and my dad immediately went “stupid!” “I’m gonna go stomp them.” (He was signing and I was typing with my cousins who don’t know ASL...they didn’t understand what he said.)

    I’m not 100% sober so this is disjointed but yeah, it’s tiring to have this kind of thing from my dad all of the time.

    Most other people give me a “good for you but NOPE!” Type of response but I’m honestly just a tiny bit offended by the “just kill them” attitude.
     
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  2. The Snark

    The Snark هرج و مرج مهندس Old Timer

    Comments of that nature, killing et al, display ignorance of the subject being derided and a lack of respect towards you. Ask yourself honestly; can you correct either issue? You could simply state this honestly and unemotionally and that you wish those comments to end. If they don't, your dad is acting childish, playing games, and there isn't much you can do about it.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  3. Asgiliath

    Asgiliath Arachnoknight Active Member

    It’s a bummer because my dad is a really cool open minded dude. He just doesn’t get why that might be upsetting. Probably because I laugh it off...which is my fault.
     
  4. chanda

    chanda Arachnoprince Active Member

    My mom does the same thing. She's always offering to stomp on my spiders for me. I know she doesn't mean it - she just thinks she's being funny. She'd never really do it, though. It is frustrating - but I just figure I have to accept who she is because I love her - just like she accepts me and my siblings for who we are, even if our choices aren't necessarily hers. Although she does offer to stomp spiders (or other bugs), she has been known to send me pictures of various bugs for identification - and even to send me bugs themselves to add to my collection.
     
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  5. Asgiliath

    Asgiliath Arachnoknight Active Member

    Ugh :/

    My mom is actually the supportive one! She took 10 of my spiders when I evacuated for a hurricane (I hid my slings in a shoe box and took them to the hotel). My dad had us keep them in the garage though.
     
  6. I try to put it in perspective for people. Like “how would you feel if someone said that theyd stomp your dog or cat n set it on fire?” Like its a living animal. Nothing should be treated like that. Its still a pet. Some people outside of the hobby seem to not be able to understand that. Even if you think its gross at least have some respect for its life
     
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  7. The Snark

    The Snark هرج و مرج مهندس Old Timer

    Not relevant.
    He knows, very well. He's looking to get a reaction from you. You two have obviously been playing this ping pong tournament for a long time. SIGH. I deal with such people often. If I really want to deal with this game I jump shift. Uncharacteristically I move right up into the persons face and in a very cold matter of fact voice say something to the effect of "Hey. Shut it down. I don't want to hear that again. You read me here? DONE. OVER." I reserve that voice, manner and mien, specifically for when I want someone to stop doing something.
    Got a communication barrier, use the most effective to the point method available.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  8. SonsofArachne

    SonsofArachne Arachnoangel Active Member

    This reminds me of when I was keeping snakes. When certain people found out I liked snakes they'd start telling me stories of the snakes they had killed, like for some reason I would want hear about that. I usually signaled my displeasure by turning and walking away mid story. And if I was friendly with that person before they would notice a coldness in any conversation I had with them after.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2019 at 4:10 PM
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  9. The Snark

    The Snark هرج و مرج مهندس Old Timer

    (In my best suthern drawl) Son, one summer I done killed over 50 rattlers! I kicked their butts!

    Sigh again. In my memory a very sad time. Running a pack train and a rattler is next to the trail with 15 or 20 spooked horses wondering where that buzz is coming from, there was a reason I was always packing a gun. But the worst problem was of course, caused by humans. Feed box at the end of the hitching rail. Mice spent the winter chewing into it for the left over grain. The rattlers made a nest under the feed box only a few feet from where we tacked the horses. 2 rattlers made their way into a cabin once. Another time next to the evening campfire only carrying a knife I planted my boot on one and started yelling for everyone to get clear. It was definitely not a live and let live situation. 99 times out of 100 it's humans that are the cause. If we hadn't been in their environment... If we hadn't been reckless irresponsible invaders of habitats...
     
  10. SonsofArachne

    SonsofArachne Arachnoangel Active Member

    Not that I condone killing venomous snakes, but I live in NE Ohio where venomous are almost nonexistent (a few areas have eastern massasauga rattlesnakes, very rare though) so these fools were talking about killing harmless species. But my reaction would have been the same if they were talking venomous
     
  11. The Snark

    The Snark هرج و مرج مهندس Old Timer

    Let's just hope some common sense and acting responsibly as stewards on this rock seeps in before we run out of natures lessons in cohabitation.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. basin79

    basin79 Arachnoemperor Active Member

    It reads to me like your dad only says it because he knows he'll get a reaction from you. Like another dad might say to their shy kid who's going out "going to meet your boy/girlfriend" knowing they'll get back "daaaaaaaaaaad I don't have 1, stop it".
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Asgiliath

    Asgiliath Arachnoknight Active Member

    Yeah, I think so too. Still hurts my feelings just a little.
     
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  14. basin79

    basin79 Arachnoemperor Active Member

    That's completely understandable. It used to really make me angry when I was younger. But you realise 1) They absolutely DON'T want to do it and 2) They're looking for a rise.

    There is a massive hypocrisy to it all though no matter. You wouldn't get a parent stating they where going to stamp on a dog/cat/rabbit/hamster etcetera for a laugh.
     
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  15. Lokee85

    Lokee85 Arachnoknight Active Member

    My sister has a real issue with arachnophobia, which I totally get because I was there myself years ago before research and exposure helped me.

    Well, my kids aren't raised to be afraid of spiders like her and some of my other siblings do, and they each have two Ts of their own. My kids absolutely adore their Ts, always coming in the room to look at them, asking questions about when they molted last/when they're gonna molt next, wanting to help feed them, etc.

    When they got them, they were so excited and telling everyone about them. Well, my sister got real ugly about it and told my kids (7 and 9 at the time) that she doesn't care about their spiders and if she ever sees them, she'll kill them. My kids were kinda shocked and told her we keep them in enclosures and don't take them out so its perfectly safe, but she proceeded to tell them that she'd smash them, enclosure and all. Obviously this upset them, and when they got home, they told me what she had said.

    Next time we saw her, she started up again about smashing our spiders, and I pulled her aside and told her that she was really hurting my kids' feelings by threatening to kill their pets, and I asked her how she would feel if I started telling her daughter that if I ever saw her new bunny that she had just gotten for her birthday, I was gonna stomp it to death. "How would that make her feel? How would that make you feel?" and I told her to stop saying it to my kids.

    She hasn't said it since, and out of respect for that, we tend to keep spider talk to a minimum with her unless its relevant to the conversation ("No, J, I'm not gonna kill it, I'll just move it. Well, because spiders aren't bad, no matter how scared you are of them. Its not trying to attack you, so calm down and I'll get it outside.") Yeah, I'm the designated spider wrangler of the family now, too, even though I'm 'gross' for keeping them. :rolleyes:
     
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  16. Chris LXXIX

    Chris LXXIX ArachnoGod Active Member

    It's your father, he loves you. It's ok. Let him joke about that.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. viper69

    viper69 ArachnoGod Old Timer

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    Another person reporting this, amazing, literally amazing :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
     
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