Spouse/Partner Success Stories

JoP

Arachnosquire
Joined
Aug 26, 2017
Messages
102
For those here with significant others, I thought it might be fun to start a thread about how you got your partner on board with your T-keeping hobby. I know plenty of you probably have spouses/partners who love Ts just as much as you do, but for those who had to do some convincing, I'd love to hear your story!

In my case, my now-wife (then-girlfriend) started off as a hard no on the whole invert-keeping thing. I've always loved inverts, and I used to keep quite a few as a child, but I also understood her discomfort with the idea and made a point to respect that, so I didn't keep any for the first half of our relationship. Instead, I would just try to share little facts here and there about inverts, show her any that I found in the house before releasing them, and show her some of my macro photography to help build her interest. Eventually, I floated the idea of keeping a praying mantis as a pet, and she was OK with that, so that's where I started. She was actually pretty surprised by how much she enjoyed watching the mantis feed, grow, and interact with its environment, which really opened the door for expanding my collection. So over the next year or so, I expanded my collection to include more mantids, then jumping spiders, and then true spiders and scorpions, but she still wasn't happy with the idea of keeping Ts, largely because she was terrified of them. Since her stance on Ts was mainly fear-based, I decided to try and help reduce that fear by teaching her facts about Ts, which helped a ton, and eventually got me the "green-light" to get a tiny little dwarf sling (aka the least threatening T I could think of). Fast forward to now, and I have multiple Ts, all of which have received her stamp of approval. So I have to give my awesome wife some major credit for going from "no keeping bugs in the house, especially spiders" to now being totally supportive of my passion for keeping inverts, including Ts. She even got me a T as a wedding anniversary gift this year, which is huge considering how afraid of them she used to be. If that's not true love, I don't know what is!
 

Theneil

Arachnoprince
Joined
Oct 18, 2017
Messages
1,292
Lucky for me, my girlfriend didn't put up much of a fight. LOL. i always said that when i buy a house i am getting a tarantula. Well i bought a house and a few months later we were at one of the petstores and they had a "Pink toe tarantula" and she said i should get it (pink is my favorite color so it was like a sign LOL). So i got the spider. Google searched what else i needed so i got a big old exotera, a waterdish, the obligatory sponge for the waterdish, some really chunky substrate, and maybe even a heat mat. Then the next day i started doing more research and discovered i did EVERYTHING wrong. :banghead:

Having the spider didn't bother my gitlfriend as much as she thought it would so a month or two later at the local expo i got couple more, then craigslist some more, then ordering online, and now she helps find them on facebook. Most of the Ts don't bug her at all anymore and she gets her cats, dogs,and snakes so it works out for everybody. LOL
 

Minty

@londontarantulas
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
488
I text my wife and told her I was going to buy a tarantula.

She was only curious about how much it was going to cost.

When the Chromatopelma cyanepubescens (my first tarantula) arrived, she was wary and little bit frightened of it. Fast forward a to now, she got used to it, realised it isn't going to escape in the night and eat everyone and is happy to feed them. She picked three species for herself at BTS expo 2018. It helps that she was a fellow animal lover too.
 

UniqueUserName

Arachnopeon
Joined
Sep 19, 2018
Messages
25
I bought my first T without asking “permission” from my husband. I just did what I wanted to do. I told him I was getting another one a few weeks ago and he says “do we really need two spiders?”. I replied with “don’t you have two aquariums?”. Problem solved! I understand having to get your partner on board if they are uncomfortable. Fortunately for me, my husband doesn’t have any issues with tarantula’s.
 

antinous

Pamphopharaoh
Old Timer
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
1,668
After having to leave early from SA due to getting mugged and being sad about not being able to travel around much (was planning on trying to find as many Pamphobeteus sp. in the wild), my gf got me back in the hobby by buying me a couple Pamphobeteus species. She's not exactly infatuated with them, she just puts up with them since she knows I like them. That and she's slowly getting over her fear of them which is great!
 

JoP

Arachnosquire
Joined
Aug 26, 2017
Messages
102
After having to leave early from SA due to getting mugged and being sad about not being able to travel around much (was planning on trying to find as many Pamphobeteus sp. in the wild), my gf got me back in the hobby by buying me a couple Pamphobeteus species. She's not exactly infatuated with them, she just puts up with them since she knows I like them. That and she's slowly getting over her fear of them which is great!
Well, as much as getting mugged and having to leave early sounds like a terrible trip, I'd say it still worked out fairly well in the end!
 

Teal

Arachnoemperor
Old Timer
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
4,096
One of my partners has been in the hobby for as long as I have... it is how we met :)

My other partner was a hardcore arachnophobic... would kill any on sight, couldn't stand to even see photos, etc. It took some time for them to adjust to the idea that I was in the hobby - the tarantulas being contained help ease their worries to start with. When we moved in together, the tarantulas were in an area they could easily avoid. But slooowly... they became curious about their care and habits. Fast forward to almost 4 years later, and they have added their own picks of tarantulas to our enclosure, have basically taken over feeding/watering, etc! I am so proud of them for overcoming their fear... I never pushed for them to *like* the spiders - I just wanted them to reach a level of comfort about them being in the home and to be able to not kill any wild spiders they came across. Jumping fully into the hobby as they have was an unexpected but very welcome surprise!
 

Minty

@londontarantulas
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
488
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My wife took my dead P miranda to her work for the kids to see. She takes the moults there for them too, now all the kids are interested in spiders. I thought it was pretty cool.
 

antinous

Pamphopharaoh
Old Timer
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
1,668
View attachment 294456

My wife took my dead P miranda to her work for the kids to see. She takes the moults there for them too, now all the kids are interested in spiders. I thought it was pretty cool.
Sounds like you picked the perfect person to marry! not sure she picked the right one though, since you are a whiskey drinker...jkjk
 

Minty

@londontarantulas
Joined
Feb 2, 2018
Messages
488
Sounds like you picked the perfect person to marry! not sure she picked the right one though, since you are a whiskey drinker...jkjk
Hahaha... I stopped drinking two years ago, my friend. :)
 

darkness975

Latrodectus
Arachnosupporter +
Joined
Aug 31, 2012
Messages
5,610
Hahaha... I stopped drinking two years ago, my friend.
I need to do this. I already cut way back from my younger days (not all that long ago) but it would be nice to go all the way.

Regarding the OP topic, I already had my current collection when we started dating and she already knows I want more invertebrates and she also wants some other animals too so it's a win win.

I count myself lucky.
 

Enrgy

Arachnosquire
Joined
Mar 16, 2018
Messages
135
I'm 16 so I have a pretty long time to get where u guys are lol but I really enjoy reading these :) I'm not quite ready to share with others (girls specifically lol) that I have t's but everyone who knows me, knows I love animals, so maybe one of these days :)
 

Mirandarachnid

Arachnobaron
Joined
Nov 11, 2017
Messages
532
I had gotten my first sling about a week or two before I started dating my fiance. I ended up going on a two week trip with my family a few days after we were "official", and brought the sling to his house to care for.

He did great with it, and when I got back in town the sling stayed in his apartment and I started slowly moving in :rofl:

The idea of multiple tarantulas was.. not off-putting to him, but he didn't quite get it. He gets it now though :D
 
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