Sykomp
Arachnopeon
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2018
- Messages
- 10
I'd just like to add, that the "fear of the unknown", "learned fear" and something I tend to call "difficult phobia" (because that's easier to differentiate from just "fear") can be vastly different things, even though most seem to be described as phobias when commonly speaking. I guess most of the time when you meet people who fear spiders - it's either the fear of the unknown or learned fear that's speaking there, in which cases usually education and continuous exposure with slowly increasing dosage works wonders.
This is probably going to be a long rant but oh well. The thing is... of one really has a phobia and it's on the difficult level, they can know everything about the subject they fear, understand it's completely stupid to fear it, yet still get even a genuine panic attack from having to come contact with the thing causing it, without having any control over themselves or their reactions. It can be clowns, it can be heights, spiders, cats - basically anything.
Anyway... I care about this, as it's just like how the fear of spiders seems really absurd if you know they are harmless, people don't really understand a genuine, difficult phobia. I'm always annoyed to see how some people think it's okay to mess around if someone fears something. I can see nothing funny for example in locking someone in a room with a snake if they are terribly afraid of them, that's just being a dick and can have so many bad results, most likely the one panicking will hurt someone or at least their fear will get even worse.
It's not a "funny reaction", it's someone being scared for their life, even if it seems absurd - difficult phobias are not controlled or chosen, and can make one's life significantly harder. Why would anyone even want that for themselves?
And yes, it's indeed a personal thing for me. I have several phobias, but only few of them are on such levels that it's really difficult to handle... I fear certain type of insects (I won't say what, because this is the internet and I really don't need people spamming me with pictures of them) and I know a quite a lot about them and how they are completely harmless, yet if I see even drawn image of them I have this immediate "fight for your life" reaction, my pulse skyrockets even before it fully hits my consciousness what I am seeing. I have no control over it, it's like it's straight from my primal instincts, "lizard brains" acting up so to speak.
For example many years ago my "friend" found a picture of them from one book and thought it was a funny thing to chase me into a corner with it. He got terribly mad when I was basically having a full panic attack and screamed I would murder him if he came any closer with it - and the reality is I would have attacked him without any control over myself if the image hadn't been between us. Really "funny" if he had decided to push the book even closer and I would have broken his nose in my panic or something. For me that situation was about fighting for my life, even if it is completely illogical.
It's not the only time I've been in those kinds of situations, either. Suddenly stops being "funny" when the situation escalates far enough... and it hasn't made it any easier to fight against that phobia.
But that's the thing with "difficult phobias", it's not about thinking, education, fear of the unknown, or even about logic.
If someone fears spiders, I've found it's easiest to just talk with them about it. It's usually pretty simple to figure out do they have the fear because they don't know enough, or because they have learned it, and are they open to change their perceptions. And if it's on levels they can't get near the T's or even see them... it's usually a lot better to let them approach the whole situation on their own terms anyway.
This is probably going to be a long rant but oh well. The thing is... of one really has a phobia and it's on the difficult level, they can know everything about the subject they fear, understand it's completely stupid to fear it, yet still get even a genuine panic attack from having to come contact with the thing causing it, without having any control over themselves or their reactions. It can be clowns, it can be heights, spiders, cats - basically anything.
Anyway... I care about this, as it's just like how the fear of spiders seems really absurd if you know they are harmless, people don't really understand a genuine, difficult phobia. I'm always annoyed to see how some people think it's okay to mess around if someone fears something. I can see nothing funny for example in locking someone in a room with a snake if they are terribly afraid of them, that's just being a dick and can have so many bad results, most likely the one panicking will hurt someone or at least their fear will get even worse.
It's not a "funny reaction", it's someone being scared for their life, even if it seems absurd - difficult phobias are not controlled or chosen, and can make one's life significantly harder. Why would anyone even want that for themselves?
And yes, it's indeed a personal thing for me. I have several phobias, but only few of them are on such levels that it's really difficult to handle... I fear certain type of insects (I won't say what, because this is the internet and I really don't need people spamming me with pictures of them) and I know a quite a lot about them and how they are completely harmless, yet if I see even drawn image of them I have this immediate "fight for your life" reaction, my pulse skyrockets even before it fully hits my consciousness what I am seeing. I have no control over it, it's like it's straight from my primal instincts, "lizard brains" acting up so to speak.
For example many years ago my "friend" found a picture of them from one book and thought it was a funny thing to chase me into a corner with it. He got terribly mad when I was basically having a full panic attack and screamed I would murder him if he came any closer with it - and the reality is I would have attacked him without any control over myself if the image hadn't been between us. Really "funny" if he had decided to push the book even closer and I would have broken his nose in my panic or something. For me that situation was about fighting for my life, even if it is completely illogical.
It's not the only time I've been in those kinds of situations, either. Suddenly stops being "funny" when the situation escalates far enough... and it hasn't made it any easier to fight against that phobia.
But that's the thing with "difficult phobias", it's not about thinking, education, fear of the unknown, or even about logic.
If someone fears spiders, I've found it's easiest to just talk with them about it. It's usually pretty simple to figure out do they have the fear because they don't know enough, or because they have learned it, and are they open to change their perceptions. And if it's on levels they can't get near the T's or even see them... it's usually a lot better to let them approach the whole situation on their own terms anyway.
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