convincing stubborn parents

[Dennis Nedry]

Anybody got any advice on convincing stubborn parents on buying venomous inverts? I've got my eyes set on a bull ant queen this Christmas but my parents are less than supportive when it comes to me keeping them. Last dispatch day is tomorrow so I'm sort of freaking out

I'm not worried about anaphylaxis because I have been stung before with no reaction and I have kept other stinging insects

 

[basin79]

Their house, their rules.

You get to make house rules when you own/rent/mortgage your own house.

Anaphylaxis occurs after the first incident. So there's no stating you couldn't potentially suffer an attack.

 

[ShyDragoness]

Wait till they do support it or till you live alone

 

[BoyFromLA]

I wouldn’t be so haste, and impatient about it. If I were you, I would take this winter to research informations about ‘Bull Ants’, and present your case to your parents, and convince them with a right way.

 

[Dennis Nedry]

Anaphylaxis occurs after the first incident. So there's no stating you couldn't potentially suffer an attack.

It is true that anaphylaxis can happen at any time but I've been stung multiple times on multiple occasions, it's hard to notice an ant on your foot until it stings and they will actively chase a perceived threat.

My parents have a rule that I can keep any animal as long as I'm responsible enough, I've kept serveral ant species and paper wasps before so I believe that I am ready to keep them (with proper precautions of course). It's not so much I'm trying to pressure them into letting me get one as it is showing them that I am ready for a queen

 

[chanda]

In the short term - forget it. As has been said, it's their house and their rules. If they are adamantly set against it, you won't be able to convince them otherwise by tomorrow. If they are not comfortable having that sort of animal in the house - whether due to fear for their own safety, or yours, or that of other people or pets in the household - you need to respect that.

In the long-term, you can try to educate them about the type of inverts that you are interested in keeping. "Educate" is not the same as repeatedly telling them "It's not that dangerous" or "I've been stung before and nothing bad happened." It means taking the time to let them know that you are aware of the correct way to house and keep the animals in question, are aware of the possible consequences of a bite or sting, and have a reasonable, well-thought-out plan in place to both prevent and (if necessary) deal with any escapes or envenomations that might occur down the road. Knowing that you are serious enough about the creatures to invest your time and energy into really learning about them - beyond reading a Wikipedia article or seeing them in a video and saying "Oh, that looks cool! I want one!" - will help to persuade them that you are serious about them. It will also demonstrate that this is a lasting interest and not just the cool bug-of-the-week that will be forgotten or neglected as soon as something else catches your eye.

In addition, be sure to demonstrate to them that you are responsible - not just for your pets but for other things as well. Clean your room, make your bed, feed the dog or cat, clean the litter box, do your chores or homework or whatever other things they expect you to do - and do them well, without them having to ask or remind you constantly. If you do your chores sloppily or incompletely, they might expect that your care of a venomous creature could be equally haphazard, increasing the likelihood of escapes or bites. If you have to be constantly reminded to pick up your laundry or make your bed or whatever, they may assume that you might also neglect your pets.

If you can demonstrate to them that you are mature and responsible enough to take care of the bull ants (or other pets), have the necessary knowledge to do so adequately and safely, and are really serious about keeping them, they may eventually come around - but it won't happen overnight.

 

[Dennis Nedry]

I wouldn’t be so haste, and impatient about it. If I were you, I would take this winter to research informations about ‘Bull Ants’, and present your case to your parents, and convince them with a right way.

I've been researching them, their care and how to contain them for a while now. I wasn't focused on the specific species I want while I did the majority of research but after looking at the seller's info it seems not much is different.

Also it's summer here

 

[BoyFromLA]

it's summer here

Oh, you’re in Australia, my bad.

 

[Dennis Nedry]

Wait till they do support it or till you live alone

They'll support it if I prove in responsible. After keeping two Cormocephalus for a year I convinced them to let me get an E rubripes, after keeping garden katydids and a stick insect for about a month they let me get a king cricket.

 

[ShyDragoness]

It is true that anaphylaxis can happen at any time but I've been stung multiple times on multiple occasions, it's hard to notice an ant on your foot until it stings and they will actively chase a perceived threat.

My parents have a rule that I can keep any animal as long as I'm responsible enough, I've kept serveral ant species and paper wasps before so I believe that I am ready to keep them (with proper precautions of course). It's not so much I'm trying to pressure them into letting me get one as it is showing them that I am ready for a queen

Then present your case! Say you've kept several species successfully, understand the risk and what precautions you need to take, how and where you will house them and hope that your parents are convinced.
I'm getting an A. geniculata tarantula soon that my mum isn't exactly happy about but she has also openly admitted that 1 more doesn't make all that much difference. She doesn't really see them anyway so as long as I dont start keeping things in her hallway she doesn't mind. Although shes definitely not happy about it haha she understands that I am responsible enough to do so independently.

 

[Dennis Nedry]

Then present your case! Say you've kept several species successfully, understand the risk and what precautions you need to take, how and where you will house them and hope that your parents are convinced.
I'm getting an A. geniculata tarantula soon that my mum isn't exactly happy about but she has also openly admitted that 1 more doesn't make all that much difference. She doesn't really see them anyway so as long as I dont start keeping things in her hallway she doesn't mind. Although shes definitely not happy about it haha she understands that I am responsible enough to do so independently.

Will do! I also need to tell her that this is a slow growing species and it takes almost a year for a worker to go from egg to adult, and that this species isn't nearly as aggressive as the bigger species (Bull ants have a famous and bad reputation here because of the several giant species). My dad already loves bees and paper wasps so I think it'll be easy enough to get him on board

 

[Dennis Nedry]

I've managed to convince my parents to let me get a queen as an early Christmas present, its a Myrmecia nigrocincta which is the more colourful and less dangerous of the two cheap bull ants they had

Pic I grabbed off Wikipedia:

 

[ShyDragoness]

I've managed to convince my parents to let me get a queen as an early Christmas present, its a Myrmecia nigrocincta which is the more colourful and less dangerous of the two cheap bull ants they had

Pic I grabbed off Wikipedia:
View attachment 260417

Let me know how you get on with them!

 

[Dennis Nedry]

Let me know how you get on with them!

Sure thing. They're active predators during the founding stage so that should be fun to watch, I'll keep you updated on the colony's growth

 

[Chris LXXIX]

Well, for me & bro was easy, in the '90.

- We can't have venomous spiders? Ah ok, no problem... we will rely on drugs like everyone else, then

Ah ah, joking. I love my parents and my Mother always loved spiders (she dislikes and always disliked scorpions only).

 

[Chris LXXIX]

Chris LXXIX (and bro) as a brat in Australia instead of Lombardy, Italy.

- Can I have venomous inverts, pleeeeeease?
- No! No way, I've said
- Ah, ok, I will go playing outside, then... all my friends are here waiting for me: Taipan, Dingo, Atrax robustus, Mr. Croc etc

 

[BoyFromLA]

Congratulation!

 

[TownesVanZandt]

my Mother always loved spiders (she dislikes and always disliked scorpions only).

I´m under the impression that this is very common in Italy. When I was staying at those apartments that the University of Oslo has in Rome I spoke with one of the Italian employees at the Norwegian Institute about which train I should take to go to Ostia. He gave me that information but also warned me that he had seen scorpions there, so I should be careful

 

[Chris LXXIX]

I´m under the impression that this is very common in Italy. When I was staying at those apartments that the University of Oslo has in Rome I spoke with one of the Italian employees at the Norwegian Institute about which train I should take to go to Ostia. He gave me that information but also warned me that he had seen scorpions there, so I should be careful

I don't know
Italy is a very strange nation, in that sense. I mean, majority of those here that dislike spiders dislikes scorpions as well, thing is that here (aside for a 'pet hole' Theraphosidae living in Sicilia island) we doesn't have "huuge like an hand (native) spiders", and the local native ones were always considered no big deal & harmless (despite the fact that we have two native species that aren't a joke, venom potency talking).

I've also personally talked to folks that, on the paper only, disliked only spiders but not scorpions (probably IMO also related to zodiac signs crap, or who knows).

My Mother, on the other hand, never 'recovered' from a direct encounter with a local scorpion when she was a little girl... despite this, when we lived together, she let us keep scorpions as well: the heart of a Mother

Eventually, we traded those because for us they were annoying, on the long run, if compared to T's.

 

[Dennis Nedry]

Well, for me & bro was easy, in the '90.

- We can't have venomous spiders? Ah ok, no problem... we will rely on drugs like everyone else, then

Ah ah, joking. I love my parents and my Mother always loved spiders (she dislikes and always disliked scorpions only).

My grandmother is Italian and she hates scorpions more than anything, seems to be a pretty common thing eh?