Convincing Parents

[WiltedRoseGold]

Frankly, my mom doesn’t like the idea of me having more than a few Ts. However, there are just so many beautiful specimens that I’d love to care for. Any tips on how to get my parents to let me get another T? I’ve already shown her the beautiful coloration on the T, so that won’t help...

 

[Polenth]

I doubt that whether the spider was pretty was ever something that concerned your parents. Find out what the concerns are and then see if you can work on the concerns. I delayed getting tarantulas for years due to someone in the house being arachnophobic, but I worked on that over the years. I demonstrated that invertebrates in my room were not escaping every five minutes, which was the central concern... that someone would wake up to a tarantula on their face. If someone does, it'd only be me.

It's likely that part of the solution is time. It'll take time to show that this is a hobby you're keeping, that you're fine looking after the pets you have, and that you'd be fine with a few more pets. There are good reasons not to get too many new pets too quickly.

 

[WiltedRoseGold]

I doubt that whether the spider was pretty was ever something that concerned your parents. Find out what the concerns are and then see if you can work on the concerns. I delayed getting tarantulas for years due to someone in the house being arachnophobic, but I worked on that over the years. I demonstrated that invertebrates in my room were not escaping every five minutes, which was the central concern... that someone would wake up to a tarantula on their face. If someone does, it'd only be me.

It's likely that part of the solution is time. It'll take time to show that this is a hobby you're keeping, that you're fine looking after the pets you have, and that you'd be fine with a few more pets. There are good reasons not to get too many new pets too quickly.

I meant showing them the coloration as a possible way of convincing them.

The problem is just having them. When I ask them for an explanation, they simple say that two is enough. I can’t get any other explanation out of them.

 

[Bipolar Spider]

I'd just chill with what you have, plenty of T's out there but there's also plenty of time to grow, move out and collect as many as you like

 

[Urzeitmensch]

Edit: sorr, misread your post ..

 

[Thekla]

May I ask how old you are?

I'd probably try to explain that maintenance is really, really easy and little compared to other pets, and that they wouldn't have to care for them when you're away on a school trip or such. Maybe they're just concerned you'd lose interest at some point and then they'd have to care for your Ts, happens with vertebrates (like hamsters, rabbits, etc.) all the time, so I could understand that.

Also, you could tell them, all good things come in threes.

 

[Polenth]

I meant showing them the coloration as a possible way of convincing them.

The problem is just having them. When I ask them for an explanation, they simple say that two is enough. I can’t get any other explanation out of them.

My point was that showing how pretty a spider is will only address the concern of whether the animals are pretty enough to be in the house. It's highly unlikely that this was ever the concern. At best, that makes it irrelevant. At worst, it shows a lack of understanding of the potential problems. The last thing you need to do is put across the idea that you haven't a clue why having too many pets might be a problem. ("I'm worried you won't be able to look after all those pets." "But they're pretty though!")

It's likely that concerns are based around you not being able to care for them or getting bored with them. You might not be able to find out exactly which one, but it won't hurt to assume those are issues. That's why I suggested time. If you're still living there in a few years, you'll be in a good place to say that a few more tarantulas wouldn't be a problem.

 

[WiltedRoseGold]

May I ask how old you are?

I'd probably try to explain that maintenance is really, really easy and little compared to other pets, and that they wouldn't have to care for them when you're away on a school trip or such. Maybe they're just concerned you'd lose interest at some point and then they'd have to care for your Ts, happens with vertebrates (like hamsters, rabbits, etc.) all the time, so I could understand that.

Also, you could tell them, all good things come in threes.

That’s a possibility. They know maintenance is low, They’ve seen it themselves and I’ve explained it to them multiple times. As far as losing interest, that may also be the case, but I have 8 pets (a majority are small like the Ts and a few species of fish), have done loads of interest, and have proved myself to be capable lol.

 

[krbshappy71]

Maybe offer a cap on the number of them so they know it won't just keep snowballing every time you get a new one. But then you need to be respectful and stick to the agreed upon cap. Maybe "over 9 pets" is more than they care to have in their house. For all they know they could say ok to this one and then be begged within a month or a week for another, a never-ending fight in their eyes. Even if you are capable of caring for a hundred pets, doesn't mean they want to share their house with a hundred other items. That's the beauty of owning and living in your own place, you get to make those rules. Buy your time, save up and move out when you are old enough, and then have your hundred. Hugs!! I do remember this feeling from when I lived at home! It is hard to wait. But the waiting is worth it and can be your motivation.

 

[WiltedRoseGold]

My point was that showing how pretty a spider is will only address the concern of whether the animals are pretty enough to be in the house. It's highly unlikely that this was ever the concern. At best, that makes it irrelevant. At worst, it shows a lack of understanding of the potential problems. The last thing you need to do is put across the idea that you haven't a clue why having too many pets might be a problem. ("I'm worried you won't be able to look after all those pets." "But they're pretty though!")

It's likely that concerns are based around you not being able to care for them or getting bored with them. You might not be able to find out exactly which one, but it won't hurt to assume those are issues. That's why I suggested time. If you're still living there in a few years, you'll be in a good place to say that a few more tarantulas wouldn't be a problem.

XD I see how the whole pretty thing came across. I didn’t even present it to them as a beautiful spider, I literally just showed them a picture of the species. My other few species aren’t necessarily beautiful in color, and they don’t care about that. The reason I mentioned the color of the specimen is because I have read similar forums asking the same question, and some people will suggest showing the coloration on the T. I just didn’t want people to recommend that because, if you ask me, the coloration of a T may be extraordinary, but that shouldn’t be the deciding factor

As far as the interest thing goes, that is probably the case. However, they know I have done loads of research and put time and energy into each pet I own. The whole reason I even joined this site was to gain further knowledge from experienced keepers that I might not be able to find on other sites.

 

[WiltedRoseGold]

Maybe offer a cap on the number of them so they know it won't just keep snowballing every time you get a new one. But then you need to be respectful and stick to the agreed upon cap. Maybe "over 9 pets" is more than they care to have in their house. For all they know they could say ok to this one and then be begged within a month or a week for another, a never-ending fight in their eyes. Even if you are capable of caring for a hundred pets, doesn't mean they want to share their house with a hundred other items. That's the beauty of owning and living in your own place, you get to make those rules. Buy your time, save up and move out when you are old enough, and then have your hundred. Hugs!! I do remember this feeling from when I lived at home! It is hard to wait. But the waiting is worth it and can be your motivation.

That’s a good point, I’ll propose that idea of a limit.

I meant 8 not 9 lol (even though that’s still a bit compared to other people, excluding hobbyists who have over 200 specimens.)

 

[EtienneN]

This probably won't work for you and it's never a good idea to 'pit' one parent against the other one; however, I'm disabled and living with my two parents at the moment and have 8 about to be 9 in a few weeks tarantulas. My mom said no more than six, because she is arachnophobic a little, but my dad who is less arachnophobic than she is says he literally doesn't care how many spiders I have as long as I don't 'flaunt' them and make my mother upset. Now my mother also only comes in my room once a month and I have probably 15 cages on my shelves; half of which are empty. But she doesn't sructinise the shelves to really look at them. Is there any way you can convince one parent to be okay with another T? That might be easier than convincing them both. But I'm probably a horrible manipulative human so please don't take this as 'real' advice. Just wanted to put it 'out there'.

 

[BoyFromLA]

Frankly, my mom doesn’t like the idea of me having more than a few Ts.

Jeez, don’t be a greedy person, share, and let your mom too have some Ts.

 

[Kitara]

Are you college bound? That is one of the reasons I won't let my daughter have anything that will need 20 years of care unless I'm willing to take it on later. She will be moving on and potentially won't be able to take the burden of 10 animals with her. Right now she can have as many as *I* am comfortable with even if that doesn't correspond with what she wants.

 

[WiltedRoseGold]

Jeez, don’t be a greedy person, share, and let your mom too have some Ts.

XD

If only she wanted her own Ts, that would make this situation so much simpler.