Interesting - I'm in a similar position to OP, both in terms of arachnophobia and wanting to get my first T. I've literally just been in contact earlier today with a local dealer who has B. hamorii and B. emilia slings at about 3/4 inch size, but I was unsure as I thought I'd read that Brachypelmas, although good beginner Ts and gorgeous looking, generally tended to be slow growers. But your experience suggests otherwise.
Emilia are harder to come by, get the emilia. Hamorii are everywhere, maybe not by you. I don't know.
Funnily enough, the local dealers (I'm in Vietnam) seem to have lots of B. boehmei, but I gather they can be very prone to kicking hairs. The other NW species that seems readily available here is D. pentaloris, and I'm very drawn to them. I know they don't often get mentioned as a beginner species, although there is at least one thread on AB which discusses that scenario in positive terms. As I understand it, they can be a bit skittish, but I can see value in having a dwarf species (or, indeed, a slow growing species such as Brachypelma) so that I grow with the spider, rather than getting freaked out by something like A. geniculata putting on a lot of size. The D. pentaloris looks very attractive in all the images I have seen, too. At the risk of sounding shallow, I do want a good-looking spider, as I don't think my circumstances will allow me to accumulate a big collection over time. So I'll need to be selective.
I have a Davus pentaloris. It's not something I'd typically recommend as a first tarantula due to being a little fast and skittish. However, I think it's doable as long as you don't intend to handle. Once settled into their enclosures, they aren't hard to manage.
Um, no. It was never something I wanted to do, and my time spent reading this forum has thoroughly convinced me my initial impulse was also correct from the spider's point of view.
Only smaller slings available at the moment. But, as I say, slow growth rate might actually be a plus point at this stage for me in the hobby. Also, it's difficult to argue against the general demeanour of the species (I realise there can always be individual exceptions), and that classic colouration.
I just purchased a female yesterday, and she is very calm, though a little stubborn.
B. hamorii are the faster growers of the two but neither are as heinously slow-growing as B. albiceps.
